Well, the weekend is over. And when all is said and done we incurred about 80,000 calories, a progressive music festival out side my window, an epic bocce ball tournament metldown, at least 84 cans of Miller High Life, two and a half bottles of scotch, a Brewers shit-pile, and one dog complaint by my “downstairs neighbors” (i.e., jerks). I hate to be nudge, but could we get this story started? I’m leaving to go camping in a few hours…
Wwhazz and parker got here on Friday afternoon. Timmer was already here on Thursday, so all of us (and o’neil) left at 4pm-ish to go to the Brewers game against the Minnesota (rrr!) Twins. We picked up whitehouse in Waukesha on the way in. We also did it durrty-style this time: parked in a neighborhood off Bluemound and hit the liquor store for Mini-Miller Lite 6 packs and boner beers (plastic bottles like the ones they use in the stadium). Then we went to a bar with a free shuttle, had a bottle of beer, and got down to Miller Park with about 15-20 to go before game time. After slamming 100 8 ox Miller Lite, we each put a boner beer down our pants and went to collect our Paul Molitor bobblehead. Oh yeah.
The game kinda sucked (Brewers Lost) but we had a good time with our obstructed-view seats in the right field (behind the foul pole). Our section was a batch of Milwaukee’s Finest salt-of-the-earth-folk mixed with yuppies with 18 kids or yuppies with skater0punk kids dressed in beige and dark green. I had a fine time sitting behind a 6- and 8-year-old screaming “fuckin brewers!” while sloshing my beer all over the place. The family came in the 4th inning and left in the 7th inning. I’m sure they had a fine time; I scavenged one of their leftover PB&J’s for later on.
We were about to start walking back to the bar area when Wwhazz sighted the Fiesta Garibaldia shuttle. We hopped on that thing and hit the party back at the bar. Free taco bar, free chips and salsa, two hot chicks dressed as slutty referees: they had it all. Lawman designated drove us back to Madison, where we passed out for the night.
Our only plan for Saturday was to cook up a homemade fish fry with the 15-20 bluegills, crappe, and perch that lawman caught on opening weekend . We had lunch at the Old Fashioned, and then decided to give the bocce court in my complex’s courtyard a test drive. Result: we will be starting a bocce league this summer. It was awesome, especially since so much booze was involved. The inaugural best-of-five series saw lawman and wwhazz coming back from a 10-1 deficit to stave off elimination, then to go on to win it while whazzmaster and timmer were 3/4 in the bag on scotch. I cannot stress how fun bocce at my house is.
So after that we reloaded our booze and took off for lawman’s pad to make our epic dinner. While lawman prepared the coating and got things ready, I was deep in the zone of potater-preparation. The idea: potatoes au-gratin with ramps. Somehow. We ended up boiling some Yukon Golds (not too soft, though), then slicing them and laying them in a glass baking dish. Then we sauteed the ramps, some green onions, and a regular white onion down. We cooked some half-and-half with about half a block of shredded cheddar, and then combined that mixture with the saute and spooned it over the po-taters. Cooked that in the over til the top was crispy, and voila. It was tasty, but not as tasty as the delicious panfish lawman fried up. We garnished things with fresh veggies, summer sausage, and High Life.
Oh yeah, and Springer was there. That’s right; he came, he saw, he took our money in poker, he departed.
Sunday was a Day of Rest: games of all sorts were played. We started things off with a breakfast of leftover fried bluegill, scrambled eggs, leftover po-tater au-gratin, sausage patties, donuts, and bread. We basically went back and forth all day between the NES emulator on the Xbox, the new board game I got wwhazz for Xmas (Carcassonne), and another bocce tournament. Things were made… odder by the fact that WORT was staging a street music festival about 20 yards from my window. We found a SNES game in my ROMS folder called Vegas Stakes, and spent many hours running our $1000 buy-in up to $1.2 million. You can play craps, roulette, blackjack, slots, and 7 card stud (spread limit) poker. We had some early luck when a zombie-man offered to wipe our shirt off, and to thank us he gave us a lottery ticket that won us $80,000, which became our nest egg. We ran that $80K to about $400K in poker by breaking off this poor schmoe named ‘Johnny’, and then took the $400K to over a million in high stakes craps. We ended up betting $1.2 million on the odds behind our point (5) in a no-limit craps game, and busted out. We will be more careful next time; Johnny is easy money.
