Major League Baseball is without a doubt only a step removed from the WWE in terms of treating their paying customers like mongrel idiots who don’t deserve to be there. Case in point: MLB.TV, their sorry fucking excuse for an online “Audio & Video” offering.
So, what’s the problem? Let me see if I can explain simply. MLB.TV has this whole thing about blackout areas. So if I live in Madison and the Brewers are playing on the local FSN, you can’t watch it online (though you could probably do some shenanigans with your IP). I understand that; fine. However, what I just learned after waiting on hold for 45 minutes is that the area is blacked out during the game even if the broadcaster declines to actually show the fucking game. So the Brewers are playing, someone somewhere is taping that game, but the local FSN is more interested in showing some bullshit Bucks Live bullshit as if I fucking care about the NBA (now THERE’S a league that hates its fans). And when I said to the customer service guy, “I know this isn’t your fault, personally, but it just reflects badly on the MLB that I paid money, and I have NO way of watching the game.” His response: “Sir, it’s not the MLB’s fault if the broadcaster won’t play the game they have the contract for.” That’s when I was livid: are you telling me the MLB couldn’t get any better terms out of its broadcaster agreement? The fucking company that SHUT BASEBALL THE FUCK DOWN for a season because one incredibly rich set of peoples’ lawyers couldn’t play nice with another incredibly rich set of peoples’ lawyers? And you’re telling me, “boo hoo, those big bad broadcasters can do whatever they want!”
Eat shit and die, MLB. A “contract” is a piece of paper that defines “terms”. If you really cared about your fans and not about how much that new matching gold-plated dildo and cock-ring set was, you would tell the broadcasters: “you get exclusive blackout rights in the home area, but if you don’t actually, you know, show the fucking game, we get to show it online.”
But alas, poor widdle MLB can’t stand up to dose big, bad broadcasting companies. I mean, what if they balked? No one, but no one would agree to terns like that! Showing the game online if the broadcaster refuses to show it live to the home area fans?! That’s fucking kwazy talk!
Again, fuck you MLB. I hate your fucking guts.
And one more time for good measure: MLB.TV is a waste of your money. Do not buy it, or if you do, do what the MLB CUSTOMER SERVICE REP TOLD ME: “You should read the fine print carefully before every purchase.” Thanks champ, I’ll make sure to have a lawyer on retainer the next time I go to Noah’s Ark to make sure the company isn’t screwing me up the ass. Fuck you Major League Baseball, just fuck you.
wow, ok we won’t get MLB TV. i promise!
Fucking MLB
News flash: Brewers Lost
i feel you on that one…the worst days come when FOX eats up the rights to every fucking game on saturdays. the big problem with that is that when the yanks are the day game feature, i get mutha fuckin power rangers since it the babie’s time to watch tv on the west coast. fuck that. also, sometimes they do it regionally for nite games. i.e. west coast won’t play east coast games, but they’re still blacked out. i even get problems in korea…they blackout those games since everybody in korea speaks korean or japanese & can watch tv (not true). on the rare occasion i get the yankees on the japanese channel during blackouts. that’s swell…i’m glad i’m fluent in japanese while living in kroea and paying for tv in usa. fuck everybody.
but i still got mlb.tv premium (quality is better than regular) for the 3rd year. they’ve raped my ass for years & i need a butt plug now
the archived games are good if you stay away from news for about 12 hours & then start that shit. so when the yanks play a day game, i wake up & start their archived game.
btw…their complaint department blows. i’ve also contacted fox & cussed them out for playing power rangers when i was living in san joser. there’s nothing worse than waking up early on saturday after getting super shitfaced the nite before and expecting to see yanks/red sox, have a beer, but instead getting unwanted gayness.
yanks/red sox and unwanted gayness are mutually exclusive?
ZING!
Warning: I will be drinking 3 or more cups of coffee this morning. Ahoy matey, a blogstorm on the horizon.
Everyone silently cheer on the Brewers starting at 7pm (six central) tonight. Let’s win this series against Florida.
Streaks on the china,
never mattered before,
WHO CARES!
When you dropped kicked your jacket
As you came through the door,
NO ONE GLARED!
But sometimes things get turned around
And no one’s spared.
All hands look out below T
here’s a change in the status quo.
Gonna need all the help that we can get.
According to our new arrival
Life is more than mere survival
We just might live the good life yet.
Kick that mother fucking trombone. Jesus H Christ BLOW MAN BLOW!!!!!!!!!
when state sales tax goes directly to fund private enterprise with no relief other than the continued existance of that private enterprise we are already throwing control out the window. blackout policies in general are a slap in the face and another pointless show of power.
i agree with w-whazz…. someone needs to rape mr belvedere so mlb understands our collective power. the louder he squeels, the fewer games will be blacked out. it’s called pysics.
physics…………………..whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhooooops
life IS mere survival. black THAT out. mother fucker comes in my door drop kicking fucking ANYTHING and i’m glaring like a mother fucker.
Mr. Belvy was British, and it was insinuated through doctored photographs that he conferred with Winston Churchill. FRAUD!
