Fun weekend up near Oxford, Wisconsin. Springer invited us up for an experimental run at an ice fishing weekend on Crooked Lake (full picture gallery here) where his family has a summer place (double-wide with all the trimmings). Lawman, wwhazz, and I hit it up for ice fishing, drankin, and gambling. Upon arrival we got right to baiting and fishing. Thirty minutes in lawman had already hauled in a bass (though it would prove to be the first and last fish caught that day.)
Catch of the Day
The saddest thing you’ve ever seen is a bootless whazzmaster in sneakers navigating the 4 inches of slush on top of the foot of ice. I held out against the cold for about 2-3 hours, and then as the temperatures fell in the afternoon I had to retire to the trailer for heat and food. It probably went from high 20s to 20 below from 3:00p to 8:00p. On a mid-afternoon jaunt into town for bloody marys we stopped at the local TruValue hardware store where I procured heavy duty boots and new wool socks, and wwhazz brokered a deal for 3/8″ slingshot ammo. I had the horsradishest-bloody mary of all time, which perked me up since I was still hungover from a Friday Night Intuit Essen Haus Extravadanza.
We returned from town ready to cook dinner and watch the Badgers drop one to Purdue at home. As our 15 pounds of purchased perch burbled away in the turkey deep-fryer manned by two stout fellows, wwhazz, lawman, springer, and I took turns shooting beer cans with the wristrocket and BB gun.
Outdoor Cookin’
Beer Can Bingo
Throughout the evening I backed the house in a rousing game of blackjack. I am nothing if not efficient in my dealing; HOLLLARIT Joe’s Casino, got any openings? As we drifted on to sleep well past midnight the wind howled and temperatures dipped even further south. Morning saw us bright-eyed, bushy tailed, and eating a Magmuffin at Maggie May’s Cafe. It was goddamned delicious, and I recommend it without hesitation or reserve.
Thanks for the weekend Springer; I will take you up on a summer getaway back to Crooked Lake for more fishing, booze, campfires, firearms, and bloody marys. And Foxtails.
I did my taxes yesterday. The result: I owe a lot less than I thought I did, which is good. I had forgotten to change my W4 when I sold my house and moved to Wisconsin, so I wasn’t withholding nearly as much as I should have been. However, I only owed $23 for Wisconsin, which was terrific.
Lawman: got my new Backwoods Home magazine today. Canning meals in a jar, LED lighting, spring seed catalogs, building batten doors (like, a 20 page article), invasive species, crock pot cooking, and making adobe bricks. Also: a very special publisher rant where he calls all presidential candidates ‘bozos’ upwards of 30 times in a one page column. I’m gonna buy a yurt off the internet.
what the hell is that one dude wearing.
did you see this? forbes “most miserable cities” in the US… Madison = #3
http://www.forbes.com/2008/01/29/detroit-stockton-flint-biz-cz_kb_0130miserable_slide_2.html?thisSpeed=15000
that dude should have an orgage jumpsuit instead
Hey cal,
Really glad you were not with last weekend. Except for a 1st hand account of Bo Ryan’s porn viewing habits, you woulda ruined our trip for sure.
Also, click “full picture gallery” to see a real beard. You fraud.
that pic of springer says it all
I was wondering what you’d think of that. I thought it turned out well.
Cal, don’t act like you’ve never seen a camo snowsuit. You’re from Minneapolis fer chrissakes
wow way to go mountain man. mine was weak it’s true i’m no camo snowsuit mountiain man. anyway i saw in time magazine that beards are “in” as soon as time magazine says something’s in it’s time to get out. this weather needs to cut. it. out. can’t get anything done. stupid sun and niceness. jfdklasjfdklasjfdklasjfdsklajfadsl
horay for michigan springer!
my beard trumps all of you ladies. today i will sun it.
wwhazz, here’s some cormac mccarthy movie adaptation updates:
1. The Road is in preproduction, directed by John Hillcoat, starring Charlize Theron (?!), Viggo Mortenson (the man), and Kodi Smit-McPhee (the kid). Supposed to be released this year.
2. Blood Meridian is to be directed by Ridley Scott but has no cast yet and no schedule. Tentative release date of 2009.
3. “If in the first act you have a bear dancing on a stage, then in the following one it should be dead at the hands of an enraged poker player. Otherwise don’t put it there.”
