Shorter Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel
Oh yeah? Uh… well, we didn’t need your dumb old bowling congress anyways! We’ll build our own amusement park, with blackjack and hookers! In fact forget the amusement park and the blackjack! Aw, forget the whole thing.
Man, I never knew Milwaukee would act like a scorned wife when a wood-paneled station wagon smelling of stale cigarettes and old Funyons rumbled and backfired its way out of town.
On second thought, I guess it does all make sense.
AA v 77, flop 998, turn T, river J. Arrr, matey, my stack be gone.
We were both all-in preflop, by the way.
It’s funny to go back in time to when you were outraged that gas costed half as much as it does now.
Holy shit, another blast from the past:
First person that posts a link to the story this came from gets $5 Whazzmaster.com Store Credit:
http://whazzmaster.com/2003/02/17/this-weekend-was-fa-bu-lo-us/
I think this is it
I think this is it
Correct. I also would have accepted “Google ‘There is a guy that exists and plays college basketball whose name is Butter Johnson. site:whaazzmaster.com’ | whazzmaster.com comment entry form”
Google is Teh Suck. It knows too much.
Super fun night at Ho-Chunk last night. Big craps roll, some Omaha Hi/Lo 4-8 half kill limit, and then stood next to some guy at the craps table who had about $7000 in front of him, all in black chips (I never before noticed that Ho-Chunk doesn’t have any higher denomination chips). On the way home, to celebrate: Pine Cone. Monsieur, your finest Chicken Filet Breakfast Special, please! I mean, it is 3am, which is technically ‘morning.’ And an apple fritter to go.
Unnnnhhhhh, I’m pullllllllin it pulllllllllin it.
That’s a cut off my next album: Unnnnnhh (Pullin It)
Took another 1st and a 2nd in the $6.50 45 man turbo. I like that game; thanks for telling me about it Scientist.
Scientist, I’m in the $11 $15,000 guaranteed at 11am (pacific). Get in.
8 minutes til kickoff and… UNNNNNHHHHHHH I’m PULLLLLLIN IT!
Anyone? Anyone? You? You?
BLOOOOOOGGGGGSSTTTOOOORRRRMMMMM!
Still in the hunt with 800 left.
Need chips…
Finished 256th of 2582. TT vs 34, board: [2s 5h Tc 8h] [6c]
Bullshit.
like scientists are up at 11am…. UNNNNHHHHHNNNNNNN
Unnnnnnnnnh Not pullllllllin it pulllllllin it anymore
7th in chips at the first break in the $10 PLOITER
2nd place with 66 left
Things aren’t looking up. They are instead looking down.
Things are now on an even keel.
4th with 42 left
3rd with 27 left, no bubble today
blargo, no cards and a short stack.
cash infusion, final table inclusion
…maybe
final table
I’m in 9th place of 9 by a mile. I will get rich or die trying.
8th place… I died trying.
Do any whazzers want in on an NCAA tournament pool? Go to this page and create an entry. The group name is “Whazz Pool” and the password is “favre”. It is a progressive points pool and I’m putting up a 12 pack of Miller High Life for the winner. Good luck!
A funny user review of No Country For Old Men on the Metacritic website:
linda gave it a 0 (of 100):
Are you kidding? this is one of the best out of hollywood? truely sucked, what’s the sequel gonna be called? no country for old women? can’t remember the last movie i hated so much.
america has been in a “severely dislike” phase… it’s good to see people getting back to the hate.hate.hate that got us all here. hate.
i hate you linda. i didn’t even go see that movie… guess that makes me smarter than you. linda, you are dumber than me, and i hate you.
i mean, what could posibly come next? no continent for young mexicans?! no cunt, refer, old WOMEN?! WHERE COULD THEY GO?! DUMB! it’s like they named the movie “no ending” and then didn’t even make an ending for it!#!#%*&^!#%
you know what movie i hated? invasion. scientology propeganda. also, not enough tits.
