Line of Literary Inquiry

Allegory,  Allusion,  Metaphor. How do they relate, and how do you define each, specifically?

An allegory may be thought of as an extended metaphor according to this pageExamples of an allegory are such works as fables and parables. The importance seems to be placed on the long-form nature of the work, as well as the ability to tell two (or more) narratives simultaneously. Setting, characters, and plot are meant to tell a literal story as well as a second story dependent on symbols. If one were to construct a story about a country mouse that moves to the big city, works at a hamburger joint, and ultimately gets a law degree from a school flirting with de-creditation to get a non-paying job at the local Hall of Justice, it could be construed as an allegory of Cal’s post-undergraduate life. Oh yeah, a chapter where he lives in Chicago would go well in there too.

An allusion is more a short- form work (often a sentence or two) that references another person, place, event, or cultural touchstone in order to provide a stronger punch of a specific mood or emotion to the reader. It’s meant to draw on a reader’s presumed experience with the referenced thing to leech the associated thoughts, opinions, and feelings into the work using the allusion. For example, “I felt a sinking sensation in my belly, as wwhazz must have felt coming down the ladder of the crane only to see a police cruiser’s spotlight shining directly in his face.

A metaphor is a work of variable length (as suggested by the existence of the term extended metaphor). It’s a figure of speech; the ideas it connotes are figurative in nature as opposed to literal. The differences between metaphor and simile are well-known to middle school students paying any attention at all, but while similes are the fart joke of the literary world (ed: metaphor) the metaphor is like the steadicam shot from Goodfellas (ed: simile). “Kcar’s brilliant take on the SPASH state softball tournament was a shining beacon in the utter blackness of Northern Wisconsin Prep Sports Reporting.

Metaphor can sometimes be confused with hyperbole; “The Madd Scientist is cuckoo bananas.” is mere hyperbole as opposed to metaphor, as we’re not trying to draw a connection to another literal idea (i.e., insane) but merely exaggerating the truth, which is that he’s bananas.

What’s the difference between me and you? About five bank accounts, three ounces, and two vehicles. Now, what’s an analogy and how does it relate to these literary ideas?

138 thoughts on “Line of Literary Inquiry

  1. Life lesson, bro. Come sub for me some time. Anytime. Please.

    UP was GOOD. Not the greatest ever or anything, Just your standard bro down.

    Thursday we had lawman, bryguy, madddddd, me and a timmer brother at Timmer’s place. We drank in bars, rode in boats, watched 3d movies, and played cards til 3am. We sent you a pretty cool football/baseball video, I think. If not we can send it now. We reinvented rush poker.

    Friday me, maddd, and Bry went to Carla’s sex palace and got a swinging room, lucky #7. Maddd found some baseballs at a grocery store. We ate fish and watched the tiger’s game. Prince struck out a ton. I almost ordered baked fish when I really wanted a baked tator. Thank god Brian and Maddd both jumped in and told her, no, he wants fried. Ty, bros. We skipped 1000 rocks and eventually went to the Ojib. They replaced the roulette wheel with a 1-2 nl poker game. A GOOD game. Drunken. No COWARDS. Madddd had some interesting side adventures– not standard.

    Saturday we cleaned up puke and bolted from carla’s. Me, bry and timmer had a quiet night in hodag county. Real quiet. Like 1 beer and in bed at 10.

    Tim was a fine host. He cooked for us. Provided gallons of steam beer. Provided a clean, warm-lighted place for us to rest our heads, order $14 ppv movies, and fill with chew cups and empty bottles.

    Oh, I tossed my new iphonefever to the bottom of a lake… jumped in in my cloths and retrieved it. A classic springer moment. I was depressed but then grew to like living life with a knife and ball of copper in my pocket instead of a computer… BUT, the phone lived. It’s the Jeff Hardy of iphones and WILL NOT DIE.

