Chiggity Check Yo Thumbs Before You Wreck Yo Thumbs

232 thoughts on Chiggity Check Yo Thumbs Before You Wreck Yo Thumbs

1. More news? Is it a baby? Having one? Stole one?

2. I saw Breaking Bad #1 when it aired in my hotel room in Las Vegas… but nothing since.
   Baby life keeps us at home a lot, so we watch lots of shows. Breaking is on Netflix, so we gave it a try. We watched season #1 on Monday and Tuesday, started season #2 last night (though season 1 and 2 are short ½ seasons like AMC likes to do).
   The show is really funny and really suspenseful. They do a great job of making each episode stand-alone awesome but also use each to advance the main plot. The meth game aint easy.

   Last night we saw the one where Tuko takes them hostage out in the desert in that weird house with his grandpa. That interrogation scene with grandpa’s bell was nuts!

3. cal… maybe you won’t like breaking bad… the things you’re complaining about are pretty much why the show is great. they are both flawed unlikely heroes that serve to catalyze the potential in each other.

   just don’t watch it. focus on my rimming.

4. if malcom’s middle mustasch was convincing as “meth guy”, the show wouldn’t be called “breaking bad”… it would just be called “bad”.

5. it’s a dumb tv show i will like it

6. fur cal

   all your precious legislators and all their precious legislations… one problem: retards forgot to think about the private resale market.

   way to make things harder for people not breaking the law, so that things can be easier for the people that would likely do the things the law was created to prevent.

   #morons

7. SHUT DOWN THE INTERNET!#%(*6&!#%(* PEOPLE ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER AND SHARING THINGS THAT ARE LEGAL THAT THEY HAVE LEGALLY OBTAINED!%#(*&^%#!&)(*%#!(^*&!#%

   IT’S THE ONLY WAY*#%!)&(!^)(&!^

   #THINKOFTHECHILDREN(*&%#(*&^!#%)&*(!%^#

8. if you want to talk to someone else, arrange a meeting through a government appointed chaperone who will relay your requests and messages.

   making america safer…. for the children.

   #soothingtones

9. My thumbs can take a long scroll but the phone breaks down.

10. Belly is taking the family to H-town tonight until Sunday. It is the mike show until then.
    We got the ice fisheree Saturday but until then I am free as cal. What to do with my time?

    Beer? TV? Should I go buy Skyrim? Dejope?

    There is a nice $100 tournament on Friday at DeJOKE– 60 players, winner gets to play a 20-man freeroll where the winner gets a 5k bracelet, entry into the 10K main event and air and room for 2. Even w/o the freeroll, a 6-table is doable, prob pays 2500 for first.

11. #sochill

12. when is that tourney? are you at work now? no work tomorrow?

    i have an idea………..

13. Four hours of Friday work—If I finish some crap up today, I can do it from home.
    Tourney is 7:00, I think.

14. Breaking Bad is on hiatus til Sunday as that is family viewing.

    I can go workaholics crazy tonight or just fool around in the Dejope cash game. Or just blast the whazzball. For sure, I’ll mix some concoctions.

    Money is out of town; Lawman is my only possible BRO.

15. First few nights away from Rippity. I get pretty excited driving home from work to see her. I don’t think I’ll cry into my ice hole, but I’ll miss her. No 2a, 4a, 6a wake up cal for the first time since Dec30.

    No dog, either.

16. Wirkus! Get some of that Barley Wine or get over here for one. It’s fucking awesome.

17. wash it down with some grape beer!

18. #norealnamesinthedungeon

19. i’m going lord and squirt til it hurts… probably capping the evening with some ooze secrets.

    new episodes of workaholics not coming out until may. fun fact: comedy central cancelled nick swardson’s pretend time to pick up the show.

20. *not so fun fact

21. i bet nick respects the choice…

    yo cal, ask him about it next time you’re eating out his ass.

22. Bowling alley poker won out. I’ll holler on trubbs later.

    Barly next time.

23. 40 players… Down to 18. I’m middle of the pack. Some dude named randy just went Ape.

24. Final table. The hairiest be mangy and his spawn are running around but the kids still got it.

25. Coach!

26. Auto correct gone wild with the nonsense.

27. jDilla thinks we would get 1,000,000 views in 20 minutes based on the stats on this video

    i agree.

28. how many spots pay? what are the stack sizes?

29. in a sporting draught i’ve taken to watching minnesota wild hockey on trubbbs… the white ice and white screen provide a high contrast bright viewing experience.

    also, i’ve been watching timberwolves basketball… first NBA i’ve watched in years… i really like their team. fuck-a-buck???

30. Short stack on the bubble.

    Button.

    On break.

31. It’s the good old days, coach.

32. I just went out. 5th. Won 75$

33. 100 but 25 entry.

34. Madddd if u are really doing ooze tonight pleae cal me. Or just start a hang out.

35. A victory barley wine at the Dane. Haenkle cal now to join in. Friday, I take my 100 victory to dejope to Plau the 100 tournament. Coach!!!!

