I’m proud as pie to announce the next great leap in whazzmaster.com history: http://iphone.whazzmaster.com. It’s really basic right now, but all the important stuff is there: comments. I know you idiots love typing grotesque examples of the English (and whazzzish) language on there, so the first version only shows comments, comments, and comments, grouped by post. I’ll probably add the posts on there at some points, but for now we’ve got glorious comments on-the-go. Could you get the same info myriad other ways? Yes. You definitely could. But that would preclude me from deploying my first Ruby on Rails application, so too johnny-be-badd for you.
I should note that if you aren’t using an iPhone or a Safari browser, that link will likely look like complete garbage. Sorry you Treo dudes.
It’s snowing outside. Hard.
No one seems to care.
is there an iphone theme style sheet for the header image and fonts and page sliding or did you whip that up yourself in the wok i destroyed?
Dude. I had blood come out my ear and no one cared.
Blood!
And I do care but I don’t understand.
I don’t get it. What does iphone have to do with whazzing?
who educated you?
what does the internet have to do with the world wide web? i mean, really.
what does cheese have to do with pizza?
wwhazz, why were your ears bleeding? that is pretty fucked up. got back on pstars for the first time since the 3 rigged beats in a row… won $100 playing 10 cent PLO8 on 2 tables over an hour or so… that was nice.
It started with one ear feeling really clogged, like it was kinda hard to hear out of it. I tried to clean it real good but nothing came out. I considered using an ear candle but none of the resources in my walkable neighborhood had them.
From there, my hearing started to do weird things when I was in loud places like Hooters during a UFC. The hearing in my right ear had an echo-like quality to it.
Soon after that, during my regular after shower swabbing, I noticed blood on the Q-tip. Not a lot, but considering my recent problems, worth noting.
So far I’ve consulted my wife (registered nurse) my sister (60% doctor) and my real doctor. During a visit to establish service he asked if anything was bothering me. I asked him to use his little ear peeker to look in there. He said all was well.
Now my ear hurts in the cold and loud places really, really hurt. For example, I wished I had ear plugs when we were watching the packer game last Thursday (I let class out early and caught the second half). Maybe an ear candle would work, but after the blood, I’m kinda scared as to what will come out. Last Friday Jessi said I could walk over to the clinic to get it looked at (signs of care) but it was very cold out and I was out grocery shopping.
I don’t know. I guess if I had to lose a sense, I’d choose hearing over taste, touch, smell or sight. I think I’ve spoken enough to not let my speaking lapse into deaf-talk.
Holy shit you’re George Bailey. Do you love that old Savings & Loan? Does your coworker keep a squawking raven as a pet? Do you find yourself talking to angels?
Don’t let Mr. Gower poison you.
maybe you should qtip your ears so much.
shouldN’T….
Maybe
awesome. i wish i could live in a uhaul. BALLER!
Happy Birthday to Cal, Happy Birthday to Cal!!!!!! I hope you have a nice day full of lawnfulness and cheer. Love, BG
happy birthday, player. law up!
HB!
You should break the law. Next year we’ll be in Vegas!
Wooooooo Hooooo!
Maybe sean will come! YOu two could ride the NY NY roller coaster and talk torts.
yay ball up! thanks!!!
Vixens confess, that thin and not so long dic’ks absolutely can’t give satisfaction!
They just don’t stimulate the vaginal nerve endings well enough!
Fortunately, due to MegaDik any pen!s can now grow to a super size!
daddy you ruined my birthday!
happy day-after-your-birthday. daddy! where can i buy this MegaDik?
chip reese died.
Old news.
trew trew. new news: i lost all my pokerstars money bubbling out of a big tourney where i was 2:1 chip leader with 20 left from 150. lost the rest in 3 huge cash game pots all to the same guy who i was talking crazy shit to and was a favorite in every hand. poker is dumb. even if you win you die.
Women confess, that small-sized phalli are completely incapable of pleasing them!
They just don’t stimulate all sensitive spots inside female pussy well enough!
Luckily, due to MegaDik it’s now possible to increase the pen!s size!
I ordered MegaDik and they sent me a package of smarties. Waste of money.
i ordered MegaDik and all i got was this stupid t-shirt
I for one am glad you supersized your pen!s.
