Whoa

285 thoughts on Whoa

1. I’m gonna have to go back and read up on the happenings in the last thread.

2. TURD.

   PRESS.

   roll your own. bring back the old whazzmaster. haikus and fun. none of this weak ass TURD POOP SHIT.

   now i post and it doesn’t show the comment until i refresh… and the homepage also doesn’t show any changes unless you refresh. so junky. i’m going back to the 500 comment thread… i like it there. my thumbs already hurt anyways.

   #FUCKTHUMBS

3. Sorry bro.

4. #OLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTEROLDWHAZZMASTER

5. I like the snow dungeon.

6. I ain’t got time to bleed, or build a blog. #outtathafuckinbox

7. Whizz, whazz, was.

8. you already built the blog… IT HAD HAIKUS…. I SAW IT*&!#^)!*#&%)(*&!#%*(&!#%

   GD 20 hour flight or some shit almost makes me rather stay here…..

   UGUGUGUGUGUGGGGGUGUGUGG

   i just want this snowfield to go away so cal will be sad again

9. i want to see AJ. whats the DILLS. how can this happen?

10. hey QUEERS. i’m drunk in european mexico. it sucks here. don’t come. don’t come. that’s what she said. SHE’S PREGNANT)(&#%)(&!#%)&(!#%^*(_#_!^*(

    cal sucks.

11. Euromexicô

12. god damn mother fucking newark. i’m fucking stranded here. i hate it. there is no culture. there is only suck.

    fuck everything.

13. Fish outta watta comedy coming up.

14. I would roll my own vacation and hop a puddle jumper to Amstergoddamn.

    America has a culture because we have cla.

15. So what’s up when some weirdo from Australia adds me to g plus? Can I tell him to die? Is he stealing my noodles?

16. only people in the noodle community can see your noodles. for everything else, you define who you share shit with… if weirdo isn’t in your circles, weirdo won’t see. i’m not sure if you’ll see weirdo stuff in your “All” area… probably not.

    they set me up in a pretty baller hotel with unlimited free food… i just had a bottle of wine and i’m going to swim.

    BACK IN THE WATER.

17. Water birth it, bro

18. That’s code for poop in the pool

    USAUSAUSAUSAUSAUSASAUSAGEUSAUSAUSAUSA

19. That weirdo added me and Pods too.

20. i think the email has a “block” link…

    weird that he added both of you… are you sure you don’t know him? he must know someone else that you both know and just went through the “you might also know these fools” list and added everyone like a weirdo.

    my swim is done. i’m out of water again. restaurants don’t even open until 8:30pm here, because this is a country of weirdos.

    CAL*()&#%)&(!#^)(&*!^#()*!^

21. the waiter at the hotel alfa aeropuerto is a trew professional… it’s not that bad here.

    i am conflicted by the service industry because i feel like i’m the one serving them by giving them someone to serve… chickens and eggs, NWORDUH.

    another bottle+ wine in the gut. it’s 10pm… i have to get up at 2:30am. i’ll probably never make it home. make sure my kids are ok.

22. BLergh. Sick.

23. In chicaho. Sick of aeropeurtos. Cancer sick. At least my phone works again. #4G

24. Bro, hop the badger bus to madddddison.

25. Stop by for a berrrrrrr

26. i was thinking about renting a car, but i would have ended up home like an hour earlier, and i had checked bags, and i think they don’t put them on the plane if you’re not on the plane, so i’d have to deal with that, so i just sat at a bar and got drunk for 6 hours. i’m home now. i had no desire to go to europe before, now i have a healthy desire to not go. it’s stupid and getting worse. their union is collapsing way worse than USAUSAGE.

    germany is the worst. those nazis want 4 euros for a bottle of water. that’s almost $6. every other country like 1.20 euros. the workers all demand insane wages, and the employment laws all have them leaving at 5pm and you aren’t allowed to contact them… and you can’t fire them unless they gas more than 100 jews in a single week. or maybe it’s less…. i don’t remember, but the rules are fucked. so the company i was contracted for is basically ramping up a giant spain office and trying to get fools in munich to move.

    #EUROPEISDUM

27. Madd ran into the pope in europe and he gave up.

    hey did some dood named Tim add you? you can go to his profile and block him. look under his creepy photo. #minus1

28. i did go to the sagrada familia cathedral and touched the same spot that the pope touched when he blessed it…. i did give a little “fuck off” energy as i touched it. i am all powerful. st. peter died because of the possibility of my existence. all will fall. i am HOV.

    say it.

    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA

29. I did like the bits and pieces of dead saints stashed in the dusty old cathedrals. Baller move tapping the pope.

    Tim is old news, cla. Way old. We all blocked him ages ago.

30. Truth be told, I’m thinking about taking him back at this point. THe roto league could use another warm benny fold.

31. 80 moves. you suck.

32. why make it LESS than 100? why have a move limit at all? this may not be the right forum but… five blades.

33. Why do you want to be in a league where I can outwork you? I am the hardest fantasy baller in the game, bro. How many times do I need to prove that to you?

    Less moves means you need to be crafty and work with the team you draft. Your decisions mean more with less moves. It is more SKILL based with less moves. Do you want to reward SKILL or WORK?

    I’ve already bested you in WORK leagues. The main league is a work league. I out work you:

    1st, 1st, 2nd, 1st

    That aint the davinchi code, bro. And your 1st was a byproduct of my WORK. I’m the cheese curd, you are the whey. My weekly column critiqued you to the point of improvement.

    My dream league is one that uses FAAB. Me and greg have been talking about it on gmail but figure you dummies are too dumb and will cry if we ever try it. We also want to try an auction draft sometime.

    Eat my poop with a spoon.

34. he’s trying to break you…

35. He wants to drag me into the deep water of two WORK leagues… perhaps.

    He did ask me to change the draft date to THE DAY MY KID IS DUE.

    I mean, he’s really busy with all his whittling and noodling. I had to accommodate.

    #iamdum

36. He also has the West Coast advantage. Fantasy players (esp easties) hate the westies.

    He gets the last pitch of the last game and all the news by 10:00 pm. Huge advantage. That’s 1 in the am for the poor easties, Nothing worse than finding your closer stubbed his cock whilst you slept. Cal gets to be lazy and just scoop them up without staying up all night.

37. My league is a nice balance of work and skill. It’s a real roll your own situation. I have to create the kind of league I want.

    I mean, winning money is fun, but I want more than to just win. I want a fun 6 months of fantasy ball.