36. Henkel is a soothsayer. I actually am drinking a barley wine right now.

37. i’m oozin on trubbbbbs

38. hey, congress….. fuck you too

    #ginoXL

39. Word front he north: there are 9 people entered in this ice fishing derby.

    We are 4 of the 9.

40. watch breaking bad in A2K approved RPG videogame mode

    (spoiler alert??)

41. i was entertained by the new animated series “unsupervised” on FX.

42. ultimate fighter live solves a bunch of sanction issues, and i have to respect the UFC for sticking their neck out and possibly putting on horrible events… but at this point, i’d think the posers have already been weeded out.

    we’ll see.

43. yo cal, how about those chinese assassins taking out kim un in beijing?

    i remember when americans wouldn’t stand for taxation without representation.

    china is #gangster

44. XFC is live on trubbbbbbs from knoxville tennessee

45. kangaroo announcer just dropped another tagline worthy gem: (after a knockout)

    “IT’S GOOD NIGHT FRICKIN’ IRENE!!!”

46. fuck your disgusting insect

47. Address: (Store #126)
    1560 County Road XX
    Rothschild,WI 54474
    715-355-5500

    GPS Coordinates:
    Latitude: 44.860315
    Longitude: -89.636081

    I think here

48. 11:00, gander mt

    HUNT FISH CAMP

49. some post-hunt controversy read all about it:

    http://www.twincities.com/ci_19939903

50. So they kicked out 4 of the 5 winners and took back 5K. The 4 dudes that got kicked out were Medallionaters from maddddd’s photo. One of the dudes was a 2X finder.

    I’ve spent a good amount of time thinking about ways to cheat.

51. Dude didn’t do much of a hack job– he just typed in the web address and the site let him see it before it was live.

    It’s not hard to do, you just change a number. I use this trick when I want to see different ranges of numbers than are on the drop down menu on fantasy baseball.

    Like, before they had the “last two weeks” button, I would change the 7 in the url for “last one week” to a 14 and it gave me the stats I wanted.

52. u trubbin?

53. trau trau

54. DJ 10 b-low is on the ice.

    Believe the hype.

55. yeah something is still fishy, and why didn’t we think of that? just change the number in the url! but it was stupid to include those other four morons anyway. fkdajhfldsajflsjdalfjsdalfjald #waituntilnextyear.

56. madddddddddddddd is gay

57. i’m gay

58. Spoiler alert: Chicago-style spaghetti is lasagna.

59. bad just broke

60. Last night was walking dead and shameless.

    Back on the bad tonight.

    Tuko was shot by Hank; our heros flee to the desert…

61. went out to eat for rach-o’s birthday… i got walleye to spite them.

62. just saw “the curious case of curt flood” on hobotv.

    yo cal, why does any corporation deserve exemptions from anti-trust legislations? how could there only be a single such corporation?

    #deregulatebaseball

63. yeah it’s weird, i don’t know why baseball is like that. i don’t know much- but i know i love you…. and that will be all i neeeeeeeeeeed to konwwwwwwwwwww.

64. Occupy Lake Wausau, bitch

65. when is fantasy baseball going to start. i offiCALly hate feb/march.

66. and the countdown begins: The 2012 Major League Baseball season will begin on March 28 with the first of a two game series between the Seattle Mariners and the Oakland Athletics at the Tokyo Dome in Japan.

    44 days. too far away… btw hunter jake guy is fighting the pioneer press on facebook. he said something on the radio??????? the hunt just got REAL.

    apparently it starts at 13:00… next year there will be no talk. team Wisconsin will take the hunt. i’m your mole.

    http://www.kfan.com/player/?station=KFXN-FM&program_name=podcast&program_id=KFAN_Common.xml&mid=21815406

67. How are these cash fantasy games legal? They even use paypal… and now yahoo is even in on it:

    http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/sports/fantasysports/baseball/proleagues/;_ylt=An.jMM2Po1Qtc6zev6M9cZn3LnxG

68. baseball has a federal exemption from prosecution on interstate commerce charges… they are the only corporation that has such an exemption. i wondering if by making the fantasy baseball gambogambo product an MLB offering and yahoo just signs on as the reseller, that yahoo and paypal would inherit the exemption.

    fucking bill frist. bill frist is the worst.

    i thought dog racing was legal because humans couldn’t be trusted not to rig the system, but dogs are dumb. is yahoo implying that baseball players are dumber than dogs????

    where does cal stand???

69. Stomp dogs paw… rigged idea #1

    Feed dog poison rigged idea #2

70. remember my bank hustle, aggregating those test deposit transactions?

    american express gave me $0.71, and $0.76… then, after i verified the account, they took the money back!! no one has ever done that before… i’m pretty sure it isn’t legal. i never authorized them to TAKE my money.

    cal…. want a case vs the banks?? it might get you some cred at the occupy butthole parties that you glamorize.

    i heard that #occupy was secretly run by the claimed defunct ACORN organization.

    fucking banks giving me $1.47 to hold, and then just raping it back out of my hands without asking. fuck the banks. the banks raped me. STOLE money that was given to me, FROM AN ACCOUNT NOT AFFILIATED WITH THEM IN ANY WAY.

