February 2007 is halfway through, and I couldn’t be happier for myriad reasons. The end of the month is spacebee’s birthday, and it’s Vegas Time. Also, it’s fuckin Wisconsin in February so, yeah, there you go. But mostly it’s because I’m criss-crossing (miggety mack’ll make ya) this country of ours like a futuristic hobo on the the modern boxcar: coach seats on United aircraft. It’s full of the same disheveled stinkpots you’d probably find on the long-haul from Hackensack to Hoboton, but with laptop computers and an even worse disposition.
So this week was Mountain View for Hacktavism RC1 (you tech-tards won’t understand or care, but it had to do with making whiz-bang software) and next week is Whale’s Vagina for the Intuit Tech Forum. Fuddruckus and Manders are shouldering the awesome responsibility of watching grace-o crawl/creep/boot-scoot-boogey all the way from San Heezy to San Deezy to kick it, Intuit-style, at a Coronado Resort. I’m still trying to organize a Sushi ExtravaDanza sometime next week. Fudd told me Sceizzer was down as well. That true, maddddddddddddddd?
So, it’s Sahn Dee-ah-goe next week, then back home for the Ultra-Rare (biggest screen in the Midwest!) GMC Wisconsin visit. Oh man, oh man, I’m so excited! I’m! So! Scared! Then it’s off to Las Vegas for food, folks, and fun. And by that I mean food (Sbarro food court), folks (mexican dudes throwing hooker trading cards at me), and fun (losing my shirt in craps). Oh mommmmmmmmmmmmmmm, can’t we stay the Hooters Hotel & Casino?
After that I’ll finally be back in Wisconsin for a week or so, and then it’s off to Florida for a week. Theoretically I should be taking pictures. In fact, I may or may not. We shall see. Here’s some pictures from the Hacktavism Thing-A-Ma-Jig.
Finally, oh my god, is that Vanilla Ice? Yes, my company hired him as a pitchman. Yes, he’s wearing a giant Uncle Sam hat. Yes, he raps about filing your taxes. Huzzah.
1. Scientist, you can win $25,000 if your rap wins. Do eet.
2. Employees are ineligible to win the two-and-a-half stacks of high society, but we CAN win a made-for-this-contest blinged-out TurboTax chain.
“get more exclusive flava on thetaxrap.com”
things don’t look good for society. i actually just got my computer all set up yesterday (only been here a month), so i’m good to start recording. what if you put on the lucha mask and represented the tax man and informed everyone how you get more and more powerful every day and how much you hate turbotax because it helps the people you are trying to take down. then i represent the little guy sticking it to the man by paying my taxes on time after purchasing a 3rd party product to assist me in doing so. word.
if there is a party in san dog with whazzmaster, fuddruckus, manders, grace-o, wwhazz, and bellygirl, with possible steven-eee run ins and the chance of getting my belly painted like a whale, i’m there. just tell me when.
i love that old dog buck! as a matter of fact jack london’s birthplace is a mere city block away from where i am sitting! word booty! i love jack london. to light a fire, call of the wild, white fang, all that. jack london! jack! london! BG you knocked me out with your disses! i got dissed. but i remain cool. revenge is a dish best served cool. oh and dear whwhaz pal, i did not order the donut in a jerky way. it was more of a i-am-easy-to-please-any-donut-will-do way. see? it’s all ok. i would never sell cuttlefish after what they did to poor bindy’s dad the elephant hunter. jack london is one of my favorit authors, Dan what do you think? friday friday friday homies. friday. and pres day is monday. and it’s warm as hell here! sorry mid-westerners!
huddle around your hearth cold homies it’s only a few months to spring!
your friend,
cal
wow, cal… your “give me a donut and understand i really don’t care which one by my vague point towards your display of a wide variety of donuts” equates to “i-am-easy-to-please”?
first off, this lady gets paid to work. after the request you’ve given her she has no choice but to confirm your order. this is more work for her, and slows down the system. just so you know, i was in line behind you, and i love donuts, eat them all the time, and know EXACTLY what i want, but now i’m stuck in line while you donut TOURISTS fucking dink around and assume some lady to works all day to provide this stunning selection is now trivialized to “you know all that work you did creating all this diversity? it means jack shit to me. i also believe it means jack shit to such a high percentage of your clientelle that i will ignore it’s existance and tell the truth that “i just want a donut”. i mean jesus. what else can she do except verify your insult? “any donut will do?”
cal, you are a dick.
did that dude look happy when that alarm went off in the middle of the night and it was time to make the donuts?!
do you think if he didn’t have to make such a complex variety including many cream and jelly filled varieties that he could have slept in a little more?
do you think he would have liked to sleep in a little more?
fucking cal. cal is why eroz only gets 5 hours.
overcast here today so it’s a wicked chilly 62! 74 and sunny tomorrow though. 78 on sunday. what a shitty weekend. no ice at all.
Best thing Buck ever did was pull a sled to win his owner that 1000$ bet. I often wish Parker could so something like that for me.
Naw. Best thing Buck ever did was kill that moose.
