Moving back to the midwest was a very odd trip. With the crunch time at work to occupy my time the trip came very suddenly, and before I knew it I was posted up right around the corner from the Badger Bus depot. If I go out on my balcony I can see such sights as the HowardTree (DoubleHo), El Capital, and the Main Depot. It was a good month before I settled out of my childlike excitement (LET’S GO TO SMOKY’S TONIGHT! I HAVEN’T BEEN THERE IN YEARS!) at being back. It’s been terrific being able to jet home and see the family as well.
All sorts of excited gesticulations and honorifics are due to the Rumthumb-Lawman Axis, the Queen and King of all that is Progressive Madison. I am truly learning things about Madison I never knew during my, ahem, student days. I’m a certified Willy Co-op Member now, and I’m looking forward to the neat things to do in the spring (or ice fishing if it ever gets cold enough around here to freeze water).
From my desk at this moment I can see the entire Capital (or capitol, I can never remember which is finance-related and which is governing-related) dome. That in itself is breathtaking. It’s very nice in many ways to be back in the midwest: no commute, minutes from places instead of hours (with traffic), food and drinks are cheaper by a mile. There are some drawbacks: no good burritos, little choice in Thai or Indian food, the absence of the Technical Community of Silicon Valley, and the furthernerness from San Diego. It was so nice to be able to hop a Friday night flight down to San Dog to watch a UFC ppv with the Pals. The flip side of that is that it’s no longer a monumental effort to see family and friends between Madison and Racine. Say lah vee.
Finance-wise, the expected boon due to the cost-of-living differences didn’t materialize at first but that was caused by Xmas Gift Xtravanganza 2006. Now that we’ve settled down a bit I’ve scripted out the finances and they seem more under control. Additionally, I need to be hesitant about doing anything until the 2006 income taxes are done. We sold the house at a profit last year and I held back a bit of money in order to use for the taxes. Once that’s clear and I know exactly how much to pay I can start saving the rest of it in earnest.
Finally, I miss seeing people like fuddruckus, gmc, ben, Tha RDP Krew, my peeps at Intuit, and a whole host of others. My HOLLLARBACK schedule was somewhat disrupted over the holidays but I’m looking forward to spending more time back in the bay area for some project-related time. I hope to see all of you then,
Things I Just Can’t Get Over in Madison:
- I giggle every time I pass Cal and Springer’s old pad on Doty St. I pass it at least twice a day.
- I can’t get over that I can see Ogg Hall from my balcony.
- It’s January and still hitting 50° in Madison. The lakes aren’t froze yet, cap’n.
- That Cal told me to ‘lose the swords, homey.’
- That I can go to a fancy-pants restaurant like Harvest and get Schlitz in a can, for $2.
- That I can have BW3 whenever the fuck I want, but DON’T eat it all day every day.
- That Scubby and peterstiffly and I are going RAW is WAR on Feb 2nd. Awesome.
grow some cal
seriously cal…it’s about time u grew some.
wait, madd… is that a directive, like, “grow some corn,” or, “grow some broccoli”
or is there a missing comma:
grow some, cal
also a directive, indicating that cal needs to grow something in particular…
and if so,
what do you want cal to grow? organic lettuce?
Wirkus is a jerkus!
I can’t believe this! I feel like a virgin coming back here. This place feels so alien. I miss the old whazzmaster. the whazzmaster who does’t open doors for you, and belches in your face! I want my pal back! I’m sure that over time I will begin to see the beauty in this high-speed-low-drag slut but, until then I will long for Turkey Club’s with the old seasoned fries and Maahki Igahli of the Sudan.
1. ktk, remind me that you are an english professor and that i only have my lousy BA in that subject next time i’m looking for grammar advice.
2. is that actually ewaz right above me? or we back to this nonsense impostor bullshit again?