Also, I just went down a patented Internet Rabbit Hole™ when I googled ‘blood meridian dancing bear’. Check out this thread for a lot of discussion on the Judge and the meanings of various scenes in the book. I couldn’t find anyone offering their ideas about the dancing bear scene, but a few people did mention that they had no clue about it. I just skimmed the page though. Once I get some more time I’ll go back and read more.
i think a musical act called “we have the will to make you” would be very interesting to watch perform live.
Get on that.
i just did.
now i get to go back to reinventing adbrite. i have the fiat will.
it would be even better if wil wheaton was in the act.
Damn good find lad. Nothing about the bear but still good stuff. Did you read that journal article about the ending? Holy shit there are some smart mofos running around this planet. I just figured it was a dude working on train tracks or something and it symbolized that civilization came from all the violence.
I’m guessing Charlie Theron plays the legless man on the mattress. Or a dead baby in a kettle of stew. HOLLLARIT!
Just read the paper on the ending. Wow. I think we should get together and talk about that shit.
if man consists of the good of man and the evil of man, then why would one assume that the evil of man could not also consist of the good of the evil of man and the evil of the evil of man? rationalizing a plot through those assumptions is a fool’s task. the judge was a closet homo and the bear was a chinese spy.
i don’t read.
A topical fish fry batter roundup in the Journal-Sentinel today.
The judge will cornhole anything that moves– that’s a fact we can back up with textual evidence. As far as the bear being a Chinese spy… that is an interesting angle.
I buy it.
We had a campfire chat about “Skeezer Beards of Yore” and “the Many Weird Beards of the Madd Scientist.”
Norris would have read this and creamed his jeans. They even called United Fruit “the octopus.”
http://www.amazon.com/Bananas-United-Fruit-Company-Shaped/dp/1841958816/ref=pd_bbs_sr_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1202921460&sr=8-3
This author was on NPR this morning and dude had me HOOKED for hour just talking ‘nanners.
Spacebee should give it a read… she can then have political motivation to go along with her adversion.
I fucking love bacon.
anon aka MADD SCIENTIST
http://www.patheticgeekstories.com/archives/page1/younglife.html
if i were running towards loose pizza, and thinking about dicks, one thing is true: a girl would not pass me.
i would not allow it.
Anyone win the opening day ticket opportunity? I, unfortunately, did not.
I did not get an opportunity either. Boo.
An opportunity! That’s all I ever wanted.
Now there is an arctic tailgate on Saturday for another chance to get tickets. I wish these assholes would just put the tickets on sale like normal. It’s cheap marketing stunt after cheap marketing stunt.
Want opening day tickets? Buy a 10 pack. It’s the only way…
Except for the lottery aka our big chance to harvest a shit load of phone numbers and home and email addresses…
And don’t forget the arctic tailgate. Sit in the parking lot at 6 am on a Saturday in February and we’ll give you a hot dog and let 10 of you buy tickets (and we will take photos and call the news and make the brewers look super fun and popular…)
Dum. Dum. Dum.
Meat case update, please.
Fell down a wiki hole and came up with this nugget:
“On June 22, 1996 at ECW’s Hardcore Heaven event, Paul Varelans faced and was choked out by ECW star Taz, in what was promoted as a “Shoot Fight.” Despite being promoted as a legitimate shoot fight, it is believed that Varelans agreed to lose via submission[6]. Missy Hyatt also claims in her book that Varelans agreed to lose if she gave him a blow job afterwards, but Hyatt blew him off and said that she doesn’t blow “jobbers”. After this, Varelans supposedly went nuts and tore up the locker room afterwards.”
Yo Cal,
When does fantasy baseball start? If you need another player, K-car wants to play.
Also, can you get dude to send me my fantasy football winnings?
What aboot dinger league?
Did Hardcore Hack count as a jobber? What about Tommy Dreamer? What about todd’s old roommate tommy?
That sentence “blows” my mind:
Missy Hyatt also claims in her book that Varelans agreed to lose if she gave him a blow job afterwards, but Hyatt blew him off and said that she doesn’t blow “jobbers”.