No wait… best thing Buck ever did was kill a dude, go on trial and have all charges dropped. WITHOUT A LAWYER!!!!!!!!!!!
it’s true it’s true!
i am ashamed. i walk around a the donut shop all rudeetooshoes oh and what is it you sell here? hmmmm i suppose i’ll try one
you are right i am a donut tourist. it’s just… there are so many… i am paralized by choice. i am sham, a fake, a loser. i am sorry.
You are forgiven. It was an honest mistake. Coulda happened to anyone (except Eroz).
haha cal, double served. the dog didn’t even fucking need you!
Sweet sweet fantasy baby (ODB) sweet sweet fantasy baby!
cardplayer just confirmed ODB’s new poker site
shit!
5…4…3…2…1!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! it’s time to turn that page
put your pennies into stacks and calculate that wage
HA! perhaps in the stone age!
today’s tax law you’ll be countin for 4 days!
so what you git?
TURRRRRRRRBO TAX!
now what you need?
TURRRRRRRRRBO TAX!
so what you git?
TURRRRRRRRRRRRBO TAX!
all you mother fuckin ho’s need some turbo tax…..
UH.
“when it comes to preparin taxes, there’s no one better
with turbo tax they guarantee your biggest refund ever”
i can’t compete with that.
Ever heard the band called Basement Jax?
It doesn’t even matter: Turbo Tax!
You like Vanilla Ice better than Vanilla Max?
It doesn’t even matter: Turbo Tax!
I’ve heard of Vanilla Ice but who’s Vanilla Max?
It doesn’t even matter: Turbo Tax
Why don’t you call me by phone? no phone? fax!
It doesn’t even matter: Turbo Tax
What would the plural be of quack? is it quacks?
It doesn’t even matter: Turbo Tax
booyaka! i think we have a winner.
am i right people?
you’re singin it in your head still huh… it doesn’t even matter… daa daa da da daa daa…
TURBO TAX!!!
It dosen’t even matter!!!!!!
You might want to try a dis track. Just come out guns blazin on H&R Block and smoes who do their own taxes.
Actually, that’s a pretty good idea.
what mr turbo tax doesn’t understand is that they don’t “guarantee your biggest refund ever”… so there is no way their lawyers will let you win, and if you change up that first line you ruin it. mr turbo tax wasted his time. cal, your song was exactly what i feel the judges are looking for! GREAT WORK!
oh, don’t worry, i’m already working on the dis aspect in my real submission… except i end the punch with “H&R WHO?!” just because i’m smarter than mr turbo tax… he displays no corporate law experience with his logically false claims. i wonder if he has a favorite donut?
however.. he didn’t say that turbo tax specifically makes that claim… he simples says WITH turbo tax THEY guarantee.
the legal/grammar question is WHO are THEY.
what do you think, cal… is there a case here?
moderated. shit.
there’s a girl over there
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
with long blonde hair
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
i took her to the place
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
threw the mattress in her face
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
took off her shirt
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
took off her bra
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
took off her pants
tur-tur tur-turbo tax
you know what i saw
TURBO TAX!
oh, and if you got 15s in the trunk, everyone knows you gotta start that one 6 minutes and some change in. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
i got the jammy but i don’t got the permit… cal, THATS YOU!
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO BROOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK………CAL!
Ghost Face Killah going down!!!!!!!
I wonder if homie ever heard the saying “a day late and a skrillion dollars short.” I mean, as far as picking the right time to get into the internet poker game, he picked the worst ever.
He’s so gonna owe me a hundred bucks.
If youre at his table, tell him about the Turbo Tax contest.
right about now i’d like to dedicate a song out to my main hommie Madd Skeez. doris the finkasauras hahahahhaha… i ride around town cause my ride is fly i shot a man in brooklyn… TURBO TAX! get get get on the mic- just get on the mic -just get on the mic – get on the mic madd! let’s be real and don’t cloud the issue, the rhymes are dope an MC you must listen to. people say that they been missin me an missin you? get on the mic and let’s show them like we used to: TURBO TAX! yo holmes TURBO TAX! i’m the king ad-wham and you’re dick Butkus! not fat mort jelly roll! Turbo Tax!
kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkklynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! TURBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
here’s another one for ya’ll to peep it’s called M-A-D-D on the M-I-C. TURBO TAX!
now here we go droppin turbo tax all over, like bummin around the town in cal’s old range rover, 6 disc changer turns over and i pop the pc cd into the holder. my speakers start blastin out the hottness, cal gets nervous screamin STOP THIS! i say why, and he looks me in the eye.
says, “INTUIT’S TOO FUCKING TITE!”
we share a laugh now a nod, i push the track up
volumn nob gets a bump, now the trunk starts to thump
so SHAKE.
YOUR.