    #THIEVES

71. i wonder if people in the #occupy scene ever sing that song, “i wish i were a billionaire”… and if they do, do they mean it like, i wish everyone were billionaires and rampant inflation burdens the poor even worse than now, or do they just want to be part of the 1%?

72. yo BG, what do you think about this $133,000 “for the cure” scandal?

73. the movie “anything else” is worth a gander mountain.

74. It explains why there are so many pink ribbons all over the place. I can’t get groceries or wipe my butt without seeing a pink ribbon. I’m not surprised an entitled money hungry lady is running the show.

75. omg will you divorce that idiot and marry me? i will raise your baby

76. i will be a better father than that jerk for sure. brewers? blech. i will raise a beautiful twins-loving baby girl

77. maddddddddddd has your skyrim play improved? entertain me i’m boring of doing this non-paying job

78. 1) i have an idea for big bucks lets make people pay to read whazzmaster. you pay one dollar per word i type. this is alrady like fifty bucks in my pocket.

    2) when are you going to your dumb gun show. i am annoyed because now i am obsessed with pocket knives (TOOLS not WEAPONS) and i get thrown in with the gun lovers. do they have pocket knives at your gun shows? not that i would come along or anything… although i might come along…

    3) fantasy baseball so far awayyyyyyy

    4) did you see that folky guy gave a shout out to eau clare on the grammys. If only he gave a shout out to maddd… the closest to fame madd ever got was when he emailed tucker max sigh. my brush with fame is being in nick swardson’s gym class.

79. BG wiping her butt, unable to not see a pink ribbon is very very funny to me.

    #EVERYWHERE)(&*@#%)(&*!#%)&(!#^

80. was it that bon-bon iver guy? i heard he was from eau claire, however, i don’t know what music he has made of any relevance… maybe if i heard it i would recognize.

    #stupidpoophairgurl

81. i did watch a chunk of the grammys and was very very impressed with the live performances… i think i turned it off after adelle hollllered.

    i saw some clips from nicky monage going stupid and i’m glad i missed that one.

82. he’s pretty good. this one is called skinny love

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssdgFoHLwnk

83. beach boys should have played cocomo… and jesse and the rippers should have backed them up like they did in hawaii

84. when is UP trip. i want in on this trip. i promise not to ruin it.

85. ughhhhhhhhh i belived for a second it was 3:10 and it is only 2:10 jklfdjaslkfdjalkfdjaklfdjaklfdjasklfjda

86. my favorite pocket knife

    i’ve been in the knife game forever… working in the stock room at a restaurant you constantly need one, and usually only have 1 hand free… always used to rock spidercos because of their thumb hole, but these ken onions have a little spring in them, and the back of the blade sticks out of the spine of the knife, so you just slide your finger down the spine and it flips open like whoa. it has a lock so it won’t cut your dick off.

    ken onion used to make engines… forged his own steel and all that… now he makes baller knives with custom metal composites that hold an edge that will fuck your face. he got the idea for the “speed-safe” knife design from how pistons are designed to spring back in place. after a few years, my spring broke, so i emailed kershaw, and they sent me all the tools i needed to fix it, and 5 more spring pieces all 100% free. they even shipped it to me.

    kershaw = +1
    ken onion = +1
    cal = sucks

    #haha

87. VIDEO: ken onion baby boa getting flipped open

88. fantasy baseball gambo gambo reading assignment

89. online poker would be legal without the bill frist BS law that no one ever read… that same bill specifically said that fantasy sports and dog races were legitimate business.

    so, to answer your question: it’s legal because bill frist decided it should be legal, forced his opinion on the american populace without a vote, and then collected $20,000,000 from people that benefitted from his decision to act in such a way, and then disappeared to florida to retire.

    BILL FRIST IS A CUNT.

90. BILL FRIST IS AN ENEMY OF DEMOCRACY

91. in the 70s bill frist ran experiments on cats in medical school. he killed them all. he got the cats from shelters by lying to them, saying he wanted them as pets.

92. bill frist represents all that wrong and evil with american politics.

    through association, i will never respect republicans or tennessee. bunch of CUNTS.

    fuck all y’all muhfuckers. die slow.

93. interesting knife. too scary looking for me though. i like old timely knives.

94. #RONPAUL2012

95. Cal, have u seen my butterfly knives and Italian switchblades? I brought then home from Europe in my carry on. The little did I know I could have taken over a plane. Only things customs confiscated was a boar sausage I bought for my dad. Fuckers.

96. Nude post… Maybe a review of that ninja turtle movie you told me about last night?

97. Im working on a country song. So far I only have this: three years ago, in mexico…

98. hey madddddd yahoo is keeping 25% of the pot on their new payout leagues… oh yeah and they’re pallin it up with PAYPAL to get er done.

    http://baseball.fantasysports.yahoo.com/b1/proleagues

    what do YOU think?