The second bocce tournament saw another epic collapse by Timmer and whazzmaster. This was just a best-of-three set, but they came from behind in the third game to put us down.
Sadly, the pounds and pounds of fried food, eggs, coffee, scotch, and High Life made hay of our buttholes; it smelled constantly like farts all day on Sunday.
On the upside, though, we are starting to get good at Carcassonne, which is probably the funnest board game I’ve played since Thunder Road. Knowing Scientist’s love of Dice Wars, I’d be interested to see his reaction to this game.
So, that’s about it. This morning spacebee and I leave to go camping up near The Dells. We’ll be gone until Thursday or Friday, so be good you little scamps. I’d love to see a discussion of Carcassonne strategy, or barring that maybe just some plans for our bocce league this summer. Man, this is gonna be fun.
First.
The game board is a medieval landscape built by the players as the game progresses. The game starts with a single terrain tile face up and 71 others shuffled face down for the players to draw from. On each turn a player draws a new terrain tile and places it adjacent to tiles that are already face up. The new tile must be placed in a way that extends features on the tiles it abuts: roads must connect to roads, fields to fields, and city walls to city walls.
After placing the new tile, the placing player may opt to station a follower piece on that tile. The follower can only be placed on the just-placed tile, and must be placed in a specific feature. A follower claims ownership of one terrain feature—road, field, city, or cloister—and may not be placed on a feature already claimed by another player’s follower. However, it is possible for terrain features to become shared after the further placement of tiles. For example, two field tiles which each have a follower can become connected into a single field by another terrain tile.
The game ends when the last tile has been placed. At that time all features (including fields) score points for the players with the most followers in them. The player with the most points wins the game.
i like it. sorta like dominoes.
dominoes meets sim city meets dice wars
the future IS made of virtual insanity. fucking couches sliding around and SHIT.
HELP! I need anybody who reads this and has Scotts cell phone number to call him and ask if Madd is over there. If he is, tell him to come home asap as he has locked me out of the house!!! Please whazzers..I’m counting on you to help me out..or it will be a long night!
i was at the grocery store like she told me to be at. don’t be scurred. rach-o was sitting outside crying. haha. just kidding. but she wanted to cry when i told her they didn’t have oatmeal squares or some shit. again, do not be scurred.
Madddddd, I like that you go to the grocery store to get oatmeal squares (mmmm–I like the banana bread ones best) for your wife.
just kidding this is cal not ohio. what are oatmeal squares? is this something i should trying? mmmm banana bread… listening to MC Serch right now! check it out:
“Bolwling was invented by a brother i suspect,
cause throw you a black ball at some white pins with red necks, and yell STRIKE when all them rednecks fall, and if you miss a few -cool- you get another ball, and if you miss em all the black ball winds up in the gutter, no conincidences in this life my brother”
MC SERCH
Bad Tilapia needs to be made.
it’s a cereal, cal… quaker oatmeal squares in a smaller blue box… sort like grape nuts sized. this grocery store had about 1000 different quaker products, but no oatmeal squares. i got her mini-wheats instead and she said “YUCK!” even though i don’t see much of a difference. later in the night she was sitting on the couch eating them, and i’m like… “what happened to yuck?!” and she said “i remembered i liked them”. crazy people.
i checked out the good doctors palacial (palace like?) estate last night… arizona ballin! remember the friday after next culdasac? he is the mexicans.
also… wow… don’t remember coming home, and he gave me some crazy arizona dream herbs that worked crazy, but anyways… there is a giant burrito from del taco here that i didn’t even take a bite out of……. what the fuck was i thinking? i don’t even remember buying a del taco burrito.