  2. ball of copper flashback… i was pretty dead saturday morning… backseat snoozin on the way to the rhine. we flip a bitch and pull over somewhere… hitchhiker? glass bottles on a table? huh? what is going on? i don’t care. SNOOZE. “BRO! I HAVE COPPER!”, and then a rant about how the locals have cornered the copper game with diligence, and how shelling out cash is your only option. then i puked in my mouth a little and got back to #SNOOZIN.

    i’m still booze free… i was chaw free too until a work marathon last night that ran until 4am. thought of booze makes me sick. i watch my wife drink a glass of wine each night and wonder how she can do that to herself. i might be broken inside. don’t be scurrred… i can fix it from within. i am HOV. say it.

    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA

  3. i moneymakered the game to its death, and a richly toned foreign gentleman attempted to kipe my $100 pot when his AK paired the K, but my T6 double paired.

    that game was run by idiots. my favorite part was the cardroom manager dealing to us, we demand to know who is really in charge, he assures us that he’s the boss… we ask if he is authorized to get us a round of drinks, he says no… in unison, sitting directly on either side of him, we both say “you’re not the boss”… pure instinct, but man… really cut that d00d down hard. you are NOTHING. wwwhazzz completes the karmic motion put in place by buying the table a round. like 5 minutes later, with my new drink still 90% full, another waitress comes around and says the house is buying another round… someone didn’t like the dressing down. lesson learned. if you’re going to brag about being the boss, people are going to ask for things, and you’ll be inclined to give them those things.

    they were using paper blackjack cards… so easy to mark or bend. so many little things that would never fly in any established poker room that saw any asian action, because those sneaky little guys will shoot every angle they can. weird rules. no missed blind buttons… if you get up and leave your chips on the table, they take chips off your stack for the blinds. i’m pretty sure that’s illegal. they didn’t consent to the wager. o’neeeeezy, lets go class action and get rich… or at least lifetime ojib free bar tabs. RUFFLE SOME FEATHERS)(&!#%)&!#^)(*!#^

    WHOOOOOSH…. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH……

  4. Ha, I forgot about that drink game. Funny stuff.

    I liked the goofy rules including smoking at the table.

  5. The African African was a fine addition. He busted my AA with J4 and took a hundo off me but it was worth it. I like playing that game.

    My stack went $100 to 250 to 50 to 100 to 200 to 90. Lots of good action. The table was me, madddd, the African African, four old timers on a fishing trip, spikey hair miller lite drinker and burly walmart forklift driver.

    Action!

  6. After the table broke, maddddd and spikey hair played dice. Me and Bry went and drank beer in the bowling alley for like an hour and a half.

    Maddddd came back beyond drunk. He pulled a me and turned 100 into 500 into 70. He babbled at us and went to turn the 70 into whiskey… on his way to the cage field bet the 70 and made 140. Broke even on dice and spent the profit on a double round of double drinks.

    That put me to sleep.

  7. After the drinks, we stormed back to the casino ready to gambo, but everything was closed save slots. I dropped a twank in a video poker and left 17.50 in the machine as our cab, Paula’s cab service (a minivan driven by a big man), was ready to take us back to the motel.

    During the drive we had visions of rush poker but I passed out. Maddddd stayed up with Brian and set up the room with 1000′s of dollars of audio and video equipment. The room was wired for sound and video. When I woke up it looked like a web girl operation. Madd did this all on auto pilot. Then he sand blasted the bathroom with bits of white fish and maraschino cherries. He told Brian it was a clean shot into the toilet but it was a dirty shot all over everything. THen madddd went to play by the lake again and BRIAN LET HIM, just went to sleep.

    In the morn I was confused by the web cam shit, wondered if they butt fucked me and broadcast it on the web. I saw all the puke in the bathroom and said to Brian, him, right? And pointed at the slumbering giant. We woke up 7 minutes past checkout. We tossed our shit in bags and went to the car…. it was not there. We forgot it was at the casino. We called Paula again and Bri picked it back up. I sat in the sun and maddddd drank, puked soda water a few times. When we left, madddd took the keys and we had to mail them back to carla.