    I used to be a democracy and ask for votes on changes. Now I just make them. Rolling, rolling, rolling.

38. You and oneil can play in it if you want.

39. I unblocked tim and he’s invited. I like his pretty head.

40. dude tim is going to ask you for money. soon. send him some!

41. I wonder if tim found a way to hack into noodle headquarters and want’s in on our little gang.

42. I think he wants in on your butt

43. i’m saving my money this year. babies rape the benny clip.

44. why can’t we just play poker? i think i had a dream about doing very bad things to mr frist last night… i was trying to kill him, but then found out that harrahs had already killed him to get their $20M back… but i wasn’t convinced… i think i went after his family after that… not really sure.

45. I had a dream that I had to marry a 60 some year old dude. Sexy time was a gray area. He was a multimillionaire. That was a pro.

46. sounds like you were a pro.

    #stitute

47. SWEARNET IS LIVE

48. in fantasy whazz, i would drop cal for tim, even if i had to burn my entire FAAB.

49. Bold moves win leagues.

50. my first instinct is that is wrong… this is why fantasy scares me.

51. getting lucky as fuck on a cheap play is great, but relying on it is a surefire way of guaranteed loss….

    so sayeth the inexperienced…

52. All in on FAAB this early in the season is like going all in 3rd hand of a tournament. Even if you triple up, there is no real guarantee of cashing.

    With that said, luck does play a role though after the following attributes.

    #1 is HARD WORK. The stupid season is six months long with multiple games starting in three different time zones every goddamn day except for a 3 day beak around the all star break. Most of it is setting lineups (esp pitching), monitoring all the pussies who get hurt, and watching the stupid sky for rain. I’d say that 25% of all teams have no chance (and this is in free leagues up to $100 leagues) because they are not responsible enough. And shit: kids, vacations to the woods, and life all conspire to get in the way of this.

    #2 is PATIENCE. Puke or panic, bro. You got to swallow a lot of puke and stay off the trigger. Baseball season is looooong and you need to suffer through the shit spells. Sometimes players go 0 for 35 or hit .087 with nothing for a month straight. So many managers drop, trade… panic when they need to chill. Another 10% of most leagues fail because they lack patience. Combined with the lazy boners, I’d say about 35% of most managers have little to no chance. I play 12 team leagues and most of the time about 4-5 teams are dead money. That trims the field to about 7 teams with a legit shot. To get the money over this 7 team field I need to be…

    #3 is be BOLD. You need to ignore the rankings and the experts and average draft position and rankings and sometimes make a bold move and stick with it. In Football, the top draft picks are set in stone. Drifting maybe 6 spots off the average draft position of a player or trading anything but a close to even deal will tank your season. In baseball, I’ll pick a dude 30 spots early if I really want him or trade a 2nd round pick for a 4th. That is death in football, but I do it all the time in baseball if I think I see an edge.

    #4 Be SMART. Understand which players are streaky. Watch the news. Do your research. Of the final 7, at least 2 or 3 will not be BOLD or SMRT enough to win unless they get really LUCKY.

    #5 is get LUCKY. All sport betting has a huge amount of luck involved. Who wins between the final 4 or 5 managers? He who gets the luckiest. Cal won his championship because, yes, he had a good team, but he was loaded with Red Sox and they had two double headers the final week of the season. His star players had double the at bats and they scored something like 24 runs in one day over the course of two games. That was a first round KO. But it was LUCKY. Last year I used insane luck to even make the finals and then again in the finals. My team was no better than the 2nd, 3rd or 4th place team yet I was the champ.

    At the highest levels it’s hard to get anywhere in this game bc everyone is the same. But most of the time it’s the olden days of 1-2 limit poker with $18 average pots.

53. too many variables… and then throw in even the possibility of JOW RIGGED JOKE, and all my models blow up.

    ain’t nobody got time fer dat.

54. travel fun fact: on the flight from frankfurt to chicago… i was 99% sure lucroy was on my flight… and i was in brewer hoodie and he seemed to smile which is why i even looked. it sorta made sense because chicago is close to milwaukee and he plays for milwaukee… but i was also 99% sure it couldn’t be him, so he walked by a couple more times on the 1000 hour flights, and it was a battle in my head… but that didn’t matter, because as extremely rare as such a situation is, I WAS HAVING THE EXACT SAME SITUATION WITH SOMEONE ELSE… goddamn louis CK is on the same flight. but this time, i’m pretty sure i saw him tweet the day before about a US tour, so it’s more like 99.9999% sure it’s not him… but it’s an exact clone. i was mesmerized…. but at the same time, goddamn fake lucroy is walking around and i don’t know who to not care about more…..

55. #GANGSTER

56. hmmm… braun and lucroy are both scheduled to represent USA in the europe tourney which has rosters that finalize next wednesday… down to only like 85% sure it wasn’t him now.

57. A judge set a $100 bond Wednesday and ordered Blade to avoid swords and alcohol.

58. Yeah what he said. I ruined myself last year playing five teams. I fear I will never be champ again #ninetyninepercentmental

59. I was on a flight with Phillip Phillips recently know who he is? Neither did I homie. I felt bad for the dude since EVERY moron in the airport had to get a pic and say “I voted for you” I figured the american idol shit from the voting cracks and wondered how many times the dude has heard that. Anyway it blows to type on this piece of crap iPad so peace. Ps it capitalized I pad not me. #phillipphillipsphillips

60. Phillipsasagephillips

61. my first flight ever, i sat next to the guy who won the US Open in golf. i was in 8th grade on the washington DC trip, and had to fly out to florida to meet my family at disney world. nobody on the plane acknowledged the guy at all… we get off the plane and there are tons and tons of cameras at the terminal (back when america wasn’t run on chinese manufactured fear and propaganda)… he was a broke amateur sitting back in coach in the middle seat next to a baller 8th grader flying on his own in the window seat. should have booked that ticket early, homie.

62. fuck the police

    #FUCKTHEMHARD

63. alleged lucroy was travelling alone, but that makes sense because MLB got his wife on the no fly list.

    #TERRORIST

64. fuck the new york times

    #JOWYORKTIMES

65. #notconvniced

66. “I don’t think the rebuttal was as robust as it could have been,” said Sexton. “There’s no question that there are discrepancies that need to be explained by Broder. Why did he not charge fully? Maybe the guy was stupid. But there was the 65-mile-range loss overnight. Elon didn’t address that. It took Tesla three days to produce the logs. Do they prove that Broder set out from the beginning to torch Tesla? No. The longer Elon keeps fighting, the more hollow the victory.”