3. MP-i’m not going to pretend that there are madison mex restaurants as good as they are in cali but…there are a whole host of indian restautants you haven’t explored yet so bear with us on that comparison.
4. how are the BOSUers?
1. that really is ewaz, i can vouch. i have secret information.
2. madison mexican = for shit (that’s an assignnment operator folks, it casts implicitly). I’ll try the new indian joint on west wash, but nothing will ever be as good as shiva’s in mountain view.
3. my body hurts.
hurray for ewaz!
I opened up the link to that… place that sceizzer’s gonna live in. It started talking to me straightaway. I dislike apartments where the website talks to you with no way to shut it off. I dislike them intensely.
Hola amigos! Como estas, bithches? Moneypenny, are you there?
I have been writing my ass off lately, and working two jobs, and now I am down to just one. I have a question for all but, Wirkuswhazz may be the prime source of an answer. God that sounded weird. Is there such a device, either of this realm or not, that is a “dictionary” to stryline that have been written, in order to avoid me going to jail. . .again? Please help. Nice job coaching the game on Tues. you probably could here it from your balcony I presume.
Your mission if you live in Wisconsin: go to milwaukeebrewers.com and look at the 20-game season ticket packages. See if there is one you would like. Call me and we will buy a package together!
You: “Why so glum, chum?”
Me: “The closest doctor that is in my insurance plan is in New Glarus.”
ha new glarus. well you can hit a round of golf while you’re there and drink some of that new glarus beer. hi ewaz! sorry i never got back to you i love you. since i signed up to be a lawyer the wall stree journal appears on my doorstep every day. it’s surprizingly entertaining. today in the wall street journal: Hawaii’s Housing Boom Takes a Toll on the Homeless. see, Hawaii’s got the highest rent in the US so they have 6000 people living in shacks on the beach. also in the paper. Japan’s Cancer Refugees Demand More Options. see, in Japan the government pays everybody’s medical bills and this is very expensive so they skimp on the cancer treatments. And cancer patients say this is NOT COOL. So they are in a bind. Pay for everybody and skimp or don’t skimp and go broke? And ewaz is in a bind too! Ewaz, don’t worry about writing what has already been written– that’s how it works… Just rewright McTeague – you think anybody’s going to notice? i wanna be marcus, just call him cal and make him a runner. Grow some cal why don’t you. Hurray for whazzmaster! Hurray for ewaz! Hurray for Maahki!
1. Ewhazz listen to cal.
2. If you’re going to be homless, it may as well be in Hawaii. If you’re going to have cancer, it may as well be ass cancer.
3. Zach, never bother with the 20 game package. It’s hard enough to plan one game… plus Brewer tickets just fall in your lap as the season goes on (your dad, my dad, random gas station tickets, buy one get one free days…). Tickets are cheap, they never sell out, you can buy them for a discount from that scalper guy with one leg. So don’t fret my pet. Spend your energy trying to capture ewhazz.
4. Holy shit, cal gets here on… FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zach, you can stop at that meat market if you’re in New Glarus. Blanchardville is real close.
we should go say hi to ken ruegsegger, good idea wwhazz.that morman makes damned good sausages. MP i will give you a DVD of clean harvest, the movie where i made ken a *star* in wisconsin. then we can go to the mustard museum in mt horeb and get some sort of weird mustard to put on the sausages (think hot key lime or cranberry chipotle).
I was in the Cadillac with the ppop log. What did I miss? Hi cal and wirkuwazzzzz! WW, did you ever read that book stepen king put out, On Writing? In it he talks about less is more. . .Strunk and White stff, and praises Norris and McTeague about being straight forward and not getting lost on LONG STORY SHORTS!!! Do you know of anywhwere to see if a storyline has been used?
I forgive cal for acting like ewaz
Did Steven King really write about Norris? Or is that Made-Up Ewazzisms?
I’ve filed out the poop log twice today already. Woe is me.
that moron makes damned good sausages.
