The Brewer game ended in exciting fashion yesterday, with Weeks sliding in under the tag to walk-off in style in front of thousands of baby bear fans. As is expected, my text messages, Facebook, and Twitter blew up afterwards as the revelry began in earnest.
I don’t like what I’ve seen from Seth McClung so far this year, but he is a good pitcher and hopefully he’ll settle down in time. We’re at .500 ball so far, folks, and taking the first of the season-long series from the cubs is a great start to division play.
Tonight’s game starts at 6:05p central. Don’t get used to daily Brewers updates from me– start of the season + Cubs = lots of excitement.
Today is chores day and then bike trip. Lazy spring dayz.
Pffffffffffft!
That was a pretty terrible way to lose the game. In Carlos I Used to Trust.
robbed salami was sad
maybe next to the “leave comment” button you could add “cry about brewers” button that would just be javascript that would make the comment text “* brewers cry *” and submit the form. then you don’t have to comment about every game you lose, you can just click a button.
oh, and haikus.
* brewers cry *
cal, rooting aloud
he does not speak of the crew
a sonnet for greg
get up, get out of here, he caught it.
you know those sticky octopuses you could get at piggy wiggly for 50c? they sell on ebay for $50 now. wacky wall walkers. those things would walk down the wall. there was an intelligence to their walking… like they wanted you to think it was random. like one of them lizards that’s all jerky. so wacky.
brewers cry: good idea
* brewers cry *
And there you go
That game stunk from top (lead off dinger by Sorryasshole) to bottom of the ninth (fat man stinking out with runners on and a chance to win the game for the second night in a row).
The walk bonanza was also enraging. They scored like 4 runs on 1 hit. Way to showcase your talents on Sunday Night Baseball. This was teh crews first invite since 97 or some shit. Maybe we’ll see them again in 2021.
PppppppFFFFFFFFpppppFfffffTTTTTTTTTTTTttttt~SPLAT! Oops, pooped ‘em.
BUT:
It’s early in the season. Even with all our snafus we were still in the game.
If we go back to the type of offensive ball we were playing in SF I think we will be ok. And I don’t mean our “offensive” pitching. I mean our running and swinging for hits, not dingers ever AB. I mean WTF, Cubs backup catcher and we attempt… zero steals when a few games previous Camaroon stole like three by himself. Why did we stop? And Braun started the year going 2-3 and shit like that now he’s swinging out of his shoes every time. FOOL!
To top it off, we didn’t even crush a cubbie skull on our way out of town.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090411&content_id=4226958&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb
Or cuncuss some fool:
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/12631946/
I guess we save that stuff for SF. Youtube around for the clips if you want. They go up and down as MLB finds and deletes them.
Wwwwhazzz… Good Day!
OH. MY. SHIT.
travel channel’s man vs. food. i’ve never seen it, but it seems dude travels around and tries to eat more than he can or should.
in the ad for the latest episode, dude goes to san jose to eat the fucking burritozilla, and they show the iguanas logo out front and cgi some fire coming out of it’s mouth.
fuck you travel channel. ruin everything sacred.
wednesday at 10pm E/P. $3 says sarge is there watching the door.
I know the story but explain that. Bad Boy Bail Bonds?
look at his shirt. they give you one when they bail you out of jail. MARKETING. they also had a rap song and ran local commercials. offices right across the street from jail, with a neon sign and pretty good 800 number you’re sure to remember in the slam: 1-800-BAIL-OUT. “because your momma wants you home”
one of the local poker rooms here advertises on tv during poker shows and their number is 1-800-GAMBLER. much respect for snagging that prime real estate phoenix card club.
one thing that confuses me, i thought iguanas went out of business, and then came back, then went away, then new ownership, then back….. what is the deal there? i bet $20 on something once and the owner held it during the bet, and i won, and then dude wouldn’t give it back and i had to sit there drunk for like 20 minutes saying “dude, give me my money” and he was like probably thinking i was so drunk and would walk away. NEVER. “dude, give me my money”. i eventually got it back. i prob spent $500+ there and dude is trying to snipe me for a twank. low class. i love it.
1-800-CALL-CAL would be awesome.
holy shit… it is thrivent financial’s number! my dad used to work for them. hitting some pretty crazy long shots today.
wacky long shots. 1-800-WHAZZIN is not currently in service.