yum grape nuts, those nuts are not as hard as they were in my youth. actually i’m only so so on the grapenuts. they do come in the smaller box though, this much is true. but the grapenuts stick in your teeth and i miss the old hardness. i guess i just miss the past, when the breweres were in last and a man knew where he stood in this world. right now i’m into something with a 4 in it. who knows what it is. my darling gf choose it, and it is good, it was a good choice. but all too soon it was gone… the Whatever4 did not last as long as i would have liked. so after the 4 stuff i picked up Life and (and!) Cinnamon Life. this bold move was due to a big sale at safeway for safeway club card holders (of which i am a member) four for ten bucks. but four boxes of cereal is just too much so i got two. only two. easier to carry and only 5 bucks. (ten devided by 4 = 2.5 X 2 = 5)so that’s what i’m eating now. LIFE. it’s ok. also back to milk on the reals (skim) instead of rice milk. so it’s skim milk and Life. gettin prepared for that sausage race every day. i prepare mentally, physiCALy and spritually. you suck ohio, just come by to say you like what you see but then you never come back. stay away then. this is whazzmaster.com a place for families not jerk spamers! jerks! oh man, i got so much sleep last night you don’t even know! peace out,
I remain,
cal
wwhazz, is bad tilapia ready to go? are we just going to film all the dialog improv, or is there only one line in the movie? is it even a movie or a 3 minute short or what? how will the cinematography change throughout… these area all questions that runthumbs productions should be answering on conference calls, but my shit isn’t ringing. i think they may have shelved the project.
cal, instead of peace out… you can say grease out.
just as advertised with the dream herb i woke up in the middle of the night, got some water, went back to sleep and picked up the dream right at the same spot and the level of detail was crazy. i was wandering around a palacial apartment complex, then i see a giant hovering airplane with no wings but way way bigger and fatter with one end flat, and even though shit was like a mile away i read everything written on the hull and then it sat upright and shot off into space leaving a trail of magical blue mist. it’s 17 cents a gram here:
http://psychoactiveherbs.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=161_116
maybe the wingless airplane’s deeper meaning that it was a burrito & it was going away cuz u didn’t eat it. the blue mist may also have a deeper meaning of the gaseous odors that you would have left behind had you ate it.
also, quite funny rach-o was locked out. it would have been funnier if that happened after you left ur place for the greater majority of the evening.
How did she post when she was locked out.
you know that gate opener thing that you had in san dog? well i keep that thing in my car, and it also gets you into the fitness room, and the technology center… so she went to work out, took the gate thing out of my car, then i went to grocery like she asked me to do all day, then i get back, and i can’t get in cause she took the thing, but now she locked out too. so she went in the technology center to post while i waited for someone to leave so i could get back in.
also, runthumbs, i got another concept to work on…. a chick discovers a mountain of chocolate on an isolated island…. she eats a hole in the mountain big enough to live in, and she does just that. years pass, but now if she eats anymore chocolate her cave home will collapse. she has eaten nothing but chocolate since discovering the mountain and starting her cave.
i did think it was weird that the spacecraft said “del taco scorcher sauce” on it….
gated apartment complexes are a complete joke and a display of the human ignorance that justifies my decision to simply fleece monkeys and eat hot dogs all day.
101 san fernand was my favorite… they took the gate to a new level with a double gate 10 feet high…. then they put a huge cement flower pot flanking each side so i’d have to get up on that, then get a foot on the box protecting the keyscan device from rain (irony) then swing the leg over and hop on the flower box on the other side. then do it again. gated apartments keeps only those out who can’t get over a gate.
and for those who feel protected by the gates: the cops saw me do this multiple times and did nothing. when i brought beer i would have to leave the beer outside, then get over both gates, then use my shoe to hold the inside door open, and then go out and get the beer. what a waste of time. some guy had to design this gate, some other guys had to build it and some shined up bitch in the rental office wastes time every day keeping the keycard database current… OR DOES SHE? and since i’ve been ploppin 2 bills+ on this thing errrrday, now some other dude has to come out and fix it. does everyone not realize they are wasting their time, or do they not care and they are just doing the job they are paid to do? those people make me sick.
Worth noting: we were flanked by three other apartment complexi. Ours and another had gates; the other two did not. There were two random rapes while we were living in SD and each happened at a non-gated community. So at the very least, the silly fence will deter your casual rapist.
