Motherfucker piss shit ass fuck twat.
Wednesday evening, I arrived back in Madison from California. I tried to get online to do something and my internet wasn’t connected. I fought with my computer for 45 minutes before I realized that hey, my phone didn’t work either. I went into the living room: my cable tv didn’t work either. It was late, so I resolved to call Charter (i.e., the worst motherfucking company on earth) in the morning.
Thursday morning I called (CALL NUMBER 1) Charter (REMEMBER, THE WORST FUCKING COMPANY ON EARTH) and was told there was an outage in my area. I asked how long and they said someone had been dispatched to fix it and it shouldn’t be long.
Friday morning: still no service (tv, internet, or phone) so I called back (CALL NUMBER 2). This time the utterly fucking idiot “cable tv tech support” person dispatched a technician to come look at my TV & Internet setup. The date and time for the service call? Saturday, between 1p and 5p. This becomes important later on, folks. She then transferred me to the Phone Division, where they set up a separate, Phone service call for the same day (Friday) between 8a and 5p.
Friday comes and goes, no one ever shows up or calls (MISSED SERVICE CALL 1). I would later be told that someone came to my house but I wasn’t there. Funny, I work from home; I was there all fucking day. My cell phone has this feature where I know if someone called. No one called.
Friday night I stayed at spacebee’s, because I didn’t have to be back home until 1p (when the service window was supposed to start) on Saturday.
Saturday I awoke at 11a to find 3 messages on my phone:
9:30a – “This is charter, we’re trying to confirm your service call today. The tech will be there in 20 minutes.”
10:10a – “This is Bob, the charter (the worst motherfucking company on earth) service tech, I’m outside your building.”
10:20a – “Sir, this is charter communications. You were not home so we are canceling this service call. Call back to reschedule.”
(MISSED SERVICE CALL 2)
I was about 4 shades of fucking enraged purple. However, I also know that “customer service” reps these days are trained such that if you yell and scream, they just say “Sir, I don’t have to take this abuse.” and hang up. So I called up (CALL NUMBER 3) charter (the worst motherfucking company on earth) and was angrily saying how badly I’d been treated and how this and that (no swearing, no yelling) and the guy interrupted me, put me on hold, then disconnected me. Motherfucking fuckwads at charter communications (the worst fucking company on earth). My call back was picked up, handled by a lady in South Carolina. I was then transferred to the Madison office, I was then transferred to someone in the repair department. She informed me that I had missed my appointment on Friday (news to fucking me, I was sitting in my apartment the whole day) and the one that morning (never mind that they said “in between 1 and 5″ and, where I live, TEN FUCKING O’CLOCK IS NOT BETWEEN ONE FUCKING O’CLOCK AND FIVE FUCKING O’CLOCK.)
In the end, after 60 minutes and 5 transfers or hang-ups, the repair department woman said she would schedule an appointment for me between 8a and 12:30p on Monday. So, I dutifully wake up this morning and start my now-tiring hobby of WAITING FOR MOTHERFUCKING CHARTER COMMUNICATIONS (THE WORST FUCKING COMPANY ON EARTH) MOTHERFUCKERS THAT NEVER FUCKING SHOW UP. At 12:56p I called (CALL NUMBER 4) charter (the worst fucking company on the planet) and inquired when a service tech would be at my home. I mean, they wouldn’t wait at my home for hours until I got there, but apparently I should wait all goddamn day. The woman (in North Carolina this time) looked at the service order and asked, “They aren’t there yet?” I responded “No.” She said, and I fucking quote, “Well, I suggest you just wait a little longer, they be running late. Call us back in an hour.”
Wait for it… wait for it.
(MISSED SERVICE CALL 3)
I just called back (CALL NUMBER 5) and was told that my appointment wasn’t for today! It’s for tomorrow, Tuesday! It says it right there on the order! It must be true if it says it right there on the order! What? They told me it was on Monday? No, no, no sir, I must have heard them wrong. It couldn’t be the fault of charter communications (the shittiest fucking service in the entire industry!) (and the employer of some astoundingly stupid fucking humans).
So what will I be doing to tomorrow? Sitting right here, HOLDING MY FUCKING DICK and waiting for someone at charter commui-fucking-cations (i.e., the worst company I’ve ever had dealings with) to walk in and say “damn, you don’t have any cable, phone, OR internet.”
Honestly, I haven’t been this enraged since The Steve Misrack (The Worst and Scummiest Landlord on Earth) Incident. This one is going down in the record books, folks.
hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.
i think it’s time to stop muzzling the anger on the phone and keep it real with these assholes.
fuck you charter. also your digital cable guide sucks ass. worst cable company on earth. “charter” what the fuck does that even mean. “comcast” now there is a name for a cable company. charter, it’s just a matter of time now. you are already dead. mishu maka puttin or some shit.
