Dubuque 2012 (nee my dadchelor party) has now come and gone, and I can say for certain that we did not come out winners this year. More incredibly still, it seems that down is up and now we prefer Diamond Jo’s to Mystique. I don’t know if there’s much more to report on that topic, at least that wouldn’t get us all in trouble.
On the trip I brought up the idea of nominating and voting on a Comment of the Year award here at whazzmaster.com, and it seemed warmly received. The Top Three in my mind are as follows:
1. Scientist Tells Us About A Bed
rach-o just spent more money on a new bed than any other single thing in our house cost. when i yelled at her, she said i should “feel lucky” because of how much she could have spent, but didn’t…. and also that it’s a “good investment”……
i am so dumb.
i forgot all about that lucrative used bed market)*(&!#%&)*(!#%)&*(#$^*()$@^&*(!#%&*(!#%&*(!#%*()
2. Scientist Talks About Tech Bubbles
i have seen terminator AND terminator 2. i know all about tech bubbles.
#SHOTTY
I fear I shall have no heir… now even a girl one. i am approaching the winter of my life… my vision… becomeing blurred, who is there? is that you, scientist? i can see your apple ball now… throw… the high… heeat..
Who will keep my pocket knives oiled when I ascend into the great beyond? WHO???? who will prostalitze pinkco propaganda upon thy whazzmaster.com? WHO????????????????????// whooooooooooooooooo Away! away! for I will fly to thee… the viewless wings of Poesy. Thou wast not born for death, immortal Bird! #keatsbitchessssssss
So there you go, do you have any Comments Made in 2012 that we should consider for the inaugural award? Let me know.
A devious monkey sent me this:
So we’re down to the wire on the whole having-a-kid front here at WM Central Command- I’m not sure there will be many more posts between now and the Joyous Occasion, but you all’ll be the first to know!
313 thoughts on On Bourbon Street
go mets you sonofabitch
#RAPEGANG2013
rape
rape
rape
rape
RAPE
RAPE
RAPE
RAPE
RAPE
RAPE
CHICKEN STICKS
#BITERSGETDEALTWITH
1. Hair
2. Scar
3. Teeth
4. The serious look on the left
5. The sexy smile on the right
6. Mets
7. Pockets empty if debt
8.
mets fans aspire to be poorer.
8)
sunglasses d00d is dead again?
Canny ghost got him
8)
8)
8)
So in 1990 you were riding Howard Johnson’s nuts? Did you have an INKLING that you would one day be employed by the man himself? How did you justify this? AL/NL? Did MAZ give you shit for wearing that Mets shit to picture day? Did Greg? Did you comb your own hair? Did you use one of them black cutie combs? Did you try to wear sunglasses for the pic?
This pic, like all great pics, leaves us with more questions than answers. But isn’t that the point of great works of art?
Shit. It’s a long fing time before the next canny trip.
My final actions on Saturday are fuzzy. I think me and skeezer cut cards for my last green chip. He won, spent it on 25 McChickens.
My gambo reserves are at $20 in Daily Joust, zero in pocket.
WE WILL REBUILD!!!!
Football is down to the final 4. Winner in two weeks gets $500.
Me vs BOP
Showtime vs VeeeeOli
bourbon street
i can’t find the real song…. searching the internet for “mardi gras girls” or “on bourbon street” isn’t even a good rabbit hole…….. it might be the worst search on the internet.
1) I have waited the compulsory few days for hangovers to wane. I now request a full recount of the canny trip. go.
2) I think I’m supposed to be in SPACE in that pic. I look like a superman villan. I wish my faces were smiling at each other a la brady bunch.
3) how about that bad ass scar?
4) this was probably 1986 or ’87. I was rooting hard for the mets against the sox in the ’86 world series and they came through in glorious fashion (bill buckner) if you need a refresher:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1986_World_Series
My grandparents lived on long island and I considered myself an honorary new yorker plus my grandmother was a mets fan. DID YOU KNOW? the mets entered the MLB in 1962. their colors are ORANGE and BLUE. these colors were chosen to appeal to lost fans of the GIANTS (oragnge) and DODGERS (blue). THE MORE YOU KNOW —*
1. Going from a life of green tea and oatmeal to brownies, bourbon and McChickens leads to a spinal meningitisy hangover.
2. My money went from broke to rich to broke to really broke.
3. The canfield is still haunted.
4. The karaoke was busto this year. Last call on Saturday night was me and a geezer who promises a terrorist attack THIS WEDNESDAY.
5. The newest and bestest way to fondle a nipple: make your index and middle finger into a scissors, wiggle back and forth in the OPPOSITE way a scissors normally opens and closes (feel free to pantomime this action a few times to get the hang of it).
6. Apples were eaten.
7. Hammys were tight.
8. 8) is dead again
That video is some shitty band’s private mardi gras girls video/commercial for their shit song. It was sold at one gas station, one time. There is a website on the box but we might need the way back machine to see it.
Which is why I need to get it copied to DVD.
yo cal, are you….. CRYING?!
broken karaoke that blows. I would have demanded my money back. Random Flashback: you knnw how the EL in chicgo announces each stop? like: “THIS IS DIVISION” THIS IS WABASH.” my favorite was always: “THIS IS GRAND” kcar and I got all english major giggly over it one time.
Indeed, computer voice, this is grand.
that reminds me.. wwhazz what was your dumb major? not english I dont think… or what it? paul L, k-car, ktk, and me were all english homies. were you?
ps you should have stopped at rich.
oneil?
michael springer? jen h?
oops full name. sorry michigan
Maddd did cry quiet tears.
Cum tears! Cum tear!
Maddd cried cum tears!
WHAT THEM TEARS MADE OUT OF???
)*(&!#^)(&*!^#078(!^#)(&* THEY MADE OUT OF CUUUUUUUMMMMMM#^)(&#%)&*(%!#(*&^#!&*(!#^&*(^#!(*&!^#*(&!^#(&*
just what america needs… another indebted jobless lawyer.
#THANKSCAL
cal, have you thought about getting into the fracking game? what about crazy butt shit? crazy crazy butt shit?
HAPPY BIDAY SKEEZER! GOD BLESS YOU.
This bukkake card won me 21st and $20. So fing close. It socred 139.84 and first was 191.94. The goddamn seahawks D scored 40 soem points– that was the difference.
Tom Brady 28.44
Ryan Mathews6.50
Matt Forte 13.40
Calvin Johnson 14.30
Jeremy Maclin 18.65
Pierre Garcon 16.15
Aaron Hernandez 19.80
Graham Gano 12.60
Indianapolis Colts 10.00
My other card was also good. Combine the two and you have a weiner.
