HOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGAAAAAAAAN!
We’re gonna have an old-fashioned, midwest/west coast rivalry here on wm.com (wrestlemania.com?). Wrestlemania ex-ex-eye-vee starts at 6pm Central (4pm Pacific). The free Battle Royal starts at 5:30pm Central (3:30pm Pacific). The Midwest Regional is at Moneypenny’s place in Madison. The West Coast Regional is either at GMX’s place, or at some Swedish Chef’s house.
The Rules
- Everyone makes a prediction as to the outcome of the match.
- Your pick must be in stone before the opening bell rings.
- If your pick is not in by the opening bell, drink a penalty beer or shot.
- If your pick does not win, Stone Cold a beer or do a shot.
- There must be a pinfall or submission (or knockout, I suppose). If the finish is a DQ, no contest, or if Doink the Clown ruins the match the bet for that match is off.
- Side bets are allowed and encouraged.
- You can choose to double or nothing any bets for the purposes of tomorrow’s Opening Day matchup between the Brewers and Cubs at Wrigley (ugh) Field.
- Post results, side bets, etc. to whazzmaster.com
- Flair chops on the scientist are always welcome.
Gentlemen, start your engines…
Anyone want to set the over under on the number of Flair chops handed out during the match or Flair flops or top rope attempts only to be thrown off by Flair?
Also I have a carry-over bet from yesterday. Double or nothing that Flair cries after his match today (a tear must break the plain). I (barely) lost that Flair would cry during his HOF speech (such a rock that man is).
This might make things easier:
WWE Title Match
Randy Orton vs. Triple H vs. John Cena
World Title Match
Edge vs. The Undertaker
ECW Title Match
Chavo Guerrero vs. Winner of 24-Man Battle Royal
No Holds Barred Match
The Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
Ric Flair’s Career On The Line
Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. John Morrison vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin
Smackdown vs. RAW
Batista vs. Umaga
Belfast Brawl
Finlay vs. JBL
Bunnymania Lumberjack Match
Maria & Ashley vs. Melina & Beth Phoenix
24-Man Battle Royal
Winner Faces Chavo Guerrero for ECW Title
Participants:
* Snitsky
* Brian Kendrick
* Stevie Richards
* The Miz
* Trevor Murdoch
* Lance Cade
* Deuce
* Domino
* Chuck Palumbo
* Mark Henry
* Elijah Burke
* The Great Khali
* Val Venis
* Jamie Noble
* Jimmy Wang Yang
* Shannon Moore
* Hacksaw Jim Duggan
* Hardcore Holly
* Cody Rhodes
* Kane
* Kofi Kingston
* Tommy Dreamer
* Jessie
* Festus
SCHNITSKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m taking Kane for the 24 man battle royal
Side Bets?!?!
It’s only me and lawman here right now. No wwhazz or peterstiffly.
Lonnie is making picks
Informer!
I say if your pick does not win the battle royal you mush take chavo in the ECW match. Debates?
Just got a hold of Blaine. On my way to “The Swedish Chef’s” house. Here are my picks for the whole thing in case of car wreck:
1. Kane (battle royal)
2. Maria & Ashley
3. Finlay
4. Umaga
5. CM Punk
6. HBK (boo)
7. Mayweather
8. Kane (ECW Match)
9. Undertaker(Bigger boo)
10. HHH
shite. can’t get it here… internet too slow and analog cable. I pick the last guy in the ring in every fight.
WWE Title Match: Randy Orton
World Title Match: The Undertaker
ECW Title Match: Guerrero
No Holds Barred Match: Big Show
Ric Flair’s Career On The Line: Shawn Michaels
Money in the Bank Ladder Match: Jericho
Smackdown vs. RAW: Batista
Belfast Brawl: JBL
Bunnymania Lumberjack Match: Maria & Ashley
24-Man Battle Royal: Hardcore Holly
1. Elijah Burke
2. Maria & Ashley
3. Finlay
4. Batista
5. MVP
6. Shawn Michaels
7. Floyd Mayweather
8. Chavo Guerrero
9. Undertaker
10. HHH
AND SO IT BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, Blaine and I are drinking Mickey’s grenades and shots of bushmills and patron
1. No on was here for the battle royal. No contest.
2. Maria & Ashley
3. JBL
4. Batista
5. JERICHO~!
6. Ric Flair
7. Mayweather
8. KANE~!
9. Undertaker
10. Cena
We’ve got Miller Genuine Draft Light In-A-Can, and two kinds of scotch. And lawman’s homemade pulled pork and baked beans. BEANS~~~~~~~~~~!
wtf dAVIDSON?
anyone taking the spanish announcer table bet?