RUMP-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
TURBO TAX!
coulda done the one oh four oh EZ
instead 2 twinkies go me this little cd
filled out my name and address
and you can’t deny it
i couldn’t just fill it out- i had nothing to write with
but toner comes cheap in this land we in
so e-file your return like you retire-in
mark me down as a dependant if you want that dough
just cut it 60:40 or when they ask i blow
i say NO… so ask again which defendant i know
it’s a show, and intuit runnin the box
you can’t block what H&R don’t got
so don’t box when your gloves don’t even knot
cause turbo tax will fuck your ass up
calculations are guaranteed 100% correct.
word is bond.
booooooooo. no new cal raps. 82 degrees! 8 over forcast. booooooo weatherman. what with all your flash weather graphics… I JUST WANT THE IMMEDIATE WEATHER FORCAST FOR THE NEXT DAY OR SO AND MAYBE THE UPCOMING WEEKEND AND YOU TRY AND GIVE ME AN ECLAIRE FILLED WITH CUSTARD?!#%^()*!&#)(#*TURBOTAX
Juan_Z from Tijuana is one of 34 players registered for the GFK $1000 freeroll.
I really want to do this! anyone else???? I am trying to convince my husband.
http://www.sandiegomudrun.com/index.html
Holy shit! One of the dudes registered for the freeroll is named cal&greg.
you are LYING!
So what. You lied about the ODB site.
bah.. that’s me.
cal&greg should play. They’d take out GFK for sure.
i have my own personal turbo tax program called mr. and mr. o’neils. tom and aaron , that is. and they bring me only bad news so, damn those turbo taxers! and damn you moneypenny and your damned quickbooks–its reports are the source of the bad news.
i hope the feds are reading this. damn you all!
fuck moneypenny
turbotax, you ain’t selfish. get on the mic, cause you know you eat shellfish.
Cal RU and Greg ready to go? Madddddddd? I know that Juan_Z is ready. Ghost Face Freerole baby.
New idea for turbo tax rap: a long extended metaphor. Turbo Tax is the pimp. The IRS it the ho.
quick taxes? cop the advantage and go turbo!
this tax software is in control of these pros
now don’t think twice about the flow in my prose
i’m talkin TAXES, not the streets where the macks is,
1 infinity loop and you’ll find where the macs is
so max that refund like the box guy jack did (note: required partnership with jack in the box corporate required)
or end up dead like nichole’s ann did
cause prostitution isn’t an answer, ladies.
TURBO TAX!
i never signed up for GFK’s site… when is that turbo? he’s just an affiliate for a partner site of the same network that betonbet joined after pokerroom shut them out for giving rakeback, and if you remember, that network SUUUUUUCKED, so i just didn’t bother… but if you’re in that freerole, i will get in.
HOLLLLLLLLLLLARIT
Im in the freerole… after that Im never playing there again. Ever. I’m just there to take out GFK, really.
Juan_Z from TJ. Thats me.
I’M VIP… GO FUCK YOURSELF… THATS ME!
I’m dumb. The freeroll is NEXT Sunday. Booooooooooooooo. I was ready to go today.
whazzmaster and fuddruckus do you guys have any wednesday night meetings? i’d like to swoop through and eat something and drink something in your respective presences. then, drink something else. then, patrol the streets and break up all the knife fights. then find the biggest hill and skateboard down that bitch. then, drink some more. probably need to eat again too. then OB and we catch a lobster by hand. then we sell it to skateboardin dude and tell him about the hill. new skateboardin friend in tow we hit up that underage bar 2 blocks down. convince 2 females to show their titties and send the pic to eroz’z camera phone. then laugh until we fall asleep somewhere. call eroz in the morning to make sure he eventually stopped crying, and then i gotta jet back to phoenix to tend to personal responsibilities…
Zach is in meetings all day and all night Wednesday. Like 8am-10pm. The only free time they have is Thursday night and that is even limited to dinnertime and location TBD.
The biggest hill is Laurel st. near the airport. Lobster by hand? Cake. But the underage bar is closed down and eroz didn’t pay his phone bill.
You’re more than welcome at my place but the trip is like 92% biz and 8% plez for the Nor Kal Krew. I have off wed and thr but work 10-6 on Friday.
Hey kids, wiggety wiggety wiggety, I stopped at home for 8 hours today as a waypoint. I ran a laundry slave shift for awhile, ate a gross Topper’s grinder, and tomorrow I’m flying out to San Diego. Seeya there, charlie niner.
Son of a bitch: you think you’re good at something and then you see this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUeCrHNk8-k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glW2_04PG6I
Good beyond words
But at the same time: Sean Q, set foot back in North America and I WILL END YOU.
Who is spinnin tonight? DJ go fuck yourself.