Aaron Rodgers14.12
Ahmad Bradshaw 3.30
David Wilson 28.00
Mike Wallace 24.95
Jeremy Maclin 18.65
Pierre Garcon16.15
Vernon Davis 0.65
Garrett Hartley 8.70
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7.00
Bukkake luvin.
Cla, did you ever get your b day gift? Did I send you the same thing last year? A reminder went off on my phone and I followed its instruction.
it’s not my birthday, you retards. i just set that on G+ because those assholes kept asking me for it.
also said i live in antarctica and work for “pimping your mother, inc.”
#FUCKDATAMINERS
i’m going to update my b-day every day just to milk st00pid “smart” phone users into buying me shit.
#WHOISSMARTNOW
Madddd’s in the January gang. Only dummies too dumb to be born in January are born in December.
I wish there was an internet channel that let people watch me make my bukkake picks. I’m sure some Korean would like it. Maybe oneil.
ugggggg…. do you understand what that giant electronic device on the table near your front door actually does???
how do you think this channel would know when you were ready to start? you’d have to hit a button, right? and when you’re done? another button? yes yes? yes-yes? open youtube. hit record. done.
as simple as that is, i already hear you’re deafening #UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGTOOOOOOOOHARDMEDUM…….. there are also “hangouts on air”. i could start a hangout, ask you stoooopid questions, and the world benefits. links to dailyjoust with your affiliate ID all over a website dedicated to linking to the hangout files.
just need a domain…………. wirksuplex.com?? wwhazz.com is available. probably not anymore… those jow rigged producers of the league probably already squatted it. FUCKER&*()#%!^)&*(!#^)(S
#YOUR)(&@#^)*(!^#*()^*(^!#*(&^&*(@^$
How do I get cal to watch?
Did you know Rod Streater is on FIRE?
Who catches the ball for the jerks this weekend? Is it a cobb money? A Jones week?
Crabass?
look. i need that bourbon street tape. i also need my VHS player back from rach-0′s grandma. she was complaining one day that they don’t sell them anymore, and used ones are all broke… i explained that i had a pristine one that i had kept since my VHS video production days (#SHOUTSTORUMMYTHUMBYS #ONLYPERSONTHATEVERRELATEDTOHER) anyways… the grammma’s husband died, and she can’t even get down to her basement anymore where it’s hooked up. and i NEED it to dub a tittie flick and rip a HOT track.
uggggggggggggg.
also, to the haters, my first thought upon seeing rach-0s knackers after dubbin was “perfect. so much better than any of those mardi gras slutz.”
#WHYELSEWOULDIGETMARRIED
#UNDENIABLEPERFECTION
i did the new sidewayz-scissors trick and got yelled at….
#SCIENCE
abandon all hope ye who enter here
http://www.mardigrasrecords.com/store/cart.php?m=product_detail&p=13
not your bday??? debbie downer. yo bro I got no gift what’s up with that? maybe in transit.
I emailed the mf who sent it. It looked kinda like trash. Maybe e tossed it.
come on, e
thanks for your trash gift. e says “no i don’t even have the mail key.” and this is true. who is the dude who sent it? who threw it away? the mystery deepens.
The gift can 100% be classified as trash but I think you will like it. Got any junk?
It was hard to track down. The man I’m dealing with is a lunatic hoarder. There were about 278 red flags raised during our transaction. When he offered to email me a tracking number I told him to just send the goddamned thing. Dumb move on my part, I know. But how many times have I sent something and had it arrive? 100% of the time, bro.
Tracking numbers are for hos.
I’d check her key chain. Where does she hide secret things? She has a key. I’m sure of it.
Tune in to whazzmaster.com and break the dial off. Keep it locked: whazzmater.com.
Later tonight we will have the maddddddddd scientist and the quiet storm.
I emailed dude. His response:
Hi – this shipped via Priority Mail on the 28th. You requested that tracking not be used, so I’m afraid there is no way to tell you where it may be in the process. It’s a bit overdue, but not unusual. I’m sure it’ll arrive soon.
you cant kiss me
it’s time for STREET SOLDIERS, where, tonight, just like every night, we talk about the difference between ending a word in “a” and “er”… BECAUSE WE’RE RACIST.
#TUNEIN
Cla, are you waiting with masturbated breath for the results of the foo ball championships? Who do you want in the finals?
Me or BOP? Showtime or Veeeeeoli?
Peapds and oneil: dead
Kcar: dead
Outlawz: dead
Timmer: dead
Greg: dead
Two other dudes you do not know: dead
I need this $500, bad. My gambo money is gone. And I owe shabbos’s entry bc kcar polluted my league with a deadbeat manager.
Ah, coach:
http://www.centralwisconsinsports.net/2012/11/reflections-on-the-2012-hunt/
cal has masturbation breath
How safe is your sex?
Safe enough?
WRONG
Wrap it up, pull it out: Every time.
Something else is going on in that artiCAL.
I think it’s an allegory for a far more treacherous trespass.
Train your vas deferens to reverse the flow of cum.
Till next time,
Shoot backwards
skeezer, bring the fam down saturday night. join us for a fudge packer party.
Kcars, you too.
Will anyone watch my bukkake show? I’ve got some picks, bro.
I DONT WAIT FOR OLD PEOPLE
Some FUN FUN
15 min from my last lecture of the year, folks. I got the sillies today.
i hopped the hard 8 and hit…. only hop bet all weekend.
an “er” next to me bet every 3rd or so roll on the field for $2… then, out of nowhere hopped the 6-3 for $5…. and of course hit. even his “ho” was amused.
#BITCHYOUBETTERBEAMUSED)(&*#!^&*()!#^
stickman: $150 to the “a”
er: i’m an “er”
street soldiers: tune it at 9pm every night! WE’RE STILL ARGUING)*(&#^%)(*&!#^)(*!^#$
That Coach article on The Importance of Hunting Safety was excellent. Coach needs to post on whazzmaster. I edited Coach’s work slightly to make it a poem:
I saw Horse Riders, riding horses in deer-colored clothing, browns and grays.
I saw joggers wearing grays, browns, and whites.
Had they been at Fleet Farm the day before
The hunt, they would be the first in line
To purchase Blaze Orange.
One family walking a private snowmobile trail up north,
The father seemed pretty shaken up by it, and I hope that he was.
Whazzmaster.com: Noteworthy Situations that I Would Like to Share
Whazzmaster.com: The Fragrance of Alcohol
Whazzmaster.com: Going After Varmints, Etc.
A- great job!
Go back and read all things coach when you get the chance.
got any junk?
timmer is an “er”
Brian has a lot of junk on g plus. I wish that fuck would just post it here like a normal dilwad. I have like 1 day a year to fuck off at work and that day is today. Other g plus gems will be buried and lost forever.