67. does a smoking gun in the hand of someone next to a dead body full of bleeding bullet holes prove that they are murderer? no. the longer cal tries to pretend he understands law the more hollow his black toes get.

    #ZING

68. full disclosure: i have to deal with people constantly that report issues, and then fail to report they made a side trip to manhattan, transfered their cookies to a new browser on a different machine, changed IP addresses and then report things are broken and never tell THE TRUTH.

    #NEWYORKTIMESLIARS

69. saying “i did this, and ONLY this”…. then someone else pointing out “uh… we can prove you also did this something else which directly relates to what you’re complaining about”… then the original someone saying “true, but i don’t see why that matters” is the act SOLELY of A LIAR.

    want lies? buy the times.

    #SUKIT

70. Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza Heart shaped pizza

71. lawman is still a maybe in the roto

    roto ride or die

72. i see a market for a tool that automates much of the WORK… cal… draw up the papers, find an investor.

    i require wwhazz as a consultant.

    you can have 1% share for taking on all legal liabilities.

    i’ll make a tool that plugs into any fantasy league through the major vendors (CBSsports, ESPN, YAHOOTOOMANYCLICKS, etc…) maybe it just does auto drops on guys on the DL… maybe it can suggest moves… maybe it figures out if you didn’t have time to login and does some automoves for you, but only then…

    tell me your dreams. i can make them real.

73. god bless you sir. this comes at an auspicious time, as I’m *considering* getting out of the unpaid law game. I know I know: but why???? why would you leave this perfect ideal unpaid menomonie career? friends, i know you think of me as a genius entrapenural unpaid volunteer mastermind, but the truth is I have suffered and toiled and volunterred for far too long. it’s true i’m probably the greatest intern of all time… yet it’s time for me to move on.

    so what’s my next move? fantasy baseball code. THE COMPUTER PLAYS FOR YOU. we will bringthe fantasy baseball world to it’s knees and in the process earn a fortune.

    or i’m considering flipping houses. thoughts?

    or teaching. so whazzmaster, what do i do with my life? #takingsuggestions

74. get off greg’s nutz

75. #notthesuggestioniwaslookingfor

76. #yesitwas

77. No doi

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/09/24/the-perils-of-law-school.html

78. Anti-Semitic rigged joke

    http://wheels.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/14/that-tesla-data-what-it-says-and-what-it-doesnt/#more-180855

79. What a moron that tesla brainiac is. Yeah dude, the reporter wants to take down your crappy company. Way to publicize the flaws of your your shitball car. #sodumb

80. MACHINES)*&!%)(&!#^)(&!^#

    if a machine can do your job, you never had a job.

81. the “flaws” are not enough government supported and mandated infrastructure… it’s almost like politicians at the top have an interest in concrete roads and OIL.

    #OILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOILOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLSAUSAGES

82. do you know what a 2 mile trip through manhattan (to buy narcotics???) doesn’t consist of? lots and lots of stop and starting and low torque energy expenditure… the roads are wide open… you can just roll right to your friend’s (drug dealer’s?) doorstop, and get back on your way. you don’t have to stop at all. it’s the most efficient city in the world for driving, and lying about driving there shouldn’t paint the liar as a liar because of PHYSICS.

    #CALSUKS

83. i really like your use of the word “flipping” in your potential career moves…..

    i was expecting “hamburgers” next, but houses are good too…. i’m waiting on my uncle to get sick of the Q, and i could sweep back in and run that bitch with cal.

    get the princess to move to raycilla…. lots of freshwater. cryptosporidium free for more than a few years now!!

84. CNN redid the trip, blasted the heat and cruise control, and had loads of energy reserves to spare

    i’m not sure if they stopped at their drug dealer in manhattan or not… or if their drug dealer has interests in the oil markets and offered any bribes, or didn’t offer bribes, or if the times is a shitty rag run by anti-semitic slurs.

85. CAL IS DUM

    #BELIEVETHAT

86. tesla can go take his invented alternating current brushless motors electrical generators and FUCK HIMSELF.

    DO YOU KNOW WHAT CAL HAS DONE?)(*&#!

    #AMASSEDDEBT

87. BAN SHOVELS

88. in other news… here’s a thing:

    http://i.imgur.com/yjiefcs.gif

89. That really is a thing. It’s quite something.

    Cal, do you really want to leave the legal world? Sometimes I think I’d like to. I bought a sewing machine from Overstock and I’m going to make my fortune on Etsy. If you do flip houses, and those houses involve wallpaper, I’d love to come help. I’d really like to try my hand at wallpaper, but I want to start on someone else’s house first. HGTV is filled with wallpapered houses so I think it’s ok for flipping.

90. before i bought my house i was a HGTV fiend… my thoughts on the market is that wallpaper is not a profitable investment for flipping. everyone loves wallpaper that they choose and have installed by someone with experience, but old, used wallpaper devalues the house because of the giant chore of taking it down.

    i just had one wall papered in my childhood room, and i took it down when i was like 15, and that was a many day project of steamers and soap sponges and sanding.

    so you 2 should team up, but offer any potential buyers with the option to paper after the fact.

91. Maddddd, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (I know that, too, but I need somewhere to practice my wallpapering).

92. FYI, i’m watching bronson pinchot project on DIY right now, and just got off the phone with my brother talking about rewiring my basement…

    uh oh. i just realized i might have the home improvement itch.

    cal, if you want to try your hands framing out a basement, YOU’RE HIRED.

93. pods, you can do one of my basement rooms if cal would ever get off his ass AND/OR greg’s nutz.

94. Awesome! Sold! Cal, get over there & frame away so I get wallpapering. Best news ever!

95. AO can be Cal’s framing intern. He said he wants to learn. The hunter becomes the hunted.

96. fuck yeah! everyone come down to the trubbbroom… i’ll fill it full of 2x4s and nails and food and intoxicants. stay as long as you want.

    #MEASURETWICECUTONCE

97. done and done. I will consider taking on AO as well. #newday

98. air rifle history

    BANBANBAN

99. i’ll show you all my straps when you show up for work…. you’ll then understand i’m not to be fucked with, and WE CAN ENJOY PEACE.

    #NORTHKOREANNUKES

100. balls

101. I need some gambo sherif: last year I traded Brian my 5th and 8th round pick for his 3rd immediately after the draft. Cla says I exploited brian and this is the only reason I won the league.