1-800-WHAZZER is a cold war relic. the WWII era granny is haunting me…
oh my… looking for phone anagrams and falling into rabbit hole. anagram generator for my last name:
http://www.mbhs.edu/~bconnell/cgi-bin/anagram.cgi
RIP IT, STOKE
POKE IRS TIT
I STROKE TIP
SO I PERK TIT
SPIKE? I TORT.
I POSIT TREK
RISK IT POET
I SPORT KITE
TOP KITE SIR
TIPTOE RISK
SPRITE IT, OK? (homage to “sprite, aiight.” campaign)
STRIPE IT, OK? (painting joke)
ESPRIT IT, OK? (middle school jeans?)
IRK TO SPITE
good work brendan! this site’s title should be “Zach’s On-Line Whazzmaster!”
Nice. Did San Diego burn this one into your mind? I still sing it when I’m driving around by myself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi1YtBF6YM0
i don’t remember seeing that one ever. i rock and roll with tivo now… back in the san heezy days we took our tv straight up.
would you bet that brewers have a winning season if you gave them +2 every game?
yes
The King was King of TV, radio, newspapers and bill boards.
what about +1.5 and they needed to be 65%?
i don’t remember dude at all. maybe a bench on river run? i was to be in the lucky lady bar right now with a shot of tequila and a red stripe with 360 sitting in the 4-8 half kill game with papa john at the table.
1st time i met papa john was right after a night of taking his money… hungy, i’m feeling flush so we order out that tasty papa john’s pizza and the mother fucker i know shows up on my door step, points me in the face, “lucky lady!”
a friendship was born as i handed him back his own money.
That dude is a legend. Even Belly has played 2-4 vs him. If I search the whazz archives I bet I can find a recap of my last hand vs dude. I know he took me out with something awesome.
Ah,Lucky Lady. They even had air hockey and chix fried rice.
I’m gonna go search for that hand.
Getting close: I found some last min plans to make a run to TJ for lucha masks, some shit about cow aids, and a reminder that I sold a spot bot to steven for $60 and a 12 pack of high life.
Shitbox: I quit. Can’t find it.
We’re on pace to give up a lot of salamis this year
Yah, it’s still early. I’m kind of sick of being the best team in baseball April 1- May 12 and then nose diving. Maybe we can flip it and be the best in September. Look at the Yanks. They lost by about 2o runs last night and had their 1st baseman pitching.
* brewers cry *
hey,
Maybe make the “cry” button a flag that flies like the W flag at Wrigley. Except we can change it all willy nilly based on our moment to moment reaction to the brewers. You could inclube a brewer logo and either a crying face or a smile face and put it at the top of the page.
Good idear, but that’s gonna take a little longer to implement. What happens during the offseason? The last game result just stays there for 6 months? Or is it hidden during the winter months?
It still works. The wheels keep turning.
off season is generally when they get rid of their most valuable player…. or would the flag already be predicting that?
just hit a g ball in a 22 ploiter and raped at the end of a 55 to get 7th for 2 folds.
my benny clip is the thickest
bowl through the thickets
qualifed tickets
fee waived for admittance
pure profit is the pittance
cal is a lady
what sucks is i bought insurance from jay… he paid 22 near the bubble for 20% cap at $200… so had to pay out 178. tied heads up for another 400 and all in with straight flush draw vs AA… i missed.
would have rather cashed for $67, paid him $13, and made $9 more than i normally would have than have to pay out the max.
fucking insurance)*&@3560*(&^#!1231231232121312321111323333332322211111111111111111111111
rach-o got arrested for driving while talking on a cell phone. court date and all that. she is a felon.
you run with a mean crowd (cal, etc.)
hi! i will represent rach-o in the case of the missing cell phone. whodunit? your honor, meatballs. that is all. the issue here is whether meatballs meatballs meatballs. GRAVATAR!
dudes, i can’t whzzz much these days. between my fantasy baseball responsibilites and finals i am all whazzed out. i’ll be back. love,
cal
Don’t let greg’s schwartz hit you on the way out.
yo cal, if rach-o takes the stand and say “i didn’t do nothin’”, would the judge or lawyer as her again if she did anything, or the fact be stipulated that she did nothing, or would it be that she did something? or is it irrelevant because in some sense we are all always doing something?
what are the laws on double speak and slang? i needs to know and i heard your lawyerin’ skills were bad, jack! crazy bad. so bad. baddest lawyer ever.