I aint no mr universe.
https://twitter.com/WausauLoner
timmuh is a “ghey fheg”
sandwich love……. no tomatoes
have a taste of gino
My Doc cxled an appointment for today. The secretary called on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and today and left messages telling me it is cxled. I also received an email.
I get the point. You left 1000 messages. No appointment, no problem. I’m not fucking wasting my time to call back. You dumped me.
Today the crazy fuck takes it to the next level and calls jess (I think both at home and work) to tell her to tell me not to go to my appointment.
THEN they call me again and try to reschedule the appointment for TODAY. They were all apologetic like: sorry to cxl… can we try another time for today? And THEN THEY CALLED AGAIN. And made an appointment for today at 2:00 and wanted to know if I could just be there at 2:00 (I was in lecture).
AND THEN they found an ancient file from 1998 where I listed my work number as the Hojo AND THEY FUCKING CALLED THE DOUBLE TREE LOOKING FOR ME.
A nice blast from the past for Tom Z, I’m sure.
Get me another bump!@JH@@@I
last night belly took her socks off and yelled: my feet are on fire, my feet are on fire!
the ol’ Hot Foot trick! dance belly dance!
Tales from the electric blanket.
I hate electric blankets. I hate getting cooked under the covers.
Belly loves em. Brrrrrr she says when she gets under the covers . Brrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Christmas 2010 her parents gave us an electric bedspread for xmas. I hated it, but chose to suffer the heat over her brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. So she gets in bed, cranks it, falls asleep, and sometime in the middle of the night realizes she is roasting so she kicks all the blankets on the floor and just sleeps on the warm bed spread. Later that year, we got a new bed– I’m still hoping to flip that fucker. The electric thing did not fit our new bed. We concluded the winter with traditional blankets.
Christmas 2011 her parents got another electric bedspread but this one has dual controls so we can each control the environment on our side. Problem solved, right?
Belly set it up a few weeks ago, but she put it on upside down. Her controller controlled my side, mine hers. So I set mine to 0, she sets mine to a million and I got roasted. This goes on for a few nights until we realize what the fuck it up and I set her temp with mine and she leaves mine alone. Problem: she is still in the set it high, kick all the blankets off pattern, so I not only do not get blankets, I cannot control any heat on my side.
New problem: when we were in Dubuque she switched the controllers to the correct side. Now we each set our own heat. She didn’t tell me this. So last night, she was brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring pretty hard, so I set her heat to high. But it was really my own heat, so I cooked myself.
The end
iwanttogohome
I wonder how many calls flippers gets about cla.
andthenthemidgetstrippersaidicannothelpitimshort
Anything else for me to look at?
OY RAHEEB
I thought this was thought provoking and I’m not even a teacher:
http://www.newyorker.com/talk/comment/2012/12/17/121217taco_talk_menand
the dumbest people i knew growing up are now elementary school teachers. 3 of the dumbest people i knew. people that couldn’t spell most 4 letter words. not even the good fucking ones, just like… HAND… SORRY, CAN’T SPELL IT. #MEDUM…. but maybe it doesn’t take much more than a 1st grade education to provide a 1st grade education.
i consider my schooling as ideal… but rayray legislators have since realized it’s ideality and of course shut it down.
the government is universally broken. kill all the lawyers. #IBLAMECAL
#ITS)(*&!#%^*)(!^#(*^!$*(!#^
TNG marathon on SIFFY… WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
cal needs a kick in his complacency to prepare him for what lays ahead.
lies ahead?
picard.
the internet is way faster than you educated retards
#AUTODIDECTATION
i just saw on twitter that ricky and the boys are doing a show in duluth tonight…. he tweeted a pick of him in the hallway of the hotel, wearing the houndstooth shirt, holding up a half empty bottle of makers mark.
UGGGGGGG
#WHYMENOTHERE
they are doing a show tomorrow night in minneapolis
tickets are sold out.
i can’t imagine passing this up. someone make this happen.
No Rand?
ricky, julian, bubbles, randy & mr. lahey
i might just go awol and try to get in.
We need to do a better job of monitoring these tours.
#IBLAMECAL
also, for every show, they hide 2 tickets, and give clues about where they are hidden on twitter.
CAL)*(&#!^*()!#^ you ruin EVERYTHING!#^())*(!^#)&*(!^#)&(!^#)(&*!#^*()_!^#*()_$@
Alaska NPR local news
A man in a white van with front windows and no other windows (rape van) tried to pick up two elementary students. The suspect had long black hair in a pony tail, a star tattoo on his neck, and was wearing a top hat.
A man is wanted for disorderly conduct. He dumped hot chocolate on the PBX at a Juneau Best Western.
Fishing report is next
UGGGGGG… WHEN ARE THE FANTASY PICKS???? I ALWAYS MISS THAT SHOW.
from the mind that brought you “crazy butt shit… crazy, CRAZY butt shit”…. comes “throw 2 tarps down in your backYard, and flood-dabitch.”
fuck around and make my water bill SKY HIGH.
i hope creinke caught AIDS
do you see what your anti-gun rhetoric is doing cal????
#BLAMED
buddy….. i don’t know who you are….. but, you’re about to get chlamydia
Alaska ranks No. 1 for chlamydia. I learned that from my Alaska NPR listening today.
I’ve been waiting with worm baited breath for someone to ask about my picks.
a squirrel gang has taken interest in my flood game. i think they are planning to set up a still downstream. #SMART
HOW ABOUT THOSE PICKS????
SHOULD I PLAY TOM BRADY OR GS3??? PEYTON OR RYAN? WHERE IS FLYNNNNN?!#%()*&!#^(*&)!#^
the black squirrel gang episode of “unsupervised” is on, which features school violence… lots of synergy today… no talk of clap, though….
Play tom g 4 and Rod Streater and Harry Douglas.
I’ve taken to calling dicks Harry Douglases
Thanks for making me watch a Tommy Hilfiger ad before letting me read the NY Times article on the shootings. Stay classy you fucking kunts.
JOW RIGGED JOKE
i am going to put another 50 in my DailyJerks account and go all in on the superJ. i want to do a hangout “on air” sometime this weekend with a screen share of setting up the picks.
should i make 5 very similar teams with minor tweaks? or 5 very different random shots? should i play grabass and get the most expensive kicker and D?? all will be discussed… THIS WEEK…. ONNNNNNNNNNNNN….
fuck, does the show have a name yet?
THIS WEEK ON, “FUCK, DOES THE SHOW HAVE A NAME YET?”!!!
somewhere within 90 minutes of my house…… randy and mr lahey are rubbin diks…. ricky is…. RICKYING…. bubbles… HE’S THERE)(&!%#)(&!#%)(&!#% JULIAN*()&#!%&*(!#^%*()!#%*)(#!%^&*()#!%^&*()#!*)(&!#^*&
cal, you fucking JERK)(&*!^!#)^(&)*(!#^)*(!#^
i am really really mad about this.
i just suggested to my wife i just start driving, and she seemed OK with it.
maybe i should.
i always wanted to go to a beastie boys concert before i died…. THEN THEY DIED.
fuck.