You have “blow job”, “blew him off” and “jobbers” working together which is fun, and then the whole idea that she agreed to blow him if agreed to lose aka “job” but then did not blow him becasue he is a jobber.
just another example of taz and dick sucking 1 level removed.
ECW star taz that is
it was a shoot match. and dude shot at taz’z face. taz made him felate the mat. varelans had balls and tugged at his only shot for victory: gay intercourse.
gay intercourse with ECW star taz that is.
i went on a poker tear… played 43,000 full tilt points worth of 600 point tourneys. won a bunch of tokens… play a bunch of big tourneys. cash in 1, bubble on many so so close to big big money (4:1 chipleader with 45 left, top 27 pay from 250). run cash up 100%, get it all on a huge cash pot and get 1 out rivered. that site is so fucking rigged.
tilt and stars now both have native mac versions.
When did you become a poker jobber?
CAL WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
in class. talking about federal question jurisdiction. it’s boring. sorry i’ve been busy. has lara come back? is there complete diversity required by 1332? ug. gotta get back to paying attention. jurisdiction BOOM!
cal
what the shit are you talking about? “complete” diversity? either you’re from a different state or you aren’t. why have federal courts when we created the UN? why not just handle all federal level case for every country there? so much wasted brick and handrails and toilet fixtures. cal, why is nudity illegal when we are born naked? that is fucked up. my shit is diverse.
i finally found a store with infrared dueling RC helicopters. i’m excited. shot 3. game over.
Belly’s little cousin got the regular version for xmas and, holy shit, it exposed every toy I’ve ever played with, even cal, for what they really are: simple child’s toys.
I was pissed when generation LMNOP or whatever they are called got bearded lego men, but this, THIS, is just unfair.
dude nudity is gross and should be ILLEGAL! get some clothes on you naked pervert!
i do have clothes on. i have more coming too… i also scored a phi by numbers T (shirt) with my choppers. the golden ratio is tTITITITITITE
check the sides of those choppers: “SUPER BATTLEPLANE”. that is funny.
Shoulda went with the baby doll.
Cal, what is up with baseball? Can Brian play? What about dinger league? I say you put up the prize this year. And it better be good, like a toy helicopter or a magic t-shirt or a free will. Is frenchy banned for sucking or should we let him in?
Also, how come your friend never paid me for football? Do I need a lawman?
i hear kimbo demolished tank but i haven’t seen it. if you run across that one, post a link
cal, do you think the clouds will be gone for the lunar eclipse tonight? last one until december 2010!
yo i’ll bother that jerk about the football winnings. i hope big b can play along with us i’ll let you know. skeez rain tomorrow.
you weren’t jokin me. rain everywhere. it keeps the riff-raff out.
Your chopper can only fly outdoors under zero wind conditions.
that’s cool. our place has 10′ ceilings. if these things even remotely work and don’t instantly break, whazzmans has to buy some. otherwise you’d be the guy living in the rose bowl who didn’t own a football.
the heretofore uncombined next step (on the commercial side): better range on the controller, multiple angle remote video. then up to 16 channels. then “tools”, like a magnet on the bottom to capture an enemy flag, with a release mechanism. with sensing flag stands that alert everyone when the game is won. then after all of that, make them bigger for better control as things get windier. then an optional “anti-crash” mode that will detect other helicopters, and take over control to not allow them to crash. program separate moves based on relative position that will expect the other plane to make the move it would make if it was in their situation. avoid situations which would create circular reference. buy a strip mall location and a vending machine. get rich.
i’ll call it “mega fly”
investors, please direct inquires to my legal council cal.
fucking *7* days to ship that shit here. UPS ground New Jersey to San Francisco… that should be 5 days. i bet it’s you midwesterners and all your fucking snow. why don’t you melt it? if you had a nuclear reactor you’d have energy left to sell as well as millions of gallons of boiling water and steam which you could pipe through the city streets to keep their temperature above freezing. keeping the substrate at a constant temperature would also eliminate contracting and expanding which is the main cause of cracks and potholes. to balance society, all crack and pothole repair crews will be taught how to run a nuclear plant, and safely pipe the bi-product through the city. then, take city lawyers that used to decide which bids to accept to fix the cracks and potholes, and make them learn how to fix cracks in the new pipes. call the system “sentricity”.