Stars was rough on me last night and this morning. Boned, boned, boned on many hands. I’m taking a break for a few days.
peterstiffly: I can’t get into the bracket; it says I need an invite email. There’s nowhere it will let me put in Whazz Poll and favre.
what did the podiatrist order at the italian restaurant?
spaghetti and feet balls.
Really got fucked right up the ass today in poker. JJ vs KQ lost, KK vs AQ lost, AK vs AQ lost. Fucked up the ass.
that’s karma. you were supposed to still be on break.
hey madd where’s your pal fornier? that guy needs to sign up for the dinger league! email him or call him or something ok? here is dinger league information:
League ID = 210489
Password = password
madd are you around on friday? i’ll duck out of school early and come over and watch the helicoptors
i should be here. rach-o keeps talking about secret plans, but i’ve been assured i don’t have to leave the city. WHAT COULD IT BE!?!?! MAYBE RIDE IN A REAL HELICHOPPER AROUND THE CITY WITH GREG! )#@(&%)(@#&SECRET PLANS
cal, did you see that dave chappelle was at cobb’s comedy shanty last saturday night? some other chump cancelled and dude filled in. i missed it
instead we went the saturday before to see fucking ZOLTAR from DUDE! where’s my car?
pffffffffft
it’s ZOLTAN you nerd
maybe you’re confusing him with the GI JOE guy ZARTAN who changed color in the sun? awesome.
http://www.yojoe.com/filecard/84/zartan.shtml
most whazzers agree that i must have had european military academy training too. awesome.
what can’t you learn on wikipedia?
Also, ‘Zartan’ is an anagram of ‘Tarzan’. Although it has not been stated what the connection is, the general explanation seems to be their love for the jungle/swamp.
zoltar made tom hanks big
ZOLTAN!
ZOLTAR!
Zoltar also gives out “buy one $1 michelob get one free” coupons outside Casino Royale.
zartan has too numerous an amount of aliases to even list 1. can i just assume zoltan and zoltar are both on that list?
Can someone call Scott 4ngina and get him to sign up for dinger league?
kangaroo nutsack nazi-balls?
Yo cal,
Cal me when the dinger draft goee– I want to swoop in and look through the muck.
i’ve had a request for the dinger league so we’re in a holding pattern… will update you shortly
CALling MADD. come in MADD. i sent you a message via text but you don’t respond is it because you are rushing around changing back and fourth into women’s clothes a la Mrs. Doubtfire? or what?
ZAMFIR!.
Dudes,
I don’t know what to do about opening day. Shitty $12 tickets are going for $80.
Options at this point:
1. Suck it up and pay.
2. Go to the game and hope to find cheaper tickets.
3. Fuck it and do something else for opening day.
Honestly, I am not too excited about going to the game. I still like listening on the radio and watching on tv but it’s getting too difficult to see games live. The price of the tickets, the traffic jams and all fuckelse make me not want to go. I like packer games, but I can only handle going to one a year. Brewers are getting to be the same way.
When you figure the price of the ticket, hotel, beer and brats, it is almost more cost effective to fly to vegas and watch the game in a sportsbook.
What are your thoughts?
skip it! SKIP. IT.
wait til the brewers suck again and then go. or drive down to Kansas City and take in a Royals game… ahh to be alone in a stadium… to stretch out and take up three rows… bliss… county stadium we hardly knew ye…
remember when that drunk mascot (bernie?) would slide down into the beer? your dome is retractable but at what cost??? AT WHAT COST!
racing sausages are still cool though. actually bernie sucked pretty much. PROGRES!
One time I was at a game and the little kid sitting in front of me told his pal that Bernie used to slide into a cup of coffee. Dumb kid.
GREG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What’s up whazzers?
Greetings from Freak Town.
Where in the hell is that?
do they have a denny’s?
South Milwaukee?
I’m trying to broker a deal with Greg for Corey Hart.
Stay tuned.
J, are you still with newscaster? does he ever tug his ear to say hi? does he know you’re in freak town?