    On the ride home I bought that above mentioned ball of copper off a lady on the side of the road. Her operation was a lawn chair and a blanket full of rocks, a hand painted sign, copper sale. At the restaurant in Eagle River I had a major fear madddddd was going to puke on the table in a restaurant full of the elderly and children. I didn’t dare voice it though.

  8. new rush poker ideas:
    flop is As5h6h. now take out all the T, J, Q, K that are offsuit, as they won’t be action cards… just leave in the Th, Jh, Qh, Kh.

    no raising on the turn.

    #DEAL

  9. good post, homie. sounds like good times were had in the UP. mp hooked me up with fudd’s email bc i’m moving to singapore. done and done. what should i do there? yoga teacher? copper ball seller? hamburger stand? please advise. ps i lied about that whole done and done business. but might do. y a h e a r d ?

  10. You know that little hand thing you do to cars when you cross the street in SF? Try that with a rickshaw, bro.

    #smooshed

  11. yes, and yes.

    and maybe go further that any bet on the turn be pot sized.

    initial action will either be made hand vs draw or 2 made hands… it should be pretty clear what is going on. whatever happens on the turn is just a dik fight… either both diks wait for the river to blow, or you have to GAMBO. maybe it’s too confusing though… i’m just anticipating how the game will play out and try to make it more fun and more RUSHed

  12. You caught up on BB yet?

    I just watched the new one. A good set up episode. The only spoiler I failed to avoid was Badger’s fan fiction… even with a warning, I had me a big ol chuckle.

  13. yeah, i got caught up and watched the new episode live. i already had the last 3 episodes worked about pretty much 99% as aired. i didn’t need to watch them… this new episode was great and spun the story back into chaos. i hope things aren’t so obvious after these next 4 episodes.

  14. ILLIN.

    we’re taking the shorties to the lake this weekend… i want to take the canoe out and wet some lines, but rach-o isn’t sure about taking the smallest one out. swing on up to the cleeeze and take the lead oar. throw the jizzzle in with the hwk and CRUUUUUUUISE.

  15. student loans story…

    “For this story, I interviewed people who developed crippling mental and physical conditions, who considered suicide, who had to give up hope of having children, who were forced to leave the country, or who even entered a life of crime because of their student debts. …

    #CALSUCKS

  16. I walked past the movie poster for Jobs staring Ashton Kutcher and wondered aloud… what sort of idiot would want to see this?

    #cal

  17. Cal and his Singapore buddies all crowed in some stupid theatre munching on bean curd and dried fish.

  18. Only good thing he ever did is invent a magic phone that still lets you play fantasy baseball after you throw it in a lake… stupid springer and his t-mobile bullshit.

  19. springer’s phone might have still worked…. it’s deep in some catfish’s gut by now.

  20. yadier is pissing me off. that broken fucker took 2 weeks off, plays 1 game 0/5, then sits today. i’m 13 games back at catcher and need every fucking starter… fucking day games and they post the lineup like 5 minutes before the start. I HAVE A JOB YOU FUCKING HOBO CHEATERS(&*!#%^(&*!#%^)*(!%#^

    sit on the bunch, MOGINA. you have a gurldik. either put the pads on and get behind the plate, or go be poor in czechosingporia or whatever the fuck. you are NOTHING)(&^#!)&*(!^#*()!^#

  21. cal, o’neezy…. let’s fight this

    what if i said to someone else “any breath of air you take is prohibited”… surely i have the 1st amendment right to say whatever i want (or at least in pre-nazi america i was made to believe i had such a right…. but oft told of exceptions where my speech would incite riots… blah blah)

    is my telling someone else that they can’t breathe a crime? what if they listen to me and die? whose fault is that?

    i’m pretty sure cal didn’t even go to law school… racked up 150Gs debt on CLIF BARS.

    #RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUNBLACKTOES

  22. yo cal, i’ll sell you anyone on my team for $20. just make sure wwwwhazz doesn’t find out. i’m not taking your stinky rupees either…. i take USD and BITCOIN.

  23. that 70′s dead chick

    i could have called that 2 weeks ago… she gave an interview claiming she was a great actress and she could do any role, but she was way screwed up. i’d guess drugs, but that’s probably illegal right?