I was out walking the dog after one of the rapes and Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa asked for my comments. I declined because A)I hadn’t showered that day and I make it a rule to look as pretty as possible when on TV B) I didn’t really have any comments and C) for some crazy reason I thought that she suspected me and that really made me not want to talk to her.
so 50/50 and one side hit twice…. that doesn’t prove anything. and the only reason your gate “worked” was because the other complexes didn’t have gates… if EVERY apartment had gates, then they wouldn’t work anymore because there was no place without gates to go get a quick rape in. they only deter casual rapists if there are close non-gated options near by. so if you want to build a gate and have it work, you also have to actively work against the construction of gates at nearby competitors OR purchase the nearby units as well, don’t put gates on them on purpose, then charge less and don’t tell people you expect them to get raped.
so dirty wwhazz does the interview, and before the lady can get out the question addressing the camera, you grab the microphone, take a step towards the camera and nervously command “I DID NOT RAPE THAT WOMAN”.
that shit would have been funny to me.
and also, maybe the type of individual that would live in a gated community under the false pretense of safty is also the type of person that wouldn’t report a random rape out of a personal need to keep that safty net in place.
http://www.break.com/pictures/may23gal41.html
Bad Tilapia is pretty much good to go. I’m guessing it will be around 10 minutes or so, but we will see. It has to have lawman as the lead. He was born to play the role. I am actively searching thrift stores for the perfect UW blanket. Sometimes I wonder about that cop who moves him along. Is he a dick about it or just doing his job?
The moment where he finds the fishing line will probably be my favorite part.
the cop is a robot instructed to tell hobos to move along and how he should say it. we never learn how the cop really feels, but we do learn that the cop is serious and fully expects you to listen to him.
does he brandish a baton and tap it in his palm… probably not, but madison police usually do rep the riot gear, so maybe he should to point out how ridiculous it is. maybe he could playfully spin it. maybe he gives the hobo $5 and says to never show his face again. maybe 2 cops just knowing approach him fully mean mugged, and oneil shyly drops his head and walks away.
if the cop is playing with the baton, he sould be doing some pretty decent tricks…. like some flatspin tailwhips… and then motion to the hobo to leave with an attitude that says i like practicing what i’m doing… i’m talented with this baton… it would annoy me if you made me stop, and you already know i’ve honed my technique even though i didn’t directly threaten you with it. also, if there were kids around watching the cop “perform” that would add some deeper meaning. i like that
there should be a fat kid with a caramel apple watching the cop toss his baton
should the fishing line have a shiny lure that catches his eye, or just a hook, and then you add a scene where he catches crayfish for bait… or digs up some nightcrawlers. i’m also not sure if there should be anyone else fishing and whether or not he would talk to them. if he saw someone else fishing who had beers, would he go try and make a friend because he wanted one, or does he only approach strangers when he NEEDS something.
bob odenkirk has been producing/directing lots of 5-10 minute shorts lately distributed on the internet… maybe we should get him on board.
to get the tattered blanket, just wait for the next big outdoor madison event. bring $100, find someone with the PERFECT blanket, offer $20, and work your way up until you have it.
perhaps “he masterfully uses his powers to catch a fish” or whatever i wrote could be a music montage where dude pulls out every single fishermans trick we can think of.
does the perfect strangers theme work there or is it too cheesy? he could change up bait or technique to match the lyrics.
STANDIN’ TALL… ON THE WINGS OF MY DREAMS! RISE AND FALL… SOMETHINGSEOMTHINGSOMETHING.
I have been doing research for my role. For example, I went fishing down by the bridges on lake monona the other night, and in the process, infiltrated a hobo convention. There were about 25 hobos sitting in Law Park. They had a grill and lots of Mountain Creek beer. One of them walked out on the pier while I was fishin and pissed in the lake. Right next to some girl who looked like she had been running and was resting on the bench. She did not move or even really react to the hobo pissing.