99. i think gambling on fantasy baseball and gambling on poker is exactly the same thing…. there is an edge that comes with more understanding, and a luck factor that can’t be quantified or denied.

    ultimately, i think that america is governed by ignorant hypocrites.

100. j dilla has a song about mexico

101. here is the law:

     Participation in any fantasy or simulation sports game or educational game or contest in which (if the game or contest involves a team or teams) no fantasy or simulation sports team is based on the current membership of an actual team that is a member of an amateur or professional sports organization (as those terms are defined in 28 U.S.C. 3701) and that meets the following conditions:

     (A) All Prizes and awards offered to winning participants are established and made known to the participants in advance of the game or contest and their value is not determined by the number of participants or the amount of any fees paid by those participants.

     (B) All winning outcomes reflect the relative knowledge and skill of the participants and are determined predominantly by accumulated statistical results of the performance of individuals (athletes in the case of sports events) in multiple real-world sporting or other events.

     (C) No winning outcome is based-

     (1) On the score, point-spread, or any performance or performances of any single real-world team or any combination of such teams, or

     (2) Solely on any single performance of an individual athlete in any single real-world sporting or other event.

102. so, my interpretation is, if you draft the entire brewers team, then your team is no longer a “fantasy” and is represented in the real world under a real professional sports organization, so you’re breaking the law.

     i wonder if yahoo can stop you from drafting an entire real team.

103. it probably doesn’t make sense because bill frist wrote it on the toilet while he was masturbating to dead cats… then he snuck into the house chambers with a paperclip (cat blood, feces, and ejaculate trailing him) and turned his ignorance into rules that we all must follow, lest we face penalty from federal goon squads……. sort of like hitler, but with more dead cats.

     cal. please, fix it.

104. when the first word in the name of your act is “unlawful”, why would anyone assume that the adjective isn’t describing the lawfulness of the act itself?

     #RIGGED

105. goddamnit. i fell for cal’s beast poking again. i am stupid.

     #somad

106. wwhazz and cal should start a league and one of you gets all the brewers and one of you gets all the twinks… then at the end of the season, after the prizes are distributed, class action suit vs yahoo and paypal for breaking the UIGEA… don’t try to win… just try to get the act overturned and bill frist incarcerated.

107. also, what if your entire team consisted of NL all-stars? they would all be members of the same team at the all-star game.

108. Yeah, it was a poke. Nice work sniffing it out.

     The 25% rake is outrageous. We posted it just to piss you off. Our true hope was that you would make a website that only charged us 10% rake.

109. yeah nice job sniffin hombre, there is about a 5% chance I don’t do this. I am a weak man.

110. ron paul 2012

111. i find this page very encouraging… lots of references to the “lock” site on cardplayer…. i might try to get some money in.

112. I follow

113. Breaking Bad does a good job of filling in details.

     Like, most shows treat things like Badger or the meth motel as throw away items, but breaking comes back to them, fills them in, develops them.

114. yeah, i remember thinking that around that point in the story… back when they were small ballin’

115. i have a gurldikboner for new york based movies lately… just saw Happythankyoumoreplease… very good.

116. maybe online poker needed a mix up… maybe frist was doing what was best for everyone…

     maybe not…

117. I give films a slight bump if set in Louisiana.

118. UFC on fuel tonight. We don’t get fuel but it’s a free preview day or something so it is on.

119. haha…. bitch tripped.

120. new bank account of the day = ING DIRECT. we’ll see if they steal back the test transaction money. with 10+ accounts, every new account is over $100 earned on those test transactions. this could be the plot to superman 4

121. good luck, pryor.

     gonna watch a b. bad

     ill be back for the dirty diego fight

122. i’ll give you the dirt at +250…

123. 20% of MMA fighters come out to “turn the page”…

     i think i would come out to “iz they wildin’ with us?” by busta rhymes and mystiCAL

124. Diego is done.

125. Diego’s interview sealed it for me. They are using his name to build this new dude.

126. The time Diego used a live mariachi band as his walkout is one of my favorites.

127. throwing it on trubbbbbbbs on hangout

128. That forehead scar is from BJ.

129. #fuckthepolice

130. My favorite thing about breaking bad continues to be the humor.

     Badger’s drug bust with the skinny dude from Road Trip and Hustle and Flow was nice.
     The addition of Odenkirk as Badger’s lawyer: really nice.

     I liked when they were trapped in the desert and Jesse wanted Mr. White to build them a robot to get them out of the jam. Also, the fact he still calls him Mr. White.

131. Cla, what about evil law?

     Fuck it at this point. Make some paper and ball large in Dubuque.

132. I wikipediaed Odenkirk and once again found that all roads lead to Get a Life and, more importanlty, this gem:

     “Chris Peterson is a carefree, childlike bachelor who refuses to live the life of an adult. At the age of 30, Chris still lives with his parents and maintains a career delivering newspapers (the St. Paul Pioneer Press), a job that he has held since his youth.”
     Hashtag clues

133. seriously… fuck the police.

     american justice is no longer existant. buy guns. lots and lots and lots of guns. even more ammo.