  24. i want a more of this lake jump. how did it fall in the lake? did you immediately jump in or did you hesitate? was it deep? did you need to swim down to catch it? was it on the lake bottom? i wish you dived in to get it and found a new world under the sea. i would go with you to that world. we will swim to the bottom of the lake-world and live in peace with the lake people.

  25. UG.

    I went out for a kayak ride. I noticed I had my iphone in my pocket–this is traumatic to recall, bro. But I’ll still totally reCAL it.

    I said to self, what sort of idiot kayaks with a pocket computer? Not this idiot. So I turned the pig around and set my phone on the dock. I was about to paddle away when I noticed the phone was not centered on the plank. Some weird part of my mind told me it needed to be in the center of the plank. I pushed it to the center and then past the center off the other side of the plank and kerplunk. I blame springer.

    I watched the phone drift to the bottom. It fluttered back and forth like a quarter in drop a quarter win a soda game they used to have on the counter at taco bell. The water was about neck high on me. I hesitated for about 1 second then capsized my kayak and swiped the phone off the bottom of the mucky lake. The one second lag was more shock than hesitation. I saw a craw dad and a perch and a school of tiny bullheads. It was a magiCAL world but we could never make a new life there.

  26. After that, I turned it off and took it to the hardware store. I bought a can of compressed air and gave it a blowjob. I asked the hardware dude if he sold bags of silica. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a wallet sized jumbo back. I asked, you sell those? He said no. I asked, can I have that? He said no. He really needed it for something.

    I used belly’s phone to google around a bit and read like 100000′s articles about wet phones. I went back to in the store and bought quick dry or redidry or some shit. I put wrapped the phone in paper towel to keep the crystals out of its holes and locked it in a bagful for three days.

    I turned it back in late Saturday night and all seems well.

  27. So first Jerkmichael calls out Rodger’s leadership… he gets a 2 year exile from the football.

    Jennings and Driver are more smrt… they wait til they are gone before they do the same thing.

  28. floated the canoe with the shorties…. saw a bunch of turtles…. creeped up on one with rach-o sporting a giant net… got so close she could have just grabbed it with her hands before it jumped in the water and she still didn’t get it. i wasn’t going to keep it, just let the shorties say hi…. on the way home she said, “what if i didn’t catch it on purpose?”

    #SABOTEUR)*(&!#%&*()!%#)&(!#%)&*(!#%

  29. fantasy baseball has taught me that my fantasy is to be a cardinals fan.

    now i know why i hate brian andersen so much.

  30. shut the box results from tonight:

    roll #1….. snake-eyes
    roll #2….. snake-eyes

    WHOA. worst possible score. cal could not suck more than me. i suck the most.

  31. Here is a very strange jsonline story. I repost it here in its entirety and unedited.

    California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot
    By Akbar Ahmed of the Journal Sentinel
    August 20, 2013
    A 37-year-old man from California was shot at approximately 3:40 p.m. Tuesday in the 6400 block of N. 56th St.

    He was being treated at a hospital and was in a stable condition as of 9 p.m. The Milwaukee Police Department is investigating the crime as an attempted robbery.

    A 37-year-old man from California was shot at approximately 3:40 p.m. Tuesday in the 6400 block of N. 56th St.

    He was being treated at a hospital and was in a stable condition as of 9 p.m. The Milwaukee Police Department is investigating the crime as an attempted robbery.

    A 37-year-old man from California was shot at approximately 3:40 p.m. Tuesday in the 6400 block of N. 56th St.

    He was being treated at a hospital and was in a stable condition as of 9 p.m. The Milwaukee Police Department is investigating the crime as an attempted robbery.

