NUDE POST

It’s the dead of winter and Cal is running around Ramsey County looking for a medallion.  That goddamn shit better turn you into Green Lantern or something, but on the other hand I have enjoyed the lunatic rantings of you idiots talking about baseballs fields, Ken Shamrock, empty hamburger containers, and the limitless nuttiness of Minneapple-folk.

I’ve got nothing else to tell you, unfortunately.  I’m doing some university recruiting this week while Alandovos is out in California interviewing for a spot in my work group, and then on Sunday I’ll be flying out to the Yay Areaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa to do some good ol’ fashioned team offsite stuff.  Ropes course? Fall backwards and have someone catch you? Watch a Jackie Chan movie in our pajamas? I have no goddamned clue.  I do know that I’ll be eating burritos from all my favorite burritotoriums.  I’ll also be flying through the skies while the Super Bowl is under way– good I don’t care what happens anyways.

I love each and every one of you.

245 thoughts on “NUDE POST

  1. I don’t get how this contest deals with park rules such as posted hours and seasonal trail closings.

    I’ve wasted two days of my life on google maps and the St Paul parks and rec sites.

  2. don’t say that! we are in the home stretch! i’m zeroing in on the prize i need my research team in place. im near the watery field… i’m between mccrackin and new brighten way. i’m in a big ass park! i’m nearly there!

    park rules are still in place but all park cops look the other way during the 12 days of this thing. it’s a given that dudes are hunting all night long, but you cant stay up 24 hours straight… hunt all night and i’ll hunt during the day when you are asleep!

    this is not a waste, if somehow i DO NOT find it this is excellent prep for next year when we will all be on the ground.

    i will be out there in three hours. heading straight the elmer trail in schmidt park. under the tunnel (dark of night) continuing on the trail until i meet my wood ducks. i am going to find this thing!

  3. i am very tempted to call off work until late tonight and go find that thing… but alas my job has found me with urgent tasks requiring resolution by end of day, rather than playing tarzan or captain cronyism. ZONG)(&*%)&*!#%

    put me on the payroll. i FLEX.

  4. I love em. Love. Climbing trees is a youthful joy. Ropes save your brain and bones.

    Peapods, I would like to hire you as part of my riddle solving team next year.

  5. I have no idea what is going on with these riddles so I decided to comment on the two words I understood in the post: ropes course. I have vivid memories of being stuck atop a telephone pole in the great northwoods while attached to a couple of ropes (see: ropes course). I was instructed to stand on top of the pole, leap forward, ring a bell that was hanging from a tree in the middle of nowhere and *trust* that a couple of peeps attached to the other end of my ropes would time it just right and run back into the woods with their ropes so that I would not die when I fell from the pole. I guess I must have trust issues – or maybe just a normal & rational fear that jumping off a telephone pole could lead to, at the very least, light bruising – because I didn’t handle it well.

  6. i have vivid memories of standing atop of 50′+ cliff i had jumped off of many times, but now some assholes put a buoy wall right where i used to land. i had told my cousins about it and showed up… i knew it was sketchy, but i put on the show and fulfilled my pledge, and grazed the solid buoy pole as i entered the water that would have skewered me had i landed directly on it.

    i really wish lawyers didn’t ruin public high places to jump off of for everyone else.

  7. most of the boards were buzzing with lawyers that st. paul would take on the liability of sending so many people into other cities… even though the medallion was found in schmidt park in 1988.

    misdirection is key… but demonstrably false misdirection might serve to better those who would beat us.

  8. somewhere along the lawyerin history line, the job changed from reactionary preparedness to avoidance.

    you’d probably get more than 10k to break your leg falling off that duck pole and claiming the newspaper sent you to that fate as you couldn’t turn away a chance at $10,000, what with your crippling debt and all….

    #solidcase

  9. interfacial road is near the northwest corner… and separates the part of the park that has roads shaped like a dickhead from the part of the park that doesn’t have roads shaped like a dickhead.