     I say it was a fair trade. In fact, I am offering cal my 2013 3rd round pick for his 5th and 8th… And he won’t do it.

     So how can it be a ripoff if I am offering the flip side of what I received last year? Do I want to rip myself off and give cla this magiCAL advantage?

102. I’ll allow cla to share his side if the story before the gambo verdict is read.

103. you are the modern day frenchy. brian needs to stop trading with you entriely and join forces with ME. we will build our teams TOGETHER overcome your tyranny over the league.

     he is the outlawz to your bop.

104. he is your farm system.

105. the worst thing is he had you beat in the poffs but alas, joe mauer ruined everything.

     anyway my only beef is that the league needs to recognize your deatlhy cold vice grip and tread softly when interacting with you. #lordvader

106. remember when i tried to trick the BOP into admitting he WAS outlawz? haahahahahaahha i hope he is outlawz he’s paying double for no reason every year.

107. You cite a trade that I made with Brian (my 5th and 8th picks for his 3rd) as a ripoff trade.

     Ok, then I invite you to rip me off. You can have my 3rd for your 5th and 8th.

     Do we have a deal?

108. I am offering you the EXACT trade that you claim is unfair.

109. maybe you made really shitty picks in the 5th and 8th round, but they were shitty picks that you knew brian would way over-value, so you could sweep in for his 3rd round pick… also, if he made that deal before the fact, you could just take some SCHMOE in the 3rd round… cal would obviously know that happened and then take his own SCHMOEs in the 5th and 8th… but you still have 2 SCHMOEs and he only has 1.

     #CANTLOSE

     if this deal with brian happened before the fact, and he drafted good in the 3rd round, and then you still double SCHMOEd him, that’s dancing on the line… but a GOOD dance.

110. goddamn it… how did you trick me into breaking whazzzzzz rule #1?%!)&!#^)(&!

     cal, take his bet and then double schmoe him… he’s going to schmoe you, and k-keeeezy is going to scoop up the good 3rd round meat… or whoever else is in there. if that deal is locked, it’s better for the league assuming he really does care about defeating the BEAST.

     tuck in your gurldik cal….. take the deal.

111. and if you’re just trading picks before the fact, going heavy on 3rd round is BOLD.

     cal, is your goal to win?

112. I picked Brett Lawrie in the 5th round. I liked him so much I also selected him in the 4th round in our roto league. I was doubled down I dude. I liked him a lot.

     In the 8th I took Dick Weeks. I have a long history of betting on weeks, drafting weeks, and loving weeks.

     So I liked both of my picks.

     Brian also liked my picks. In fact, he is the one who initiated the trade.

     So no trickery was involved. Later in the season, Weeks and Lawrie both sucked. There was no way to predict this. We made this trade a full week before the reglar season. In fact, we made the trade moments after the draft.

     Hindsight is a whore with no work ethic. So is cal.

113. So my offer stands: my 3rd for cla’s 5th and 8th.

     The trade happens pre draft. I select cla’s 5th and 8th and he selects my 3rd, whichever dude he wants.

     Why won’t he take the deal?

114. Jesus, cla. Two years ago I traded Greg Ian Kinsler for Weeks.

     What the heck kind of trade was that? You cannot say that I do not like Weeks.

115. Another time I traded Greg Braun (a top 3 fantasy value) for Roy Halladay (a top 15 fantasy value) straight up.

     How am I ripping people off? No one trades with you because you make shitty deals. I make good offers and I make trades.

     Good biz recognizes good biz.

116. Final question for cal: you rejected my trade offer of 3rd for 5 and 8: WHY

117. as the accuser has decided to not provide a timely argument, i find for the accused, and charge the absent accuser with defamation and slander.

118. i was on dickies nutz hard…. even though i truly believe him to be great, problem brewer fan in blood was certainly in play.

119. Thank you. Ug, cal, worst.

120. Good news about problem brewer and fantasy is even idiots like go go gomez can be money because the Brewers are always in the top 5 runs scored and HR.

121. More like top top. Like uno.

122. i think i heard pitchers were already reporting… is that true? my backy is full of snow and frozen tarps… i can’t get any RIPPIN’ in for months.

     i heard CC the teenage witch dropped 25 pounds….. HIS SANDWICH

123. sort of funny story out of eau cleeeeezy…. some lady with like 1000 alpacas had her barn burn down last night… damage estimated at $250,000 with lots of animals dead. the cause of the fire is still under investigation. it’s been a sad week for the family…. as her husband lost his hand last week………… in a fireworks accident.

     THE CAUSE OF THE FIRE IS STILL UNDER INVESTIGATION.

     #ohboy

124. oh yeah… my husband blew off his hand last week in an incident that involved an out of control combustion reaction….. IT IS JUST A COINCIDENCE.

     #SOMANYALPACAS

125. Fun family.

126. jerry buss is dead. i’m not saying bill frist didn’t do it.

127. Jerry Cab is also way dead.

128. Scientist, I’ll do this with you next year:

     http://www.pythonchallenge.org/

129. 1. Bakersfield, Calif.
     > Weekday newspaper circulation per 100: 11.19 (64th highest)
     > Pct. adults with college degree: 20.1% (9th lowest)
     > Retail bookstores per 10,000: 0.54 (4th least)
     > Median income: $51,667 (14th highest)
     Bakersfield, Calif. was ranked the least literate among American cities with a population of more than 250,000. The city ranked among the bottom 10 cities in all six categories measured. It was third from the bottom for booksellers and third from the bottom for periodicals like newspapers and journals. The literacy ranking may be a reflection of the professional positions of the city’s residents. Only 8.2% of the population worked in professional, scientific and management positions in 2011, the fifth-lowest percentage of all cities. Nearly 10% of the city worked in agriculture, forestry, hunting and mining, the highest of all cities measured.

130. did they win worst city in america? they have my vote.

131. Least literate.

     But theys tops in most shitty things.

132. Milwaukee Brewers first baseman Mat Gamel has torn the anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee for the second time in less than a year and will miss the season.

133. I’ll be cuttin and pastin news all day folks.

134. it’s time to turn gamel into glue.

135. Glue boy made 480K in 2012 and 500K in 2013.

136. I think he was on a 1 year contract.

137. cal is recruiting hard to get my $100… i need a better feel for the pool before i jump in. cal is a little bobby fischer bitch about everything, and i don’t want him in my head second guessing all my moves.