What happens if I stop muzzling? nothing. I get no service, I get no help, and I continue to pay their dumb fuck monthly fees. All I can do smile until I have my service back, and tell everyone within earshot how much of a fucking horrible company they are. It has crossed my mind whether I have legal recourse to sue to get out of the 12 mo contract just so I can go with another option (dsl+phone from the phone company and no cable). I mean, if I sign a contract that says, “I will pay you for these services…” and they don’t provide the services, AND they completely fuck up every effort to fix my shit. I mean, is there an incompetence clause in the fucking contract? No way, because they are a national corporation that rapes customers for a living. I am a “little guy” (i.e., schmuck) and therefore it is my constutional duty to get fucked by corps. Until I am a corpse.
Got my xmas card from the wwhazz’s today. Thanks homey.
interesting.
given these 2 choices…
1: yelling at their customer support
2: using their network to tell the world they suck
which would they have more incentive to leave you without service longer?
if you yell at customer support, they will not like that. who cares if they have a script and don’t give you the response you think you deserve to hear. they will not like that. if the support staff at a company is full of people that don’t like their jobs, the entire company will suffer. if you feel the company has wronged you in such a way that they should suffer, yelling at their support staff will make them suffer.
the support staff will tell their friends they hate their job. why do they hate their job? because this guy who has ever reason to be mad at this company put me in charge of listening to him yell at me. and he does. man they suck so much. man i hate my job. man i never going to use their service or encourage anyone i know to work there. man getting yelled at sucks. i’m not looking for a fucking phone pal, i want my cable service to work as the contract i signed implied it would. oh there is some clause in there waiving your responsibility from technical difficulties? FUCK YOUR CLAUSE. FIX MY SHIT OR I WILL END YOU. no…. fuck YOUR MOTHER. I AINT PLAYING NO MORE, FIX MY SHIT! FIX MY SHIT. FIX MY SHIT. FIX MY SHIT. STOP TALKING. STOP TALKING. FIX MY SHIT. YOU ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS.
then hang up. that is what they are there for. don’t play their games. no no, it says here tuesday… and you let that shit slide? fuck all that. i’m telling him how i’m going to stomp him to pulp if he doesn’t stop lying. they are fucking PLAYING you. if you don’t stop it, they wont stop. FUCK charter.
how about choice 3: they. don’t. give. a shit. cable companies have no fucking competition, who the fuck would I run to with my money> it’s part of the reason why i just had NO cable in california, after the DirecTV fiasco i would rather have no entertainment than pay those fuckheads. when I moved to madison Iabsolutely NEEDED internet and phone service, and $100 for all three ain’t bad.
fine, next time they fuck me over I’ll open from under the gun yelling. we’ll see how far I get. if I can find some way to tape it, I will.
and in an industry where they expect to get yelled at and don’t have to resources to help everyone at once, they obviously have to prioritize… and the manager of the support staff obviously understands the value of morale. the loudest complaint gets fixed first. it’s almost stupid to do it any other way.
that is why AT&T is laying new fiber cable that doesn’t fall under cable companies law, the same little trick that the cable companies used to get around fcc laws… but now the cable industry is high regulated and has put the phone industry out of business, so now AT&T is doing the same side step. every time you make a cable company cry, you give saline support to the next company looking to crush them. also that disgruntled temp who quit at charter will now be free to work in AT&Ts new fiber support call center.
theoretically that is.
or if you want to play their same passive games like putting you on hold and cutting you off, you could just start calling them 20 times a day with little shit about tiny specs in your picture on channel 5, and how your upload speeds “just sorta seem slower after 2pm” and shit like that and just waste their time.
the thing is, the company doesn’t care about the money spent on customer support, so wasting it is just giving this person a job. and they could care less if they are actually getting anything done… they just want that paycheck. they are fucking temp. they didn’t aspire to call center technician. you’re just helping them have an easier day at work. so i suppose you’re wasting 2 peoples time and draining the corporation of funds by making people with real problems wait on hold. this is why i hate the phone.
why not develop a new super fast network technology and hook it up with your neighbor and just build from there. eventually you’ll rule the world.
or be regulated to death and stuck with a support staff of thousands who all hate you because you gave people a reason to attack them.
america the beautiful.
we may have a man on the inside. gmc comes through.
why not develop a new super fast network technology and hook it up with your neighbor and just build from there.
