Wrestlemania Liveblogging The Show

The Show

Rey Mysterio v Eddy Guerrero
GMC: “Eddy has BACK-NAIDS!!!!”
Ryan: “Rey Mysterio is dressed like a Mexican Evel Knivel.”
Jesus, these fuckers are blowing spots left and right.
Scott: “You know, those tsunami waves go 700mph.”

winner: Rey Rey
who had to drink: Ryan, Blaine, Zach

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Money-in-the-Bank Ladder Match (Edge, Jericho, Shelton Benjamin, Kane, Benoit, Christian)
Scott: “Lots of fuckin introductions”
————–
Ryan: “Do you guys think this will be as good as the TLC II match?”
Zach: “NO, it has Kane in it first off.”
————–
Ryan: “CROSSFACE~~~~ BLARG-alaha!”
————–
sCOTT: “You douchebag.”
————–
Zach: “Please don’t let edge win, I just don’t want Blaine to win.”
————–
Scott: “That was the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life!”
Ryan (who missed it): “Aww”
————–
Blaine: “wooooOOOOOOO!”
Ryan: “FUCK~!”
Zach: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

winner: Edge
who had to drink: Zach, Ryan, Scott

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Eugene v Hassan (impromtu)
Scott and Ryan: *talk about midgets*
—————
Ryan: “What’s up with all these creazy-ass birds flying around.”
Scott: “I hate birds. I’d rather have sex with a guy than be in a room with a bird.”
—————
*pizza arrived*
—————
HHHHHHHPOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN

winner: hOGAN
who had to drink: not an official match, so no one had to drink

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Undertaker v Randy Orton
Zach: “Undertaker is fucking old.”
Blaine: “Full?”
Zach: “What?”
Blaine: “Full?”
Zach: “Old”
Blaine: “oh”
———————
Zach: “I’ll fight you!”
Ryan: “What?!”
Scott: “WHAT?”
…
.
.
Blaine: “Wah?”

winner: Underbitch
who had to drink: Zach

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Christy Hemme v Trish Stratus
Holy shit, fake suspenders on big tits rule.
Zach: “I don’t even know what that move is.”
These bitches are blowing spots left and right.
Is Christy holding her hands up like a 1930s fisticuffsman?
Zach: “Goddammit Trish Stratus is hot.”

winner: Trish Stratus
who has to drink: no one, we all knew that that skank Christy Hemme had no chance of winning

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Kurt Angle v Shawn Michaels
Ryan (looking at Kurt Angle): “Sweet ass.”
Everyone else: “what?!”
———————
Good match, but no comments.
———————
Zach: “oh shit”
Scott: “He’s got lipstick on.”
Ryan: “INTERNAL INJURIES!”
———————
All: “OH SHIT!”
Ryan: “He’s really thinning out up there.”
Scott: “He’s got, like, the biggest combover ever.”
———————
Scott: “TWWWOOOOOOOO!”
———————
Scott: “I almost wish Michaels had won so Blaine had to drink.”

winner: Kurt Angel
who had to drink: Ryan, Zach

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Piper’s PIT!!!!!!!!!!
Scott: “Let’s take predictions on this one!”
Ryan: “How about: ‘Piper interviews Stone Cold?’”
————————————
Ryan: “I wish I lived in Piper’s Pit.”
————————————
Ryan: “oh man, i gots to go outside and stone cold a beer.”
*runs outside and does it*
————————————
Ryan: “What’s up with his big ass pants?”
Scott: “He’s Carribean.”
————————————
Everyone: “STUNNNNNNNNEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!”

winner: Hot Rod & Stone Cold…. er, just Stone Cold
who had to drink: Stone Cold Steve Austin

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Big Show v Akebono
All: *horrified*

winner: Akebono
who had to drink: Ryan, Blaine, Zach

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John Cena v JBL
Blaine: “word Life!      word life”

winner: John Cena
who had to drink: Ryan, Zach

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HHH v Batista
Hulk Hogan: “The strongest force in the universe isn’t Hulkamania, brother…”
Zach: “…it’s male pattern baldness.”
————–
MOTORHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
————–
Everyone: “arrrrrrrggghhhh–holy shit– up–aaawha— out of stage— raaarh!”

winner: Batista
who had to drink: Scott

Final Results

• Ryan Casperson
  • Correct Predictions: 3
  • Penalty Drinks: 5
  • Beers drank: 12
• Blaine Dunday
  • Correct Predictions: 6
  • Penalty Drinks: 2
  • Beers Drank: 7
• Scott Fournier
  • Correct Predictions: 6
  • Penalty Drinks: 2
  • Beers Drank: 11
• Zach Moneypenny
  • Correct Predictions: 2
  • Penalty Drinks: 6
  • Beers Drank: 9

–>peace and chicken grease