So weird: I know where all this is taking place.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5PKvyCB-xw
Sometimes I miss that place: 24 hour bars, lots of casini, mudd buggs, nutria, 300$ a month rent.
remember that insomniac episode where those dudes were in the back of the truck with that .22 rifle with the silencer plinking off nutria? i got that rifle! man… i would KILL to get that silencer they got. i mean, if you’re species can just take that utter domination and just keep coming back as a population undeterred… man… big ups nutria, because that rifle and that silencer… man. that is tough opposition. hard to beat that shit without a bigger gun AND the lack of fear to be witnessed using it. or did the city give YOU a silencer too? nope. shits is illegal. why?! people be dumb. it’s SO illegal that the state finds VERY public uses for them. stupid nutria hunters who get a silencer and i don’t. GO NUTRIA! RUN! FUCK THAT! RUN!
cal, what do you think about that dude? does he like his job? does he find honor in it? challenge? humor? dominance? sport? was he wronged by a nutria? gang wronged by MANY nutria? was he just the dude who had a silencer and we wont ask questions, so the job is yours? everyday… plink plink plink… human + truck + gun + driver = the best solution the city has to solve the problem it believes it has without believing to have caused any new problems that would even have the potential to counter the MENACE that is a fucking nutria. those things are fucking bad ass. they are like iraqis… just don’t know when to stop living when we decide they shouldn’t. fucking hippies.
cal, know what i hate? AA on a QJT board. omaha… omaha hi/lo… hold’em… doesn’t mater. limit, no limit, pot limit, betting pubes. i really hate AA on a QJT board.
wow, just came here to say that im coming back to america and theres talk of ending me. not sure what thats about. anyway, i arrive mpls march 1st and ill be unemployed and living with my parents so ill probably be up for a visit to madison/chicago. i hear there is a new bus from mpls to chicago that you can only book online so you get to avoid all the greyhound rif-raf. you still in cali wirkus?
Shit yeah I’m here til May. Where you flying out from? Here? You can crash at my place for a while. I’ll get you a bellman job and everything.
And I just want to end you in air hockey.
doyle’s room $400 ploiter cash game is WHOA. eleven zero zero to the roll like WHOA. trip to san D paid in fo’ like WHOA.
and then today they close up shop.
even doyle brunson can’t stand up to the man… even though the man is just a law bought by a corporation run by native peoples on lands the law has no jurisdiction over where their moral liberalism has no opposition to grow limitless and continue purchasing all the laws it needs. no one cares.
DID YOU HEAR?!#?!#%^? BRITNEY SHAVED HER HEAD!#%^!()*^ OH MY! PARENTS! USE THIS AS AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR CHILDREN… SEE KIDS… LOOK WHAT HAPPENED TO *HER*!!! HER HAIR IS EXTREMELY SHORT! JUST LIKE OH NO MINE! OH NO OH NO! DON’T YOU FUCKERS UNDERSTAND?!#^)(*&#!^ SHE IS B A L D BUZZED!@#(^&@#^ AND TATTOOOOOOOOOOOOOS?#^()*&#^@ BRITTNEY SPEARS’ES BROTHER ARI SPREARS IS GROWING HIS HAIR OUT NOW!@#^
it takes a second to wreck it. y’all need to chillllllllllllll. TURBO TAX!
you know the best thing about communism? once society decides it needs something, then even if it doesn’t, then there is always work for all of us to do! lick by ass bill frist.
cal, go to san diego on wednesday. we’ll go donut shopping and i’ll tell you everything i know. the world of donuts is really quite amazing.
lesson 1: no coconut
there simply isn’t room. people will argue. people will say you’re wrong… that you’re different. they will say things like “coconut is good”. you must ignore them. this lesson is most important. i want to hear you say it…. no coconut… then we can move forward.
everyone does realize that the government is currently debating, and has only until march 16th, to decide if the US will break from the UN and declare their own laws must be followed or they have every right to follow jurisdiction as stated in the homeland security act to themselves act in violation of the constitution and do whatever they want to stop anyone from doing anything “they” don’t want you to do even if you aren’t anywhere near “their” country. america is declaring war on global banking. that is what is really going on. it’s fucking D.U.M.B. and billy frist knows it and his pussy ass is in hiding doing surgeries in africa to somehow “help US citizens”…. um… we’re over here bill. is there another reason you’re afraid to come back to america? any reason at all? fuck you bill frist. i hope one of your patients fucking wakes up in the middle of surgery, pulls out his liver and fucking whacks you with it. you fucking loser. bill frist what the fuck is wrong with you? you don’t want to help anyone other than yourself. stay in fucking africa. nobody wants you here.
bill frist: “…In fact, online casino websites have the potential to turn every personal computer in the country into a miniature version of the Las Vegas Strip.”
bill frist… your sensationalism is only flawed by logic. this is probably all part of your “run for the whitehouse” though… considering you are just “on sabbatical” from politics whatever the fuck that means. bill… you are UNEMPLOYED. don’t sugar coat it. you’re a fucking loooooooooooser. you are DONE. you know why you’re done. you know what you did. i bet part part of you is even proud you got it done. sort of tom cruise in that mission impossible, right? breaking every fundamental moral construct of US internation law is like the lasers in the airshaft… then getting out of the country is like having that dude help with your ropes… and the las vegas strip is like the computer, but you can’t sweat or else the strip will turn red and that means IT’S PARTY TIME!
fuck you bill frist. i HATE you.