  10. what is the game plan for when you find the medallion? lift it over your head and scream? stuff it in your crotch and pretend to have twisted your ankle?

    what is the deal with the 100 jeep medallions? have you found any of those?

  11. whazzman, what computer are you running windows 7 home premium on?? why would you need 24GB of RAM? the openVZ virt servers that i manage that run 1000s of accounts have 24GB… is that your home media server?

  12. CLUE NO. 10, SCRAMBLED

    if now then my the benches galore

    and view shore you taken you friend

    right tables to admire from are aback

    are on track gazebos sit the the

    but not or scramble will best land dwell

    your the smell yours to rest and serve

    respect where but nose nearer is sit to

    search you the people follow to end

  13. Clue No. 10
    If you are now taken aback,

    Then you are, my friend, on the right track.

    Benches, tables, gazebos galore

    To sit and admire the view from the shore.

    But yours is not to sit or rest;

    To scramble and search will serve you best.

    Respect the land where people dwell.

    But follow your nose to the nearer end smell.
    If you are now taken aback,

    Then you are, my friend, on the right track.

    Benches, tables, gazebos galore

    To sit and admire the view from the shore.

    But yours is not to sit or rest;

    To scramble and search will serve you best.

    Respect the land where people dwell.

    But follow your nose to the nearer end smell.

  14. “lots of people” = DECOYS)*&!#%)&(!%#)&(*#!%)*(&!#%

    jesus cal. do you realize you are playing with people that get their vanity license plates named after this shit? do you think they can’t mobilize 50 idiots with shovels????? free pizza brought thousands to the capitol.

    WAKE UP()&*!#%)&(!%#)*(!#^

  15. those people are betting on the “vicinity to” chance of the clues pointing to schmidt… i already played that card with parks that were exactly 2 miles away per the latest clue.

    get out of perry.

    IT’S A TRAP#!%(*^!#%&)*!#%^

  16. i was wondering if my new sonar would help find things in sand… mine is on the cheap end, but the tech exists…

    remember that shotgun thing in jurassic park?

    i worry that it’s in the sand.

  17. Cla is back on the Elmer Anderson for one last run.

    I’m off to bed.

    It’s hard to guide him via text.

  18. 4 and 1/2 hours spent on the hunt tonight. no luck. however. it is still out there and I know where it is.

    I find it tomorrow.

    tonight. bed.

  19. Quick update: the Win 7 box is my gaming computer; I didn’t look at RAM restrictions in the OS (because I didn’t figure they’d be so petty) and just looked up how much the motherboard supported and bought the max. Dude, 24GB of RAM cost $120. It’s fucking REDiculous. Each 8GB kit also came with a 4GB MicroSD card, so now I have three of those things too. What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to vibe and a MEDLN8TR license plate?

  20. what motherboard and what kind of RAM? that seems TOOOOOOO cheap.

    i’m used to the corpo price lists and leasing machines for $750/mo that i could build for under $4,000.

    what kind of processor? quad core i7? or are there 16 core i99s for $50 that i don’t know about?

  21. Newspaper update

    Friday: Milwaukee JS
    Saturday: TWO Milwaukee JS
    Sunday: Milwaukee JS, NY Times (that’s like $6 bucks!)
    Monday: Milwaukee JS
    Tuesday: Milwaukee JS and NY Times

    My only idea why: he remembers the xmas twank and jams whatever extra he has around the house into my mail bag.

    Sadly, I am contemplating the virtual paper game. A kindle is readable with a sack of baby in your arms. A paper paper—no.

  22. Lawman has me on the new spelling Ri Pi. Only problem, I now spell her name wrong… Rielly.

    Hashtag idiot

    I also call her Rippity Pippity and Rye Whiskey.

  23. RPW seems corporate–RPW is up half a percent– or a measurement of spaceship speed.

    12-30-2011– I need madddd to riddle something out of that for me.

  24. the paper paper is a classic dad move though… baby can’t mess with you because you’re reading the paper and dad does what he wants.

    with the kindle the baby knows you can still read it, so you’re going to get bugged.

