Fantasy

Y’all are living in a fantasy; one where you move human men around on a chessboard like Chewbacca back in the Millenium Falcon break room. It makes me sick to my stomach to think about the pressure JORDY must be under to perform up to wwhazz’s atmospheric standards.

In the meantime, I went to a conference here in Madison, had fun and partied until midnight four days in row. My body cannot withstand late night boozin’ four days in a row anymore– but that used to be a Monday for Ewaz fer christ’s sake. I dunno, I just kept popping Advil every morning and shuffling back onto the bus downtown to learn more about rubies and gems. By Saturday night I collapsed into a heap on the bed and when I awoke Sunday morning I was Sick as Shit. Like, seriously. Then Way-Way got sick, and now we have to contend with a sick kid on a four hour flight. Sad face.

Sorry ladies and germs but I’ll be out Calfornia way for awhile. Maybe you’ll be lucky little scrumps and I’ll post a picture of GMX waving at you or something. In the meantime whoop it up while slave driving your ill-gotten human men to victory on the Frozen Tundra.

206 thoughts on “Fantasy

  1. throw your heat, axTURD… dress up like a red bird
    you choke like a bitch, on my dikspit… YA HEARD?!
    you rip like a gurl, you’re the calf in the bullpen…
    everything you try to close, my arthritic grandma could open!!

    #ZING

  2. I’ll never understand your hate of fantasy sports. You like games, you like gambling, you watch sports. I don’t see where the disconnect comes from.

    How are my expectations for Jordy any different then the 1000′s of fools who cheer for the Packers?

    Plus, it’s super fun!

  3. Sounded like good fights in Milwaukee.

    Pettis is a Milwaukee guy and he won the 155 belt off Benson Henderson. Ah, Benson.

  4. whazzman, don’t be tempted by whichzzzzzzzz. all sport is ruined for me. i am not pure. i am DIRTY. SO dirty. i want molina to hit homeruns. fantasy made me like this.

  5. mp used to have serious problem with mixing wagering and packer fanatiCAL emotions. he’s done fucking around with it. he’s not a kid anymore. that shit can fuck you up. I’M OFF IT. FOR GOOD. I HAVE A PLAN.

    one room which i will not leave; one mattress; tomato soup,
    ten tins of; mushroom soup, eight
    tins of, for consumption cold; ice
    cream, vanilla, one large tub of;
    Magnesia, Milk of, one bottle;
    paracetamol; mouth wash; vitamins;
    mineral water; Lucozade;
    pornography; one bucket for urine,
    one for feces, and one for vomitus;
    one television; and one bottle of
    Valium

  6. You had Lucroy. LUCK in with Lucroy. Don’t touch Molina next time. Try not to fuck around with red birds.

  7. i have no choice at this point. i’m hooked…. RUINED. embracing the ride….

    #CRACKHEADATHEART

  8. my whazz machine is done. everything works. no shocks. i’d give it a 94%, and i’m 100% sure i could get it up to 97% by adjusting some dials on the motherboard, but every adjustment means probably getting shocked, and when you get that setting right, it affects other settings, so you never know when you’re done, and eventually you hiccup and cross the streams and blow something up. i’m letting 94 sit. it’s done. YEARS. done.

    i played against the HWK last night. she quit after 2 holes AND KNEW HOW TO DO IT. ah, old school programmers. only 3 buttons, YET IT’S COMPLETELY OBVIOUS WHAT THEY ALL DO. EVEN WITHOUT LABELS. a 2 year old knows how to quit. JUST KNOWS. nowadays… MARON A MI…. backspin? roll? load IGS profile? like on facebook?#!%*(& POST TO YOUTUBE?)&#)&(!#^)(&*!#^)(&*!#^ fucking futuristic simulated SHIT. i want RAW ELECTRICITY surging through RESISTORS and CAPACITORS and TRANSISTOR LOGIC GATES. PHYSICS implemented with PHYSICS. fucking virtualized futuristic shit. MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL. GARBAGE.

    whazz whazz everyday.