138. Well, we have two pools. Both cost $100.

     1.) The Main League is a head-to-head league. Greg is the commish. It’s mostly greg and cla high school butt buddies. I don’t know if there is even an opening. I know timmer wants in this one. Me and brian and cla are the only dudes you would know. It is a fair, well-run league. It’s not brain surgery. You’d prob run a shitty draft but have your shit together after about a month or so.

     2.) The roto league is my league. In h2h you play a different team each week and then there are playoffs. In roto you just add all your stats for the entire year. I am the commish. There is for sure room here. It is also fair, well-run. Shit, I run it. Same deal, prob takes a month to get the hang of it.

     You read my previous skills needed to do well. Fantasy football might be more your speed. Baseball is either something you end up loving or hating.

139. 1) play play play! fun fun fun!

     1a) I had to praCALly beg wwhazz back in ’07 (ish) to play and now it’s his reason to be. Actually i slowly lured him in with the dinger league and when i tried to convert him he STILL had reservations… but upon graduating he learned quickly and soon the student became the master. my question is can how long can he remain king of the mountain. Madd, with your help we can tear down his rule and usher in a glorious new day.

     bottom line is you will have fun. #computerbaseball

     2) everybody still watching girls? my take:

     Season One Episode One through Penultimate episode: I am THROUGHLY impressed

     Season One Finale – dumb

     Season Two Episodes 1-2 – Dumb. Lena DUMB-NUM

     Season Two Episodes 3- Present- I take all the dumb coments back. AWESOME.

140. he talked me out of your roto league… he really hates you.

141. yes i watch girls. i agree the latest episodes were better than the episodes before them, but it still feels like duty rather than entertainment when i watch.

     such annoying characters. IMPRESSIVELY annoying.

142. greg’s league has a waiting list… CLASSY.

     so, there are 16 fools in that one? what if me and timmer both joined? would that work?

143. if it’s head to head, it seems like you could add any number of pairs… but the same number of playoff spots.

144. H2H 12 is the magic number or you have to know too much about shitbirds.

     Roto does better with a larger field. 14 is about the max though. Past that you are simply chasing at-bats instead of making choices.

     The greg league can be a bit thin skinned. Why cal thinks maddddddd is a good fit is beyond me. My league allows much more freely spewed hate.

145. We are still on the girls. I’m happy enough with it all though I really liked the apartment episode and the boys return the dog episode.

146. Timmer’s prob first in line for main league. We just need to make sure he and bop have squashed their beef.

     Timmer’s good at fantasy sports. He has the odd dedication.

147. exactly plus the coke episode was prtty damn good. i would go see those gay/twin DJs Andrew/Andrew if they really existed. and and the next door junky neighbor. good shit.

     yeah madd get in on roto. that’s all i knew for the first 5 years or so. it’s rockin.

148. *junkie I know it’s junkie, junkie.

149. roto sounds like too much work. H2H sounds fun, glad it’s only 12 as i really only know anything about brewers, former brewers and pretty much just the top 5 pitchers and top 5 hitters. i don’t consume national editorial on baseball pretty much at all other than sports center highlights. i don’t read box scores. i do watch every brewer game… INTENTLY.

     i want an auction draft roto league with ONLY current brewers where everyone only gets 3 players, and you can only play 2 on any given day.

     SIGN UP ON CAL’S DIK

150. maybe even you only get 2 players and play 1… depends on how many SUCKERS sign up.

151. TUF was good this week…. the top seed picked his fight vs the bottom seed like a little bitch… and got beat like a little bitch.

     #SPOILERALERT

152. In your defense, he was a junky junkie.

     A real money auction POINTS league with any MLB player who was EVER a Brewer is something I would play.

     3 players, play 2 is baller.

153. I thought the fight was that bubba dude vs some midget. That was a 3rd pick vs a final pick.

     But you did SPOIL it. I watch that fucker on my Wednesday baby sit days. I like my kid watching punch violence while I drink my am coffee.

154. Let’s keep talking about this brewer league.

155. yeah, i my original plan was any former brewer… but that was just because i wanted to draft molitor and surhoff… real world it’s a fight for geinke and CC… i worry about the d00ds that were a brewer on the books only or for just a day or something stupid…. but you definitely need a slightly larger pool for anything over 4 players….

     is that something yahoo can do? do i need to start coding?

156. the TUF 3rd pick was a draft play… he trained in real life with the coach that ended up drafting him, so he was a poison apple to the other coach… but after 2 SCHMOE bluffs, he had to draft him….

     #FANTASYRULEOF3

157. he had the most record experience / wins of all the fighters, and he was consensus #1 seed.

     i was very impressed with midget.

158. Our Wednesday breakfast time is Ultimate Fighter. Pi’s favorite part is joining in whenever they clap for something.

159. same with the HWK… sometimes she puts on a bad bitch face and swings her arms around. always joins in the applause.

160. Cal, your take on Girls is interesting. I was really not feeling season one at all (though that didn’t stop me from watching), but I think all three of the eps I’ve seen this season have been pretty good and mostly funny.

161. What do you think of cal’s take on law?

162. I don’t think I know what Cal’s take on law is, so any comment I make would be grounded in speculation, which my basic legal training coupled with the evidentiary hearing I did last year taught me is frowned upon. That said, I think working for free is a labor violation and I frown upon lawyers, or anyone, engaged in labor violations.

163. lack of speculation is frowned upon in whazzland.

164. i’m watching “white collar” just because kelly kapowski is in it.

165. Frowning is encouraged though.
     #highly

166. I always fall for thinking the know it all dude will win the ultimate fighter.

     In its history, Serra is the only one to actually do it.

     Bubba was a classic know it all.

167. That was a decent fight. I wonder if it’s better to be a bloated 170er fighting at 185 or a 200 lb dude who cuts to 185 for this kind of thing.

     They never know when they will fight and there are multiple fights so the big guys have to stay constantly dieting and partially dehydrated.

     The little fatsos get to eat and drink.

168. This is kinda dumb, but I always viewed cutting weight like swimming to the bottom of a deep pool and just touching the bottom for one second.

     If I fought 112, I weighed 112 for one quick finger swipe at the bottom before shooting back up to 122 or so.

169. fattymcmidget spent a lot of time going for chokes that had no chance of going anywhere…. but genious still had to spend energy… and he probably trained mainly with smart people that wouldn’t waste time going for those holds. eventually he found a choke that worked… can’t hate the results.

170. These big dudes need to hover around 185. That seems shitty.

171. bubbymcgenious i mean…. he would never go for those positions, and he seemed a little out of control.