  25. I’m guessing drugs and poverty.

    Cla is a madman. He’s been in the shit all day, clinging to a theory. His cell is dead but he is still hunting.

    Mom went and got him A CHEESEBURGER and is now resting and charging his phone. She meets back up with him at 10:00. I’ll report back when I get him back on the line.

  26. Cla has been alone in the same park all day. 1000′s are in a different park.

    But now cars are starting to roll into CLAs park.

    Crazy insane or insane crazy?

  27. Read the right sign then look up to the sky;

    You’ll be wired in then and won’t go awry.

    You’re getting close, you’re doing just fine.

    With what you will see, this rhyme should align.

  28. 1) omg

    2) monday : work, hunt in the park until 2:00 am, home. can’t sleep. decide I know where it is. 3:30am back in car. hunt furiously. home 5:00am. sleep.

    3) tuesday: work until noon. in park 2:00 pm hunt in park until 2:30 am. home.

    4) wednesday: up at 6:00 am. pull into parking lot. first car. i’ve outsmarted them again. continue to utilize mothodiCAL and most painstaking search of pine trees. the branches are very low so you have to lay on your belly and snake your way in there to clear out all the dirt underneath. face scratched a million times. after covering a few pine trees i thought i’d take a break and decided i’d give a CAL to the old hotline to make sure nobody had it yet… but really, how could they? i was the only one in the park.

    5) in total i’d say i’ve spent 40+ hours on this manic 11 day bender and i am tired. i really thought i had it.

    6) as i lay on my stomach under the pines making sweeping motions with my arms i would also compose victorious whazzmaster posts. madd was going to get his 2.5k for a single brilliant clue interpretation- “pine” rhymes with “power line,” wwhzz was going to get a cut for his on demand research, i was going to ride in the parade, and the world was my effing oyster.

    7) my fatal error was abandoning schmidt park. unfortunately, as is usually the case, i believed i was smarter than the masses, when in reality the opposite was true. alone in my park, i dreamt of greatness.

    8) sunglasses man.

    9) for anybody who still cares: here’s the down low on the finder: http://www.twincities.com/ci_19867048 they will post all the explanations to the clues soon.

    10) i’m going to bed. i’m afraid we’re going to have to do this again next year.

  29. We should have used law think: no way they were going to change parks and send 1000’s racing across town in the middle of the night, in the middle of winter. They had it in a big ol park, everyone was safe and set where they were.

    You did sniff out TS park waaaayyy before the masses though.
    And maddddd solved the final riddle with quickness.

    The future is bright–next year I want to try and get off work clues 8-12.

  30. Next year maddddd can be ziggy. I want to be in the shit.

    Unless he wants to be in the shit too, then we can get a new ziggy.

  31. So many nut and diamond clues… and then it’s in a blue diamond nut bag. Clue writer needs his throat slit. It’s hard to consider random park litter as part of the game.

    In the end, I actually respect St. Paul for running a cool game. Try this in Milwaukee and it end in gun play.

    Fuck Minneapolis though. Fuck em in the butt.

  32. oh twitterbug whazzman. one day you’ll stop plucking your guitar and beautifully humming “waiting for the world to change” and conclude that “enforcement” only truly comes through boycott and boom.

    police are useless. lawyers are useless. politicians are useless.

    obamers is a coward.

  33. the taliban are doing a great job where the american government fails. why do you think the american government has declared them enemies of the state, and has justified assassinations of their leaders that required invading foreign territories?

    #jealous

  34. obamers is smart though… with his new “errrrrbody is a terrrrrist” law, he doesn’t have to invade foreign territories anymore… he can just assassinate anyone he wants stateside.

    why aren’t you buying hangover 2 on blu-ray????????? WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO SUPPORT MPAA, CITIZEN?!?! they pay for our election campaigns. when you don’t support them, you are terrorizing the sitting electorate. you will be indefinitely detained without charge.

    lets buy you some guns. i’ll help.