All my $$ is on an Umaga/Taker two teamer.
Spanish table is going dizown..
Informer.
I will go against my better judgement and take the spanish table to stay up for one shot.
Ryan – “You can’t just beat up midgets.”
Blaine – “Sure you can, you’d beat one up.”
Ryan – “I’d eff a midget up.”
who won the battle royal, couldn’t see it
I’ll take the spanish table bet.
Why didn’t the midget interfere?!?! I HATE MIDGETS!!!!!
Kane won the battle royal.
Drinking update:
Ryan – 1 beer and 1 shot
Blaine – 1 beer and 1 shot
Chili is also started
Zach: two beers.
thanks to matt hardy lonnie will not win
I think Jericho lost because Davidson sucked it up.
SNOOP, SNOOP-A-LOOP
Freddie Prinze Jr looks like he has AIDS
NO way dude, it’s the HerpaGon-High Five trifecta.
Ryan – 1 1/2 beers, 1 shot
Blaine – 1 1/2 beers, 2 shots
So far my upsets have not come in.
Man that was horsepoo.
HOLY SHIT! KANE IS MY HERO! What was that like 3 seconds?!?!
Wwhazz is in for 2 shots and a coupla beers. He has been universally wrong.
I’ve actually won every match but the money in the bank.
I don’t know about anyone else but I may get teary-eyed for Flair’s last match.
Blaine just french-rolled some warm-up pants. WOW!
A nice and tight french roll, I’m impressed.
Just took a shot to for Space Mountain…..also he looks like a peacock.
Wwhazz wants to know who is GMX’s legit favorite wrestler.
“How old will Stone Cold live to be? Fifty-eight, tops?”
1. Flair
2. Stone Cold
3. HHH
Flair off the top rope!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where does Cena rate, in your book?
My favorite wrestler is Max Moon. From Uranus.
HBK IS NOW A GOD. HURT AND STILL WRESTLES
Dude’s scalp is showing.
So are his ribs.
RICK FLAIR WILL WIN THIS MATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jR: “where’d that come from?!”
holy mother of god!
GO FLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR
It’s a haberdashery!!
That wasn’t legal: Michaels said “I love you.”
Ric Flair should run over Shawn Michaels in the parking lot. Tire treads are legal.
Babbity-boopy?
The Herkimer.
I’m mad at all those fans who didn’t start a chant for Flair…..WEAK ASS EXIT
I think undertaker is actually an undead zombie at this point.
Shaun of the dead-esque?
Those paparazzis are fake!
So are the breasts
Ryan – “this is effing horrible man.”
Ryan – “flair is probably in back punching mcmahon in the balls.”
Ryan – “oh, hold on, it’s dark because nobody cares now that Flair is gone.”
P.S. Ryan is upset, a lot.
The night the lights went out in Orlando!
WTF is going on in orlando?
Put GMX on the webcam.
Flair hit the circuit breaker and said screw you for letting the divas “wrestle” after a legend
Is this the Davidson marching band?
Update:
Ryan is still very much upset.
>> Is this the Davidson marching band?
wwhazz sez: “who gives a shit?”
The white man.
Ryan – “you can’t use a dead wrestler’s move and not win.”
Ryan – “he killed his family, he’s bad ass.”
WOW.
The only reason Undertaker and Edge haven’t come out yet is cause Flair broke Taker’s other hip
Where’s Paul Larson?
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it’s the Big Show
Well…. it’s the big show.
Those are nice pants.
hfou hfdLKJDNFCLKJDSAFkjd
I think GMC got hacked by the internet. Blaine is ok.