134. good thing there are police unions that make sure these police aren’t fired… you know, because unions are always in the best interest of the public.

     #GOMEAT

135. why are congress members exempt from insider trading laws?

     JOW RIGGED JOKE.

     i am terrorized. congress members have terrorized me. the united states congress are terrorists.

136. whoa i never really noticed how closely my life resembles chris eliot’s in get a life. except that guy was six years younger and had a job. #awesome

137. can we talk fantasy bball for a sec? i signed up for a couple of those yahoo rip-off leagues. but here is how i’m thinking I will dominate… minimum innings is only set to 7 so i might draft only middle relief and closers, thereby punting Wins and Ks but taking Saves, ERA and WHIP.

     This might not work were it not for Head to Head leagues, in roto the stats just add up, and i’d be losing lots of stats by punting wins/k’s but in head to head i have a chance every know and then to take wins and i always will take saves, era and whip… thoughts?????????????

138. i think i just cracked the fantasy baseball matrix or solved the riddle of the spinx or some damn thing

139. thus far i’ve only signed up for $20 leagues but might have to take it up an notch #thereisnospoon

140. lots of squirrel fucking in the backy yard today… there is one squirrel that just likes to watch.

141. I still think it is better to go for a well-rounded team.

     You can have a million closers and still go on a saves drought. They can come in bunches and weird things happen. And the low inning limit is double edged: a dude could come in for an inning of work in a non save situation and toss some potatoes, blow up the WHIP, ERA.

     On the pitching side you are gunning for a 3-2 win, but shit happens and I hate just punting K and W.

142. I go for 5-0, always.

143. I’ve pondered building a team of leadoff hitters and closers to try and guarantee SB, R, AVG, WHIP, ERA, S to dominate a 5×5 head to head league.

     But I don’t want to risk an entire season on an experiment.

     And I’m worried about always banking on a 6-4 win. All it takes is one stat to go sour on you and you are playing for a 5-5 tie… yet you will almost never go off on the stats you are punting.

     I think this builds a team that will win 50% of the time.

144. sound arguments. i’m conflicted. i need to research this more, the closer theory is well known, i’ll read up.

145. One thing to note: it’s an easy team to manage.

146. I think i’m going to go for it in one league. the real appeal is during the playoffs, where your only concern is winning but one category… getting there might be a gamble but I like my chances once i’m in…

     Also, once these pay leagues are going to have a huge drop out rate. after the all-star break I’ll bet at least 4-5 teams quit. this gives me a better chance to make the playoffs with the all closer theory.

147. why would the pay leagues have a high drop out rate? i’ll bet that fewer pay teams quit than non-pay teams… nothing to lose.

148. the dudes who are signing up for these leagues (especially this early – not even spring training yet) are losers like me who will sign up 10 teams (i would but i’m on a tight budget so i cant.) so they’ll sign up for too many leagues, then as their guys get injured or just don’t perform they’ll just drop out. it’s really tough to come back from behind after 3 months of play, plus it’s not these are “fun” leagues with your pals so what’s the point of spending time managing a losing team?

     That said i’ve never be in the gambo game so i don’t know how men act under those circumstances… maybe they will hang on no matter what – but I’m betting they bail.

149. punting discussion:

     http://www.fantasybaseballcafe.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=321997

150. can you sign up 10 teams, and use them to draft all the best players in the 1st round, and then trade them all to the same team? could you guarantee a league win that way and make it cost effective?

151. A $20 12-team league costs $240 in total entry fees—they only pay out $100 for first, $50 for 2nd, $20 for third.

     So yahoo rakes $70 from the pot.

     10 teams would cost you $200 just to play…

152. And there is no way to select which league your dudes get registered in.

     It would be like trying to guess what table you get set at in an internet multitable.

153. The better scam is to make a private league with 10 of the spots filled and then invite 2 people off the message boards to join you.

     You place the cash in a leaguesafe or some other site that makes it impossible to steal so it looks legit and then you gangbang the two suckes who sign up.

     There are dudes on there all day: I got one spot left in a great $300 cash league…

154. The $100 leagues pay out $500, 300, 100.. yahoo drops the rake to $300, 25%.

     Ffffffffffff this. The rake offends my soul.

155. no, you can’t. the way yahoo is hoping to avoid all madddd schemes is to assign you to a random public league as soon as you show up. now you can’t sign up more than one team per league, and you don’t know any of the other jerks in the league.

     they are hoping this does away with collusion between players, no wwhaz/timmah trades amonst family to better one team and screw the other and split the payout. I assume poker does something like this as well but maybe not.

     I think assigning players to random leagues will solve the collusion problem but I wonder how they will regulate trades. maybe it will be a lawless madd/ron paul jerkoff with zero regulation… but there you run the risk of some moron making such a bad trade that it upsets the fine balance of the league and gives one team an unfair advantage. We have devised a voting system in our Pals Only League but I doubt yahoo will be policing every stupid league so it is likely to be a Fantasy Gone Wild / Madd / ron paul league.