i stipulate this woman was only pretending to talk on the phone in a desperate attempt to have others believe someone would need or want to talk to her. and is it not society’s fault for putting these unattainable goals of cellular communication into her psyche? in some ways, your honor, are you not responsible entirely for my client pretending to talk on the phone? is pretending to talk on the phone a crime? can i hold a pen in my hand and drive with one hand? what about my arm around a lady friend? can i hold my junk to keep it warm? your honor… can i hold my junk to keep it warm? ….. case dismissed.
you just got lawyer served.
the CHP was on the news tonight… i guess they were doing crackdown all week. the angle they were playing was a felon on parole who got pulled over and sent back to jail for 3 years because the charge they give you is “criminal negligence” and that violated the terms of his parole about criminal charges.
i’m glad these laws are getting through, and the public is laying down to the police. pretty soon the law of it being illegal to be dumb with a punishment of death will be enacted. then i can stop digitally swearing.
also no doubt they are pulling this bs to pay off all the tax returns they don’t have the money for. fucking JOKE. CHP: SUCK A TOE
i got 9 mili shells that i keep to myself
and a mili times 5 if i’m counting my wealth
explodin rockets with the booster…… check.
about to stop you from your future…… check.
fuck a pig
Your D works in A2K cuz we don’t keep cell phone records (we also don’t license dogs).
Last night I had a really neat trifecta going on the lap top: full tilt freeroll, Pride Fighting 33 and police surveillance cameras that caught police doing shady shit.
The freeroll was a hit. I won a $26 ticket. I’m a poker MacGyver at my best with limited resources. Give me a real roll? Problem gambo in my blood.
The Pride was in Las Vegas, so it was weird seeing fans that yelled and moved around instead of the standard sea of silence that you get with a Japanese audience. I like the quiet, respectful Japanese way of watching fights more than the drunken American way. I love when classic sports shows Tyson/Douglas in Japan. Dude does the impossible and takes out Tyson and the crowd just quietly watches.
The youtube videos were cops molesting drunk hookers and beating the shit out of suspects. Um, duh. You put the camera on the wall.
game over when a majority of jails pick up on the trend of charging inmates a daily rate to live there. that is cruel and unusual. there was already a fine paid, and property taxes pay for the jail, and being forced to stay there against your will is levied as a punishment… you can’t fine them, charge taxpayers to build the jails, and then charge the criminals to use them. that is horseshit. i’m going to blow up a jail one day. a big jail.
the biggest jail i can fine. with the booster.
I’m gonna kill a cop one day. A big cop.
i’m going to kill all the cops.
doyle’s bounty starts in 40 min
i busted, jay cashed. i get money back +50%, so still up after paying my way in.
getting some strange results in my scotch freezing as of late… the day out 50% mixed 45:55 with straight scotch and frozen in the door… i’m getting scotch BRAINS. the mushrooms fuse into creased channels. i’m pretty sure i’m creating a form of life. and that life exists so i might consume it and attain peace.
perhaps the gravatars are behind the scotch brains? my freezer just became self aware.
this was glenlivet towards the end of the bottle… in the 50/50 water left overnight, some grain would collect at the bottom. i would use a swirling motion to mix it back up JUST until it seem fully dissipated. then take the pint glass that is about a 1/3 full and make it a little under 3/4 full.
BRAINS.
I think the brains are simply a mushroom without the stalk, and whether you bloom brains or mushrooms is determined by a combination of temperature and water to booze ratio. It goes back to that Mere Haggard interview:
“[George Dickel] did certain things at certain temperatures in a certain kind of water…You take George Dickel and you pour it over ice and hold it up to the light, and it won’t separate. But if you take Jack Daniel’s and do that, hold it up to the light, you’ll notice that the corn oil starts separating from the whiskey, because it hasn’t been married at the correct temperature.”
This separation is the key. When I watch scotch and water mingle in a class, I see that they are not blended. I’m not sure if it’s the scotch or the water, but one of them takes on a tubular shape and actively pushes through the other like burrowing worms pushing through dirt.
As the blend freezes, the active burrowing slows and eventually pushed to the surface like a tiny geyser. That tiny geyser eventually freezes, resulting in the bloom. Sometimes, the bloom has a chance to develop a stalk with a mushroom on top, sometimes not.
Imagine Old Faithful blowing off and someone shooting it with a freeze ray: Scotch mushroom.
Imagine a lazy gurgle pushing from the earth and a slow freeze: Scotch Brain.
If the temperature is too cold, the surface freezes solid, preventing a bloom.
whatever, bill nye, i created LIFE