    #A2K

  9. here is what sucks about fantasy… i watched a shit ton of preseason action… staring at the balls of every dog strutting by. lucroy impressed me more than anyone. i pick him up… he sucks for 50% of a season, then gets hurt, then more suck, and i’m way behind on catcher innings, so i have to make a move. he keeps sucking for a while, and now he’s the god i saw all along, but some other jerk is getting the JUICE.

    JERKS.

  10. lucroy scouting report… he’s smart enough to see the season as a marthon, yet dumb enough to let that make him suck and still get hurt.

    DAY 1. OUT OF THE GATE. FULL STEAM.

    pacing is for gurls. EXPLODE.

    DONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOPDONTSTOP

  11. can someone explain to me how steroids are illegal, but swapping out an elbow tendon with a bigger one from somewhere else in your body is encouraged?

    why not swap out your arms for legs and feet for hands? rearrangement = ok? natural reaction to internalized substance = not ok?

    i heard that everyone knew braun was clean, but he insisted on accepting a punishment without admitting anything, so he could cry at home about how bad garffito is doing.

  12. Some Kamala fun facts (via wikipedia. of course)

    After losing to The Undertaker in the first televised Coffin match at the 1992 Survivor Series, Kamala turned face, taking the newly ordained Reverend Slick as his manager] Slick set out to “humanize” Kamala, by such means as teaching him to bowl (in a segment taped for Coliseum Video).

    He has dabbled in a singing career, releasing his debut album, The Best of Kamala Vol 1 through his official website. The album features a ballad, dedicated to the memory of Stanley “Tookie” Williams.

  13. i’m watching the 1970 version of the aristo cats on trubbbbbbbbbs…. for the 3rd night in a row.

    walt’s understated antisemitism carries me through.

  14. Do you want to maybe do the December gambo trip at Cantaburrrry instead of Dubuque?

    We could do a night in the scum bag hotel outside the track and then maybe do a Packer party at your place on Sunday.

    #invitemyselfover

  15. hell yes i want to go to canterbury. i went to turtle lake this past weekend. it sucked. i barfed all over a yukon on the way home. it would seem i’m allergic to bar cherries. everyone says not to eat bar garnishes… i think i might go with everyone in the future.

  16. after my success with the theatre seating around the aquarium, i might build some theatre seating in the trubbbbbbbroom, and move the whazz into the other room, but maybe not. i like it in there, but everyone complains there isn’t enough seating.

    football you can just watch in reverse on the porn bed, though…

    everyone needs to see a packer game on trubbbbbbbbs. it will change your life.

    #DEMANDYOUALLVISIT

  17. i’m not going to shave or trim my beard until the packers lose a football game.

    #GETONBOARD

  18. he wakes up AS a woman named sarah…. UGGGG. i just ate grandma.

    on a call with foreigners today, someone said that we needed upper management to “feed back on us”.

    #EATDIK

  19. NFL on trubbbbbbbbbbs. i’m guessing footballs will be thrown around, but that is just speculation. i can’t talk about it after 7:30pm because that would be an account of the game, and i don’t have written permission from the NFL or the NSA, so i can’t disseminate any such information without breaking a contract that was forced onto me without my acceptance and with shaky legal standing.

    any disseminations of accounts of this post are strictly forbidden. fuck america.

  20. i wanted to trade my shittiest player today, then i see BOPs is offering me TWO pretty decent guys for him…… WHAT IS GOING ON??? now i’m going to hang onto him…. BUT MAYBE THAT’S WHAT HE WANTS ME TO DO.

    fantasies are hard.

  21. I’ll hang tonight. It’s been forever and I need a night off.

    Jess and Evil are going to church. I’m home with Pi and parker and turtle.

  22. Who is your shittiest guy? Are you trying to trick me that bop is interested so I trade you jordy?

  23. shonne greene…

    fantasy make real people fake and fake people real, and all your friends becoming your your enemies, and everything around you becomes a conspiracy. IT’S FUN!