Negotiations have stalled…
Here’s the link to the blog by a former WWE writer.
sniper team bravo has the shot. permission to fire, sir?
oh shit, love. gay love.
i checked the full timestamp: 4 seconds apart. this calls for a 45 man turbo! hurrah!
Bubbled out of another turbo. Five straight finishes at 8th or 9th place. Top seven pay. Fuck everyone.
45 man turbos FOR EVERYONE#!)(&%)!#(&%!)(#*%&(@*#^%
man, i love march maddddness.
dickie V. win or go home.
dukie. haha
DIPSY DOO!!!##%)*(&!#%
From JS online.
Cactus juice: Fans of the since-renamed World Wrestling Federation got a treat as former Intercontinental champion Honky Tonk Man attended the game as a friend of Brewers director of public relations Mike Vassallo. He sat in the third row near the Brewers dugout in all black attire with his trademark Elvis Presley-style hair, sideburns intact. Honky Tonk had lunch with reporters where he discussed some of his favorite, or not-so-favorite, WWF friends and foes. He said the hardest wrestler to work with was the Ultimate Warrior, the man who ended Honky Tonk’s reign as the longest-standing Intercontinental champ, a record that still stands in World Wrestling Entertainment.
Dude, 45 man turbos are a real weird way to try and make a living.
The pay structure, turbo factor and teeny buy in make it an impossible game to beat. Plus, didn’t you already triple your buy in? That is a major feat at those stakes. Even with all these bubbles you have a HUGE return on your investment plus you’ve had a ton of action. In short, you won.
madddddddddd props: safeway select brand butterfinger ice cream. it’s exactly like a butterfinger blizzard from DQ, but it’s super cheap and you get a gallon of it.
Went to the gym today for a quick cardio session. Spacebee and I got to the underground parking structure before realizing that it was closed for Easter. Damn christians. Anyways, our replacement strategy was to go eat lunch at BW3.
BUSH BOYS COMIN’ THE BUSH BOYS COMIN’ BUSH BOYS COMIN’ THE BUSH BOYS COMIN’!
Just got elephant fucked in a ploiter. Woulda scooped a huge pot if only a 2 doesn’t hit the river. What hits the river? 2. I don’t know how much river ratfucking I can take.
OVERBOATED ON THE RIVER. ^%$&%^#$%$@#^$%&%^$&^%$^%$#
%$&^%#&$^%#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^$%#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^$%#^$%#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#^%$#
chinese hackers, dude. chinese hackers.
have you seen any dj dougg pound? much respek.
“in
the
mix”
dude girls left him for another man, and took his antique adding machine with her. he confronts her.
“you calculating bitch!”
OK, I know that given a million coin flips, the millionth+1 has the same chance as the first one: 50% (not taking into account the subtle shape differences of the average american coin). However, I’m pretty sure you multiply the odds when discussing consecutive coin flips. I.e., what is the chance that 5 coin flips will all fall heads. If I remember correctly, it is 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2 x 1/2 or 1/2^5 = 1/32 or 3%. I bring this up because I’ve been boned out of many, many tourney’s lately by being on the bad end of a coin flip (overcards vs. pocket pair, most of the time). That, in and of itself, is not surprising as that’s the way many people end up busting out (let’s assume that if you get into several coin flip situations it will even out the 52%/48% edge you get with the pocket pair). My point: to win even a moderately-sized tournament, you’ll need to either win an increasingly crazy number of consecutive coin flips (where your entire stack is at stake) or don’t put yourself into situations where you need to win coin flips to stay alive. I’m sure this is all elementary to you old hands, but since I’ve been playing many tourneys lately it’s burrowed into my brain as I bubble out of them.
Why did I put myself on the line with JJ? Well, it’s a pretty good hand, and the blinds are going up and if I don’t want to ‘cling to the train’ at the bubble I need to move up. So does this suggest that playing mid- to high-pocket pairs aggresively correlates to your mindset of “Get Rich or Die Tryin” versus “I’d rather make 1.01x my buyin by going out 1 after the bubble” folding mid-position raised JJ to a push on the button by the huge stack? I mean, dude had AQ in my case and flopped the Q. I see that particular play as a case of “oh well, you got your money in.” I’m now talking about more of a longer term strategy view of things.