online gambling hurts families…. indian gaming… well… we don’t know anything about indian gaming because the reservations are their land and they can do whatever they want. but i’m sure they wouldn’t do anything that hurts families… i mean if they did, then why would families keep going to them? i’m not really sure how, but it’s not the same online… because you never leave your family when you’re online, or take them anywhere, so breaks them. because… ummmm…. what did harrahs tell me again? i know they had an answer here… hmmmmm… i’m a surgeon… i cut people… i’m bill frist… i should know this… i wouldn’t just take 20 mil and make claims i knew to be false. lets see… well… people work at the casino! so that is wages, and families like wages. i’m sure there are no wages online or jobs or people depending on income from these economic systems… there is only loss… all i see is loss… but indian gaming is more spiritual. they are more in touch with nature, you know… and harrahs did give me 20 mil… that shows they are generous! if they are giving me 20 mil, then that means they took the 20 mil from families… so if i get 20 mil, they must be giving like 30 mil back to the families. i mean, they would have to… so lets see… all i have to do is attach this little paragraph with 5 minutes left in session and it goes to the president who has to sign, and it’s done. OK… sounds good. i don’t see a downside here. i’m in. yes yes, thanks chief tendeckshoe… yes… ok, and i’ll fax over my political action committee account numbers and swiss numbers in the morning. thanks again. tell dealswithfury and featherhumper i’ll see them next time i’m in town… awwwwwwwwwwlrighty… yeah, great doing business with you too. we’re really helping families.
i hope you accidentally slice a dick off with your 10 blade and impregnate your stomache while choking on it.
grrrrrrrrr. fucking bill frist.
and jon from arizona, don’t think i don’t know about you. you’re already done though. who the fuck are you anyways? man you’re dumb. might as well get bill to euthenize you over in africa… they don’t even have laws about it over there. i wonder if that’s why he spends so much time……..
HOW DO I GET MY COMPUTER TO TURN INTO THE LAS VEGAS STRIP?! PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT POWERS THIS POTENTIAL. I WANT IT. I WANT MY COMPUTER TO TRANSFORM INTO THE LAS VEGAS STRIP.
the las vegas strip is LEGAL. the las vegas strip is part of AMERICA. BILL FRIST IS ANTI-AMERICAN. he isn’t even IN america. i am so fucking pissed.
fucking jon kyl… $14,000,000 spent campaigning for the seat. $14,000,000 spent telling people why they should vote for him, when everyone can already determine that for themselves for free. it’s a fucking JOKE. the system is BROKEN.
i want a job moving a large pane of glass back and forth across a busy street while my coworkers stack and re-stack chickens and watermelons. that’ll show those REDS!
lesson 2: don’t pitch the bitch.
it’s nothing but headaches. you give a woman a donut and you’ll spend the whole next day looking at a whalish beastly shell barely resembling it’s old pre-donut state while listening to it complain like your eyes don’t already hurt enough. don’t pitch the bitch, cal. donuts are a man thing. yes that does relate back to the coconuts… your rate of understanding is impressive. i’ll have you on crullers by lesson 8.
lesson 8 teaser: crullers
part a: pronounciations
part b: unique origins and classification issues
part c: dunkable, AND HOW!
bill frist: “…In fact, online casino websites have the potential to turn every personal computer in the country into a miniature version of the Las Vegas Strip.”
what about personal computers not connected to the internet? what about personal computers connected to the internet operated by humans that never direct them to visit the online casino websites? BILL FRIST… PLEASE explain to me these powers. i’m just a citizen that doesn’t know shit… that’s how it has to be, bill. i get that. i know from your high and mighty seat you know things others would pay not to know. PLEASE. explain to me how these sites have the potential “to turn every personal computer in the country into a miniature version of the Las Vegas Strip.” i would really like to know you greedy cock choking fuck. infested cunt face. i’m sick of this shit. lies and the lying liars. al! how can you stay so calm in a sea of so much hypocrisy?! is it because the public is generally retarded and you find yourself forced to cater to them to achieve your own personal ultimate goal(s)? fuck ALL that. you’re still my homie, though. i hope you win!
al, did you know that dunkin’ donuts corporate tried to discontinue the french cruller from it’s selection, but an angry mob organized to solidify it’s future on the menu?
i see hope, al.
oh, and that bill frist quote comes from his artiCAL in “Baptist Press”.
i guess i’m the asshole that expected to find truth in something that is so oxymoronical as religious news.