  24. You don’t deserve Jordy.

    Go worship your purple jesus.

    The #1 pick should have been Rodger dodger.

  25. I’m encouraging bryguy to start a new recruitment campaign called “cum to college.” We might have some funds to hire the nasty bros. to play Pittsville high school.

    Tell Josh to ready his little snare drum.

  26. I had students fill out a worksheet in class today. I was all alone in the front of the quiet classroom and I started to laugh because I had this mental image:

    Picture the Chun Li level of Street Fighter 2. Cal crosses the street in front of a rickshaw man pulling a cartfull of peaches. Cal gives his San Francisco-stop-I’m-crossing-the-road wave.

    CRASH

    After the accident cal’s eyes go all buggy like when an anime kid gets bonked on the head on adult swim and he says “My name in Sara” but with a Chinese accent.

  27. i think i figured out how chaw works.
    (said the man who has been chawin since i woke up)

    no time to type it here. also, russian spies. this is high level clearance shit. if people knew…. oh boy. all i can say is, thanks, obama.

  28. i’m watching the fantasy pregame and my dik is hard… should i call my doctor?

    #GAYFORFANTASY

  29. every fucking NBC cutaway says “COUNTDOWN TO KICKOFF” and it has a timer counting down in giant letters from 40 seconds….

    YOU FUCKERS. there are over 30 minutes left. WHY DO YOU KEEP DOING THIS TO ME? YOU’RE KILLING ME.

    TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT. TORT.

  30. very pissed at finishing my whazz project. i NEED a gaming project. i just bought 2 of these because i NEED them. now, i have overwhelming desire to own a 3 steering version of OFF ROAD like this one

    UGGGGGG.

    #NEVERSATISIFIED

  31. oooooooo I would play OFF ROAD! I could never hang with MORTAL KOMBAT :( too many buttons and combos. I just mashed on the buttons :( same with street fighter. In other news I was listening to our local hip-hop radio station KMEL (kay-yam-eeal) and the rapper referenced sub-zero and I was onto that shit. I AM RELEVANT. i wish i could watch the football on the trubbs. We’re coming up on the end of the fantasy baseball season which cuts my entertainment in half, homie.

    la. de. da.

  32. maybe my new project will be beating the new grand theft auto game.

    what do you mean “our local hip-hop station”?? i thought you were in bolivia. KMEL changed my life. day 1, i tuned my transistor radio into the modulated frequencies found at 106.1 MHz, where i was introduced to DRAGON STYLE by my main homie, RICK LEE. i called my friends back in wisconsin and told them how sucky their lives were back in shitty wisconsin where KMEL doesn’t exist. i also bought my own DRAGON STYLE technics 1200 turntables and played RICK LEE at home.

  33. Maddddddd had two great ideas yesterday.

    #1 cum@college
    #2 rent a limo to take us from his house to Cantaburrrrry.

  34. so we build the site, bootstrap it as a recruiting tool around wisconsin, horizontal scale that nationwide, then the world. then we cut the colleges out of the game and start offering our own classes. then we blow up the school and start a fight club.

  35. we could even play the “cum” off like it wasn’t intentional… curriculum unit management…. citizens for universal maturation…. cal’s unusual maternality…

  36. here’s a fun one…

    the judge’s ruling is a little BS… she can’t possibly know that if there were no individuals looking at child abuse images that there wouldn’t be any child abuse. maybe the child abusers that put the content out, do it compulsorily in thinking that it would stop other people from abusing children compulsorily. i don’t have any insight to either side, but to make such bold assumptions about either side while sitting on the bench in a court of law is tragic. the courts are filled with monkeys.

    also, i want to turn my house into the TNG bridge.

  37. without drug addicts, drugs wouldn’t exist…. sure thing, honey. you wear that robe great.

    #IDIOT

  38. my tivo just recorded ST:TNG “rascals” on BBCA… probably that d00d’s favorite episode.