Cal makes some damned good entries in the poop log.
grow some cal man. grow. some. cal. like the sister ktk say: directly grow some. what’s up rappin 4Nay? what’s up city of frisco? what’s that you say sf weatherman? saturday will be the coldest day in eight years? oh? yes? well… so long frezing sf! hello moderately warm SAN DIEGO!!! toot toot!
Ewhaz, just spill the beans. Is your story about a white whale? A kid who sees dead people? The son of god done come back to life?
Just post your idea and we will use our combined literary knowledge to tell you if you made something up or simply saw it on TV while drunk and now are having flashbacks.
Otherwise this helps a little:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Hero_with_a_Thousand_Faces
Over/under on number of Ewhazz whazz posts between now and Jan 11th 2008?
4.
Hey cal,
When your boss showed that whazzmaster/talksoup did yout think you were in trouble?
I would’ve.
No, it is real. Give me a bit to find the page. He hates adjectives like the old men at the Connie(not Rich) hate Bubbaruunns! He also talks about killing your darlings. Killing the thing you rely upon most. I have not read much King, and don not really plan to, but during his first large successes like Carrie, and The Stand, he drank a garge can full of High Life or Miller a week. His wife would ride him about his drinking, and he thought she was looney. Then, one day he actually kept track, and saw his garbage can out in the garage was full! Toaday I went to his site of his same name.com, and wanted to know if the cans were crushed or not! Just kidding. I am cleaning da howsss, so I will do that research later.
Cal–real runners run in everything!
Do you think the kenyan runners quit running if it gets below 95 degrees? I don’t think so. you grab you 1981 NBA shorts, your overpriced Ironman watch, lace up yous Saconys’ get your ass out there tomorrow or I’m on a flight on Sat. Just me and my Shit Factory speech!
holy holllarit.
woah whaoh wooa! slow down there pal you’re posting incomprehensibly. i will help you. OK? here is your story that fits into that joseph cambell deal:
1. The Cal to Adventure
The adventure begins with the hero receiving a Cal to action, such as a threat to the peace of the community (whazzmaster), or the hero simply falls into or blunders into it. Like when drinking mysterious poisoned liquor and become BELLIGERENT CAL to Adventure. The Cal is often announced to the hero by another character (O’Neil) who acts as a “herald”. The herald, often represented as dark or terrifying and judged evil by the world (wait, Skeezer), may call the character to adventure (V12EG04AS08) simply by the crisis of his appearance (defiantly Skeezer).
2. Refusal of the Cal
In some stories, the hero initially refuses the Cal to adventure. (law school) When this happens, the hero may suffer somehow, and may eventually choose to answer (post), or may continue to decline the Cal. If the hero does not decline the Cal…
3. Supernatural Aid
After the hero has accepted the Cal, he encounters a protective figure (springer) who provides special tools (bell cart) and advice (photography advice) for the adventure ahead, such as an amulet or a weapon (goldy camera).
4. The Crossing of the First Threshold (hojo)
The hero must cross the threshold between the world he is familiar with (hojo bar) and that which he is not (front desk). Often this involves facing a “threshold guardian”, (tom z) an entity that works to keep all within the protective confines of the world but must be encountered in order to enter the new zone of experience. (like ben the cook was caught in the kitchen and would stick his head in the door window and peer out)
5. The Belly of the Whale
The hero, rather than passing a threshold, passes into the new zone by means of rebirth (9214LIFE). Appearing to have died by being swallowed or having their flesh scattered (9214LIFE), the hero is transformed and becomes ready for the adventure ahead. (red shed/wando’s fishbowl)
ok now you have your story… go!