172. maddddd, you have an invite to the all brewer league. I’ll make you co commish so you can putz with the rules. We can delete it if we want to.

173. Possible top shelf pitchers:

     Yo
     Greink
     CC

     Ok dudes:
     MarCUM
     Rogers and Fires and the rest of the crew rooks

     Top shelf batters

     Braun
     Prince
     Abuttramus

     And then there are a lot of ok dudes:
     Dickcar, Cory Fart, Gogo Gomez, Nelson Cruz,

174. so…. first pick… how high do you go on braun? deeds?

175. price is right is fun today… charles barkley is on and giving advice to contestants… there was a dice game were a d00d could walk away with $4,000, or roll 3 dice that each had 2 cars, 2 $500, 1 $1000, and 1 $1500…. charles said to take the money. nazir told charles to fuck off… having more problem gambo in blood that charles barkley is hard.

     nazir rolled the dice.

     nazir rolled 3 cars.

     charles stood silent.

176. i have the whole CWS crew on my ass today… they put their reputation in the hands of a 3rd party.

     #BADJUDGEMENT

177. would brewer league have a salary cap? it probably should.

     winner take all?

     how would points work? pitchers would have to score in the same range as hitters or the balance would be fucked. if pitchers also score hitting, there would be a big incentive to play all pitchers, but i don’t want to skew things so much that it’s dumb to play a pitcher.

     there would have to be some other ways to score on defense.

     is there a standard model?

178. #GANGSTER

179. This brewer league is a new invention. If you sign up, you can see the commish tools and help make choices.

180. pitchers are already a risk because you can’t play them every day, and it’s a points league, so that matters.

     it might suck if someone gets out to a crazy lead… incentive to play drops…

     maybe top few point getters get into playoffs, and everyone else, including last place, has a mini tourney for the remaining playoff spots. playoff playoffs.

     then you take in half of your points, and point values are doubled through the playoffs…

     it could stay points in playoffs, or switch to H2H…

     or maybe no playoffs at all, but i just worry about some ASSHOLE with 1,000 points when everyone else is around 100 with no hope.

181. a real money auction with no cap could get PRETTY FUCKING INTERESTING.

     i’m thinking $40 fixed fee to play… all auction drafting starts at $5 and goes up in $1 increments (unless someone wants to jump it)… so that includes the initial 3 player draft… so everyone is in for $55 minimum.

     #KENNYFUCKINGPOWERS

182. then during the season you can drop anyone you want, but you have to pay at least another $5 to pick up a free agent.

     trades are free?? trades have to be approved??

183. i’ll probably just roll my own for this shit… someone can just input the data needed manually… then, i can try to automate that.

     i’m thinking something like pitchers get 1 point every 5 strikeouts and 2 points for a win and -2 points for a loss

     but then every player should have some shot of making points on defense…. maybe something like if you participate in a triple play… or 1 point every 5 fly outs caught…

184. I think we need an initial celery cap.
     After that, I like the $5 add. Maybe make the manager eat celery too.
     I think you should look at the commish tools and points options before rolling own. I think it gives us what we need.
     As far as managers, it might be me vs you in this insane league.

185. i like the $5 TO START add…. everyone else would have the option to offer to drop someone on their own roster and pay at least $1 more.

     i really want to encourage an environment where an astronomical amount of money could ALMOST certainly buy the league, but there is still a chance you would lose.

     i want the rules to specifically hedge braun a bit… i like the defensive points potential… like maybe even being part of 2 double plays in 1 game is a point…

     i’ll try to sign up to yahoo soon, but i hate logging in to stupid 3rd party sites. they all suck. ALL OF THEM.

     MOSTLY THIS SHITBOX WHITE FLUFFY TURD()*&!#%)&(!%*()!%#*()!%#*()!#%**()_!#%

     WHY MUST I REFRESH ALL THE FUCKING PAGES BEFORE THE COMMENTS SHOW?!#)(%&!#^)(&#!^%()&!#%

     JUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNKJUNK

186. i was going to buy crewball.com for my ROLLYOUROWN solution, but it’s taken… they want $1395 for it.

     ugggggggg.

187. louis ck live at the beacon is on netflix now….

     #SAVED5DOLLARSONLYHADTOWAIT2YEARS

188. The way she goes, rick. The way she goes.

189. Me and lawman had a romantic rendezvous over the lunch hour to watch state wrasslin at the Kohl center. We bought scalped tickets and sat by Ben Asken, the Bellator 170 champion. He’s also a disc golf champeen.

     Pi was there too. She liked the violence.

     The bad news: I dropped her in a slush puddle outside my car. Total face wash, cut her lip and cheek. She didn’t really care though. I gave her some Ians pizza and she was happy again.

     #Baaaaaaaaadbitches

190. He’s the fro guy. Madddd, I’m sure you’ve seen him fight:

     http://www.sherdog.com/fighter/Ben-Askren-42390

191. that’s a pretty high quality top tier day…

192. It was a nice one. Still feel super bad about making my baby fall on her face, but she doesn’t seem to care. Maybe I need to stop caring too.

193. That Askren dude runs a wrestling academy for little kids. We were smack dab in the middle of his gang.

194. I even did some cws recon. Texted bry that some kid from pittsville lost 3-1.

195. This is my high school high:

     http://www.wdtimes.com/sports/article_0c8fab8c-79f1-11e2-8c0a-001a4bcf887a.html

     There is some funny imbedded in this story.

196. SPRINGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

     http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/2-arrested-exotic-bird-beheading-las-vegas-casino-article-1.1183526

197. Time to get Nekid.

198. nasty bros got a new banger in the works. stop by eau cleezy if you want to cameo.

199. AND YOU KNOW THIS

     #notice

200. #BANCHIPS

201. FurCAL

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlrA-0t34p4

     A short film version of bullet in the brain starring the Mayhem dude from t he all state commercials.

202. no way… that’s the d00d that dated carrie on sexy in the city and sold calling cards.

     #CAPICHE

203. fürCAL

     #UMLAUTOMELETTES

204. my sports addictions are getting bad. i’ve been watching the fucking NFL combine. WHY?!%&*)!#%)*(

     oooooooooooh… a 4.3 40 time… ooooooooooh….

     how about you take a sledge hammer to his knee, then make him run it again.

     also watching pretty much every preseason MLB game… WHY?@#*(&!#^)&*(!^ i find myself watching A’s games where the pitcher and catcher care so little they are cracking jokes and smiling at the plate. fuck that. THROW IT AT HIS HEAD)*(&!#%)(!*#%!#%^)(*

     if i get in the fantasy game there is a legit possibility that it will kill me. i need to quit.

     i’m trying to get hooked on hackernews like whazzman instead.