  39. bowling was invented by a brother i suspect
    cause you throw a black ball
    at some white pins
    with red necks…

    YA HEARD?

  40. i can’t even read your shit. i broke my whazz machine again. BOOM. the subconscious is powerful.

  41. there were still a couple bolts on the back side of the machine that would give a little buzz if you touched them… no one really ever would, but i researched a ton and most people just ground those… so i went to menards, bought some grounding cables and hooked it up…. great, now the bolts don’t shock me… but the image is all fucked up. pretty much as expected, as doing anything with anything fucks them image up and you have to readjust all the dials and get zapped while you do it. so i get zapped a bunch and decide that i can’t fix this interference coming from the ground (probably why it wasn’t grounded to begin with)… so i remove the ground and turn the machine on… nothing. i turn it off and hook the ground back up… it works again, but the image is all wavy again. FUCK IT, I’LL DO IT LIVE… i pull the ground off while it’s still plugged in an turned on. BOOM. now i can’t get it back on at all. fuck a duck. i said i quit, then i didn’t. i fucking favred my whazz cocktail to death.

    i’m HOPING that i just let it sit and calm down, and tomorrow i’ll make it a nice breakfast and we can patch things up. PATCH was an electriCAL pun, YOU JERKS()*&#!%^&)*(!#^&*()!^#&*()!^#)&*(!^#)(*^!#)*&(!^!^#

  42. i am so fucking dum. i said i wouldn’t touch it. too dangerous. WHAT WAS I THINKING?)(*&!%#)&*(!%#)&*(!#%)&*(!%#(&*!%#*(&!%#&(*!%#*&()!%#

  43. fuck CRTs. i’m sick of buying $100 video chassis and yoke heads and getting electrocuted every time i try to do anything. i found an LCD that is specifically made for gaming and industrial applications and supposedly has a full 180 degree view angle from every direction. i really hate breaking the PURE electronics angle of the entire cabinet, but the game is still pure otherwise, and video response doesn’t play into the game at all.

    i also found a place that does custom tempered glass… $100 shipped for a new top. might as well replace that too.

    at this point i have enough spare parts to build an entire new game… just need a power supply. i even have a 2k board sitting around… maybe i’ll start from scratch and build a brand new cabinet from scratch.

  44. yeah, already called him in. he said i need an isolation transformer. fuck all that. i’m going LCD.

    pretty sure i broke my machine just so i had an excuse to HOLLLLLLLLLER.

    so, when i originally electrocuted myself, i bought an LCD that was sold as an arcade replacement. it think it was ~$200. the view angle was shit, and it wouldn’t work in a cocktail cabinet. can’t return shit like that. then, a new video chassis $100… couldn’t get it working, so i bought an entire new CRT ~$300… BOOM, bought another video chassis $100, eventually got it working PRETTY FUCKING GOOD, but one of the exterior bolts would still give a small shock. sorta fun. so i try to get things PERFECT, and BOOM. time to just junk everything and try a different $200 LCD that says it works perfect in cocktail cabinets. at the original time, YEARS AGO, everyone said to never use an LCD for a cocktail cabinet, but now i see tons of guys using them… you just need the special ones with the wide view angles. i’m not sure if i’ll miss the 20,000 volt hum and shower of x-ray radiation coming off the old CRT…

    if the LCD looks good at all, then i’ll buy the new $100 custom tempered glass, then get a new control panel overlay… not sure if i’ll go plain green, graphic grass, flat black, woodgrain… who knows.

    if the LCD works, building cocktail cabinets just got super easy.
    $25 power supply
    $15 JAMMA harness
    $50-100 used golden tee 99 or 2k or classic PCB
    $199 LCD
    $30 monitor bezel (optional)
    $20 power switches / power cable / grounding mounts
    $10 fan
    $10 speaker
    $15 amplifier
    $100 wood
    $30 hinges, cabinet feet, screws, bolts
    $10 t-molding

    this dude took everything you need to run a MAME cabinet using JAMMA and VGA and put it on a single card that uses a removable SD card for games so fucking tite. he’s charging $325 though. without that, you need way over $325 worth of a shit, and it’s a giant headache, so it’s really worth that, but the cost to him is probably like $10 a unit. recouping R&D like a BOSS. so use that instead of the golden tee PCB and you can play any A2K arcade game ever made.