THIS JUST IN! there is a god! he fed a lot of people with just 2 fish! he only sends baptists to heaven! cubs 7, mets 3! jesus hates poker! websites usurp divine powers transforming electonics into small scale cities!
i mean, what the fuck?
bill, shouldn’t you be more concerned with amazon.com’s potential to turn every computer into a gateway to knowledge inspired by the devil in direct violation of biblical teachings?!… i mean, isn’t that worse for families? should jeff bezos be tried as a terrorist? how about just held with no charges or court date for an indefinate period of time? yeah, that sounds like what you want, right?
fucking religion. always breaking shit and not thinking. DUMB DUMB DUMB.
did you guys know that when bill frist was in medical school he would go to cat adoption centers and pretend to adopt the cats as pets, but just take them back to medical school and practice his surgical skills on them, killing them in the process? NO SHAME.
pretending our system is not in a complete state of failure is quite simply just one more lie. it really doesn’t matter if you’re already into that sort of thing…
BILL, how hard was it to lie to the cat adoption people? now, when you later publicly apologized… was that a lie too? what is the difference between lying bill, and not lying bill? does any of this have anything to do why you’re in africa? do africans not know that you lie? did you go down there with angelina jolie promising to adopt some little africans, but you’re really going to practice your cuttin’ again? bill bill bill i hate you bill i hate you i hate bill frist i hate him i hate him i hate him. fucking liar. him and oprah both getting rich living in america lying to americans so they can take all that money to africa and set up shop and retire with 1000s of poor locals to serve as your cruller chefs. it’s a fucking joke.
co co nut?
gooooooooooooooooooood. a little faster now.
john lefebvre and steve lawrence, 2 of the original founders of neteller, and canadian citizens who retired to costa rica in 2005 have both by detained by US authorities since january 15th with no charges brought against them.
this is the world we live in. this is real. no one cares.
all they did was run a website. perfectly legal. they broke no canadian law, nor did they break any isle of man law where their servers are. they are publically traded, paid their taxes and employed over 1000 people.
the US just scooped them up. why isn’t canada and the isle of man making noise about their citizens being unjustly detained? why isn’t canada bombing the fuck out of us? they have every obligation to do so. our government is OUT. OF. CONTROL.
hurry, al. hurry. don’t let them get you next. i thought stuart saves his family was funny!
Hey Sizzler: gimme a cal.
Pleasure cal wants; protection madd trusts.
the timing on your condom humor is sadly appropriate.
wwhazz: i didn’t get home from the tent until 5am… figured you were dreaming with parker about some bottomless chuck-e-cheese ball pit so i didn’t call. let me know if i should be coming or not. some kind people just gave me their money so i’m gold.
more coincidental than sad, actually. things could be worse.
bla bla bla whazz! Steppenwolf is strange. I mean I like don’t really get it. Dooonnnnt reeeeeeealllly getttt ittttt. Co co nut? Co co nut? Co co nut? No no Nutella? But don’t spoil if you read it I’m nearly done. It’s weird. And no chapters just goes on and on and on and on what’s up with that? Chapters provide good stopping points. But here there are no stopping points maybe is it a metaphor for life? No stop just gooooogoogogogoogogogogogogogoogogogogo. So the book: I was hoping to love this one but at the moment I’m like bof. Know what I’m sayin big j? I learned that from big j. French people say it. It means “yeah whatever” Ok ok ok madd I’m sorry your friends are in jail. That’s no good. Oh lily allen, play it again. Ok ok I can’t stop listening to her album. Over and over. I think it is making me crazy. I’m going to have to stop. Oh one more thing FITZCARRALDO is fantastic.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fitzcarraldo
Seriously it’s like the mcteague of the movies.
To recap:
1) Steppenwolf = ?
2) Jail = :
oh man my recap got CUT OFF what’s up? here is anotehr recap:
To recap again:
1) Steppenwolf = ?
2) Jail = :
what is up.
1) Steppenwolf = ?
2) Jail = :
3) lily allen = heart
4) fitzcarraldo = No matter if I would talk to you three weeks steadily could I possibly describe even to a small degree the coolness of this sincere work.
Rumthumb back me up- fitzcarraldo huh. Lily allen huh.
man. jail is supposed to have a frowning face next to it. i’m tired of the internet today. jail = frowning face! frowning face!
Here’s a breakdown:
I work 3-11 tonight, have off on Thrs, work on Friday morning.
Belly works tonight, off Thrs, works friday night.
Zach works 8am-8pm tonight (I’m guessing he’s snoring by 11pm), 9am-1pm Thrs, flys out on Friday morning.
The Jacobi are free 1pm-7pm or so thrs then they bounce to LA.
Ivan is MIA.
Parker is still in bed.
The Palomar is open 9am-2pm.
no, no, no 9am-2am.
But if you’re in the mood, rust roll ron rup.
Hey cal,
4nyay and Gonzo want to play Dinger league again. They were wondering if you want to use this instead of yahoo. How much longer b4 the draft? Dont let brian play.
http://games.espn.go.com/flb/welcome
maybe, i’ll check it out. i got crazy gonzo’s email and the good doc too. word is born.