  32. California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot

  33. that is what happens when you bring sabermetrics into the workplace.

    same with coders… if you place values on “lines of code changed” people with just add all sorts of jibberish to pad their stats.

    dollars to donuts that Akbar Ahmed gets paid by the word, or at least upper management is given reports that shows how many words he’s wrote. sneaky muslims.

    i read the headline as: “California man shot By Akbar Ahmed of the Journal Sentinel”

    #ASSALAMALAYKUM

  34. That works too.

    I like to yell:

    California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot in presumed robbery California man shot

  35. you just rabbit holed the shit out of me. her name is “rocks” and she has giant titties / rocks out in bars / and literally digs up rocks, and puts all of that in videos on the internet? riot’s mom might need to get on the side track for a while……

    #BONETHEBEAST

  36. me and the HWK watched short circuit a few days ago… just now, i was teaching her the difference between print and cursive with her crayons, and she giggles after i helped her write a few words and said, “NEED INPUT!!! INNNNNNNNNNNPUTTTTTTTTTTT!!”

  37. A few choice quotes from a review of Jay Leno’s poto wato show last night:

    “The room erupted in bitter groans, and a disheveled Leno tried to cover up his big blunder. “That was just to see if you were paying attention,” he barked, embarrassed, followed by some forgiving claps.

    He had been thrown by a recurring noise coming from a man in the corner of the room. “Are you all right? You sound like you’re dying, sir,” Leno joked.

    What Leno didn’t know is the person he was poking fun of – Timothy Williams of Elkhorn – had suffered a traumatic brain injury as a child.”

  38. Oops, cut the first sentence… He thought he was in Minnesota. Fucking just like cla when he’s camping in France. Now that I think about it, cal was probably sleeping in a garbage can when he thought he was camping in France. I guess it all works out.

  39. A related ewhazz tall tale. He once helping a limping teenage girl into the concourse van. He says to her, I see you have a hitch in your giddy up. She says, excuse me? He explains the saying, she explains she wears a prosthetic leg and bursts into tears.

  40. You fired up for your first draft? Who presses the buttons, you or rach? Will you both be nekkid? Does it happen in the trubbbb room? What will you drink? Are you excited to break from Brian? Will you go for blood when you play him or will it be mournful/ old yeller style like when Sean micheals retired flair? And, can you share some of your picks?

  41. buttons will be pushed by whoever is currently on top… definitely n00d… brian is good as dead. i have no current picks, but i have been watching some fantasy shows on NFL network. thinking about getting XM just to get some insight from MIZZZZZZZ. he’s AWESOME.

  42. just now learning the blunder i made in baseball roto… not enough games left in the season to fill my full quotas…. HUGE mistake. i started out the season super strong trying to maximize play time, but my projected stats were way over, and i thought i was eating junk stats that i didn’t have to, so i took my foot off the gas a bit, and now i’m way behind. next year i’m on the gas from day 1. next year i win. next year.

  43. i was away from my computer all weekend building theatre seating around my aquarium… sunday night i was terrified that i had missed the fooooball draft. it’s thursday. phew. that was close. dikhole close.

  44. smackdown is at the target center next tuesday.

    BY GAWWWWWWWD)(&*!%#)*(!#^)*(^!#*)(!^#*()&!#^

  45. SNAILROOM2000 UPDATE:

    a red clawed crab has taken liking to my baby toad. wherever the toad goes, the crab parks himself in front of the toad, and just STARES at him. the toad seems in good health (i run a tight snailroom), so i don’t think the crab is waiting for the toad to die. there is a possibility i’m dealing with a hypnotoad… a likely possibility.

  46. well, fuck. as the final step to my big aquarium project, i did the twice a year full overhaul and took everyone out of the tank and put them in a temp tank and completely cleaned everything. i let the red claw crab climb on my hand and set him gentle in the water tank… i put his obsession (mr. toad) in a bucket with the turts… by the time i put everyone back in, the red claw crab died of loneliness. shit. i was way into the toad/crab storyline. uggg. either way, the tank is now AWESOME. miz saw my tank and said, “I AM NO TANK”… he’s not THAT awesome.

    me and the HWK are watching WWE for all mankind. she’s a fan. she laid down on the floor and said “daddy, come wrestle”… so i dropped a captain jack elbow on her face.