5124L duh! that’s what i meant. i think you have your title ewaz. either that or “I will do that research later”
I agree about the title! That’s damn genius man. Simple and genius. I hate to do it but here goes. My idea is about a guy our age who realizes that every sporting event that he cares about, his team wins. That is, provided he be watching in person, and can not miss a second of it live. He tests his theory and finds it to be correct. He struggles with a kind of Groundhogs Day God in control time. His friends suspect something, and then he is in high demand. He is winwed and dined, oh-no! The mob gets wind, they will try to kill him, or bribe him to go to certain games. . .he enjoys the beginning part. Who hasn’t wanted there team to win all the time? Then, things like work, family functions, his girlfriend, all get in the way. He can not afford to miss work, but he can not afford not to. He decided to bet on these. Now here is where I may or may not do a God is in control, by having his “power” recinded, and he get in deep debt. You can see the possibilities!!!
Cal-the title I had to work with was Can’t Lose. The last sentence having him contemplating things and mutterring. . .”I just can’t win”
i hope you mean “I will do that research later” ??? yes! get to work ewaz! but wait. the money is in screenplays so find a template and just fill it in. it’ll be great. they’ll get zack morris to play “the kid” and it works because even though zack morris had popular and critical success on SBTB and NYPD blue he is (probably) troubled by deamons who tell him playing second fiddle to kelly kapowski was an embarrassment and this follows the metaphor of the team winning but he is losing inside! dying inside! anyway. SCREEN PLAY. ZERO dollars in books. sell to holly wood, wwhazz is near he will help you. let’s get “I will do that research later” on the big screen!!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Screenplay
ug. moderation. my commemnt is awaiting moderation. well ewaz is awaiting fame and glory!!!
maddddd, have you noticed that cal and ewaz have taken over your show? steal your thunder back i say!
no way. your thunder is dead. this is cal’s time. CAL!
I am getting crow feathers out of my mouth. I hust got nback from an hour walk with my girlfriend. It is 28 degrees out. I must go stetch.
Thanks for the advice, cal. Heart, ewaz. p.s.-I still love the watch you gave me for my B-Day! Till ‘morrow
Yesterday: blogstorm
Today: silencio, por favor
the sun is shining, the blogstorm has passed.
HE’S BACK! I HEARD YOU’RE GOING TO SAN DIEGO, HOMBRE!
yeah 9 pm PM PM i’m a working stiff can’t take all the live long friday off whenever i want you know. jerkusjazz thought i got in this AM and was pleased to learn he could go back to bed… another 12 hours hombre. in the meantime… O’NEIL!
also, i would like to point out that i have silenced the so-called “madd” scientist. keep quiet you skeez.
from,
cal
what about the rosin story? sportsman brought down by girlfriend. is this a true story eroz? you know, you had me until “oh-no! The mob gets wind, they will try to kill him? what mob? do we really have to spend time reading/watching our hero run from the mob? that is boring. take the mob out ok? no mob. “things like work, family functions, his girlfriend, all get in the way” this IS
a true story huh.
accidently hit enter sorry… anyway…
i know — he should NOT go to games and bet AGAINST his team and make millions but then his heart is turned when he meets a sick orphan who loves the team so he befriends the sick orphan and decides to go to games with the kid and MAKE THE KID THINK HE IS THE REASON THE TEAM IS WINNING! in the end he adopts the kid and they live together in a mansion. it’s movie gold am i right?
you are all stunned into silence by my movie. hey skeezy if you think i am the man don’t post
the man!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so how about that soccer player moving to la. wow.
ok i’m out of here peace.
peace out
I just got back from work today, after cleaning the house. I have a glass of Speyburn, which is named for and located on Scotlands laongest river? It tastes a little less peaty than Laphroig, and only costs $20 a bottle.
Cal-I think you got a little too much out of my blog. The girlfriend and the mob may not be brought up at all, and I don’t know what turns will be taken, but you wolves were fucking hungry!!
Insanity=Cleaning house.
Cleaning house=Eroz.
Eroz=Insane.
Out!
Cal, how is your cousin SoCal? How are your Whitehouse Accomodations?
CAL IS HERE
I too am a big fan.