CAL*()&#^&*()!#^*(&)!#^*()!#^*()!#^
Godspeed if you make the trip. Otherwise, we can have Bukkake Picks Live! later tonight or Saturderrrr.
Lawman might watch.
One of them green mountains from my Friday night indiscretions was soooo goddamned many bukakke picks.
it’s a date. i’ll try to get rach-o to flash… she’s been parading them around all night.
BEWARE THE UNIMPREGNATED WOMAN. THEY WILL RAPE YOU.
Yep.
I guarantee there is science behind that.
We are putting up a baby tree we paid a lumberjack to kill, haul to madison, and hire an old man to sell in a parking lot.
I want to hear rach-o’s picks.
I want to hear peapods picks too.
What time you want to do the show? 8:00?
sidewayz-scissors action
I am ready to buy some slaves.
ugg… me too, but fake whazztime requires i post to see how long ago you said that.
both shorties are sleeping. rach-o is off getting her butthole waxed.
wow… pretty close.
gambo time.
visa called me up today to make sure i wanted to waste my money. i told them to fuck off and transfer me to a mastercard representative.
#DEALTWITH
actually, my deposit didn’t go through… funds still not showing. DAILY JERKS)&)@(#*_()*#%!_(*$!#_)*($!#
Coach, you loaded?
somehow i convinced myself this was the last week of the NFL season…
#MEDUM
i let rach-o bukkake my last $10… as she was filling out the card, she says “turn around and get ur heels on, i need a tight end”
i ask, “what are you going to do with it?”
“pinch it.”
rach-o got michael turner… but then paired it with the G-string D… pretty much guaranteeing a loss.
#BUKKKKKKKAKKKKKKE)_(*#^)(*!^#*)_(#!^~
and somehow i bet money on crosby to not suck?!#^)&!#^)(!^#*)(!^#
i should have just burned $50… WITH FIRE)*(&#^@)*(@^$_*()!#^_()*
#SODUM
104991: NFL – Week 15 – King Arthur’s $250BB Free For All (Sun only) Oh no! You lost to jgib30, 107.86-167.45. Your team is
Pos Name Game Score
QB Ben Roethlisberger Pit @ Dal 19.76
RB C.J. Spiller Buf v. Sea 16.85
RB Ryan Mathews SD v. Car 3.75
WR Mike Wallace Pit @ Dal 10.50
WR Randall Cobb GB @ Chi 11.00
WR Vincent Jackson TB @ NO 9.60
TE Tom Crabtree GB @ Chi 0.00
K Blair Walsh Min @ StL 26.40
DEF Green Bay Packers GB @ Chi 10.00
jgib30′s team is
Pos Name Game Score
QB Russell Wilson Sea @ Buf 39.40
RB Adrian Peterson Min @ StL 27.20
RB Knowshon Moreno Den @ Bal 19.10
WR Brian Hartline Mia v. Jac 8.95
WR Danny Amendola StL v. Min 15.30
WR Joshua Morgan Was @ Cle 7.00
TE Antonio Gates SD v. Car 10.10
K Blair Walsh Min @ StL 26.40
DEF Carolina Panthers Car @ SD 14.00
OH NO!
#BUKKAKE
brandon walsh paid off big…
i was also betting heavy on flo-bee…. and now, PET flo-bee.
#HAIRCUT
i’m ready for tommy grabass and misson crossbar to run away together to the desert and die. also, rodgers.
#FLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNNFLYNN
cal, are you still pretending to operate under the belief that the legal system serves any continuing good to society? get back in the hamburger game, son… it’s the only TRUE path.
flip… flip…. flippersdelphia
I’d love some monday flippers memories. Or that Pizza place you worked at in Chicago.
pizza story whazz number style:
1) The year is 2001. I live in chicago and I am unhappy. I live with two girls and refer to my home as “the snake pit.”
2) I am unemployed and I am unhappy. I’m sort of “temping” from time to time but not very often because the work sucks.
3) Eroz visits and I am unhappy. Eroz exaperatedly proclaims: “you need to become a bus boy in a shit shop.”
4) I think dammit Eroz is right. I go forth unto my neighborhood. I look for a job.
5) Enter: BA-DA-BING! PIZZERIA. OPENING SOON! NOW HIRING.
6) I slang pizza.
7) Owners are two italian brothers in their 30′s who have muscular arms and do a lot of coke. They are wary of me but they are glad to have me at the register smiling at the customers.
8) In addition to BA-DA-BING! PIZZERIA They also own a club called “BLONDE.” they sell t-shirts that say BLOND: NEW YORK, CHICAGO, MILAN. there is only one BLONDE and it is in Chicago.
9) I go to BLONDE and it was lame but I tell the brothers I had a good time at their club. I note all the pretty girls who patronize BLONDE. One of the brother’s looks at me suspiciously and says: “yeah… [suspecious squint]… good puss.”
10) I work there until I get hired by this god awful bank to do home loan refinancing in the basement of the bank.
11) I inform the brothers. I later sit down with one and he asks me what the bank has agreed to pay me. I say $12 per hour. the bother says: “FUCK!!!” and slams his fist down on the table. He could not match the bank’s generous wages.
#goodboy
jesus christ cal…. are you trying to ruin lives?
#INFORMANT
names changed to protect the innocent? i’m not buying the story. too cliche.
#NEEDSWORK
it needs a bookie angle… get on that.
did the trubbbbbbroom make you happy? that’s all i got, unless you can strain the humor from my dripping vitriol.
life options:
1) move to france with the princess… start fresh, never look back, never find the medallion.
2) wait a bit until you convince yourself to execute option 1
3) pretend there is an option 3
breaking whazzzzz rule #1
#WHEREISTHEOLDMAN?!#%(&)!^#)&*(
1. I liked the pizza story. No justice, no pizza.
2. I’m guessing that facebook page has not been updated in 4-5 years, at least. Can that be confirmed?
3. If lawman and peapods had their fantasy teams mate they would have had one hell of a bukakke card: Rodgers, spiller, james jones, julio jones… that’s in the money at least. I was putzing around with this dream team on Sunday but then Pi shit the bath tub. Call of doodie, bro.
Late Saturday I went back and fro: load up on Tampa/NO or leave it…
It seemed like a GOLDEN opportunity, possibly too good to be true. One of my bukke moves is to skip the “sure things.”
FUCK UCJDKJDHD
I’m playing the 40-man $55 if belly lets me deposit. I only have $15 in there.