  35. jeopardy just had an answer:
    “It’s the way the crew of the enterprise “go where no man has gone before”

    d00d answered “boldy” and trebek said, “yes, boldly… that’s the adverb”.

    don’t you have a problem with that? is it a split infinitive? that would make for a good lyric in a rap song about english constructs and bangin hos

    “my dick is so big these bitches gettin’ split infinitive”

  36. I’m sloppy as fuck, peck away at my iphone while I poop and make errr after errrrr. I check that shit less than once before posting like a chimp with a typewriter. More typo than grammar though. Maybe it’s why I’m chained to the basement of the ivory tower.

  37. Clues to Medallion Camouflage
    Clue #2 In the very first treasure hunt, 1952, hunters sought a small metal chest but “off our chest” means this year’s treasure is NOT in a chest. 2012 is the 60 th or “diamond jubilee” year of the hunt – a clue to how the treasure is camouflage (see Clue 3).
    Clue #3 “Bag the treasure” reveals the medallion is in a bag; “crack the nut” further describes the bag as a bag of nuts. Combined with the “diamond” reference in Clue 2, the medallion is hidden in a Diamond nut (pecan) bag.
    Clue #6 “Gem” is another reference to “diamond,” which refers to the Diamond Pecan Bag holding the medallion.

    Were these really clues!?!?!?!?
    “The 2-inch plastic medallion was frozen in a mass of ice, tucked into a bag of Diamond cashew halves and then wrapped in leaves and brush before being secured with one white and one blue hair binder.”

  38. Let’s say you found the leaf wrapped nut bag… would you really need clues to get you to open it!??!?!!?

    This killed us.

  39. my only request was a stake in the $300 ho chunk tourny at the end of the month.

    I have $175 in funds right now.

    The DOn owes me $40

    As long as the DOn does not get back with his wife in the next 24 hours, spacebee owes me $25 (which I’ll prob shove on a two teamer, Pats/over).

    Greg owes me $125

    So maybe I’ll still play it.

  40. yo cal, how close did you get? were you ever within 50 yards of the thing?

    want to bomb down to rayciilla saturday morning for an all expenses paid rock show with VIP back alley passes?

    sunday night rimmmin?

  41. i think the actor that played the guy in the 1997 seinfeld episode “the apology” about george stretching out his sweater head hole is the same guy that is now playing the boss on the office.

  42. For me, the closeness has less to do with physiCAL distance and more to do with thinking:

    Cla was doing exactly what he needed to be doing–productive, directed searching– just in the wrong park.

    This is why I want in on team cal next year.

  43. when i went to get the mail earlier, there was a crow perched in the tallest tree… he immediate cawwed an alert.

    i stared him down immediately, and responded the same alert… not mocking, but more showing up… he stays put, i turn my back on him, get my mail and walk inside.

    i justiced out the window that well over 30 BIG crows have congregated in the street in front of my mailbox. it’s a culdesac, so very little traffic. occupy mailbox. i must have really pissed that crow off. i am not exaggerating at all… probably even more than 30 crows. so many that i wrote all of this. i would have a picture, but i got my camera (already on tripod) and set it up in the front room… immediately all the crows scattered.

    i think their entire goal was just to get me to see how many of them could organize quickly, and once i saw, run away like little pigeon bitches.

    i can only expect the same mentality drives the capitol lawn campers of noughtelev… maybe the crows don’t realize that their self herding could be made to serve my interests.

  44. freezing the medallion in ice is a brilliant move to thwart FLIR…

    do you know those robot flying cameras at NFL games? instead of tricky helicopter platforms, it’s a simple 4 wire gear driven platform… that allows the a much higher weight and supposedly makes it impossible to crash into people on the field, but there was a bowl game this year where one of the wires snapped and it did crash into people. whoops.

    so here is the design…. for the 4 bases, use those portable basketball hoop poles… attach to them telescoping arms that can extend above the treeline. then make a base and write software to drive the gears and FLIR cameras to automatically scan the area, and then scan all the pictures for anomalies. that chunk of ice would have stood out, but it would significantly cloak the shape of the puck inside.

    still might be useful… depends on how fast it can scan.