I hope Undertaker’s hip melts and his hair starts on fire when he comes out
Double Love. 40-Love.
UM GROSS EDGE AND GROSS-WOMAN
Eddie Guererro should come back from the dead and help Undertaker win. That’s what Paul Bearer is for: to provide for Just-In-Time resurrections.
The whole making out with the chick in the wheelchair was interesting…
Ryan is still very much upset. He’s beginning to scare me.
You’re only badass if you have a start tattoo on your arm.
*star tattoo…
Eddie Guererro should steal Zach Gowen’s leg again
Actually, Undertaker should be able to call forth legions of dead wrestlers to do his bidding. Such as Bam Bam Bigelow.
Casperson “money” Blaineweather
nice
I hope the “Suspicious Janitor” wins
Betcha 4nyay is somewhere in the thailand watching this on the inernet.
REST HOLD! REST HOLD! REST HOLD!
yeah boo yeah boo
one six and xaero.
I can’t believe it!
I wish Taker could carry a match on his own
He’s now a 6 time douche bag
Casper doggie is so very upset at this point in time…
son of shit. $55 tourney… AA vs AKc and 56c 3 way all in JcQs2d flop.
it comes club club and i’m out 62nd instead of being in the top 5.
i drank enough to cover losing all my bets. i hope i won some.
GMX: inbound 4nyay through thurs… i’m rolling down one of the nights if you want to ride durrrty.
Blain: this is also true.
Chef Boyardee: i love your mini-ravioli and spaghetti and meat balls. some of the rest of your shit is butt and you know it, bu those ones are ok.
this guy: please come too. i’ll drive. we can get crazy conversions.
don’t use bold, use strong. cause if you use bold thats old and wrong. use css and your page’ll load quicker…..
oh my.
BOOM BOOM BERNANKE BLOWS SMOKE UP AMERICA’S KEISTER. FILM AT ELEVEN. ALSO: WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT CAT LITTLER COULD KILL YOU!!
Yo,
Can you tivo UFC fight night and the new Ultimate Fighter? I really want to see it but I’m too busy tonight. If you do, I’ll cooked scrambled eggs and watch it with you on Thursday (BREAKFAST FOR DINNER MOTHER FUCKERS). Interested?
Also, a big part of me thinks that this new opening day ticket scam is just another scam (virtual waiting room? Pfffffffft!) but I’d like to give it a try. If we can get a cheap-o obstructed view ticket, I’ll take it and just stand the whole game. Also, I have no problem parking way back on Bluemound and taking a 5K walk into the stadium. I can drive too; I just won’t drink.
I don’t know. I guess I’m open to suggestions. I think that Jess wants to go and I owe her after the Wrestlmainia/Opening day disappearance, but she also wants to see you guys, so if you’re not in then she might want to stay. I’m up for either but if the tickets are cheap, I’d rather go.
Long story short: we will settle it with a bra and panties match.
i tried to get the fight night on tivo and it overlapped with americas next top model so rachel threw a fit because “wednesdays are my big days… americas next top model and american idol” she is very patriotic. good thing there is a re-run later tonight and i have enough booze to escape until it’s on.
long story short: tyra banks is a fake ass ho. i would have no problems choking her out in the b&p.
MMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…
1. I’ll see what I can do about tivo’ing that stuff. Stacy has me taping American Idol since she’s at work, so I’m not sure about the overlap.
2. About Opening Day: I’m not excited that brewers are such asses about this whole pile of shit. I had accepted not going long ago, and made many many plans that I wouldn’t have otherwise. Stacy’s working til late Thursday, and doesn’t like the idea of waking up immediately and driving to Milwaukee (on top of the fact that she’s doing me a solid just by going). Plus we’d like to be back in town at a decent hour since we have to wake up early the next morning to go see my parents. Also, since we were not planning on going until yesterday, Stacy had invited some coworkers to come over for a cookout/watch the game. Also: we all have off on Friday and it’s supposed to be beautiful outside. I’d rather cook out here and then watch the game and then run around Madison for the rest of the day. Basically, as wwhazz said a couple of weeks ago, “we can go to 100 tuesday night games for less money and with less hassle than opening day.” I agreed then and I agree now. The fact that the team took its head out of its ass for 7 seconds and is offering last minute tickets online doesn’t help those of us driving in from out of town.
