Hey everyone! Wiggity wiggity wiggity! It’s your old pal whazzmaster and have I got a deal for YOU! Get this whazzers: I’m gonna be out of town next weekend! Wheee! Spacebee and I are going down to Elburn Days… hmm, where did I put that link… here? Hmm, no. Aha, here it is. I’m gonna eat me a big ol’ thing of sweet corn. Then I’m gonna ride the Tilt-A-Whirl, slap some money down on the Meat Raffle, and probably contract salmonella. All in a days work, my friends.
Plus, on Tuesday I’m delivering a new computer to my parents, and I’ll probably hook up with my brother again for some old fashioned Ray-Seen golf action. Will we play Johnson’s Park, where sonuvabitch rangers yell at you no matter how fast or slow you play? Or will we play at Ives Grove, where the gale force winds blow your tee shot out into a random cornfield in Union Grove? We won’t know until Wednesday, so stay tuned!
Also, I recently made some trip plans to travel out to the Valley in October. I’ll be in San Heezy (For Sheezy) Oct 16th through the 22nd, and as an Extra! Surprise! spacebee will be joining me on the weekend.
This past weekend was relaxing, and I even got to play some golf with Scubby out at Bridges. I lost about a dozen balls on the back nine and stopped keeping score, but the front was pretty good; I shot a 43.
That’s about it for now, I’m sure this week will be full of tales of Rogue Bartending by wwhazz. Also, scientist, I ask you a direct question: how’s it going out in San Diego? Are you guys planning on doing a few more rotations out there? Gonna move to LA proper so you can heckle the Live at the Bike dudes… live? Or are you planning on moving to Atlanta, GA? You know (from first hand stories) they gots some good strip clubs there…
Say lah vee, whazzmaster.
Holy shit, look at this event lineup for elburn days. I would like to note that the Elburn Idol winner has a packed schedule…
7:00am
- Elburn Boy Scouts Pancake Breakfast
- 5K & 1M Run/ Walk Registration at the Elburn Fire Station
8:00am
- 16th Annual 5K & 1M Fun Run
- Elburn Crafts Show- Sidewalk and Arts & Crafts Sale, Flea Market, Rummage Sale
- 4-H Livestock Show
9:00am
- Town & Country Library -Book Sale (302 E. North St.)
- Registration for the Antique Tractor Show
10:00am
- Truck & Tractor Pull Registration begins at Lions Park Double Wave: NEW!
11:00am
- 29th Annual Truck & Tractor Pull Begins
- Food Tents Open
- Elburn Days Community Stage (Coordinated by M & M Dance) Double Wave: Family Friendly!
Noon
- Rides/Carnival & Beer Garden Opens
- Community Stage Opens
1:00pm
- Multi Ride Wrist Bracelet period begins
- Blue Voodoo performs on the Main Stage
1:45pm
- Communtiy Stage – St Charles Gymnastics
2:30 – 3:30
- Elburn Idol Competition
4:15 – 5:45
- SuperFlannel of Elburn to play
5:45 – 7:30
- Kareoke Party
4:00pm
- The Lazy Maybes perform on the Main Stage
- Elburn Idol winner to open
- Bingo begins
7:30pm
- The Blooze Brothers on the Main Stage at Lions Park
- Elburn Idol winner to open act
Things I Am Excited For: Pancake Breakfast, 5K Race, Beer Garden, Elburn Idol, Tractor Pull, 4H Livestock Show, Kareoke (sic) Party
hope to catch you in town in Oct. man
we’re moving at the end of august. staying in california, maybe bay area. maybe gilroy. did you hear they tore up all the garlic fields and put up a parking lot? so sad. gilroy the rise of the machines. live at the bike doesn’t exist anymore… bart hansen, the main commentator (had rotating partners), was the reason i liked it so much because dude does poker commentary better than anyone, and he does it live for 3 hours and still does better. it sickens me whenever michael konik gets work. anyways, bart quit, the show wrapped and then he made the final table at the 1st event of the world series this year. he busted out real quick though, but still won a lot. after the next assignment we’ll probably do pacific northwest and then east coast. i haven’t been to a strip club since the don tricked 8 professional dancers into sitting by him for a little bit.
short dog moved to the A, straight from the bay. he still macks bitches everyday anyway.