This was not the first hobo party I have seen in law park, but it was the largest. Usually there are groups of four or five or up to maybe ten. Often grilling, always cheap beer. Some have bikes, occasionally they are fishing. This may become more than just a movie role for me. I am seriously contemplating becoming a hobo.
dress o’neil up like a bum. have him wander the city stopping to stare in all the restaurants. he is visibly starving. an older couple sees him through the front window. he moves along. his stomach pain shoots and he nearly throws up. his expression quickly changes from that of pained hunger to nervous excitement as he struggles to swallow his vomit before it escapes. he succeeds and his expression reverts. he walks around begging for money, but a cop quickly spots him and tells him to get lost. he wanders along john nolen and sees some fishing line snagged in a tree slightly extending over the water. he retrieves the line and masterfully makes do with what he has and catches the biggest bass ever. he sees a man with a gas grill attached to his trailer hitch and offers a share of the fish in exchange for use of the grill. after opening the grill o’neil discovers various condiments that he is familiar with using. he prepares the best bass ever. stomach full, o’neil wraps up a portion of the leftovers in foil and heads back to the woods where he rendezvous with his dirty gorgeous hobo wife. she enjoys her bass. they make forest love and fall asleep in each other’s arms under a tattered wisconsin badgers blanket. cut scene to the moon above the capital, then follow into the bedroom window of the older couple from the restaurant. they both sit up at the same time and expel a vomit stream that kisses the end of the bed. both crying, they look at each other then into the camera and say:
BAD TILAPIA!
i think it’s better if the cop is actually not good at all at baton twirling, but the fat kid is 100% entertained, and the cop wants to get back to entertaining him, probably because it’s rare how often he makes someone happy instead of not making them unhappy.
thanks for reposting btw ohio, i forgot where it was and was too lazy to find it. the comment search on this site is nudge.
nah, I don’t want to get off track. We don’t need to develop the cop. He’s simply in service of the plot.
i still see that shot as just like 3 seconds… just a lot of stuff represeted if you look close
I bought my own copy of Carcassonne, the Inns & Cathedrals expansion, and The Settlers of Catan. I’m ready to rock, board game-wise.
just narrowly escaped cuba by the seat of my pants. natural disaster (major flood) left me ankle deep in shit water (literally, water with fecal matter numbers through the roof) and i was on the low water side of town. much of the city was waist high in shit water. at one point there was talk of us having to stay another 4-5 days with no electricity. not to mention i would have run out of money.
we had to flee the city and stayed at a different hotel in the middle of nowhere without electricity, but thankfully also without shit water.
glad to be back, needless to say.
will let ya’ll know when i’m rested up enough to go into production on bad T.
btw, if you try to confirm this via google good luck because apparently we don’t report on cuba’s natural disaster sob stories. only on fidel. but i’ll send some photos to MP to post. for instance, the one of a foot long rat that a dude killed with his bare hands in front of me. dude’s house was filling up with water and all he could think to do was kill the swimming rat.
Hi,
I think this might be a better venue than email.
Mpenny (and spacebee), o’rumseys, wirkuses, and poochies: what do you think of a big ol’ visit to the Kalish Christmas Tree Farm? I know that the wirksu family was thinkig maybe one of the first two weekends of June.
Also, if anyone else is going to be near town and wants to join (maddd, cla, etc…)… you are welcome, too.
We recently had our septic pump replaced, so I personally guarantee that nobody will have to wade through any level of shit water. I can also claim with a level of certainty that there won’t be any rats (of any length). I cannot make that claim about junebugs, mice, bats, chipmunks, red squirrels, turkeys, deer, cranes, or bear.
Thoughts?
let me confer with the calendar when i get back to madison tomorrow. sounds fun! we will have to take some food porn photos on you butcher block for the ole cookbook.
lohan is going to jail longer than paris
Yo, I’m down for a weekend in ???. Rumthumb may not be able to make the whole shebang, and spacebee may have to work, but if itsa weekend, I’m game and so is lawman (I think). Wwhazz?
good good good. start thinking about what weekend works for y’all.
1. I really don’t want to see Paris or Lohan in jail, but no matter what Paris should be in for waaaay less because she is waaaaaay richer.
2. Weekend. This weekend is belly’s grandparent’s 50th and my dad is hosting a BBQ on June 10th. But just let us get settled in and we will work out something. Visiting Pittsville has moved to my number one recreational activity.
Also, my plans for sausage race weekend (July 21st) are coming along nicely. Cla is in for a real treat.