  45. Hi, I’ll try to get to all your Treasure Hunt questions.

    1) I think it was found just north of the interfacial road but south of the train tracks. it was also south of the much brewhaha-ed “Elmer A. Andersen” trail however, and we had mistakenly interpreted “through the darkest night” to mean to pass through the dark tunnel heading north of the tracks. so the area in Schmidt we searched was exclusively north of the tracks. it’s a giant park, so had to make a call.

    2) physiCALy i think we were extremely close. i think it was found near a dry brook very near the head of the trail. we searched there briefly when we entered the park for the first time. I think we could have found it easily – just would have been dumb luck though.

    3) yeah, there is a tradition of guessing “what do you think it’s in” every year. one year was a diaper. but it’s usually some sort of bag made to look like trash. it’s part of the clues, and you have to hope you are not searching under 15 pine trees surrounding a baseball diamond because the word “gem” is in the clues. it’s sucky but also good because every smoe has an opinion on the clues. it’s fun to talk with strangers in full winter camo gear and headlamps about the clues, some are tight lipped and others cant help but spill their theories.

    4) I think I gave the clue writer / hider way too much credit, fake leaves wrapped in rubber bands- are you kidding? i was stripping the bark off falllen trees and smoothing land with my bare hands trying to find the stupid thing.

    5) the real problem is the size of the parks, acres and acres, and suddenly you see places every inch of the park where a something could be hidden

    6) I seriously went to bed last night believing i had this thing on lock. wtf??? at one point my mom turned to me and said “do you think maybe we have delusions of grandure- since we’re the only ones here?” to which i scoffed. I was reading into the clues way too much. It’s hard not too when you are sitting in an enormous forest with entirely no idea of what to do next. Also wwhazz makes an exCALent point when he says they wouldn’t send everyone to one park, and on the 11th night switch it up so thousands of people go hurtling along icy roads as fast as possible to get to the park first.

    7) i had tons of fun however, next year that fucker is mine. MINE! Also wwhazz makes an exCALent point when he says they wouldn’t point everyone to

    8)

  46. crap tried to cut and paste whazz exCALent point where better suited. fail. did you think that was a glitch in the matrix?

    8)

  47. pntbtrBone-186’s ability to terror has been greatly hindered since they shut down his netteller account.

  48. As long as we spend less than 10K on our medallion hunting supplies next year, we are cool. Budget 8K?

    We need those Jurassic park machines for sure. And we should probably rent an A-Team or Mystery Machine van as a mobile command unit—maybe just a plain black van? Best earmark some funds for madddd’s chopper budget. We could bug the paper and follow around this Jake guy who seems to win all the time. Bloodhounds?

    Meth?? Wig us our or power us to glory?

  49. chopper is cancelled… cold + wind = big hurdles. i think the wire runner idea is better… but it’s not worth it unless the bases could be 100+ yards apart and a complete scan could be done and processed in under an hour.

  50. yo cal, how is the FBI allowed to maintain and enforce a “no-fly” list, but that list is not released to the american public that pays subsidies to the airlines and completely funds the FBI?

    when did “suspect” become reason to punish someone as if they were guilty?

  51. zark fuckerberg is about sell out every myface user and go public.

    exploiting your privacy is big business… expected valuation is at $100,000,000,000… that’s billion. with a B. like BEOTCH.

  52. I was reading an artiCAL on the onion av club about some internet dude who used clues (such as the outcome of a certain lakers/supersonics game) to deduce the exact date of Ice Cubes “Good Day.”

    Dude came up with Jan 20, 1992 and the first commentor was so proud of the author that he worte:

    “I’m pretty sure that your butt was asleep the night of January 20 1992… “

  53. frank norris’ the pit was just a $200 answer on jeopardy under the “windy city” category…

    “frank norris’ 1903 novel about the chicago board of trade is just called this– no “& the pendulum””

    answer is obvious without knowing of the book or author…

  54. canada shut me down… they only take 10,000 ballers per year for permanent citizenship.

    they said they would consider me if i gave them $800,000 canadian dollars.

    son of a bitch.