156. yeah um, i missed the fact that dude already answered your question.

157. Ron Paul Supporter Likes The Way Paul Tells It Like It Has No Chance Of Being

     RICHMOND, IN—Self-proclaimed strict constitutionalist and freethinker Rick Crawford told reporters Monday he is supporting Ron Paul in the 2012 Republican presidential primaries because of the way the candidate looks people directly in the eye, doesn’t mince words, and tells it like it will never, ever be in a million years. “Ron cuts right through the fat and doesn’t sugarcoat anything when he talks about policies that would be absolutely impossible to implement, like abolishing the federal income tax, eliminating Medicare, or putting the nation’s currency back on the gold standard,” Crawford said as he pounded a hand-painted “Ron Paul 2012″ sign in his front lawn. “He’s not afraid to give Americans no-nonsense straight talk about his completely delusional fantasy world. That’s why I’m part of the highly unlikely Ron Paul revolution.” Sources close to Crawford’s family said his wife supports Mitt Romney because of the way he tells it like people want to hear it.

158. poke poke

159. i said: POKE POKE

160. yeah, things can never change, and things will always be the same. the oil will last forever.

     #retardretard

161. so, the plan is, you get in a private H2H league with wwhazz… you each draft entire teams, allow yahoo and paypal to break the UIGEA. also join that $300 rigged league. then, at the end of next season, we sue, and shut down yahoo and paypal and make $1,000,000.

     cal. it’s time to put that lawyerin to work. let me know if you need me to bring a futuristic knife over to cut your gurldik off.

162. Let’s do this.

163. i’m done with new york… just saw “it’s kind of a funny story” with zack gallonofnadgizz… it was kind of a stupid story.

164. Good. I hate that place. Join my vow to never set foot in NYC or Boston.

     This, I command.

165. that girldick should have been cut years ago. i am in.

166. nude post for the overthrow of paypal.

     this is finally happening.

     #forthechildren

167. also looking for a RAID enclosure with dual 2TB drives with RAID 1 mirroring… hotswap would be nice.

     this is what i’m looking at…

     i had a single external mybook 1TB drive with no cooling for 2 years now… no problems with it… so i’m thinking the negative reviews are just haters from the other drive manufacturers because western digital balls pretty hard and agressive in the market

168. i finally ordered the new mac mini… it’s on its way from shenzhen… just like my fake jordans. i got the CPU upgrade, and disk upgrade, but i wasn’t about to pay $200 for the memory boost from 2x2GB to 2x4GB. i can buy the 2x4GB cards by themselves for $40… that is pretty ballsy to try and get $200 AND the 2x2GB cards on a trade-in.

     oh, apple. hopefully that money will go towards some really good nets so the factory jumpers stay alive a little longer.

169. fuck it. whazz tech support is too slow. i bought the mybook studio II… only concern is the drives run hot because there isn’t a fan… but i don’t want fan noise in my living room, and this is just for backups, so it won’t be writing to disk very often, and when it does it should be done very quickly. i ain’t scurrrrred.

170. whazzmaster.com: nude post for the overthrow of paypal

171. There is a baby reflex called the fencers pose. Ri does it all the time. It’s basically the hulk hogan flex he does after a win. Google image infant fencers pose and the hulk hogan flexing to see for yourself.

172. i’m headed over to braun’s bay on halfmoon lake surrounding historic carson park… going to drill a few holes and test the waters, then going back tomorrow morning at 7am to fish with rach-o’s cousin… a 3rd shifter at the electric company phone center… so sunday morning is like his friday night. the netherlands didn’t have a fight this week… just ovaryeem re-runs… but i like timeshifting and getting to participate in friday night 3 days a week.

173. dropped my locator in a bunch of abandoned holes… 8-9ft, light weeds, moderate rocky bottom… didn’t see any fish until i got to the other side of the lake, then there were tons, all near the bottom. very confident about bringing some home tomorrow morning

174. if you know where to cop hot new scientist tracks… then cop yourself over there and cop that new dickfoweed track

     #BANGINROUGHCUT

175. holy tits j dilla dropped the auto tune remix in .m4a (whatisthatformat) %$$#foreal

176. I had a dream that Donald driver signed with Baltimore.

177. Cal, does your goat farmer still owe you? We could go After him.

178. I’m waiting to debut the song with bry guy later today.

     Madddddd, Carlos gave me a nytimes yesterday. I saw a possible new career for you:
     http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/18/technology/drones-with-an-eye-on-the-public-cleared-to-fly.html

179. Dont tell me there is any other reason for this than to make boba fett:

     http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2012-02-05/health/bs-hs-million-veteran-program-20120204_1_heart-disease-post-traumatic-stress-disorder-framingham-study/2

180. Or a clone army… You know what I mean.

181. Dude playing “what if” with fantasy baseball 1982. Yount and Paulie were big time:

     http://www.faketeams.com/2012/2/18/2801773/retro-fake-teams-fantasy-baseball-1982#storyjump

182. Dirty lies: http://www.centralwisconsinsports.net/2012/02/cws-hot-bite-panfish-northerns-stretching-lines/

183. The new song debuted down in my office yesterday. Brian described it as showing maturity. Nice drum work.

184. Now bry is working on his own song called “one dick at a time”

185. which version did you listen to? the new one has my auto tuned.