$hort, Mothafucka! Nice sceizzer, well you know that the day you step back into Wisco me an’ wwhazz’ll be waiting. We can can our own food, shoot some guns, and then play Wii tennis and shit. I dunno.
Last night there was a pretty awesome storm here in Madison. I sleep pretty soundly 99% of the time, but the thunder was crashing pretty continuously for about 30-45 minutes. Dope.
hey w-whazz… i have a technical writing question. if you are describing a process, is it best to reduce the process down to clear steps, or set up every step with a higher level description?
example: instructions on how to build a dresser from scratch wood. i’ve heard over and over the argument that the instructions should be like: now we are going to build a drawer. a drawer has a front, back, 2 sides and a bottom. now we are going to build a front. a front has handles and holes. here are the dimensions to cut a piece of wood.
college professor writer types argue a person is reading this, and if the instructions were just like, cut a piece of wood, that the person wouldn’t know what they were doing and would make mistakes or get frustrated or confused or i don’t know.
but i argue, look… i had to get these dresser instructions from somewhere… i knew what i was looking for, and these are them. i know i’m building a dresser. just tell me step by step what to do. i am your monkey. pull my strings. when i read all the fluff, i’m screaming at the author to GET TO THE FUCKING POINT.
anyways, just curious what your stance is. also, anyone else that has ever written/read instructions on how to build a dresser, or anyone who has ever used one
today is the full tilt series of online poker $216 limit omaha hi/lo tourney. if anyone wants to buy a percentage of me, i’m for sale.
I don’t know where you’ve been having these arguments about technical writing, but I guess I agree with you. I guess most instructions are written for poo poo heads and in an effort not to confuse them, layers of extra instruction get added which ends up making simple instructions more complicated. Poor cal!
Also, just so y’all know, skeezer cashed in the tournament. I think he made like $500. Cool but shitty when you are 50 players away from 48,000.
I watched him until about 2:30 in the morning. I also watched an old UFC (42?) and it was hilarious. They were trying to “wwe” it up with complicated pyro entrances and number one contender matches. Tank Abbott fought. Undertaker was in the crowd. Chuck Liddell had this ultra complex entrance. First a black dude painted up like ICP popped up on the jumbotron (they had a jumbotron) and babbled about the coldest dude he ever seen. Then a million fire crackers went off. Then a punch of smoke pored out of the entrance and Liddell came out to a death metal version of Ice Ice Baby.
Funny question from my responsible server class:
T or F
The best way to find out if someone is underage is to tell them as they walk up that you will not serve them and read their reaction.
From wiki:
“The story of Double Dragon is set in a post-apocalyptic version of New York City, five years after a nuclear war, where gangs and criminal organizations have taken control of the city. The protagonists are Billy and Jimmy Lee, the titular duo and the successors of a fictional martial arts style known as Sou-Setsu-Ken (loosely based on Jeet Kune Do). One day, Billy’s girlfriend, a student named Marian, is kidnapped off the street and the Lee brothers receive a message from her captors, the Black Warriors, demanding to known the secrets of Sou-Setsu-Ken in exchange for her release. The Black Warriors are the largest criminal organization in the city, led by machine gun-toting crime boss Willy Mackey.
This is the basic premise of the first game as originally established by Technos Japan, although certain details of the plot change between versions of the game and publishers. The actual game has no in-game plot and the opening merely depicts Marian being knocked unconscious and carried off by the Black Warriors, with Billy and Jimmy emerging from the garage in the background shortly afterwards.”
I just thought it was regular New York.
Oh man more funny from my class (it’s online so I’m takin git right now):
Multiple choice
BAC refers to…
D) the most popular drink in the United States
i was in 25th place with 100 left from 1050 players. i had 48,000. lost 3 hands in a row to leave me with just under 12,000 with blinds at 1500-3000. what fucking timing. 60th place. i was supposed to win. now i don’t know what i’m supposed to do. maybe me and cal could be lawyerin buddies and help quiz each other before test times. we could also reenact a few good men and cal could be demi moore
denying someone service just to read their reaction breeds negativity in society.
quick, some hoods just punched out stacy! you can help me use sow-setsuo-howdy to go rescue her!
i always just assumed you were fighting in a particularly rough neighborhood, but i guess that does explain why adobo (the man, not the sauce!) looks like a fuckin’ mutant.