I’m in this tournament on Sunday:
http://blog.dailyjoust.com/2012/08/8000-prize-nfl-joust/
If you scroll down to 10/11/2012 you see old pal.
get back in the hamburger game, son… it’s the only TRUE path.
The Dirty Burger… such a great idea.
Rand wanted out though.
Cal, any goddamned junk yet?
sorry not yet… is it a Bushmaster AR 15 semi-automtic rifle? you know, like the one used to slaughter children? Because if you wanted you could get me that for fucking christmas because it’s fucking legal because of the NRA. Thanks NRA. go fuck yourself
i found this in the source tree i manage:
$dirty_words = array (’69′,’abortion’,'adult’,'afterbirth’,'aids’,'allah’,'anal’,'anus’,'areola’,'arse’,'ass’,'backdoor’,'backside’,'balls’,'bate’,'beaver’,'bitch’,'blow’,'bondage’,'boner’,'boob’,'boys’,'breast’,'butt’,'cameltoe’,'carnal’,'castrate’,'cherry’,'clam’,'clit’,'cocaine’,'cock’,'coitus’,'condom’,'copulate’,'cornhole’,'crap’,'crotch’,'cum’,'cunnilingus’,'cunt’,'damn’,'deepthroat’,'defecat’,'diaphragm’,'diarrhea’,'dick’,'dildo’,'dirty’,'domination’,'douche’,'dykes’,'ejac’,'erotic’,'fag’,'fart’,'fecies’,'fellatio’,'fetish’,'flaccid’,'footjob’,'foreskin’,'fornicat’,'fuck’,'fudgepacker’,'gay’,'genital’,'genitalia’,'girls’,'god’,'godown’,'gonorrheal’,'google’,'gspot’,'gstring’,'handjob’,'hardcore’,'hashish’,'hell’,'herpies’,'homo’,'hooker’,'hore’,'horny’,'hot’,'hump’,'hymen’,'idiot’,'intercourse’,'jackass’,'jap’,'jerk’,'jes’,'jew’,'jizz’,'kinky’,'KKK’,'lesbian’,'lingerie’,'lust’,'malware’,'mammory’,'masturbation’,'nads’,'Nazi’,'nigger’,'nipple’,'nude’,'nudity’,'nuts’,'nymph’,'oneeye’,'oral’,'orgasm’,'orgazm’,'orgy’,'panties’,'pee’,'penis’,'perv’,'pervert’,'phall’,'pillowbiter’,'piss’,'piz’,'porn’,'poo’,'prostitute’,'puss’,'pussy’,'queer’,'queers’,'rape’,'rearentry’,'rectum’,'sadomasochism’,'screw’,'scrotum’,'semen’,'sex’,'shaved’,'shit’,'shower’,'slave’,'slut’,'smeg’,'spanking’,'sperm’,'spunk’,'stink’,'strip’,'stud’,'submissive’,'suck’,'swingers’,'teen’,'tes’,'tete’,'tit’,'toilet’,'torture’,'transsexual’,'transvestite’,'twat’,'underwear’,'urethra’,'urinat’,'urination’,'vagin’,'vagina’,'virgin’,'voyeur’,'wanker’,'warez’,'xxx’);
sucks to be a 69 year old virgin jew….
#DIRTY
ugggggg… fucking shitbox. why do people put up with this shit??????
$dirty_words = array (’69′, ‘abortion’, ‘adult’, ‘afterbirth’, ‘aids’, ‘allah’, ‘anal’, ‘anus’, ‘areola’, ‘arse’, ‘ass’, ‘backdoor’, ‘backside’, ‘balls’, ‘bate’, ‘beaver’, ‘bitch’, ‘blow’, ‘bondage’, ‘boner’, ‘boob’, ‘boys’, ‘breast’, ‘butt’, ‘cameltoe’, ‘carnal’, ‘castrate’, ‘cherry’, ‘clam’, ‘clit’, ‘cocaine’, ‘cock’, ‘coitus’, ‘condom’, ‘copulate’, ‘cornhole’, ‘crap’, ‘crotch’, ‘cum’, ‘cunnilingus’, ‘cunt’, ‘damn’, ‘deepthroat’, ‘defecat’, ‘diaphragm’, ‘diarrhea’, ‘dick’, ‘dildo’, ‘dirty’, ‘domination’, ‘douche’, ‘dykes’, ‘ejac’, ‘erotic’, ‘fag’, ‘fart’, ‘fecies’, ‘fellatio’, ‘fetish’, ‘flaccid’, ‘footjob’, ‘foreskin’, ‘fornicat’, ‘fuck’, ‘fudgepacker’, ‘gay’, ‘genital’, ‘genitalia’, ‘girls’, ‘god’, ‘godown’, ‘gonorrheal’, ‘google’, ‘gspot’, ‘gstring’, ‘handjob’, ‘hardcore’, ‘hashish’, ‘hell’, ‘herpies’, ‘homo’, ‘hooker’, ‘hore’, ‘horny’, ‘hot’, ‘hump’, ‘hymen’, ‘idiot’, ‘intercourse’, ‘jackass’, ‘jap’, ‘jerk’, ‘jes’, ‘jew’, ‘jizz’, ‘kinky’, ‘KKK’, ‘lesbian’, ‘lingerie’, ‘lust’, ‘malware’, ‘mammory’, ‘masturbation’, ‘nads’, ‘Nazi’, ‘nigger’, ‘nipple’, ‘nude’, ‘nudity’, ‘nuts’, ‘nymph’, ‘oneeye’, ‘oral’, ‘orgasm’, ‘orgazm’, ‘orgy’, ‘panties’, ‘pee’, ‘penis’, ‘perv’, ‘pervert’, ‘phall’, ‘pillowbiter’, ‘piss’, ‘piz’, ‘porn’, ‘poo’, ‘prostitute’, ‘puss’, ‘pussy’, ‘queer’, ‘queers’, ‘rape’, ‘rearentry’, ‘rectum’, ‘sadomasochism’, ‘screw’, ‘scrotum’, ‘semen’, ‘sex’, ‘shaved’, ‘shit’, ‘shower’, ‘slave’, ‘slut’, ‘smeg’, ‘spanking’, ‘sperm’, ‘spunk’, ‘stink’, ‘strip’, ‘stud’, ‘submissive’, ‘suck’, ‘swingers’, ‘teen’, ‘tes’, ‘tete’, ‘tit’, ‘toilet’, ‘torture’, ‘transsexual’, ‘transvestite’, ‘twat’, ‘underwear’, ‘urethra’, ‘urinat’, ‘urination’, ‘vagin’, ‘vagina’, ‘virgin’, ‘voyeur’, ‘wanker’, ‘warez’, ‘xxx’);
how is SHOWER a dirty word?????????