186. josh recorded himself playing drums and guitar and singing the chorus and doubles in place… so 4 tracks… then he sent it to me, and i dj clue’d a single track over it in 1 take… sent it back to him, he flipped the auto tune switch and exported the .m4a… easy peasy japanesey.

     j-dills will appreciate the drum shout… he considers himself a drummer first.

187. march 25th is my shorty’s 1 year anniversary with life… j-dills is coming up on the saturday before to make another banger. bri-guy said he wants to play guitar on the next track… so, BGw/D, you know where to be. on the day after march twenty 3. that is march 24th. (at my house)

     http://www.hazz, would rippity skippity want to play with an assload of 20 monthers?

188. instead of generating fake words, there is a new tool for generating sentences

189. white supremacist and black inner-city gang member join forces to make meth…

     breaking good?

190. NFL network did a show about the top 10 packers of all time… lots of shots of donald driver in the intro, but then some asshole radio commentator says “you only know ‘green bay’ because of the packers”… uh… speak for yourself ASSHAT. i know green bay, because my family lives there, and because i’m not a FUCKING RETARD. * click *… i guess i’ll never know who the top 10 packers are. except that sterling sharpe is #1.

191. We will be in the twin titties that weekend. Eau is not far. I can come down Saturday; the rest of the gang can join us for the party on Sunday.

192. March 16-26 is the end of Belly’s maternity leave. We are partying straight through it. The front end is down in Peoria for a few nights and then we will drive up to the cities to stay at her sister’s place.

     In between, we will pit stop in a random Iowa town.

193. i was out on the ice for 5 hours on sunday morning… again, not a single bite. some guy that lives on the lake came over and blamed it on the DNR poisoning the water to kill weeds. fish locator was beeping like whoa though, so i’m not sure. he also said there were 10 times as many bass in the lake that it should be able to support. there were about 5 groups of 2-3 dudes out, i never saw a fish. also, got sunburned on my face while wearing sunglasses and a balaclava… so, that’s attractive.

194. *than it should be able to support.

     #toomanybass

195. so the bass are all stunted… like 10-11″… the DNR blames the low bluebill on bass eating them, how the fuck is a 10″ bass going to eat a 6″ bluegill?

     maybe i should just move to minnesnowta. 10,000 lakes… 1 of them has to still be good…. RIGHT?!#*(&!#%)&(!#^

     STOP PISSING IN THE LAKES, CAL)*(&#%!)&*(!#%^0789!#%^

196. “pit stop in a random Iowa town.”… is that code for dubuque?

197. We will probably go deeper into the state, try to hit the halfway point between Peoria and MN.
     It’s me and belly and Ri and Parky, so Mystique is not all that high up on the family “to do” list.
     I figure I can get my casino fix in Peoria at the Pair-a-dice Casino and Cantaburrrrry on the other end.

198. I played poker every weekend over the last month. Short sessions, but still poker. Friday I stopped at Ho Chunk on my way home from a conference in Wausau and played 1 hr of 3-6. I lost $4.

     And Saturday I played the $55 re-buy at Dejope. It’s the one where the winner gets to play in a 20 person freerole for a main event seat. You can only rebuy if you go broke. I didn’t need to rebuy.

     Only 53 players entered. It started at 7:00; I was bounced at 10:00 in 20th place. My dad took 10th. Top 7 paid, first was a G and some change.

     Near the end, I lost a top 5 in chips sized pot with my QQ vs an AK and my death rattle was my red 22 vs dudes black 1010. I flopped 3 hearts but no flush. My dad went out when he shoved his 77 on a J high board. AK called and spiked an A on the river. A win had him in the top 3 in chips.

     Most of the players are good. No craziness. It’s a tough tourney.

199. bill frist decided it would be best that i not play poker anymore. i must respect his informed decision as he is my high glorious leader and his decisions are high and glorious.

     praise be frist. amen

200. ooooooooooooooh

201. sharpe jersey for $400…

202. so china got my order for the mac on friday at 8:55pm local… they got the thing through hong kong and shenzhen, to anchorage alaska at 1:23pm local on friday… 7 hours of time travel… then the stupid slow americans got their hands on it and it took 2 days to get to kentucky and it’s been stuck there since.

     stupid kentucky.

203. the TV show “Luck” captivated me… i don’t know what’s going on, but gambo gambo chinamen and fixed horseracing and thuggin and muggin and slangin and bangin…

     EB&D was sort of shitty. kenny’s lifestyle can not conducive to child support. i don’t want to see this story play out. maybe kenny should start cooking meth.

204. Luck looks cool.

     Eastbound had its moments last year (the mexican standoff, lil Erin, his closer entrance, stevie’s girlfriend) but the whole Don Johnson dad thing was dumb. I was excited for the new season, hope it picks up.