Of christ. I just cant keep a secret. Cla were having jerk tofu. There. YOu happy?
sounds good to me. interesting as well because i walked past tofu the guy yesterday. i did not say hello. i walked with great strides along the sidewalk unbeknownst to tofu. i can’t wait to take the sausage race trophy back to california. good luck to the brewers tonight, i hope they will win instead of losing like during their current season-high six-game losing streak during which they are batting .200 and have been outscored 27-13… hahah sorry couldn’t resist but you know i love the crew especially when then lose! well look at that, here’s tofu now:
http://www.tofuart.com/who.html
jkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkjkj don’t worry wisco pals, the crew will pull themselves together!
1. Still in first by a mile. It’s called a vacation. Us non-law school going folk take time to smell the roses.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-restlessbrewers&prov=ap&type=lgns
2. We arrive Madison with a Danger Cart load of shit around 10 am in the morning. If any of you maddy whazzers want to earn a trip to Michael’s Frozen Custard, be there with sensible shoes on.
3. Next time I see cal’s old frined John the nut I am giving out cal’s cell phone number and address. Hollar that, youngin. Expect insanity.
where did my post go?
Ugggggggggggggggggggggg…
Rewrite:
1. Cal, the brewers are still in first by a country mile. It’s called taking it easy. We all don’t want to be hot shot lawmakers.
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-restlessbrewers&prov=ap&type=lgns
2. The Danger Cart is loaded. If any of you madison folk care to help it arrives in the morning around ten. Wear sensible shoes.
3. For being a dick, I will punish cal. Next time I see John (you know who I’m talking about) I am giving out both your and greg’s cell numbers.
Gone again? BVLAHAHAOLHAIULgilugd
spam filter is a bitch. i’m at ramada now… you needed a password and there is nothing in the room, so i tried “ramada” and it worked. that’s a cla trick right there.
1) you are weak, your brewers were a flash in the pan. the pee nonsense is an exapmle of what happens when the brewers win. it is not pretty. you should be happy. Nature has come to a balance; the losers have returned.
2) I am going to win the sausage race!
3) The wales are frolicking in the bay! horay!
where did my post go?
1) your muscles are small, the brewers bats are slow. here’s an LSAT Question and Answer: if win = pee from frat boys then Lose = Good.
2) I am going to run to victory at the race! The Sausage Race!
3) I eagerly open the newspaper every day for tales of wales, today front page says: WANDERING WALES HOMING IN ON OPEN SEA. a glorious day.
whazzman, the new coop will be close to your house. even more local in your conscientious vegetable purchasing!
Where’s it gonna be? I looked at the website and didn’t see any site news.
http://www.madison.com/tct/business/stories/index.php?ntid=138619
i think that is right by the indian restaurant where we got take out a few family dinners back in time.
what coop? chicken coop? i buy all my vegetables at Locally at Walgreens: Clif Bar vegetable, snickers vegtable, gummy worm vegetable. other things i buy at walgreens are: soap (dish and hand) scotch tape, gum, batteries, sissors, chap stick (often times i buy the walgreens brand of chap stick: Chap-Aid. it’s slightly less expensive and also slightly larger, so you get a bit more and pay less– also, i feel the quality is equal to the more expensive “chap-stick” brand) blank CDs, razor blades, sandwich baggies, staples, pens, plant food (i was surprised by this one, i needed some plant food because my plants were looking a little wilty, so i checked at walgreens and there it was!) perscription medication, eye drops, ice packs, highlighters, coffee, gatoraid, mineral water (lemon or lime i don’t really care either way) notebooks, light bulbs. one time i bought a pair of flip flops to take to the pool for the low price of 99 cents. i took them too the pool. sometimes still i’ll take them to the pool if i feel like a swim. shampoo. once i bought a special kind of shampoo for chlorine that i found at walgreens. i take that to the pool as well. i bought googles to take to the pool, but i think they only have cheapy ones at walgreens so i bought mine at a sporting goods store. but i have seen googles at walgreens, this is probably not a high turnover product but they do carry them. probably they are more likely to carry them during the summer, maybe not in the winter. but you might be able to get them at walgreens in the winter, because a lot of people swim inside in pools in the winter so then you’d need goggles.