#TOILET
the kiddie killer was not bought by the shooter… also, it was the smallest AR-15 clone… 5.56mm, just like greg’s cok…. they have a 7.62mm version. that one hasn’t been used to kill children this week, so that’s the one that should be legal. whether or not it has been used to kill a kid this week should be how all laws are written. there could never be a problem with that. law is easy.
i’m assuming you want to keep the border safe though, right?? so we keep the gustapo checkpoints and give the border patrol agents 7.62mm ARs????? and if one of their children steal the gun and use it to kill anyone, then we outlaw metal.
GENIOUS.
cal, you are so fucking smart.
#THANKS
jfldkajflkdasjflkdsajflsdajf sorry i know i breached the peace but I couldn’t help myself. however, i don’t want to start a war so instead i declare TRUCE. peace among the nations of cal and madd! let us usher in a new era of prosperity! god bless us every one.
i agree. guns for everyone.
#THEONLYTRUEPATH
JES is a dirty word??????????
cal, you fucking idiot… WAKE UP
you’re killing kids. seriously. you suck.
Ho, ho, ho. You ho.
I gave Canfield lung to Jess… and now pi.
I might be banned. The only thing that I did that you fools didn’t do is drink with that hobo in the Rainbow Room. Dude promised me a terrorist attack on 12/12/12. I say the shootings on the 14th count.
Additionally, dude was beyond offended by the Jay Z song 99 problems. He made the Canfield janitor wipe it from the karaoke super computer.
In other news, our basement flooded again. At least this time there was a bit of a jam. Some of the “flushable” inserts with our diapers were jammed in the pipe.
The good news was I got to hang with the 1am plumber dude. He was fun. Now the sanitation dudes are smashing the drywall that me and timmer put up a few weeks back…. ah, coach.
I had a sweet 45 min of sleep last night. Besides dealing with flood, pi’s fever broke the nob off and locked at 103.7. We tried to feed her fever reducer but she kept puking when we put in her mouth. SOoooooooooooooooo that meant a 4 am run to walgreens for suppositories. First the half and then the WHOLE DICK… it worked though.
Now I’m home with a sick babe and workmen. I’m thinking about ordering the new batman.
So it’s crappy (literally) but with kindergarten shootings and hurricane Sandy as possible situations, this is nothing. I have a wonderful wife and baby. You fags are pretty cool. I feel oddly thankful today, possibly due to about 45 min of sleep.
just make sure you deal with all of your haters.
#ONLYTRUEPATH
hurricane sandy??? FUCK YOU.
#DEALTWITH
I’m failing. I have haters all over the map.
The city, the workman dummies, shabbos and his $80 bill.
I gave her another buttfull. I’m learning a lot about how anuses work. One you get past the sphincter doorman, it sucks it right up. I see why buttplugs need knobs.
seems like you know a lot about a little butt fun….
so, are you on the hook for the recent plumbing issues? was it it clog in your pipes, or in the city pipe? did they ever pay for the last time? did you have to pay for their worker dummies?
I’m cyniCAL about heroic actions during the shootings. Maybe the teachers died trying to fight or protect, but I’ve seen too many lies from the military like Jessica Lynch or stories of marines writing “semper fi” in the dirt before dying in war.
I don’t trust heroic narratives. Chaos is chaos and it’s prob impossible to recreate/understand what happened during it.
I insuranced up after the last great flood. So this one is covered. And good luck to the insurance dummy and his ability to separate the previous damage from the current damage.
This clog was in my pipe. The last clog was city but they are lying. We field a lawsuit with the city but they get like 4 months to reply. So that is still up in the air.
Me and jess have a plan to just never go downstairs again.
liars gonna lie…..
#FUCKEVERYTHING
I don’t like these lies because they are attempts to make the unthinkable more palatable.
And maybe these are true but I’ve seen this play before.
i like to think i make cal happy by giving him a reason to be unhappy… thus focusing his unhappiness.
#YOUREWELCOME
yeah, everyone is hating on everyone talking about this shit…. god damn ignorant hypocrites don’t realize THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT IT BY TALKING ABOUT TALKING ABOUT IT)*(#!%^&&*(!#^&)*(!#^)*(!#^)*(
fucking obama interrupted football. for what???? WHAT IS DIFFERENT? did 20 kids not die yesterday at the hands of US soldiers worldwide? were 1000 babies not aborted? was that not called for? how many babies died in car wrecks?
lets have a news conference every time someone dies.
fucking retards.
thanks, cal. you fucking jerk.
ALL I DO FOR YOU, AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?!#^&*()!#^()*!#^()*!#$^&*()!#^&*()!#^&*)!#^*)&!#^&*)(!#^()
RAAAAAAAAAAAAGE*()&!%)&*(
how has that ban on cocaine working out cal? why did you lie about those pizzariaers? it’s banned, and everyone knows that bans are always completely effective. why would you lie?
i’m 100% ok with some magic genie taking all of the guns away just so we can bring in the age of bombs…. oh, i’m sorry, I.E.D.s…. they aren’t “bombs”… that is too scary and my tiny dumdum brain no like.
72 virgins. 1 cal. all suck.
just throwing this out there…. would killing all the jews help?
i’m like 1/16th or 1/32nd… but it’s on my grandpas side, so that doesn’t count, right? cal?!?!
CAN I LIVE????????????
i’m like equal parts german and jew, english and native american, and my armpits are french. pretty sure my dik is african.
#MUTTTTTTTTTT
i gave myself smallpox, then surrendered to my attic.
#GERMAN
Back to the flood II
There have been 3 major city sewer projects outside our home since we moved in. My 1 am plumber buddy says that there could be something fucked up that makes it easy for my house to flood.
I’m mostly Croatian and polish with a sprinkle of German and a splash of French. Too mutty to even think about.
#milwaukeeian
nah…. the army corps of engineers could never be responsible for a flood…. it’s in the constitution.
#SARCASM
wall street is blocking gun reform
uh…. so…. the 9/11 bombers were actually trying to help us?
thanks?
#CALSUCKS
My hood was designed by the army corp. The problems are the shitty companies doing new work.
This place was 50 plus years deep without a flood until this year.
yeah, america is shit. the shittiest are doing the teaching of the next generation.
shittier and shittier.
thanks cal. keep chasing the dollar rather than shaping our future.
all i need to know i never learned in kindergarden……..
it takes a village….
#TOSUCK
I live my life 60/40 based on your advice and cla’s advice.
The problem gambo parts are not your faults.
That’s in the blood.
I did get a green light on the $55- 40 man. So I am in like FLYNN.
Did you click on that link to my NFL JOust tourny? Looks sweet, huh?
if eroz can convince cal to bus at a pie shop, i should be able to convince him to teach K-5.