     We are into season 3 of breaking bad… bell dude is back. Ding!

205. i was way way way excited for the new season of EB&D at the end of last season… but then a few days ago i saw the sizzle trailer for this season, and everything looked dumb… like the writers were busy spending their money. episode 1 included no surprises (which would have been excitedly welcome)… we’ll see. i hope it picks up too.

     season 3 was probably my favorite, but season 4 UNBELIEVABLY remains at the same quality level throughout. i gave up thinking there were no outs for the characters long ago. i think the producers just like up all the would-be writers they can find, and give them a ton of free meth and lock them in a room. then, the 10,000,000 monkeys write some shakespeare and are disposed of. SO bad. broken.

206. *line up

207. j-dills just dropped another track on me. even slower and gentile and somehow more vulgar than ever. he is challenging me. time to drop the freestyle 1-take FIRE.

     #winning

208. don’t worry about those seattle cops that beat up those innocent people after turning off their dash-cam and threatening to “make stuff up” to justify the beatings…. the police union has confirmed they were just “bantering”…

     FUCK. DA. PO. LEESE.

     die slow.

209. I had a dream!

     That I fell through the ice ice fishing.

210. a couple more d00ds died yesterday around here… on snowmobiles and fell in… i think they were trying to ride over the open water though.

     the lake around here has aerators, so there are still big patches of open water… and the ice creeks and cracks very loud. probably about 11″ think though, so i ain’t scurred. i’m probably going to go again this weekend.

211. at this point, i’m so pissed off at the fish, that if i catch anything, i’ll just stomp the fuck out of it and rip the flesh out with my bare hands and eat it raw. goddamn fish pissing me off

     %#)&*!#^&)(!#^*()!%#()&*!%#*(&!%#

212. n00b post. thumbs hurt.

     also, i was promised exciting news when you got back to madivilleburg.

     WHAT IS THE NEWS?#!%*(&)!#%&)(!#%

213. new tosh.o and key & peele tonight… also should be a new nasty track out this week… would have already come out, but my fucking $2,000 interface that ties everything in tha labbbb together has a shotty power harness…. trying to fix it myself.

214. Ri has a onsie with an owl riding on a turtle. I tell her it’s torutga’s head on the tortoise rigged with c4.

215. i just dropped another nasty bros classic. J-Dice tried to trip me up with a slow ass love ballad, but i countered with multiple personalities.

     #winning

     i got the super rough mix, but passed on the hi-fi to dillins to mix down and master.

216. So far season 3 is my least favorite. Too much baby mama drama and Tuco’s cousins are too scary. I don’t see how Walt gets out of that jam. His only out is probably Hank. They do a lot more to make Hank badass this season… to set up a battle with the cousins, make it seem like they were in town to retaliate for Tuco’s death?

     I guess that’s my guess. But don’t tell me.

     Also, Walt seems inconsistent. How did the badass who blew up that car just because a dude annoyed him by talking on the phone at the bank become the dude who throws a plant at the dude who fucks his wife?

     Jesse and Walt are both stuck in funks and I want them out building robots and Doom buggys.

     It’s still early though in the season. We are on #4. I will keep the faith.
     Re:sucking dick for weed
     Catchy as a motherfucker

217. dick for weed is garbage compared to the new jam.

218. enjoy the ride… BB is about to rape your faith and replace it with satisfaction.

     dick for weed remix coming soon with some of my parts quieted down a bit… i did that one in 1 track/1 take, and didn’t adjust the levels at all.

     the new one has 7 tracks that i recorded, chopped the shit out of them, added a zillion fades, and adjusted levels throughout. my 1st verse begins with me welcoming my wife (me) home with a hearty “HOLLLARIT”, quickly transforming into a domestic squabble that results in a proposition.

219. d for w is not as funny as past songz, but it is very hummable.

220. So my entire life I thought I was a dragon on the Chinese zodiac—the simplified version on Chinese placemats simply lists the years.

     But now I find out I’m a rabbit. The new year started on Jan 31, not Jan 1. So 21 puts me in the 1975 crew of rabbit.

     Pi is a rabbit. Rabbit is luckiest, but dragon is badass.

     This is some big news that I just wasn’t ready for today.

221. And now I’m incompatible with my rooster wife… I needed this info 6 years ago.

222. My entire worldview is in question. Maybe I’m dragon transgendered.

223. i’m a horse. pretty obvious.

     #hugedick

224. is cal a dragon? watch out… he’s moving in on that rooster.

225. Cal’s a gerbil.

226. cal, your silly friends are killing people

227. Save your breff. Cal’s thumbs can’t get down here.

228. It’s just you and me deep in the sewers like ninja turtles.

229. i was just looking at my amazon order history… i’m def a donatello… all i do is machines and weapons.

230. but i’m also a party d00d…

231. i can certainly be cool and crude, too… and i lead like WHOA

     #radicalrat

232. fuck the FBI, and fuck cal’s thumbs