    #WINNING

  47. my new best friend? time will tell. email: #SENT

    my whazz machine is back to full glory full function…. 1 problem…. it shocks the shit out of you if you touch the bolts. i’m half convinced that taking a little current could be beneficial to human life, but i’d still rather not get shocked all the god damned time.

    #COCKTAIL

  48. i was 100% sure that eastbound & down was done last season… i think they even called it “series finale”… i was proud of HBO and will farrell to not drag the story of kenny powers into his sad 40s… i wanted more, but the show is done. i was ok with that. and now i find out there is more coming??? i excited, yet confused. where did this season come from? kenny p, here is some advice: don’t get old.

  49. I think he wanted to be done after season dos, but they bent his dick back behind his butthole with a chicken wing hold and stuffed money in his pockets until he gave them 3… and then 4. OR maybe they promised him another show if he gave them 4… I cannot remember but it was not Kenny’s idea.

  50. after not hearing from my new best friend after waiting over 10 hours, i dug in deeper and found his twitter account… he wants to take a gun safety course and go to the range. oh boy.

    #GAYMARRIAGE

  51. Don’t kill the hobo. You kill the hobo, you kill my soul! My soul that works so hard all year just so I can live like a hobo in the UP for two days. The rich people in the bed, the pukers, they realize this as the bile and bits of tilapia and the cherries from their OFs (brandy/sour) bubble up from the depths. The hobo is rich and the rich are poor. Or perhaps we are all hobos, we all die be it via the hand of a cook who didn’t wash after he wiped or a tall piece of timber. Perhaps we are all rich and how we spend our money or time is all that matters. Perhaps we are all fictional whims, simply the last synaptic spasm of a man struck down by a vengeful whazz machine.

    In the end, I’m left with more questions than answers… but isn’t that the point of all great literature?

  52. BRO. i know all that. the alternate ending is just for the DVD to appease the morons and bilk them out of a twank.

    gotta get that BOOM-BOOM BOOOOOOOOOOM.

  53. i like the whole card.

    skull vs ears
    beauty vs beast
    caveman vs shaved caveman
    dumb vs dumber
    AND THE MAIN EVENT:
    SWAG VS SWAG

    come on down to the bradley center, and meet bradley. he’s cool. the bradley center. things happen here.

    #SOLD

  54. fucking yadio mogina rested his pussy on the bench at the last minute, or i would have put in my backup catcher, and had to play byrd off my bench who got a 3 run homer vs crew. UGGGGGG. i am figuring out what it takes to win. next year i’ll probably have heavy side action.

  55. Brian says kicker, kicker, and if there is a good one in the third, kicker. Corner the market, bro.

    #wheat

  56. my complete draft playbook:

    1) who is the next best auto-draft d00d
    2) does he meet the profile? if so: draft; if not: go to step 1.

    #WINNING

  57. “the profile” is ambiguous much like the most ideal and noblest of art.

    ok… it’s chin beards.

  58. caron butler to the bucks…. raycilla’s 2nd best crack dealer behind brent moss, and both parked out in orange and blue. hail, hail, hail to thee.

    #CRACK

  59. Crack!

    That draft was tough. I was sober for the first time EVER. Both kids are sick and I was up til 5:00 am last night (maybe 3 hours of sleep the previous night) plus I was working during the days. I was afraid that they would keep me up again. No way I could do three in a row boozy. Last night I fell asleep on Pi’s bedroom floor and woke up when she jammed a nook in my mouth.

  60. i’m on the move in baseball… up to 10th. boys of sommers = SUCK.

    i’m happy with my my fooooball team. i tried to set up the rotten wall, but alas, there was only rot. no wall.

    #WINNING

  61. I didn’t get has chatty as I wanted. Timmer put the kid down, poured a glass of jamo and then his power went out.

    I had him on the phone and was taking his orders and putting them in on one laptop. Brian was texting me orders and I had him up on a different computer. And I had myself up on the main computer.

    Very busy.