inquires to cal.
wait… actually maybe TRYING to create circular reference is the best way to avoid a crash… if it truly goes on forever, they could not have crashed.
cal, i need some legal clarification… i’m watching cops, and these dudes go on myspace, pretend they are a 13 year old girl, tell the dude to go somewhere and then arrest him. chris matthews isn’t that creative. anyways, they charge these dudes with “attempted lude act to a child”. those laws were created to protect children, but where is the child victim? the police set up a sting to exploit a law that grants harsher penalties in light of a child victim, but there is no victim… even if all the evidence says that had there been a will participant present, a lude act would be performed…. but there wasn’t, and there wasn’t. can you break it down for me? cops shouldn’t be doing this… i would be a ton more ok with it if the cops had warrentless taps on everyones internet and actually intervened in a real situation and came in and arrested the old person and detained the young person to hopefully be taught a lesson. when it’s all made up, but you still claim he was going to statutory rape someone that only exists in fantasy land… that just isn’t right.
like if a cop went online and was like, “i’m suffering from cancer. i need someone to come kill me. i’ve tried to commit suicide many many times, but can’t do it. the pain is overwhelming. please help me end the pain.” and then someone shows up… could you charge them with attempted murder? shouldn’t the cops be pretending to be the older people and then meet the young people to teach them? what if this guy was actually doing just that? like he was showing them how easy it was and that they are putting themselves at risk. but then you show up and poof jail.
i want to drive from new york to la, and eat nothing but french toast. i’d call the journey coast to coast french toast.
what if you were a preacher and went on the streets and asked a question to people passing by “would you like to buy some drugs?”… and then if they say yes, you give them a speil about how they need to respect god or whatever bs… could that person be charged with intent to distribute even though no drugs ever existed? does a question like “would you like to buy some drugs” imply that you will fulfill that service if the person responds positively? these assumptions of implication are far reaching and certainly not beyond the scope of doubt. fucking cops. i hate cops and mormons and north koreans.
Come on cal, answer the question.
Mdd, you going to film your trip for a TV show or just do it and not tell anyone? (except us)
What if lara is really a cop?
uh. I don’t know. sorry, i can tell you what constitutes a battery though. intentional harmful or offensive contact. does that help? maybe sean will know. like, if you threw your french toast at wwwhazz’s face and it hit his face and it stuck then that would be a battery. if you missed him because he ducked then it would be assult because he had apprehension of the flying french toast, but if he didn’t even see the french toast that you threw, and he had just bent down to pick up his mini chopper, and because of this move the french toast missed him completely – then that would be nothing.
what if i chucked the frech toast through a door from 20′ away… i couldn’t hear wwhazz coming, but right as the toast reached the door, then like a person walking into a doorframe, wwhazz walked into the doorframe and BOOOOOF! toastface. is that battery? i didn’t know he was going to talk by the door… i was throwing the toast into a garbage can in the next room… or at least trying to until i was rudely blocked. can i sue him for toast battery? what about toast buttering?
wow, seriously though the last thing would be nothing? like if i shot at a deaf person, trying to kill them, and they slipped and i missed them, and they got up and didn’t know anything happened, but someone else saw it all, but never told them… is it still not a crime? that is dumb.
does FX REALLY have the movies? legally?
I think an accidental hit would be reckless endangerment. But that’s just what I think the term means. Cal, do you powder your face and wear a white wig when you are in class? Is it still raining? I had poached eggs for breakfast, but my mind was on french toast? Maybe lunch, I said to myself. Maybe lunch.
yeah, cal, check your law in that third example.
logical law always leaves vast loopholes surrounding suicidal maniacs. what if i was just out chucking toast (so pretty much any day ever) and wwhazz see’s my toast, apprehension is kicking it, and he move’s his face towards the toast that wouldn’t have hit him otherwise. is that still battery? dude is just a nutcase… i didn’t mean to hit him… he walked in front of my mid-air toast on purpose. don’t taze me bro
DONT TAZE ME!
what about the computer salesman who enabled the would-be predator? perhaps there should be a waiting list for computer purchase to limit their liability and the risk to all the imaginary victims that might get not met. can you propose new laws in law school? can you propose to greg in law school?