I am a weiner, and possibly a whiner.
BTW– I’m not just talking about turbos, which as wwhazz states have their own weird gravity and rules. And halfway through a turbo you’re making very similar decisions to when you’re close to the bubble and leaking chips.
A8 vs A5 on the bubble. RIVER FIVE! BOOOOOOOOOM. UNDER-DOMINATION. When’s the last time I WON a hand where I was dominating? Answer: I can’t fucking remember now.
Fucking motherfucking chinese hackers.
That fucking 7th bubble was the last goddamned motherfucking straw. CASHOUT MOTHERFUCKERS, I still doubled my money against you fucking cheating pieces of shit. I’ll walk away happy with the knowledge that PokerStars is a dumbfuck place to play poker.
you calculating bitch!
i just got mexican queef raped too. i’d cash out too if the cashout amount was higher than a night out getting shitty. so instead i just got shitty.
sexual eruppppppptionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.
I’ve been on a Stars slide too. I had my shit up to three bills but now it’s down to $7 and I’m serving a two week chat ban for telling some dude to get aids and die.
Grindin in a .02-.05 game! Holllarit!
and a 2.20 heads up ploiter
Ok, I tHink they are cheating for real. How did I lose?
PokerStars Game #16302713369: Tournament #82544897, $2.00+$0.20 Omaha Hi/Lo Pot Limit – Match Round I, Level III (15/30) – 2008/03/27 – 23:45:35 (ET)
Table ’82544897 1′ 2-max Seat #2 is the button
Seat 1: gizzy186 (1995 in chips)
Seat 2: coachpytel (1005 in chips)
coachpytel: posts small blind 15
gizzy186: posts big blind 30
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to gizzy186 [3s 2h 7h Qh]
coachpytel: raises 30 to 60
gizzy186: calls 30
*** FLOP *** [Th 8d 9c]
gizzy186: checks
coachpytel: bets 90
gizzy186: calls 90
*** TURN *** [Th 8d 9c] [Jc]
gizzy186: checks
coachpytel: bets 300
gizzy186: calls 300
*** RIVER *** [Th 8d 9c Jc] [9h]
gizzy186: checks
coachpytel: checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
gizzy186: shows [3s 2h 7h Qh] (HI: a pair of Nines)
coachpytel: shows [Ah 8h As 7d] (HI: a straight, Seven to Jack)
coachpytel collected 900 from pot
No low hand qualified
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 900 | Rake 0
Board [Th 8d 9c Jc 9h]
Seat 1: gizzy186 (big blind) showed [3s 2h 7h Qh] and lost with HI: a pair of Nines
Seat 2: coachpytel (button) (small blind) showed [Ah 8h As 7d] and won (900) with HI: a straight, Seven to Jack
Duh, never mind…
I still won though. Registered in a 5.50 multi and 4.40 to rock with, and I got Hart off Greg. I had to give up Carlos Beltran but I also got Todd Jones off him.
Yo kids remember him? Round 98′ or so he was the king Brewer.
$.00
Noooooooooo… back up to $6. greg!
.02 limit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wow… after a long 24 hours of straight work accomplishing a difficult goal… as i cracked a beer winding down for sleep my tv begins to sing…
DRUNKS AND LOSERS! DWARFS WITH LIMPS!
FLOS AND HOS AND ONE EYED PIMPS!
DOWN THE ALLEY-WAY THEY CREEP!
THEY’RE ALL YOUR FRIENDS WHEN YOU CAN’T SLEEP!
holy christ a 3 episode MARATHON uncut/unedited. thank you comedy central. seriously. thanks. good timing on that one. tonight i dedicate my lack of sleep to insomniac.
you have to play 2 cards… 789TJQ is a 6 card straight if you play your Q and 7… all you have is a pair of 9.
they are cheating for real. i’m under 100.