    #FUCKINGRETARDS)&*(!#%)&(!#%^)(*&!#$^

  55. chile always seemed nice……

    cal, what’s the frech princess’ deal???? guest house available? i could run the royal home network and set up cameras and choppers.

    also, i love french wine.

  56. probably a suburb of one of the bigger cities… montreal… toronto… vancouver…

    during the application process, everything was special for quebec… so now i sort of want to go there. probably all the new york people fed up with stupid USA just want to hop the border, so they locked shit down tighter over there.

  57. Back when we were 19, lawman got permission to borrow his parent’s car for a week. We planned a bitching trip to see Mount Rushmore.

    The night before we left, we found out the drinking age in Canada was 19. The next morning, we drove to Toronto. We looped down around Lake Michigan and spent a night in Cleveland, checked out the Rock and Roll hall of fame. Next it was Niagara Falls: the USA side is a State Park, all pretty and natural. The Canada side is like Wisconsin Dells but with lots of strip clubs. Being 19 and out and about partying in bars was awesome. And then Toronto herself was awesome, like a giant ass 14 million person city but really clean and safe.

  58. Last night I buzzed my head. My first swipe is reverse Mohawk (unless I’m crafting a Mohawk). After that it’s random paths. When I was about half done, the clippers broke. It just stopped working and would not take a charge. I looked like a crazy mangy person and had to just stay like that for the evening.

    I was worried about work this morning (just wear old orangy the orange hat!?!?) but the clippers resurrected and I was able to complete the haircut.

  59. Sheeeeeeit homey, we’re always open for bidness. I got karaoke working in the basement now, too. BOOYAH. Whazz, karaoke, bourbon, it’s all coming together at my place.

  60. jay was in AZ all week on business and he’s at an airport right now on his way home… said he went out every night on the company tab and is too tired to not be a girl.

    email me your address… i’ll probably come stink up your place tonight if that’s ok with the lady of the house.

  61. that was an exciting string of comments… til the last one

    boooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  62. buzzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz b b bbbb…

    did you take pics??? you freak i wish you were forced to live your life like a mangy dog!!!

  63. went to bed at 8pm last night with a massive headache. woke up at 8 this morning feeling somewhat better… still not going to ray ray. i’ve decided to spend the day trubbbbbbbin’ and blow off work. somehow they’ve transitioned me into 80% sysadmin on junk-o hack platforms that are supported by 1 person in the world. it’s a nightmare. please lay me off.

    yo cal, i have free booze, and i get lost in moredoor pretty easy. can’t get to whiterun. fucking lions always fuck me up.

    we could discuss starting legal zoom 2.0. calslist.org.

  64. yo cal, on my way to whiterun i’m at this one d00ds house, but he keeps saying “you never should have come here” and then throws fireballs at me, and i always die.

  65. get better resolution doing a 1-on-1 call… click on my name on the list on the left and hit video chat.

  66. mean ol’ magic dude, they all say that. your dude too weak to fight such a dude. you gotta build your dude up. i can help you. we need to schedule a play date. also i want to watch STTNG BLUEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  67. should i be looting people to the shelves, or leave some stuff behind so i can find it again later, and not have to carry it?

    ever seen a super bowl on trubbbbbbbs?

  68. quebec is off the table now. quebec has caught the US virus of ignorant hypocrisy and paranoid fascist persecution.

    i think the rest of canada is still unaffected….. hopefully.

  69. i have about 10 online bank accounts… i just a new one through american express… every time some new chump steps up with a higher rate, i pounce, then i link every account, and by doing that pick up a dollar and change through the verification process. with 10 accounts, and doing the link in both directions, thats like $25. so for every new account i find, that total will keep getting higher.

    #flawinthematrix

  70. stupid ebay. why start the bidding at a price lower than the minimum price the seller will accept?!?!?!?!

    stupid shock g only giving stuff to stupid merchants who only sell stuff on stupid ebay)&#!%)(&!#%0789!#%

  71. well, amazon… thanks for the free ride. it was a great month being in the prime club, but if i had unlimited free 2 day shipping year round, i would be poor very quick. all in all dropped many g-balls.