Your thin and not so long di’ck absolutely can’t give satisfaction because it dosen’t stimulate the vaginal nerve endings in the female pussy well enough!
In an ear update, belly brought home an odescope. She can see some dried blood and she thinks I perffed it. I go to the doctor Tuesday.
not daddy! me!
cats out of the bag… I’m selling MegaDik door to door to make extra cash for the holidays.
Ugh, I’m in Dallas and/or Fort Worth, in an airport where madness reigns supreme. There is a vending machine that sells cell phones. Were a feudal warlord to conquer this compound, they could live for a million years in the closest modern equivalent to the Autobot, Metroplex.
The food store in La Jolla had a vending machine that sold ipods. Weird thing to get from a vending machine.
the vending machines in bakersfield sell gang memberships.
a weird thing happened to me today… ST:TNG “cause and effect” was on my tivo, even though i thought i had already deleted it. also, i noticed in the episode description “The Enterprise becomes caught in an endlessly repeating time warp.” how insulting. like i don’t know what a temporal distortion loop is. jerks.
or more specifically a temporal causality loop.
time warp! last final tomorrow friends and neighbors! also for better or worse the moldy peaches are in that preview for that new movie juno. wonder if that will be a good movie. i wonder whazzmaster!!!
That Moldy Peaches CD you made me is still my favorite CD ever. I’ve even been working out a recipe for a new dinner called steak for chicken. I’m either going to pound out a chicken breast and stuff it with steak or chicken fry a steak a stuff it with chicken.
Good luck with the finals, Mega-girlDik.
Oh… went to the casino after the Packer game today. Put $20 in a $1 video poker machine, ran it down to a buck and then flopped a 4567 all spades. My last card was 8s for a str8 flush: $50.
Holllarit!
cal, i hope you just barely make the cut this semester! GOOD LUCK!
if i were offered both at a restaurant, i would order the pounded out chicken breast stuffed with steak. hopefully there would be peppers and onions and maybe a sauce… anything would be good.
i am maceo i be blowin the soul out of this horn.
I miss the old cal…
i AM the old cal! fjdkjfkdjfkdfjdjfkdfjdkjfdkjfkdjfkdjf merry chrismas! MERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY CHRISTMAS! JFDKAJFKDJFKDJFKDJFKDJFKDJFKDJF that is all. BOOM! see- old cal.
Are you live blogging your after exam drunk? That would be so cool, asshole.
Now that school is over are you goign to take up your old hobbies like fantasy sports and greg? Law school really took you out of the game. Your baseball team was in 1st place until you started class and your football team never got off the ground. You just named it “Mclovin”, set it for auto draft and sucked.
When most fruits are dried, they keep their same name, but not the grape. The dried form of the grape, revered throughout history, has its own unique name: the raisin.
see? old cal! yeeehahahahayeysyysa
C! A! L! C! A! L!
dude no. i have my test at six thirty tonight. it is a scary and sad thing. i can’t go into it right now (i inkthay my orprefforsay might be a azzweraay.) anyway but i [opposite of love] the [opposite of student] if you know what i mean. in other words, in reverse world she is great and really not a bully who is happy with her life and gives easy exams.
cal! cal! cal!
what happens to a dream deferred? does it dry up like a dried grape in the sun? or fester like a sore and then run? does if flunk like a pile of junk? or does it whazz all day? or does it explode?
but i will be drunk tonight and i will whazz. mark my words whazzmaster.com I WILL WHAZZ!
i bet cal peed in his pants during the test, and the teacher smelled it and smiled.
Come on: let’s see it.
boo
first time whazzing in awhile so i have a bit of catching up to do. 1) happy very belated bday, cal. 2) raisin in the sun reference, nice. one of the best plays i was forced to read (twice) as an english major. 3) i am all for ear candles though probably not a good idea when ear bleeding is in occurance. 4) of my 8500 songs on itunes, moldy peaches steak for chicken is the absolute worst. blech!
i’ve never known cal to lie. until today.
i was drunk and i did not whazz! damn! a dream defferred! ya heard?!
hey i’m whazzing hungover though that counts right? right?! RIGHT??????????
anyway school is out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
did you rape your tests?
HE’S A POOP. BOX. HERO.