If I were to want to buy a piece of you for an upcoming tourney, how would one do that? Send you a check? Buy you 100 boxes of Freezy Pops on Amazon.com? Send you a box containing one bottle of Sloe Gin? What man, what? If you were serious, then so am I.
because you never denied me service, your word is bond.
the international fight league tries a lot of wwe stunts as well. i watched one a few days ago and it reminded me a lot of old ufc. it’s a sad cyclical system. good fight product, low audience… add marketing gimmicks = high audience/money = worse fight product = more marketing gimmicks = ………
the ufc was in a downward spiral, but 73 was the best one in a very long time and 74 looks decent. the ifl should be fun to watch for a little while though, if only to watch their marketing team scramble and fail.
Every now and then I fall down a youtube hole and end up watching IFL fights. I’m often surprised at their quality.
I’m hoping the Don’s B-party ends up at a bar showing UFC 74 or at least Saturday Night Main Event. I guess Matt Hardy is boxing Evander Holyfield.
once they took out knees and elbows to the top of the head, mixed martial arts became pretty pointless. might as well just watch boxing.
Patron: Hello, I’ll have a BAC on the rocks.
Bartender: I refuse to serve you.
Patron: What!?! Why not.
Bartender: Ok. Just testing you. One BAC coming up. You want it spicy or sour?
Patron: Ranch.
Bartender: FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKER. Only a 20 year old would order a ranch BAC.
Patron: What?
Bartender: Ha ha. You passed my second test. Enjoy your drink.
Near love! Off to the bar. I think we got live hippie music tonight.
kicks to the the head while opponent is on the floor… i mean, dude, if you don’t want to be vulnerable to a leveraged kick to the face… STAY OFF THE FLOOR. YOU WILL LOSE.
why do you need a no biting rule? the people have mouth guards in. you want to spit it out and bite someone, good luck finding a spot where you aren’t going to take a shot to the jaw before you taste flesh.
so eye gouging… i mean no one wants anyone to go blind, but you let them break joints and collar bones and arms and legs, and give each other concussions… is no eye gouging really protecting anyone? mutual respect should take care of eye gouging on it’s own. you gouge your opponent, he gouges you. expect it.
mma politics really turns me off from the supposed sport. dana white understands shit.
i don’t want to watch clowns fight, but i don’t mind fighters acting like clowns. there is a difference.
today in the $44 ploiter i had 39,000 with 8 left. top 5 pay and 1st is $700. 2nd place had 26,000 then 22,000 then like 18,000 and a bunch of 10kers. can’t lose situation. i get all in 3 hands in a row with the nuts, bigger nut draw, and got 2 outted 3 times in a row.
full tilt poker is rigged as fuck. it’s a fucking joke and i’m sick of them fucking with people. i will end full tilt poker. END.
i mean… Ad2dKcQc and the board is AcKdQd9c. i got top 3 pair and both nut flush draws, and this fucker calls with AT23. the only way he can win is offsuit J. POOF. Jack of hearts on the river. i got AA39 and flop A77. all in. dude with a 7 calls and gets quads on the river. so fucking rigged. the bubble turns on and tilt turns on my doomswitch and starts handing out miracles. IT IS FUCKING RIGGED. chris fergusen and howard lederer founded the site. they are jewish.
annie duke isn’t jewish. she’s ugly jewish.
tapout quote of the day: “is rice really white? we don’t give a shit. let’s go fight.”
Holllarit!!!
“dana white understands shit.” = the entirety of all things dana white understands is equivalent to the knowledge of a turd pile.
fucking street slang and their bad = good mentality screwing the meaning of everything up. blau.
oh hollar at cal. for crying out loud i am in the library morning noon and night. i don’t know what end is up anymore. i leave my house at 8:30 and i get back at 9:30 that is why i can’t whazz so often! law school is fun and hard! but mostly not hard and i suppose mostly not fun either but just A LOT. it’s time consuming. which sucks becasuse it leaves little whazz time. excellent report on popular drinks, double dragon, and ploiting on the river, or coming in 40th or whatever. skeezer sometimes i skim your comments. but i skim them with love! let me think of something i’ve learned in law school and i will teach it to you. it’ll be like cal’s law corner. o’neil or big j please chime in or don’t this will probably be boring enough without you… hmmm today was day three so not really all that much to tell. ok i have something. this has to deal with “sources of law” one source of law is the constitution. another are statues (spelling?) another is common law which are laws created by judges instead of the legislature. you can think of common law like a bucket of water and statues are like rocks thrown in the bucket of water. so… unless you’re talking about a rock you go with the common law. there i just saved you thousands of dollars. love,
cal.