    #bezos

  72. USA USA USA USA USA

    drone attacks on rescuers at previous drone attack sites… that isn’t gangster enough, so they are also targeting mourners are funerals from people who died at previous drone attacks…

    amerrrrrrricaaa…. amerrrrrrricaaaaa….. THIS IS YOU!!

    #AFV

  73. TNG on bluray is as advertised.

    i was worried it would be too detailed, but most shots have the background slightly out of focus.

    7.1 dolby is bangin

  74. thumb scrollers are on injured reserve.

    very interesting economies in play… more posts bring more reply posts, but more posts eventually bring less thumb scroller posts.

    how about some pictures of the boomboom room? how is the emulated whazz and ball?

  75. i just got a camo magazine belt and leg holster, and a TMNT bluray box set…

    #thingsidontrememberordering

    #booze

  76. Veteran: “hey, i’m depressed”

    Asshat: “why do you want to commit suicide”

    V: “i don’t”

    A: “then we’ll give you a reason to, mother fucker”

  77. gun show is coming to eau cleezy in march… i plan on getting a rifle capable of taking down an elk… pref semi-auto.

  78. a jose canseco bat?!?! TELL ME… you DIDN’T pay money for this…

    i need to find a way to share the trubbbroom with more people.

  79. Anyone against mustard? Ice fishing sack lunch comes with mustard unless a formal “no ‘turd” request is received in writing.

  80. Maddddd, if you can guess Pun’s highest weight (according to Wikipedia) I will give you $5.

    You must be within 25 pounds without going over.

  81. No looking it up, either.

    Upon further reading, my surprise over Big Pun’s 12 year death anniversary comes from a misunderstanding: I thought Fat Joe and Big Pun were the same dude.

  82. bud bowl was dead in 1997.

    keystone light showed up at the funeral and puked everywhere.

    big pun was there… he hit someone with the big gun. he has a big tongue, know to make a chick…………..

    #RIPdeadthings

  83. my new caffeine intake method is half a cup of iced raspberry emergen-C topped off with freshly steeped hot jasmine green tea.

  84. latin rappers are way better than africans… no stigma with cunnilingus

    #younastytwin

    #idontcare

  85. The ref should have called the fight a TKO after Daiz slapped Carlos in the face and called him a bitch.

    Center of the ring, hands at his side. A bitch slap and a bitch… Carlos just ran. TKO.

  86. i got rach-o an eliptiCAL machine for her birfday… the delivery guy saw my gear in the garage and started talking ice fishing… he said they are getting the limit of big crappies every day in ME NO MONIE… he said the ice is like 16-18″ around here… but only 6-7″ in la crosse.

    i heard about the violence on the ice… i WISH someone would fuck with me. justified homicide is high on my bucket list.

  87. wordle was interesting… i didn’t see schmidt anywhere. did you just copy and past the whole page?

    lots of maddddddddddddd

  88. We need to get you on the ice, boy. Chill you out.

    Season 1 breaking bad is in the books. report to follow, possible in wordle form.

  89. don’t be scurred, i’m the chillest. i just like to pollute the FBI’s wordles of the intarweb.

    i rimmed for about an hour last night… i was chasing some blue ghost around, but eventually some asshole froze me and i died.

  90. oh snaps… whazzman is at the house of prime rib in frisco? 2 blocks from my ol’ crizzle. we only went there twice. i like that place… sit down and they bring out a cart of food and give it to you. no options. here, eat this.

    #foreal

  91. did you ever watch breaking bad before? i have watched it since episode 1 as it aired, on the edge of my seat.

    in the whole series there are maybe 1 or 2 episodes that slow things down a bit to inject new elements in the story, but other than that, it keeps getting better and better.

  92. i need to watch that one. i got like two episodes and wasn’t conviced by malcolm’s dad as meth guy and his mustache grossed me out and the other sidekick was annoying like jamie kennedy. #didn’tgiveitenoughtime

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