3. The Crew HAS, however, opened up a 4-1 lead in the sixth. Taking a series from the Cubbies to start the season would be nice.
Wirkus and Jess, if you want to try to get tickets, I’m in, or I will try tomorrow or whatever we need to do. But I am not at all confident we are going to get tickets. I have to imagine that tomorrow’s auction or whatever will be a tremendous mess.
Spoke too soon re: today’s game, of course. 5-2 bottom of the seventh. Torres comes in, gives up single, followed by 3 straight balls. Uggo-uggo
Riske is up in the pen. Torres gives up another single. Cubs have runners on the corners with one out.
Barf.
Torres gets out of the inning. Huzzah.
a mitzvah in the 9th awaits
MITZVAH! Riske looked good again today.
i just saw some jackhole doing an ad for some lupus charity because his youngest daughter has it.
the ad tag line for the charity: lupus… get into the loop.
not get in the loop… get INTO the loop. LOOP. like LUPus. GET INTO IT.
maybe that is how your daughter got it in the first place jackhole.
You can go back in time using the following methods:
1. Slingshot around the sun (useful to find whales)
2. Fly around the earth opposite it’s rotation (really fast)
3. Get an old aluminum car up to 88 miles per hour (fusion required)
Any that I forgot?
4. Quantum physics (may simply enter and alternate timeline that appears as the past, though)
You got a corpse in your back yard. Worry about that.
Comedy gold on BET, Black Poker Stars Invitational. Anthony Anderson or Eddie Griffin or Faizon Love stole Kevin Hart’s card protector. Someone might get shot.
Bang Bang
god damn it. then i want to check out the new show DEA on spike… hoping it is a cross between the wire, homicide: life on the street and how high. then rach-o cancels it to record the real world awards.
gah.
i’m overdosing on green tea right now. the real shit. lipton.
the good doctor pushed his flight back to 8pm, so everyone to the english pub until then. supposedly there is a hot bartender who bongs car bombs or something as equally appealing to problem drinkers. bring out the hot mess! perform!
5. crouch down naked in an energy sphere.
6. say “oh boy!” then ask al where you are.
^@#&@#&@#& THE )(#&)@#^( REAL WORLD #)%^&@#)^(&@^ AAAAAA()#!%&*!)#(*& WARDS#)%(*&@#()*^&@#^
R U JOKIN’ ME?!
FIGHT NIGHT LIVE STARTS NOW!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
wednesdays are big days for me.
i think they got the old dj from waves to do the beat on this biatch. asian dance party, not creed jr.
actually both.
dana white brings people together. but would he be as successful if his name was dana black? no.
FIX! FIX!
boooooooooooooooooo
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
james the fix irvin.
i knew your sister alice
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
hey whazzman, how big is your boner for forbidden kingdom?
jackie chan, jet li. 2 man enter. 1 man leave. chris tucker cameo? better be.
MOVE! i’m in the ring blah blah blah MOVE! MOVE! this is my hooooommmmmmme.
IT’S YOUR MAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNN EVENT
MOVE! BOOM! something something like weee doooooooooo
MOVE!(#*%&!(#*%&
i got joe. shots of seagrams if i lose. 4am shots. LIQUOR FOR BREAKFAST! BUT IT’S DINNER!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i already did the shots. i know kenny is going to win.
what a dumb pick.
ANNNNNNNNND NOW!
LIIIIIIIVE
from my COOOOOOOOOUCH
IT’S TIIIIIIIME!
jlo vs kenlo = lol
Virtual waiting room. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Any tickets left for your party?
So… uh, how’s that virtual waiting room?
From what wwhazz said, it sounds like a virtual cock-up.
The virtual waiting room was a gateway to an actual kick in the balls. They didn’t even have 3 SRO tickets. And the password they gave me didn’t work. Did you know that there is a parking option at Miller Park that costs $400?