It looks good, but I like yahoo because of the following:
1. I hate change.
2. Our cool cool cla avatars.
3. The trophy case (though them fools wouldn’t know bout that.
What’s your fav lily allen song? The one where all them doodes keep asking for her phone number? It’s funny cuz it’s true, right? Or the one where her lil brother keeps smoking reefer? You should sing that one to madd. I like the one where she has to ride her bike all day cuz the man took away her driving lic.
yeah yeah! all of them! oh dude, good call about the avatars… i can’t lose my avatar! and the trophy case! i’ve been a trophy collector since 2003! gotta keep the streak. hey speaking of streaking we should play BEAT THE STREAK again. that sucked but i will do it again. i think my fav is the bike one too. “i believe that is called alfresco.” brilliant! she’s here april 2. but i don’t think i can go- it’ll be millions of 11 year old girls. and me. the 12evers would laugh at me and say i’m not cool. but but bububuububuttut. bof.
i like the one about her granma too.
hfdlkjfdslpjfdsl;
dead hello people wake up.
ualkfhdalfjdsaljfa;dsl
sun is in the sky ohwhyohwhy
i was thinking about wazzmaster.com being like a ouija board but for living people… you can contact the LIVING hahahahahah. like DANIEL HINKEL. just type somebodies name in and eventually they’ll show up… LILY ALLEN LILLY ALLEN LILLY ALLEN! well maybe not… they prob have to be non-famous… spoooooky… contact the non-famous living… who should we contact? i don’t know anybody who isn’t famous and already all googled out so forget it. jk people! jk!
how about i just randomly pick some stranger and see if they show up. but how to randomly pick? ok i got somebody:
Blair Ruhling
in 2006 Blair finished the Boston Marathon in 3:32 pretty good!
to find Blair i randomly plugged a four digit number (4324) into the “Bib Number” on the Boston Marathon Results site and up came my man Blair. so using the ouija board for the non-famous living this shout goes out to
BLAIR RUHLING
Hi Blair Ruhling from Holtsville NY! What’s up!
gotta do something for all you borings out there.
lily allen lily allen lily allen!
ummm… madd scientist!
dying of boredom today peeps, you’re so not there for me.
cal, i’m off to consume your recommended medias! hey blair! wanna rock out to steppenwolfe with me?
bah. all the friday morning responsibilities are really souring my view of thursday’s potential. instead i’ll just stay here and slander michael konik. michael konik SUCKS. he knows NOTHING about poker, am i right blair?! this dude got a degree in DRAMA from new york university… that is all he is. BOTTLED, RESEARCHED, SYNTHETIC, artificial drama. it’s ANNOYING. it’s INSULTING. if you ever find a friend captivated by michael konik, HIT THEM. BLAIR! HIT THEM!
seriously! FITZCARRALDO! good work skeez CONSUME! i’m sure Professor William Dooley from the department of art at the University of Alabama would agree!
Cal- wwhazz only knows about lilly allen cause i taught him. i found her first and i heart her as well.
in other news i am also in your boat waiting on schools to decide our fate. i officially submitted my application for graduation to the UW Madison Master’s of Science in Nursing: Women’s Health Program today. Now it is time to wait and cross my fingers and Parker’s Dick.
good for you. dude would be lost w/o us. it’s nearly five THANK GOD. what a week. not even lily allen can save a week like this.
we can’t go to my house because it’s on fire… nice.
guitar hero is funny!
whats the deal with scotch and water in the freezer?! it’s sprouts a little mushroom factory!
does whatever make this happen also make the experience of drinking it so unique?
any glen.
cal, i really like your experiment and fundamental understanding about what the ability to universally broadcast actually means to society.
now we just have to figure out if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, and what better way than just start trying shit and see what happens? sounds fun!
i’m off to the casino, hope to hear from you soon blair! wow… 3 hours, 30 minutes… dude, you are INSANE!
blair, if you are ever at casino arizona (the old tent location, not the new resort) you have to get the shrimp fried rice! dude. like 30+ shrimp and the aren’t the shitty frozen baby ones either… like good good shrimp. and 2 small drinks and some spicy sauce and a fortune cookie and all the soy and salt and pepper and napkins you WANT for just $6. and they serve it to you at the table while you’re playing cards. blair. it is AWE. 3 hours… man… you’re a hero. SOME.
peace, hate, and germinate. just like yeast homie. JUST. LIKE. YEAST. BLAIR!
fuck everything.
good morning! alas, no word from any of our experimental friends. same with big j. she just asks questions and bolts. hey speaking of boalt (Berkeley’s law school) i did not apply there but did apply to USF and unfortunately… can you guess what’s coming friends? Yes, that’s right, I walked into my house yesterday evening to find a curiously thin envelop awaiting me.
What a pain no? February is the worst month! Anyway dear friends, don’t worry about me I can take it! Two down, three out still. There is a very good chance I will get into no school at all. Ha. How do you like that?
Dude. Just become someone’s houseboy. Yu live in SF. Apply to three rich old flammers and I gurantitty you get in to at least two. You clean real good and really rock the tidy whities.
yeah, cal. stop trying. how many people have to say no before you get the hint? RICH. OLD. FLAMMERS.
They will take very good care of you.