zounds! why didn’t i think of that? but maybe you missed that whole middle ground where you’re an idiot.
hate.hate.hate i hate everything now
that’s more like it!
that’s a whole lotta hatin’ on charter. i have almost equal hatred for the following companies: TDS metrocom, epson printers, SPRINT. oh, sprint. don’t even get my fucking ball rolling on them.
i think it’s normal in todays world of automated customer service to have some hatred for some companies. other companies like apple and MP you’ll like this one, Intuit have friendly, helpful service people who try to get you through your problems. i would like to counteract my hatred for sprint by saying, thank you friendly quickbooks helpers in pakistan for always answering my questions, and with a very distinguished accent to boot.
does anyone NOT have beef with sprint? i seriously have never heard a single person praise sprint service. i’m was with AT&T, but cingular (the company so afraid of “sin” that they will teach a generation to misspell it) decided they had reached a critical mass to aquire AT&T or simply harass them out of business. ok, take that weak shit… we’re laying fiber. singular cucks.
they are all just first level affiliates in the far east technology import game. don’t hate the players, hate the game.
yeah, my hate.hate.hate for sprint goes way back to when they changed my address to some random one that was two cities away, sent my bill there, then sent a collection agency after me because I didn’t pay the bill they didn’t send to me. I had been a sprint customer for 5 years at that point and they just treated me like dirt. fuck you sprint, here’s my middle finger. sprint: suck on it, then stick it in your urethra up to the second knuckle.
i’ve been dealing with full tilt support for the last 2 days. i punked the bitch, she said she would never give me what i wanted because i was vulgar to her… but my hate.hate.hate was carefully crafted in such a way that any accusation of vulgarity could easily be defended.
after speaking with her manager it seems “jenna” had a problem with me saying she was “as useful as a pile of gravel.”
any fucking IDIOT knows that gravel has NUMEROUS uses. if jenna took that the wrong way, i am truly sorry she was unable to distinguish my tone.
i asked for the manager to appologize. he did. AND he turned my chat back on. it’s a service industry…. SERVE US. service. SERVE US. coinciDUNCE? these assholes can’t keep me down.
if only the doomswitch weren’t real.
worst case scenario, brad pitt convinces jenna to join him and his friend in the basement of a bar which will result in established capitalist institutions being destroyed in dolby 8.4 surround cinemasperience sound.
here was my problem… my first email was like one sentance with the tersest request possible explaining everything needed to know to get done what i was requesting. i signed it “thanks”. the response was telling me that the email didn’t come from the email registered with my username. i always register on websites with forwarding accounts that don’t exist… they all go to the same place. i never send email “from” them. the way email works, this doesn’t matter… anyone can say they are anyone… same as the return address on an envelope… you can write whatever you want. so my next response, from the same “incorrect” email address explained all of this and restated my original request. that is when this bitch decided she wanted to be right.
bitches are NEVER right.
why are they at all concerned that the from field on the emailed request was different than the “send to” email registered with the account? they must be concerned someone would pretend they were me. ok, why? what if it wasn’t me and you turned it back on anyways?
so…
1. it doesn’t matter anyways.
2. if it did, you are wrong in assuming how it would.
i make a simple request and you take me to this new state where you are doubly wrong and i still don’t have what i asked for? no fucking way jenna. i OWN you. i am HOV.
OH SNAP! this just in. from JENNA!
“Let me apologize for considering “about as helpful as a pile of gravel”
vulgar. I did not mean to offend you in any way. Hopefully I was able to
help you when I reinstated your chat privilege, that is what I am here
for.”
her manager must have made her apologize as well! HAHAHAHAHA
OWNED!
or her manager made use of the same email “feature” i made use of and sent me this “from” jenna behind her back thus letting her keep her pride. either way. jenna is a bitch. don’t give her customer support work. she is poor at it.
i shouldn’t say that… she did apologize…
i certainly wouldn’t want people working for me that had to apologize all the time, or even worse i had to apologize for them. jenna just lost a whole lot of credibility just because she stood in front of a train. NOT. SMART. next time just turn it on.
that IS what she is here for!!!!
CAN YOU SMELLLLLLLLLELELELELELELELELELLEL WHEN YOU KNOW. YOUR. ROLE.
jenna just got FU’d by logic.
very clever.