That busboy shit factory speech was great.
Cla’s woman stepped out on him with some dude named Landon. Cla fled via badger bus from CHI to MAD and lived on our (me and ewhazz) couch for a bit.
ERos took really good care of him.
The $55 is done. The $10 is that last seat… shitballs.
i like 5 $10s rather than 1 $55 anyways….
here’s a fun story from an old twinkie pitcher
he has a christian radio talk show where he said this (presumably about the afterlife):
then, he left the studio, and got spread all over the 210.
#FLOOD
i’m actively trying to flood my backybacky while you jerks are having the city do it for you… FOR FREE)*(&%^#&)(!^#)&(*!^#)*(%#!)*(!^
the president just interrupted the womens volleyball that was going on to declare motorcycle accidents will not be tolerated. then stated the laws to prevent them will be hard. then walked away. then nothing got done. and i have no fucking clue who spiked over who or what the god damned score is.
#THANKSOBAMA
i’m using ricky corps of engineering logic… just threw a tarp down and started spraying water on it. all kinds of issues with channels forming and draining all the water before it freezes.
i need to activate the beaver portion of my brain. right now it’s consumed by vaginal imagery thanks to a short-circuit… also thanks to short-circuit the movie. almost no beaver logic left.
#PROBLEMS
blow some shit up, obama. you pussy.
how are you going to convince a would be suicidal mass-assassin youth to not do something, when you can’t even convince me to not call you a pussy, pussy?
public burning at the stake or hanging or burning at the hanging are all ready for a comeback….
#IVEBEENHEREFORYEARS
the media can not be trusted to not lie to us, so freedom of speech should be stripped.
#THANKSCAL
#BANTHEINTERNET
those smartypants over in minnesnowta are already banning anything that might cause problems even if there is no way to prove that they don’t…. modern religion, i guess….
playing dungeons and dragons will make you kill people. that is a fact. no more dice in MN. no more D&D books……… how about just no more books, just to be safe. no more written language… people might read about how to make a bomb.
you’re all fucking idiots and i hate you.
#DEALT
FUCK YEAH!!
you american pussies are pissing me the fuck off.
just fight already. fuck peace. fuck cal. #FUCKEVERYTHING
i can do this all day….
from the article, the California State Teachers’ Retirement System (CalSTRS), funded by cal’s precious tax dollars, invested their money in Cerberus private equity firm, who in turn invested the money in Freedom Group which is the holding company for bushmaster arms.
so, yeah…. fuck you, cal.
#YOURFAULT
so, after the assault weapons ban, when mexican smugglers are finished with their cocaine runs for the day, we’ll have swarms of armed invasions into the country that demonstrably can’t be stopped, and now, instead of just having some white power to throw back, the invaders will have an unlimited supply of machine guns.
#GENIOUS
for cal… because he obviously forgot about the last time i pointed this out, and the technology is only getting better and better
making a gun is TRIVIAL. making a bullet is TRIVIAL. cal is SUCK.
whoa. a maddplosion.
*maddsplosion
whazzmaster.com: a maddsplosion
He’s crying cum tears again.
He needs to put a rubber on his nose.
Foo ball finals pits Veeeeoli vs BOP.
A classic confrontation.
Showtime RULED the regular season. He won the first place money, the highest scoring team money, a shitload of weekly high score bonuses and the first round bye.
But his QB broke his dick and he scored his lowest weekly score in the semi finals.
BOP stomped the holy hell out of me.
So it’s the #5 seed playing the #6 seed for $500.
Cla, remember when your WR plaxico shot himself in the leg and you QUIT fantasy foo ball? You really do hate guns.
Lawman and pods, I need to hear some of your bukkak picks for the week.
What day should we do the show? Thursday night?
Our first one was good but rushed. We need to really get in there and bukakkeeeeeee.
it almost worked…. the 5th card was the magic… needed to get rottenwall in play, but my grabass problem bubbled and fucked me. JFIN would have cashed me solid. i think you even tried to stop me….
#PROBLEMINBLOOD
whoa BOP or veeeoli? is there any question? BEEEEE OOOOOOOHHHHH PEEEEEE all day and day. I’m glad Bops got some revenge on you for baseball. and that showtime had a strong showing. This made my holidays brighter.
How dare you.
You will soon be named.
My one more card was to mate peapods and lawman’s teams. That one was CRAZY good.
This week’s tourny is all about joust making cash. They need to fund some of that SJ payout.
The only tourny over $10 that is posted is the $10 SJ qualifier. Everyone and his dog is going to register. I bet the total is 250 plus, the biggest field yet.
I’m not sure what my move will be. Maybe one?
#inmyblood
CALifornia is now deciding school board elections by rolling dice
#SOUNDSABOUTRIGHT
YOU THINK THE UKRAINE IS WEAK?!#^()&!#^)(&*!#^)(&*!^#
#WARLIGHT
I watched the latest batman today. It gave me a girl boner.
#rigid
Commit, bro.
you did it cal! you WIN! congratulations. we’re all nazis now. it’s a real accomplishment. you’re the best.
i have the first batman on DVD and the 2nd on blu-ray… now it’s cheaper to buy the 3 pay blu-ray for the 3rd than just buying the 3rd individually.
it’s coming in the mail tomorrow. if anyone wants my other disks, holler. cal has first dibs.
#THANKSOBAMA
3 pack… ug. FREUD()&*^#!@&*()!#^*()!#^()*^!*()!^ wait… frued??? YOU RUINED MY RAAAAAAAAG(*&!#T^(&*!#^(&*^!#*(&^!#&*(!#^*&(#%&*(E*&(D*(&^E^&*(E^&*(E&^EEEEEEE
cal, have you considered cage fighting as a career?
move the french princess to raycilla, and lets destroy the hamburg game. 3 way action with J-DILLS. we save lawyering fees. you save any chance at a future.
i am so fucking mean.
love,
scientist
#IWASRIGHTTHEFIRSTTIME(*!#%)*(&!#%^()*^!@*()^@$&(*)@^$*&(!%#&*!%#$^&*(^$@*(&^$!&*(!%#&*(^$@&*($
jen h, have you considered a whazz run-in, complete with backhanded amazement that there was anything for you to see where you were looking for something to look at?
i need an ewhazz update like WHOA.
#CMBPLATINUMPLUS
jen h, i do not require an update. i’m well aware of your continuing status: #SHINY
i whazz all night
start nine fights
stunt nine plights
while i bite fine dykes
#RHYME
my rhyme skills are untouchable
my nuts taste like butterball
12 pound junk for your 12 pound lunch
fuck every pussy hole
muck seein shitty hole
CARDS in the mail
like the holidays pity cal
#SAYTHATTHEYDONT
#TRUCE
nude post!
n00d post will likely be quickly interrupted by new baby news…
fun fact: the chief minister of india is named dikshit
#DIKSHIT
oh cal… i’m so sorry… but your support of nazi policy did this to yourself.
hopefully the gas will stay out of the shower heads until you get shanked, or die from prison AIDS, pretty-boy.