whoa it’s an explosion of posting. but here’s the thing. i don’t really know any of this stuff so where is the LAWMAN when we need him. help us lawman!
but that thing about chucking toast just randomly… you can’t do that. it’s called “general” intent rather than specific intent… but it’s still intent… you INTENDED to throw the toast… so you are toast. it’s like if you just start spinning your arms and moving around and you’re like: if you come near me it’s your fault i don’t want to hit you but if you get hit what can i do about it? that’s general intent…
but yeah… if wwhaz just happens to duck and you miss it’s nothing. that said i haven’t taken crim law… it’s probably a crime, but it’s not a tort!
um something else i can’t remember. oh yeah we read a case about a guy who shot at a wolf and then it turned out to be another guys dog. and then the shooter guy was liable for the cost of the dog or whatever… and the shooter guy was like wait- i thought it was a wolf… i INTENDED to shoot a wolf. but the thing is it doesn’t matter — because he INTENDED to SHOOT.. so if he kills your dog he is liable. or something. how boring.
what if you have a gun. you really really want to shoot it, but stupid people are in the way everywhere… so you try your best to find an open spot. you indend to shoot an open spot, but then the suicidal maniacs sense a spot where you could shoot, so they jump in the way right before you shoot. he specifically intended to NOT shoot them… and did it the best that he could, but the crazy people expected him to do it the best he could, so they got what they wanted instead: fat tort. it’s like spinning around, saying your please and thank yous, avoiding people like you would when you’re normally walking down the street, but they are running AT you… if your arms didn’t hurt them, they might even hurt you with the contact. in fact they might hurt your arms more than you hurt their skull. law is dumb.
who told you to put the balm on?
cal, in office, how would you address the current abortion situation? right now women outnumber men MORE THAN 2 TO 1 in abortions. as a gender, we can do better than that. as men.
in under seige, right after george bush gave and address at the decommissioning of the missouri, when steven segal says, “look at the money they are spending on this photo opportunity”… is he being sarcastic? it seemed like a dumb thing to say.
isn’t he a cook? cooks traditionally decry worthless, expensive photo ops; just ask my bro.
true… but he was more a soldier forced to be a cook because he punched out his old commander. and he always said “lowly cook”… did he really believe that? he seemed to care about his cooking an awful lot. locked in a freezer he told his capturer to take his pies out of the oven, but he could have just wanted to prevent a fire. he was obviously good at being a cook, there is a market for cooks, so why say “lowly”? again, sarcasm or a man full of himself? is there a difference? under seige… thanks for the truly realistic exploration of the elite soldier forced to a be a chef. later seinfeld would make a show about making a show about a man hit by a car driven by another man who would be forced to be his butler. you did it best segal. and you did it with busey in a dress. you see those, segal? WE. HAVE. SHELLS. FOR. THOSE.
BOOM
and even still… “look at the money they are spending on this photo opportunity” doesn’t imply anything. you can’t figure it out by looking at it. maybe there is a stage in town that is permanently set up that way, so it cost next to nothing. he must think that looking at it will be worth while to me. if he doesn’t, he is a person that would waste peoples time, and being a person that wastes people’s time through the implication of others wasting money, then he’s a moronic dick. so if it’s worthwhile, why? why not say “worthless photo opportunity” then? or “stupid photo opportunity” or “gay ass photo opportunity”. WHY, STEVEN?! WHY LOOK AT THE MONEY BEING SPENT? i mean, it IS a photo opportunity… IT’S THE PRESIDENT! GEORGE BUSH!
yeah, but when that chick pops out of the cake you can see her cans.
not on tnt
pfffffffffffffffffffffft
NSFW: said cans.
my choppers come tomorrow. so excited. i remember, as a kid, some kid on my block had this toy chopper on a tether to a controller that would just make the thing go up or down. i was impressed. i’ve been waiting 20 years for that toy to mature.
cal, do you ever notice that this city can be ridiculously quiet? i’ll be walking down a busy street and hear the person a block up breathing. it seems to happen quite often, and i’ve never really noticed it anywhere else. how can so many people be so close to each other, and out and doing things, and be so quiet? are you quiet?