what happens when the rusty bucket is full of rocks it can’t support, and the water has stagnated?
i suppose you’d need a new bucket… probably at least 2 considering all the rocks you can plainly see you need to house. the stagnated water has contributed to a grimy film on all of the rocks… if you don’t clean them first, they will probably catalyze stagnation in the new bucket… but what of the water used to clean them?
cal, what is your favorite law?
I remember taking a bouncer training/awareness class with GMX. One of the recommended techniques was the “tap out” method. We were disappointed to learn that this meant tapping on your colleague’s shoulder when you thought he was losing his cool, and not actually making the offending customer tap out.
http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1770955
statues was funny cal. especially because they are rocks and some real statues are made from various stones… and various stones ARE rocks. man, that is humor.
i think you are talking about statutes. or maybe the magna mccarthy? what year do you guys get into steinbrenner?
the shading and perspective are all whack on zach’s face… and i don’t remember his hair like that in any episode. poor tattoo execution. should have seen kat at LA ink.
Badgers are rated #10 in the preseason polls. Does no one see this as something to talk about.
and by rated, I meant ranked
i think that brent moss back smoking crack and running oblong balls around racine for the raiders is a more obvious something to talk about… and yet still… silence.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brent_Moss
I didn’t know. The real #33 back in action.
Though I find both topics chatable.
Dram shop law is best
Torts are ok too (and tasty).
I guess both topics will remain in silence. Though the Brent Moss topic makes me consider moving back to Racine, beginning to smoke crack and trying out for the Raiders just to hang around Moss (you know cause he’s got good crack).
i don’t know what my favorite law is! maybe cooc puffs? wait that is my favorite chocolate cereal! mmmm i love chocolate cereal and espcially coco puffs, the claim could be made that i am “cuckoo” for Cocoa Puffs. According to Wikipedia: Cocoa Puffs is a brand of chocolate-flavored breakfast cereal manufactured by General Mills. They are small “puff” spheres that have been flavored with cocoa. Essentially, General Mills took their popular Kix cereal and flavored it with cocoa. However, Kix cereal is not produced at the same factories as cocoa puffs and differs in both density and circumference.
love,
cal
PS Fruit flavoring of Kix led to Trix.
pps Trix led to that silly rabbit who eats Trix
then trix changed to fruit shapes and i didn’t like them anymore. why ruin something so simple? trix destroyed my childhood.
today i had raisin bran crunch.
hey bellygirl, your cousin with the pulmonary embolism… was she on the ortho evera birth control patch?
some shady ambulance chasing cable advertising lawyer said that if that was the case, she could be entitled to money damages.
cal, what do you think of suing drug companies when their products have unwanted side effects in a portion of users who would have probably been worse off without anything at all?
right. statutes! lots of Ts in there. i’m tired! goodnight!
That was rumthumb’s sister, not my cousin. Thanks for the thought though.
you are welcome. off by one twice… you have a tort case i think.
so rumthumbs, sorry i forgot who it was, but was she on the ortho evera or was it just standard shitty luck? does the derivative of her wellness have a positive slope?
madddd, i will pass along your pot of gold advice to my sister but i’m not sure it will yield the end of the rainbow since she was not on ortho evera, just standard triphasal pills and smoking, which it says right on the package NOT to do.
btw, “weed anthem” is pretty amazing. heard parts 1 and 2 last night. also saw a movie about you and ass humping. that was almost as good as weed anthem in my opinion.
me = hungover. me = drank a bottle of wine myself at whazzman’s house and then went to the great dane for beer. me = sleep till noon and have headache all day. ugh.
wow… not sure i’m familiar with the ass humping video, but i’m happy you found amazement in my narcotic musings.
i only smoke the zesty that’s been wrapped in the angle wings
brewers, oh brewers! What has thou wrought? Cubs in first. Zach, depressed.
Pfffffffft. Not worried. That double error last night was pretty sweet.
Elburn Days is a bust today due to storms moving across Illinois.
farrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
rrrrrrrrrrrrrr