I have my very first final pre-trial tomorrow. I’m planning on kicking ass, taking names, and submitting my motions.
It’s a domestic violence case. I’m a big, bad monster … also known as: Justice.
Some pictures from “A Very Moneypenny Easter” are online at Flickr.
good luck getting the dude off, J… snitching bitches need a good dose of JUSTICE! STAY UP!
holy crap, you had easter in goldy gold land!
this link is for cal. i think he’ll appreciate the comedy
nah. couldn’t watch it. dude’s voice…
that didn’t work.
fine. here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFHpeoTbYuU
Dudes, what the fuck magazine put Mr. Belvy on the cover. “BEST BUTLER EVER!” Issue of Seventeen, perhaps? The Sun? The Moon? CAL!
i agree it starts out super super weak, but it’s all the bit. it gets better, and the voice grows in confidence as it goes, then a philosophical break down and then misunderstood drive. the process of the insane.
Don’t dropkick my fuckin’ jacket. Besides Cal, this version is better. Dude is having tea with Ghandi. No way.
I like it when dude says, “Do I feel ashamed of myself? Definitely. Am I doing satan’s work? Yes.”
the magazine is “WORLD FOCUS”, which appears to be a “TIME” rip-off.
i bet belvs got all kinds of pussy
Do the Belvedere people know they named their vodka after a man who was photoshopped into pictures with historical figures? Or was that how they figured they’d get famous themselves?
FIRST!
Love.love.love.love
this is cool! CL Smooth!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWdDD65iIKg
I find it utterly crazy that MLB.tv is so far behind. My buddy watches NBA and I could care less about basketball but they had that fucking mosaic thing last season and it works flawlessy. It doesn’t spend 75% of the time buffering and the quality is better than the MLB broadcast in my opinion…even the premium one. He also gets that for free when he gets the NBA league pass from his cable company. MLB gives baseball fans a hand asking for more money.
wow…. i remember that stupid old ad… and i didn’t even remember that i remembered it.
they are still shitty. i could do a sprite commercial rap 80 times better.
guaranteed.
gonzo! leader of the Dinger League!
this is for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rROzy09AZPk&mode=related&search=
First Things First Obey Your Thirst
Sprite alright.
i think they should stop allowing bats in baseball… i mean…. it’s baseball. bases. balls… both obvious. who was the fucking pussy ass first hitter to be so fucking scared that he needed a bat to hit the ball with? it’s not batbaseball. last i checked at least. in fact… IN FACT it was still just BASE. BALL.
hit that shit with your forearm, LIKE A MAN WOULD, and then maybe i’ll kick you a few bucks.
fucking pussys.
cal said “sprite alright”
AWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLRIGHT!
broken arm bouncer up the middle… and that’s going to end the inning. 3 up, 3 down here in the 7th. are you planning a backyard barbaque? be sure to stock up on delicious usingers sausages. remember, with usingers sausages picnics are always that much better. due up in the 8th we have metzger, blaine and big pat johnson. and now 10 seconds for station identification.
YOU’RE READING WHAZZMASTER MOTHER FUCKER!
the great field crew here in cleveland has most of that arm cleaned up. replacing gilbert on first will be rookie infielder josh yearling. strong forearms on this fresh face out of kansas city, missouri
yo yo yo
i drink sprite
i put it to my face
then i grab another can out the case
and put it to my face
from my hand
sprite is the plan
to drink it
in my face
sprite. alright?
i saved the pop tops from my cans
and built a house that’s bigger than japan
filled with sprite
a pool? no. MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE
i hooked on sprite like a moth hooked to light
give me more or i’ll kill you
fucking run up and stick a twisted can in you
you’ll be coughin up aluminum like a recycling plant do
only for you, it won’t benefit… only destroy
your life. sprite.
who’s chipleader with 12 left in the $44 ploiter multi? your boy josh yearling knows
Dude, Alandovos came through. I’m able to watch the blacked-out Brewers games using Nerd Magic. TOR!
i’m sure you’re violating the terms of your usage contract. if you’re advocating breaking terms of contracts, then why do terms of contracts matter ever?
what if the mlb lawyers knew about the obvious flaws in the implementation and that their subscribers could trivially avoid the lockouts, so they smirkingly signed the contract from the broadcasters knowing it didn’t really matter?
and now you’re mad at them…
I prefer to think of MLB lawyers as completely unknowledgeable about the Interweb. They thought their IP-Address-To-Zip-Code alogorithm was bulletproof. But yeah, probably a terms of use issue there. Eff them.
it’s like a barbed wire fence that just ends… why build the fence?
hey cal, what are your thoughts on this dude?
i drink sprite like may sprouts flowers
drink for hours with don imus’ lawyers
i drink sprite not sprite-lite alright?
i drink sprite like gonzo in the dinger league
who’s trina? read mcteague!
gotta go catch a domestic flight. sprite!
what exactly did imus do? so far all i’ve heard is he said the team was nappy headed hos, and everything is on him for that because they say it’s racist.
i say that saying it’s racist is 1000 times more racist than just saying it. and i speak for all nappy headed white people when i say that.