#DEBT
My new thing is making teams buttfuck and poop out babies. This one is timmer and kcar’s bastard:
QB Cam Newton Car v. Oak Sun 1:00pm ET $253,000
RB Jonathan Dwyer Pit v. Cin Sun 1:00pm ET $92,000
RB DuJuan Harris GB v. Ten Sun 1:00pm ET $58,000
WR Dez Bryant Dal v. NO Sun 1:00pm ET $147,000
WR Michael Crabtree SF @ Sea Sun 8:20pm ET $130,000
WR Vincent Jackson TB v. StL Sun 1:00pm ET $128,000
TE Vernon Davis SF @ Sea Sun 8:20pm ET $71,000
K Nick Folk NYJ v. SD Sun 1:00pm ET $53,000
DEF Baltimore Ravens Bal v. NYG Sun 4:25pm ET $67,000
I need to check with them to see if I left or added the wrong gene.
N000000000000D POST*(&@()*&^!)(&*!^#
name it: “the post destined to be interrupted by n00d baby n00s”
subtitle: “cal sucks”
cal aint shit! he aint!
Lawman wants to be on bukkake live! tonight. K car too.
What time should we go live?
whenever…. one of you fools start it, and set the “Hangouts On Air!” checkbox on…. then the hangout is recorded and automatically posted to youtube.
after you win, you can submit the video to production companies for their consideration.
Remember when you almost bought that lemon of a house from the Olympian?
http://www.jsonline.com/sports/etc/report-olympian-hamilton-worked-for-escort-service-nj83v7j-184293031.html
Sorry. Better story here.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/suzy-favor-hamilton-136952
#peapodsisathreadkiller #banpeapods
I wonder what her housewarming present to the Moneypennys would have been.
i wonder how long it would have taken to clean up
that slut story is going national
#FAMEBYPROXY
ride that pony
Nice. What’s Al gonna think about this?
Olympic poon aint cheap, bro.
She can escort it up. I do not care. But for shady real estate dealings, she should be shot.
She is a way crazy bitch. That summer JS article about her post olympic life detailed a very fragile mind.
What’s cla’s take on this?
Peapods broke the story.
K car says “45 bucks, tops.”
I dont know what he’s getting for $45. Over the pants handy?
Good news: we flooded but the neighbors on each side of us lost power and we did not.
BAd news: Pi has influenza a, a vacine resistant strain that is related to the swine flu.
We are quarantined until DEC 25.
What cant ya do. at the canfield?
I’m still sad that I didnt get to hear that juggalo get railed.
I don’t need youtube to watch my show. Just zach.
AND HE WILL ENJOY IT
There might be some mardi gras action.
#maybe
HUge trees are falling in our hood.
yeah, i worry about that too… the pines all around my house are getting huge.
fuck around and fuck my house up…
the weather channel is now serving as an official source for naming blizzards?
most insurance policies have a clause for “named storms” which is supposed to cover them in the case of a tropical storm wiping out an entire town… basically it makes your deductible much higher, often unaffordable…
#THANKSLAWYERSFUCKOFF
check your policy, bro.
#URFUKT
CRANK UP THE YOGURT MACHINE
WE’RE BACK IN BUSINESS BABY*()&!#^)(&!^#&)(*!#^
LOOK AT ME SO I CAN FINISH*&!)(%&#)&(!#^
sometimes when i shit… i cum
Rafi was the best thing in a disappointing season.
that was extremely unpleasant. i sequester you away from whazzmaster as well.
explain this, cal
we got a shitton of christmas cards today, but the only one the HWK cares about is the wwwwwwhazzzzz’z. she’s running around with it, yelling “REILUH”
i got the goddamned swineflu.
#THANKSCAL
S1N3, bro. Hobo flu.
Nice law word. If only it had some legal TEETH behind it.
So profanity offends you… don’t I have naming rights for your beloved, failed fantasy baseball team 2013? Hmmmmm….
You can have 10 profanities that are out of bounds. Please post them, list-style.
pokajill 1 64.08
Pal 2 52.93 $250
Madddddd, where you at???
We are still #1 and #2… do you want to team up?
I fell off… you ARE IN 1st!!!!
Where are you??!??!!?
i want to drive my car over all of you fucking idiots
#calsucks
rise up, pussies
cal’s precious st. palsy wastes tax dollars in the face of a fiscal cliff, seemingly to encourage kids to smoke real cigarettes.
fuck all of you.
UGGGGGG… have the baby already. N00D POST. 15-25″… 5-15#… is he white??
my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight…. my rhymes is aight….
daily joke sweat was brutal… sweated with some gambling fam… explained rottenwall… it came down that, and we concluded, rot is going to have to make a desperation move… shit was set up perfect… a rottenwall hail mary TD followed by a G-men strong showing puts me in first.
everything fell into place, ball is in the wall’s hands, and instead of 50 passing yards, a passing TD, 50 receiving yards, a receiving TD… that fuckhead wall gives up the INT for -2… then G-men put up -4. fucking F-men. you suck. F.
go packers.
Hey, gang. My iphone cannot get this deep in the dungeon and I have not had much time to fart around on the reg computer. Beep, boop, boop.
How the heck is cla? Did santa bring you new sweat socks? What about the old man? A new pipe?
We are home but back to h town later today. We will come back to Maddddddiosn on Sunday night or Monday am. Holler if you have a kid or want to run a daddy daycare at my place. Belly is off until Jan #2.
Oh, Phil won football. He offered BOP a 50/50 chop but BOP declined. Ooooops.
I was pretty close to the bubble in the NFL joust. A pure packer team woulda scored $1200. I had one loaded but then decided that I was too smart for such a simple strategy and subbed in other dudes. It was still 40% packers but that was not enough. Boo.
Oneil scored a 7th in a $1 tourney. That was an impressive feat.
I dumped another twank in the darkness and made two $10 teams in the 55-man tourney. Jess took some pals out to dinner at tornado, so I figured my vice/entertainment for the night was far less expensive: baby on lap, leftovers, two joust teams.
Speaking of joust, do you fools like the video game joust? I loved it.
In dong news, we watched Magic Mike last night.
It was pretty good. The dong to titty ratio is about 6 tits to 1 dinger, which I found odd. The bare butt ratio was about even.
Maddddd’s run in the sj was impressive. I thought you had it.
i worked into the peeweeherman hours, and fell asleep while the season 1 TPB DVD spun in the trubbbbbbbbbroom.
#JTOTHEROC