    While this is happening, Brian would text me shit like, “you know the plan”
    and I’d say “Rodgers?”
    And he’d say, “Peterson”
    and then he’d say “no, foster.”
    I’d say “really?”
    And he’d say, “Maybe. Who is Dough Martin? Is he good?”
    And I’d say, “you want doug martin?”
    And he’d say, “Trent Richardson or Peterson.”
    And I’d say, “really?”
    And he’d say, “no not really”
    And I’d say, “TELL ME WHAT TO DO.”
    And he’s say “just take rodgers.” “or lynch”
    And I’d say “you are 5th. Rodgers will be there”
    And he said “take him”

    So that was cutting in on my time to make my own picks, cutting in on my ability to try and join showtime and maddddd’s philosophical discussion on the morality of date rape and Adrian Perterson’s injured third leg.

    It was nice to have timmer on the line. he knew shit like injuries and such.

  62. I got my dream team.

    RG3 QB: I went black on qb after favre retired and now I’m not going back.

    RB Trent Richardson is perfect. Spiller was my dream #1, but I am happy with Trent-e-ba. Plus lawman loves spiller so I’m happy to see them together again.

    RB Bush. I met that fucker in San Diego a few times. Plus it’s fun to type: WEVE GOT BUSH

    WR: Ever hear of Dez Bryant, bro?
    WR: Jordy will make watching packer games extra fun. Plus spite points for taking him before madddddddd. Enjoy Peyton Manning.

    TE: Jerkmichael might be good, right?

    The bench is full of fun: Le’Veon is a pretty name. Julian is str8 up trailer park. Mohamed will bless us all. Sebastian is also pretty. And the Washington D gives me a reason to give 1/10 of a shit about monday night football.

  63. that jordy pick was 100% spite based. i had him set to autodraft in that round… 5 picks away. ugg. i was thinking of getting him in the earlier round, but i’m too MASTERFUL at fantasy sports to make that dum mistake. UGG.

    peapods fell apart after not getting rodgers… i was worried she was going to lose it and destroy her computer and kick the shit out of neezy. bri on the dik snipe.

  64. Touchdown Jordy!!

    Scientist puts his arms up over his head JORDY and little Hwk copies him JORDY.

    And then he sees yahoo update the stats and my team moves up the ranks.

    Everyone wins

  65. I saw your report card from those click mongers over at yahoo.

    You followed their playbook and their robot reporter rewarded you. I drifted and built the team I wanted JORDY and JERKMICHAEL and they penalized me. They were also pissed at me for waiting on my D and K.

    There are a lot of rankings out there. I looked at yahoos and looked at the dude who works with the miz and read few others and then made my own. I always drift though. Same in basball. You can go online and look at dudes who play in $10,000 12 team leagues and they really drift from yahoo.

  66. I have also seen cal win the league doing 100% autodraft and getting an A+. I’ve seen BOP win it and take a C-.

  67. I was hoping the drink would get into the interwebs and swirl around a bit until rodgers came back to where he belonged. Rodgers is always a pod in his heart.

  68. I have images of sparking computers and screaming babies and a stove top fire all happening during your draft.

  69. I will bet you str8 up your kicker does not finish top 3 in yahoo scoring.

    We should get a little list of side action going

  70. i would have gone with the crazy MN kicker if you kept the default scoring with 50+ yarders getting 5 points instead of 4. i made the adjustment and make the right move.

    #A-

  71. 6 months in jail because you were eating a sandwich and breadcrumbs fell from your mouth.

    my brother-in-law’s family makes a shit ton of money building for-profit private prisons for wisconsin. locking you up for any reason is good for business. buy a law. buy a judge. buy some cops – THEY ARE CHEAP. lock everyone up. FOR THE CHILDREN(*&#!%&*)(!#%&*)!#%&(*)!#%

  72. way to go bucks and the new york jews buying their private interests to benefit from the forced taxation of the public…

    your forced tithings are being spent on a coach who plead guilty to domestic violence, and was arrested for DWI after crashing his car into a pole supporting public telecommunications infrastructure. YOU’LL FIT RIGHT IN! WELCOME TO WISCONSIN! WHERE THE PLAYERS PLAY!

    #RIDEONTHATSHITLIKEEVERYDAY

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