     #VICE4VICE

205. i meant pitcher and HITTER are cracking jokes…. OPPOSING TEAMS.

     ugggg… pretty big detail to fuck up. the pitcher and batter are MAKING NICE)(&!#%)(&*!#%)(&*!#%)*(!#%*()_

     SO MADDDD)&*(^#)&*(!#^(&*!#^*&(^!#*)(!^&*()!^#

206. I’m so happy for more pics of baby AJMP! I was feeling like we were in quite a drought for a while there.

     Drought is a weird-looking word.

207. Little A Jammer came over for a Qudoba party on Sunday night. He squawked a bit and then went to bed in his car seat. I think we can better please him if we do Panera next time.

     #breadbowl

208. I’m jealous. I’m told he’s coming over Saturday for hotdogs, but I was told Reilly was coming, too. And we know how that turned out.

209. [I'm not acknowledging the Panera jab. Except I just did.]

210. Yeah, sorry about the ditch job. I wanted to little kid PARTY. Maybe I’ll still show up a few hours after the party is over.

211. Wadi da di da ding *the big kids don’t play*… Nope we don’t play … The big kids don’t play: check the resume.
     Here goes the flow from your favorite dynamo Grand Puba doogie mo to show that we can flow slow…
     So, flow with the motion with the brother smooth as lotion I’m not boastin here it is because I have the magic potion.
     Grand Puba the madd rhymin ravin god child
     with more rhymes than tokens in the turnstyle. So call me the Grand Man, I laid off the sandman cause I like workin nights, I hit some joints and then I get into flights.
     Then push Uptown to Shabazz get a fish sandwich with bean soup, half and half, sign a few autographs, jet back downtown catch up with my staff, now if you think that you can follow this flow please don’t make me laugh #thebigkidsdontplay

212. *fights not flights #blasphemy

213. hfdklajfklasdjfdklafjdakl

214. parlay parlay parlay

215. pubababababababababa PUBA GRAND PUBA PUBA PUBA PUBA PUBA supplsed to be wriing a stooooooooooopid “cover letter” i’ll give you a cover letter that’all knock your socks off. how about GRAND PUBA LETTER. check it yo. you prefer slick rick? I’m a tell you a story and i come out bluntly born an ugly child hey nobody would want me. i used to walk around and get upset and upsetter, until i figured out ways to make myself look better. as i got older my awareness expanded, i met this beautiful girl and my wish was commanded. didn’t hang with the fellas cause they started getting shady. always be my girl and yeah i’d call her my lady. i loved her a lot, word up, not going to front see, the problem that arose is why on earth did she want me? couldn’t figure it out and to make things worse, i was cursed, from the torment of not being the first. and the first was this fly guy, made me very jealous always think she cheat on me and talk to other fellas. two wrongs don’t make a right but any time we would fight i would kindly pick up the phone and call a girl out of spite #ishouldnthavedoneit

216. puba

217. A Teenage Love #donthurtmeagain

218. #worstslickricksongthereis

219. my favorite slick rick song is probably MOSES but close second favorite is KIT. in KIT someone has stolen Rick’s crown and is impersonating him and so he enlists KIT from Night Rider to hunt down the impersonator. In the song Rick has Kit drive him to mcdonalds where gets kidnapped but he uses his watch lighter to get away:

     Well my tummy was growlin while I’m chillin in my seat. We stopped by McDonald’s so I could somethin to eat. Skipped the line –the crowd started to break — hey yo, let me get a Big Mac and a strawberry shake.

     Someone snatched me by my neck I thought I must be dead! injected me with somethin threw a bag over my head. I felt real weak, word, I couldn’t even stand, I fell — next thing I’m being thrust inside a van!

     Unconscious… who could be this shady?
     When I awoke I was in a room with this lady.
     “So you’re the boss, Slick Rick with all the clout?” Uh-huh that’s my title — now what’s this all about? And then she left the room this was my one chance for hope! I used my watch lighter to burn away the rope then I’m free, I’m free! And no one was alerted, I made a flying leap through the window and it hurted.

     #goldenera

220. borrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeddddddddddddddddd i hate you

221. i want a watch lighter.

222. fjkdfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdkfjdklskdfukfjdkaldfjdkaldkfdufkjdfkldafjdkljfdkalfkdjfkdlafjdalf;adfjdalfjjjjd

223. this is how actors type in movies klcmaklfjdkmkmkldjfdkdkmfkamckjcalj fjdkjfa jdkjfdkjd jdkjkld jo9 j kdjfklj l jl

224. who could be this shady?

225. I’m in another mock draft, mocking the shit out of YOU.

226. CAL!

     i’ll shop for lighter watches

227. #BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN

228. I don’t want him having that.

229. i tune into TUF tonight for shirts off pool and i get shirts on bowling?????

     #WTFGAY

230. sorry cal… lighter watches have been BANNED.

     #HOPEURHAPPY

231. yo homes, to bell air.

232. how about a march 16th day of ice fishing at timmers, followed by the diaz / st. pierre PPV and baby party sleep/whazz-over

233. #BOOKED

234. the new lara croft game looks like skyrim meets portal 2 meets pornography

     CAL&!%#(*&!#%)*(&

     we’re talking media revolution in wisco… you want in? draft some papers.

235. Too close to B day for a 5 hour car ride. But Bry and maybe oneil would join you.

     It sounds real perfect, though.

236. Did you ever see the TUF where Bisbing played air hockey for 10K?

     #boner

237. Posted on the youtube by my friend tupacsfatherAGAIN:

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6nkn6FaDAg

     They both suck. They hold the mallet like a rookie. They aint banking for shit and they don’t get how to play D.

238. dude. a real live watch lighter to burn away the rope. it exists.

239. #FUCKTHEUN

240. cal, you can’t have it…. ok??? BANNED. yes, it is for sale… yes, you could just put in your credit card info, pay a tiny pittance, and it will show up at your doorstep with free shipping with no sales tax collected, and there are no laws stopping you, but YOU CAN NOT HAVE IT. BANNED. NO. STOP. NOT FOR YOU. NO NO NO.

241. i saw bisbing fall… #HARD

242. #DRONES

243. $2,000,000 HUNT

     CAL)*(&@#)*(&!#^&)*(!^#)&*(!#^

244. why did you have to show me that? I have to find it.