Hey jerks,
Go see American Pie: Naked Mile. Support a Lauderdale Legend, Eugene Levy.
does lauderdale mean big eyebrows? does cal wish he could freely run naked? WHERE is GREG?!
cal, i perceive you not only as a san francisco resident, but also as a san francisco enthusiast. is that correct? what is your favorite aspect of the community? do the hills suck because they make things complicated, or do they represent the ability to overcome and embrace them? does anyone care? does anyone notice? what is your living situation like? pleasant? it’s such a unique city. i hear the hippies in golden gate park sell drugs.
actually, if you just wanted to dump everything into the ocean, the hills make things incredibly easier. hmmmmmm.
and that godiva chocolate factory so close to the shore…. almost if they intentionally made the island of alcatraz out of chocolate ON PURPOSE.
1. very clever, indeed. i know what someone’s getting for xmas this year, and since she doesn’t know how to work the series of tubes-ernet she’ll never know its coming.
2. cal is very much a san francisco enthusiast
3. not godiva: Ghirardelli
4. i think cal loves san francisco BECAUSE of the hills, and the traffic, and the hordes of uncaring, unfeeling people. it’s like every single day is a triumph if you can make it home without being flattened by a cab doing 110.
5. ewaz is en route, i will take a picture so it will last longer.
did charter come? or is it missed service appt # 999. I share your hate for them and I am sorry you must be in such a situation so close to the holidays. please finish the story
oh yeah, I heard that you got electrocuted because of them. well, we are now two hours and 49 minutes into the 4th service window they gave me. supplies running low. send grape kool-aid.
fake cal alert. fake cal alert. weeooweoo call the fake police. i do not heartily recommend that american pie movie. it might be good but i have not seen it. i am going to retire the word JERK the the plural JERKS.
from,
the true and real cal
oh and by the way… i am in the SUPERBOWL OF FANTASY FOOTBALL AGAINST KCAR!
wow that’s great cal, i’m impressed. you’re the best man.
your true (and real) friend,
Madd
yes, i agree! i wish i still lived near you; you are glorious cal. GLOR-I-OUS.
another real post from,
whazzmaster
bwaaaaaaaaa ok… ummmm.. yes! i agree with those two above, cal, you know, often i try to hide my true feelings of LOVE for you. it is because i see how well and easy you are able to enjoy all the world has to offer, and i am just a meek and small student of your learnings. plus i am so weak at fantasy football. it’s really tough to try and try and never be able to know what to do, as you, cal, always do. what i am trying to say is that you do good. you do good. you are god. oops i meant you are good. but cal, you ARE god. you are a good god and i just need to say, right here on whazzmaster, as i sit here in the nude, typing, that i love cal. I LOVE CAL.
from,
wwhazz
shut up you’re all losers.
owned.
-cal
weeeooweeoo! fake whazzmaster alert!
eroz! in my house! caught! up! with! *huff, huff* too excited, can’t talk!
dude, that sucks. i feel your pain, remember when those apartment bitches tried to screw me over in new york? be strong and fight the power!
Charter sucks shit in hell. The bastards did the same thing to me. Totally fucked up my appointments twice. And then the dumb ass installer finally shows up and tracks mud all over my carpet. Dumb ass mother-fucker. He had wrong information as to what my installation was to have been. Now they have totally fucked up my billing. And my cable doesn’t work. Worst company in America. Incompetent, rude, liars, lousy service. But they have a monopoly.
And fuck Bush too.
clear view of the southern sky? go satellite. dsl connection? just download media.
what is your favorite show on cable you can’t live without?
does charter have fuse tv? a lot of internet squads are getting shows on there and they are pretty good.
10 minutes until a 300 player point tourney for 6 $75 tokens… 250 in… decent
This is sad, but CSR’s either:
a) are too stupid to do anything for you
b) afraid to lose their jobs if they actually help a customer or
c) don’t give a shit and just cover up whenever they screw up.
While a lot of CSRs are stupid and shouldn’t have their jobs, I’m sure Charter doesn’t care. In fact, having worked as a CSR for a very brief period (1 month, I couldn’t stand the company) I can say that CSRs are not there for the customer, they are there for the company.
If the company doesn’t care, the CSR has little reason to care. They are paid directly by the company, and only indirectly by you. Who do you think they want to keep happy to keep their job?
You think you ever get to speak with the head honchos at the company? No, you get to talk to the lowly CSR who either doesn’t know shit, or can’t do shit because the company that pays them says they can’t.
Simply put “support” for just about any company is a joke, there are only a few companies I actually appreciate their support.
If you think Charter is bad, try asking Adobe a question about their license agreement, and get 10 different answers in one hour by people who aren’t lawyers but are pretending to be.