sprite zero to face
exact same taste
sprite lite for nappy hos that didn’t like the name
a dis on cal
a pissed on pal
no reception in the canyon
do the dip set yell
AYYYYYYYYYYE! sprite
woman ain’t shit but hos and tricks
and a nappy head shows like a fire in the night
right? cause it’s started with sticks
and not that band with the x that cal loves to blast while him and greg are having…. flex…ing contests with their calfs
like… check out mine,
i’m drinkin a sprite.
and that’s word for the night
peace. i’m out. have a gelato fight
givin trina to mcteague as casually as i’d give away a pen to a stranger in the pen named lee
like please, don’t analy rape me and we can be friends like mohawks and mr t
sprite
and get this… going through those border checkpoints at midnight last night……… THEY DONT EVEN OPERATE THEN! NOT THAT ANYONE WOULD WANT TO CROSS THE BORDER OR SMUGGLE DRUGS AT NIGHT!
the government can’t even do the wrong thing right.
instead the border patrol cars just patrol the road cause it’s pretty much empty. at $3.59/gal that seems like a much better system than just sitting around bored making everyone stop for you to sling your cock in front of. then the border patrol monkeys feel productive like they’re getting something done. good job fellas! you fucking suck and i wish you drive off the mountains, you cunts. do something useful.
YOU ARE NOT STOPPING THE MEXICANS. YOU ARE NOT STOPPING THE DRUGS. STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE.
border patrol agents are federally sponsored super racists unleashed on society with a do whatever you want homeland security act backing up their animal instincts.
a smart society would work together to eliminate them and the hate they represent.
sprite
“Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”
then i shut the door, confiscate every tempest-auto, and send them all back to wherever they came from, because we are unable to function at current capacity and we have no problem admitting that in thunderous checkpoints and ridiculous talks of walls and policies.
these fucking politicians need to get checked hard and duddy is only 1 dog. america has a stupidity epidemic.
i’m just playing! i love it here! you don’t have to do anything constructive whatsoever and you can thrive!
GENIUS!
The New York Times has a nifty little flex app for determining whether buying or renting is a better idea at the moment: Check it out here. You may need to create a free user account at the Times if you don’t already have one. Or you could use a login from BugMeNot.
HA! That’s what the MLB lawyers get for thinking that nerds don’t watch bases ball!
Let’s Not Fight I Like Sprite
Stupid
What is stupid? A foot of snow in Madison? I agree.
4nyay: if you wanna know how to get around MLB’s bullshit I can help. Call or email if you’re interested.
when you wake up, that is.
from under the filipino hooker, that is
imus was a big pussy for appologizing…. i finally listened to that clip and it was a total progression that he just played along with. someone else said that they were a mean group of hos or bad ass hos or something like that, and i think someone said something about nappy heads before that, and playing along he takes the next step to agree with everyone else and says they are nappy headed hos.
now when i think of a mean person, i don’t think of long, flowing, soft, shiney cal hair… i think of kinked up, rough, dirty, badass, mean hair…. a nappy head if you will.
where are the womans rights advocates complaining about these girls that play basketball… and lets be honest… girls playing basketball is a joke in itself… but calling them hos… sorta mean, but what are they really? they don’t play in the main league against the best players… they started their own division and only let in other players they could compete against… this isn’t the game at it’s highest level. it’s a show. and showgirls are hos last time i checked.
nappy head implies no disrespect to any race. assuming it to be negative in a race neutral way is also incorrect. a tough nappy head of hair can do a lot of good. it’s solid protection. no one needs shiney soft hair… that shit is gay as hell. hook me up nappy style.
so what do we have? nappy headed hos playing a game on a level that means nothing. and then al sharpton decided that he was offended because he is a self hating black man that spends 80% of every day wishing his hair wasn’t nappy, even though that nappy head of his is 80% of his image. AL! it’s ok. nappy heads are cool. hos are cool. what is your fucking problem?
imus, you always sucked and you should have quit years ago. who listens to that mumbly ass show of yours anyways? i flip on the tv, and see the tv show of you doing your radio show (what the fuck is that lazy shit anyways) and i can’t even imagine the fucking shiney soft haired bitch that would subject themselves to your old man rumblings. fuck imus. fuck sharpton. fuck those nappy headed hos that couldn’t even win the championship in the lessor female division… i mean who the fuck cares about the uggo bitches that couldn’t even win?!
SERIOUSLY!
WHITE PEOPLE CAN HAVE NAPPY HEADS TOO, AL SHARPTON, YOU FUCKING RACIST.
OWNED.
i guess no one agrees. that makes me a racist.
Did you get to watch the Cleveland/Angels game? Or was that considered blacked out? Even though it wasn’t your team?
or does my nappy head somehow align me with the race al sharpton represents?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm………
that is fucking hairism and i will not stand for it.
I HAVE A DREAM.
in my dream timmah was spraying me with a fire extinguisher.
NAPPY HAIR! RUINED!
so glad there are other dudes that like zach braff too… really though, he’s good
R.I.P. Kurt Vonnegut. “Fates Worse Than Death,” read it. Seriously it’s good.
From the grave, GMX with shocking news.
timmah broke your site… impressive