you know what is impossible to buy? a fan in winter. i needed a fan in the winter. i went to home depot, i went to target, i went to walgreens twice, i went to culvers and got a double cheeseburger. you just can’t buy them. weird.
also weird: i’m in the ramada for another night… fuckers screwed up our apartment in san marcos. THEN rach-o got a call today that her job in escondido (4 minutes from san marcos) was filled, but they got her a new assignment in san diego (50 minutes from san marcos) so we were like… uh… bullshit. then after a bunch of drama today she got her housing stipend up to 21 folds and we got a closer housing assignment…. in………. archstone mission valley of course. ladybell and w-whazz need no longer worry about the A not being represented.
cal, you know what is cooler than walgreens? cvs and circle k. walgreens blows.
did anyone else find razor blades oddly out of place and feel concern about a possible coke habit? also… did a dude from freedom grill corporate incorporated industries really leave a post on this site like “thank you for liking our grill”?!?!
never take that thing off. seriously. i’ve never seen it, i’ve never seen one, and even knowing that it exists, seeing on pass me on the road would make my week. don’t rob your fellow drivers of that joy.
“blank CDs, razor blades, sandwich baggies…
staples, pens, plant food”
genius.
if you are going to commit to leaving the grill on, you should also get a custom license plate… brainstorm:
GRILLIN
SIZZLIN
GRILLIT
GRLDUDE
GOTMEAT
time to get drunk, bye cal
grldude is too much like: Girl Dude I’m afraid…
how about:
WATS4DNR
How about:
MEAT4LATR
IAMHOV4U
STEVEGTHXFORPOSTING
WHAZZBRGR
TUFOMOBILE
BRINGDAPAIN
BREWERSARE14FORTHEIRLAST19
CALRULESTHEWORLD
CALRULESTHEWORLD is vulgar i’m afraid
how about:
MADDRULSDAWORLD
I hate fantasy baseball. Let’s all hold our dicks for a half a year; it’ll be just as fun as the dinger league.
whoa there grill man, take er easy. the dinger league is a great and wonderful undertaking, one not to be taken lightly. to some it may seem fruitless, but let us look to the Tao Te Ching for insight.
48. Inaction
The follower of knowledge
learns as much as he can every day;
The follower of flow
forgets as much as he can every day.
By attrition he reaches a state of inaction
Wherein he does nothing, but nothing remains undone.
To conquer the world, accomplish nothing;
If you must accomplish something,
The world remains beyond conquest.
Hey national spelling bee fans, just a reminder that the finals are on tonight on ABC at 7 central. Madison speller Isabel Jacobsen (last year’s 14th place finisher) will be competing.
I just wached, like, six rounds today (of the spelling bee)… on ESPN!
ktk dont’ you have a phd in english or something? because that is the most bizzarre use of the parenthesis and the exclaimation point i ever have seen. ESPN! you like ESPN or something? what do you like about it? sports news? when they made ESPN they wondered about how many hours of sports news people would watch, do you know what they found? sports news AROUND THE CLOCK. there is no limit to the amount of sports news people want. it is truly a weird thing. so sayith cal
hi CLA… I can tell you “dont’”
BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
seriously, though:
1. Parens: anyone who had spent four hours of their life would know reference that there were “rounds” to the bee, thus the fact that it was the bee became parenthetical info.
2. The excitement about ESPN is mainly because I’ve never watched ESPN. My exclamation point didn’t really signal the delightful irony that there are a bunch of noodley bespectacled dorks spelling words on the “sports” network. I was excited, though, that there was something on ESPN that I’d actually want to watch.
3. Plate:
HOT4BEEF
hey cal, look out with ktk and the english PhD zingers.
we once watched a movie together and i lamented the fact that i did not predict the ending while she and k-car did. ktk said,
“well, brian and i are english people.”
ZAP! i have a DOUBLE bachelor’s degree fuckers! film AND you guessed it, english. english with a small e.
that didn’t count enough for me to be an “english person,” apparently.
btw, re: going to farm kalish for more insults to my intelligence, next weekend works for me as i only work on sunday night.
Todd Maurer?
I am a fucker. sorry.
What about next weekend for the rest of you? Wirkus, do you had belly have something going on? Whazzmaster?
Come on! Who wants to be insulted!
lol