245. “After I hid the treasure I walked back to my car feeling very proud of myself and laughing out loud,”

     we know it’s walking distance from a road… i am going to find it.

246. he could have dropped it out of a helicopter, moron. he has $2,000,000 to THROW AWAY.

247. how was this not front page news?

     i guess i would have to read the paper to know if that is even true…. but i didn’t hear about it…. shouldn’t there have been an amber alter or something??!#%)(&

248. ALERT ALERT ALERT)(&#%^!)&(!#^)*(&!#^

249. the fucking pope preempted my price is right today, so i got alters on the brain.

     and ANGER@#^!)(!#^)*(^!#*()&^$*)(@$^*(U@^$*(@$^

     who won the showcase showdown?*()!&#^%)!#^ THE GODDAMN CATHOLICS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW)(&*!#^)&*(!#^)*(!#^

250. if this new mining bill fucks up my UP trip, i’m going to start a coal fire.

251. WHAT OF THE AGATE?

252. 1. That was beyond front page newz. Most quiet mystery of all time.

     2. I get real happy when you get angry about Price is Right.

     3. I hate that mining bill.

253. fucking president osama saddam sodomy interrupted by price is right again today.

     10000000 goddamned cable channels. 3 CSPAN CHANNELS PAID FOR BY THE GOVERNMENT AND BROADCAST UNIVERSALLY…. and some FUCKHEAD thinks the right move is sequestering my entertainment and making me listen to GODDAMN RETARDS that KNOW NOTHING.

     this country is not worth living in.

     #BOMBS

254. way to go american taxpayers… your soldiers on the front lines of the war on drugs have taken their knowledge and training that you paid for and given it to the colombian cartels

     #SEQUESTERED

255. bomb a government building…. OK?

     get it?

     #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

256. #OKLAHOMA

     this ain’t a single…
     it’s a warning until my album drops.

     oh, america.

257. #THEGAME

     fuckin’ up my price is right 2 days in a row.

     #OHHELLNO

258. no hope with no pope
     the rhyme dope in your dome
     blast through your home…
     shrapnel through your speakers
     scraps made out of everything
     regards, tha madddddddd reaper

     cal sucks.

259. Take off my clothes and kick up my heels… come on, fellas. It’s time to open the champagne.

     #NUDE

260. No limit fantasy baseball is the Cadillac of fantasy sports.

261. Loooooooooooooooooooooooot of table talk.

262. No limit poker at Dickey’s across from the Seeker is the Cadillac of LIFE.

263. KGB, he coulda, maybe had 99.

     #maybe

264. Worm’s crazy cash, smokes, trade three way game with the guards, whiteguys, and brothers sounds so interesting.

265. I get nervous as shit when I watch them cheat at cards.

266. Best word in Rounders:

     obsequious

267. #cameroon

268. do the harlem shake

269. 1. Worm’s jail poker economy

     2. Grandma’s guerrilla math

270. Cal, this is our thing we are talking about– not some losing hand of poker.

     I’d say good luck, but I know it’s not about luck in your game.

271. Wanderlei Siiiiiiiiiiiiiilva!!!!!!

272. yo cal, thanks for that tip to live at the top of nob hill rather than down in the ‘loin…

273. actually, fuck you. now i’ll never know what a transgendered strip club is like.

274. “girls” was extra good this week.

     does anyone watch “enlightened”? man, that show is annoying.

275. Ruin, ruin, ruin. Cla is a ruiner.

     My fav part for lol:

     “…but after watching grown men shit themselves and sometimes try to eat their own shit…”

     My fav part for relating to my life:

     “For the most part, people do not want help. They want money or they want drugs or they want death.”

     Now, my students do not want death, but they just want to finger fuck each other and drink and play xbox and somehow also have money and a good life. I actually have a post it on my computer “HELP DONT RESCUE.”

     If someone wants help with writing, I CAN HELP WITH THAT. But most of them want to be rescued and for that, I show them community resources for whatever ails em… few follow through on it.

276. fun facts:

     1) i think i could submit chickenandricericeandchicken, but i don’t think i could beat that guy that he just beat.

     2) wwwwwwhazz is older than a man so old i can’t believe they are still alive and functioning.

     3) i am the best at being the worst at handicapping fights OR the fight came is perfectly rigged against me.

277. We are two behind on girls.

     I watched the first 3 episodes of season 1 Enlightened after our MMA hangout. I actually liked it, thought it was funny.

     I like the ex husband. I like the crazy folks in the basement of the building. I do expect Rafi to be more Rafi, though… and some sort of connection to dinosaurs.

278. did you read any of the comments on that article? everyone is hating on that bitch HARD…

     complaining about the people you were employed to help??? HOW DARE YOU?)(*&!#%&*(!#%&*(!#%&*(!#%

     i guess they expect her let the guy eating his poop borrow her spoon.

     fork?

279. i watched a bunch of enlightened, but stopped for about the last 3 weeks…. can’t bail on the girls yet though. the last 3 have probably been the best, so you’re in for a treat

280. Yeah, finding out that I’m older than wanderlei silva was a real memento mori. I’m glad I was able to share it on trubbbs with you and your family.

     I let madddddd pick whichever fighter he wanted for 4 mma fights.

     He took Gomi at 2-1 over Diego: Lost $5

     He took Lombard over Okami: Lost $10

     He took the tallest man on the planet over a fat dude: Lost $10

     He took Stann over Wandy and lost $10 plus a $10 KO side bet.

     Madddddd made every pick and LOST every bet. Those were some sweet fights though. Best I’ve seen in a long time.

281. watching most shows on HBO makes me beg the question, “WHERE ARE THE GAS CHAMBERS FOR THESE PEOPLE?!”

     #MONEYDRUGSDEATH
     #JOWRIGGEDJOKE

282. i’ve gone 0 for the event MANY times on MMA. pretty much an unbelievable amount. statistically relevant to prove something RIGGED is going on.

     i had bet on that same fat dude as a heavy dog in the past…

     ugggg.

283. I read some of the comments. I’m on the girl’s side. She works hard in shit conditions with shit resources for shit pay. Trying to survive on 32K in SF while working that hard with that much education is not a sustainable life.

     She talked about her idealism rotting away. I think that is fair.

284. I’m in the same boat. That was my BEST night of MMA betting in my entire life… I did not make a single decision, yet went 4-0.

285. NUDE NUDE NUDE