PREACH
i needed a digital cable card for my tivo and called comcast a week before it was delivered… they said i could get one at the comcast customer service location a few blocks from my house. awesome. the day it was scheduled to arrive i go over, and they tell me that they don’t have them there and i have to call for an appointment. i call back and they say i have to have it delivered by an install technician and the earliest appointment is 1 week away. i have always understood the role of the customer service rep and the customer and how the company plays us against each other to profit, so now my move is obviously to flip the script. i simutaniously kept a rep on the phone and another occupied with online chat for 4 hours while i played my poker tourneys. evually i got the appointment for 4 days out instead of 7 after they said it was impossible and i just told them to check again over and over for hours and they kept doing it. eventually i got a supervisor that said they wouldn’t check again and i asked for them to check again and they said it would never work and there was no appointments and they i would say that it has just worked an hour ago on this same call and i would like them to check again and they would say is this call over? and i would say please check for an appointment and they would say that they don’t do that and it wouldn’t work anyways and i would say that they just did and it just did, then they would ask if the call was over and i would say please check for an appointment… on and on and on. the whole time i’m cracking myself up and my wife is telling me i’m a bad person and i should hang up, and i explain the game to her and she says i’m evil and back and forth and back and forth. so all in all i took up 2 CSRs and 2 CSR supervisors time for 8 hours. that definately burned up all of the profits that i’ve ever generated for the company, so we’re even. cablecard works great.
i saved the chat text if you want it.
then dude would be like “once an appointment is made, it is impossible to change it” then i’m like “you just did that for me” then they are like “we won’t do it again” “so you just lied to me when you said that was something you could not do as the word ‘again’ implies it had already been done” …. silence… he starts to mumble… i bark over him “YOU ARE A LIAR”…. silence… he starts to mumble again…. again i interrupt “NO ONE LIKES LIARS”. he comes back right away this time as a broken man “you may not continue with this abusive language”, i’m on top “WHICH SPECIFIC WORD DID YOU FIND OFFENSIVE?” … half beat of silence, might as well knock him out, he’s got a flashy star upside his head and i know about pushing up and the b button at the same time. “ARE YOU DENYING THAT YOU JUST LIED TO ME? THAT IS WHAT A LIAR WOULD DO. ARE YOU DENYING THAT NO ONE LIKES LIARS? DO YOU LIKE LIARS? YOU ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE SICK. YOU ARE CANCER ON SOCIETY. iiiiiiii HATE you.” “this call is being terminated because of your continued use of a abusive language” “fuck your mother.”
poor dude’s got a job in a call center and he’s got to deal with madd scientist and his abusive language. all because the sckeezer can’t get the right cord to plug in his tivo. sckeezer you are a problem.
new yorker article on Chris Ferguson and poker, interesting for me but you guys prob know all this game theory stuff
http://archives.newyorker.com/?i=2009-03-30#folio=030
need id and password… annoying..
firstletterofmyfirstnamethenlastname@yahoo.com
password: scientist
oops, not supposed to be a green link duh. i’m sorry i ever attempted to join this chat room.
all he had to do was not lie to me
nice poker artiCLE. here is the only way to win at poker: bet.
whazzmaster: 1, charter: 0
and etrade plunges back to 1.10… get dan akroid and eddie murphy on call to handle your short sell ticket writing.
whazzmaster has slowed to a crawl! keep up your posts madd this ship seems to be sinking… however, in the meantime, i will let you in on my thoughts. i have been thinking about the chicago cubs and why i like their organization.
1) wrigley field – i would suggest that wrigley field is the best baseball field in the world, I love the lack of ads, i love the ivy, i love the lack of mall shopping, no kids slide or clowns or whatever modern stadiums have to keep brats entertained. how about you watch the baseball game THEN go shopping? but whatever i don’t mind the shopping and crap in other stadiums, just prefer when they don’t exist, but if the people demand that shit then the people demand it. anyway, not in wrigley. another thing about wrigley, it is quiet. no blaring music.
2) the day games. in 88 when they installed the lights they capped the number of night games they would allow, and i dont’ know what that number is but it is cool. when i lived in chicago i worked in various offices doing various temp crap for a month here and 3 months there and accross the board one thing was true: attending a cubs game was a completely legitimate excuse for not being at work. try that in san francisco.
3) they have not been to the world series since 1908. they are the perennial underdogs and how can you not support the underdog?
4) i used to like the w sox because in chicago they get no attention and cubs are the darlings of the media, but since the sox won the world series i’m sick of them. go to hell sox.
5) back to the cubs, wrigleyville is pretty cool too. just wandering around the neighborhood before a game is great experience.
6) your mom
dude, where are the goldy pics of me rocking the video games? i think that would make a good new post.
jfdkjfkdjfdkfjdk where are you whazzers? it’s monday. monday monday CAL!