It’s tighty whites like tight. with a T.
what… did you learn that in law school? oh, yeah… right. no.
you…
love
and so quickly conflicts are resolved. if only the bill of rights had a jinx clause.
do you really wear white briefs? cool.
whazzmaster.com: TORT!
cal, ever seen L4yer Cake?
cal, monkeys are making weapons now to hunt. do we have a moral responsibility as children of our god, lord and savior Jesus Christ, to stop these possessed organisms from doing the devil’s bidding? we aren’t monkeys, cal. our ability to organize law PROVES that. the monkeys must die. cal. cal. kill monkeys cal. they’ll TAKE CARE OF YOU.
cal, sometimes when i’m super drunk i blast techno and make up songs, and yesterday i made a fucking GEM!
the title:
“where’s greg? on the dance floor.”
seriously… it was good. where’s greg? have you seen him? no. i thought he was with you? i see him! he’s up there! where? up there! GREG! GREG!
GREG’S ON THE DANCE FLOOR!
here is the beat
mind bending
sorry about that
cal, did you apply to hamline law so you can go back to our hood? a good friend of aaron and i went there and loved it. lots of TA opportunites.
in other school news…belly, good luck on the application game! looking forward to hearing about pelvic exams and abnormal paps when you move back here.
no i blew it i only applied to CA schools. plus the weather is terrible there.
“where’s greg? on the dance floor.”
It starts out in a woman’s voice, but as the song goes on it gets more and more robotic.
Ivans dance partner is back from Mexico. We ride at dawn.
Alert!
check out her “books” section.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=9713738
er. her “heroes” joke is a little disconcerting.
what if hitler only put the jews in lockdown and never killed them. would the joke be less disconcerting?
what the christ are doing searching myspace for anyways?! looking for rich old flammers?
cal, be james hurst’s houseboy!
are you trying to date this tofu girl? she doesn’t even have any friends. how sad. also, no clubs.
boo hoo. cal, she NEEDS you.
i was looking for Mcteague refrences on myspace… i have to amuse myself somehow whazzmaster is such a bore these days. 24 refrences! Mcteague moves to the information age.
*except* for your techno music, i quite enjoyed that.
did you try to sing along? where’s greg? where’s greg? i haven’t seen him. greg. where’s greg? THERE HE IS! where? greg? where’s greg?
ON THE DANCE FLOOR! it’s fun.
so cal, how about those dems? 107 days in office… illegal war still going on… facist homeland security department still empowered… patriot act still law… port act still fraudulated… great work, eh?
so all these reasons they campaign why they deserve control, but once they get it, they don’t do anything about it, they just go open their community centers or whatever the fuck else democrats do.
NADER!
you’re crazy they’ve been getting things done man! min wage and school loans and more. cleaning house. lousy republicans. USELESS.
raising the minimum wage is a giant blow to the economy. larger and easier to get school loans only encourage educational facilities to lower their standards. congressional house boys already dusted, and not all republicans find themselves with lous. YOU are crazy.
i can’t visit ivan without being stopped *3* times by dogs and men with guns checking my car for mexicans that just want to work in this land that requires everyone to be richer than their fair share by LAW. if the minimum wage was $50 an hour, think about how that would change things. now please understand how making it $8 or whatever it is now does the exact same thing. BRO. KEN. how about everyone gets diamond chariots and 6 mules? MINIMUM! so kind of those dems to help anyone who chooses to dig themselves a pile of debt. i mean, why should you put off school for a few years and save up tuition money when someone is kind enough to trust that you’ll get that great job after graduation and pay them back? surely very few people will take advantage of this new program leaving the job market just as prime as you currently perceive it. i want to be an astronaut, can i borrow $10?
honey, i made $3,000 today! SWEET! here’s 2 100s… go get some eggs and milk.
1. cal is on my space; try to find him
2. i’m in an airport bar
3. one of cal’s ‘friends’ is a girl he dated in high school. her comment: “Hey Zack- I’m so glad you found me – you are still as cute as I remember you in high school. Still out in San Fran, huh? Hope it’s going good and you are loving whatever you are doing!”
4. myspace, even with cal’s addition, i still the shittiest of the shitty web designs i have ever encountered. period.
5. fooferaw!
i made three g;s today, possibly in a sleazy way.
the shitty web design was on purpose to inflate usage statistics. i got about half done on maddpower before i realized it’s pretty much the same as raising the minimum wage. it only make’s people like cal happier and that CAN’T be good.
cal, you’re old ‘friend’ seems extremely kind! whats the deal with that huh… like… still in san fran… HUH?! HUH?! huh, what? what is that supposed to mean?! HUH?! like gee, i wish you weren’t there. HUH! HUH I WISH YOU WERENT THERE! WHERE IS GREG?! YOU SHOULD BE WITH HIM, HUH? not good enough to just like what you’re doing, huh?! cal’s fucking friends. probably republicans.
yeah! i found cal! still unsure about where greg is. oh right. dance floor.
did anyone see the most recent dennis miller stand up special?
is he serious? i think he’s catering to a perceived majority exploiting comedic reverse psychology… but i’m not sure.
i mean, he even did the “make the mexicans build the wall, then kick them out” joke that carlos mencia took heat for “stealing” from ari whatever. it was just boring and dumb. even his odd references weren’t that odd. if anything, they were obvious. obb. sorta like odd, but backwards, huh?
can i suck your balls? SYKE!