Weeks just knocked the Cubs catcher Soto on his ass when the play at the plate wasn’t close. He did it, as Brian Anderson said, “just for kicks.”
Brewers down 3-6 in the 8th, Fielder’s on with one out and Braun up.
That rally ended quickly.
Welcome to Act I of the Derek-Turnbow-Hits-A-Guy-Then-Goes-Nuts Show. It is a two act show.
I just ate a big ole bowl of popcorn. I drank a glass of water with it. Did you know that popped corn is an excellent source of fiber?
did you know that popcorn was invented by an african american?
that was a lie. popcorn was invented by orville reddenbacher, who turned 98 today.
subway $5 footlongs ad campaign: you are dumb.
ok ad genius, what do we need to say? $5 footlongs! that’s what! how can we do it? PANTAMIME! ok… how can we say “5″… a HAND! ok, how can we say foot long… THE OTHER HAND… HOLD THEM 12 INCHES APART! DONE! time for lunch on the corporate account. i’ll have a sam adams.
IDIOTS: IT’S CALLED A FOOT BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT THE SIZE OF A FOOT! YOU CAN SAY “5″ WITH A FOOT THE SAME AS A HAND… AND THEN YOU WOULDN’T NEED THE OTHER HAND. if you were going for simplest pantamime… YOU FAILED. 1 foot. i can name that shitty ad campaign idea in 1 foot. name that shitty ad campaign. subway. YOU WIN!#()%*&!()#*%&!)#%*^(!#(*
Someone could signal with their foot, fall and break their neck, BAM!, and that’s a tort. 2 Legit 2 quit did not use feet. Sub eaters are built and trained for hand movement.
you are proving my point… 2 legit 2 quit was great. possibly the most complex thing anyone could say with 1 hand ever throughout all of evolutions potential. bringing in a 2nd hand for something as simple as $5 footlong is extremely wasteful and unnecessary. is subway aware of the ramifications of global warming? what about the ramifications of making such tasty toasted meatball subs with provolone cheese, pickles and parmesan/oregano so affordable to people that can’t control their eating habits? in one retarded swoop subway has undone all the great things jarrod accomplished. more like $5 waste of 2 hands when we’re talking about FEET!#(*%^&!#(%*&!#^
the ad should have been video from REAL subway employees flipping trays full of subs in the air and crazily ranting “FUCK EVERYTHING! WE’RE GOING TO $5!” get like 22 of those. rotate them 6 per ad. then after about the 3rd week start introducing video of the employees emptying their wallets and throwing money at the costomers. then in the final run week, jarrod. nude.
oh man, and he’s crying and fucking a goat… and he wimpers “fuck everything.” and he’s WAAAAAAYYYY fat. like 2 old jarrods. and the goat is tiny. relative.
dear UPS,
get that hippy of my damn tv.
cal
did anyone else catch joe rogan say matt hamill used a “rape choke”?
thassa lotta comments
Here you go, scientist.
Damn, you already posted about it in this very thread. I’m six days behind the internet. In internet time, that shit’s from the 7th fucking century.
Studies have shown that the media adversely affects the effectiveness of rape chokes in today’s society.
now the internet is making fun of vocoders.
cal, i think you saw a zappos commercial. not sure if they are related to UPS, but they certainly wear earth tone uniforms. UPS did trademark “brown” as a word… do they have a tort if zappos start showing hippies in brownish uniforms and cal confuses the 2 and gets mad at the wrong people lowering their brand value?
farrrrrrrrrrrt
Rrrrrrrrrrip!
Omaha hi cash game = insane.
Call an all in after flooping a set and the nut flush draw, holler out (cuz I’m chat banned in the USA), “I got the nizzles, son” and lose to a str8 flush.
That’s poker
THAT’S BULLSHIT!
Push with The Big Wrap and the (2nd)nut flush draw and lose to running tens making weak ass trips.
I dumped a lot of money learning (but not really… $10 buy in) but I think there is potential here.
I AM RODDY PIPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!
baRF. kansas wins champeenchip.
no dude it was UPS – that hippy who draws cartoons on the “whiteboard” you know what UPS? you suck. cool new whazzmaster!!!!! i might flunk out of school ps