  45. damn… that’s like $900 for a brand new golden tee cocktail from scratch. maybe not so cheap. you could always buy any used broken cocktail for cheap and convert it

  46. BOP really fucked me. i kept shonnnn sucko on my team because he offered up to very decent guys for him. i keep hartline on the bench and he blows up, and shonnnn picks up 1 god damn point. AS EXPECTED.

    i’m getting swindled from every direction. conspiracy to make thursday night not count… “lets have a vote”… yeah… 2 guys both get 50 points and 10 fuckheads have to play against them. i wonder who would win that vote. I’M GETTING RAILROADED AND DECEIVED. SHONNN IS BUTTTTTT.

    )(&!#%)7(!#%^*&(^%!#*()&!^#)(*!^#)*(!#^

  47. i think i figured it out… he knew i couldn’t take the trade… shoone was my only shit guy… so i’d have to drop someone good, and he would sweep them up off waivers. PLUS he wanted me to overvalue him and keep him starting. so smart. my bench guy got GREAT points. i won’t let this happen again. i am going to send BOP an angry letter.

  48. It’s wwhazz live on the belly phone!

    I think you’re over thinking the big ol pimp trade offer. His draft was graded c-, bro.

    The trade vote tied at one to one. So I think you are probably safe. Probably. I think most didn’t vote because they knew I really couldn’t change it. I just wanted to get you worked up.

  49. How is aj? An angry whazzmaster signed off from the hangout by saying “my kid is bleeding. I gotta go. “

  50. i’ll concede week 1 early to you if you promise to address any group of individuals with “hello racefans” until end of week 2…

    professional groups and personal groups. every class.

  51. i’ll be very happy in week 2 to be able to cheer for jordy.

    me and rach-o were worried about cheering for that purple bastard… she says, “we’ll just hope he scores a lot, but they lose”….. “yeah right”, i reTORT. and BOOM. AS ORDERED. thanks, obama.

  52. She is a fantasy football version of the Wizard. You, my friend, are either Fred Savage or Spanky or the girl.

  53. Spanky is Frank McRae. He had a nice run. Rocy to Trapper John MD. From IMDB:

    African-American former NFL player, with plenty of height and built like an ox, has scored over 40 film appearances predominantly as tough thugs, authority figures or even successful comedy roles.

  54. Bond, 48 hours, Magnum PI… hell of a list.

    One time my friend’s little brother told me that the PI stood for Pussy Itcher. He also told me that women had dicks but you could not see them becuase they were covered by bush. His exact words were, “a cunt is a hairy dick.”

    #mombush.com

  55. UGGG. new LCD is in… it’s marginally better than my last one, but no where near “viewable from ANY angle”… well, actually, i can view it… i can view that it sucks.

    i probably found a similar review 2 years ago and thats why i didn’t buy it.

    maybe i just use it and say FUCK IT. either that, or i’m not sure what i blew up last time… the video chassis or the monitor itself.

    ROLL YOUR OWN. you can’t trust anyone. especially BOP or people from HONG KONG.

  56. Yadier Molina is not with the Cardinals on Wednesday night due to a private family situation.

    The Cardinals aren’t providing any further details. Tony Cruz will start Wednesday against the Brewers.

  57. Yadier Molina was absent Wednesday because his mother needed surgery at a St. Louis hospital.

    Advice: Molina didn’t have to leave town and could return to the Cardinals’ lineup on Thursday night against the Brewers. Yadi’s brother Bengie — the Cardinals’ assistant hitting coach — was also given Wednesday off. Tony Cruz started behind the plate in the win over Milwaukee.

    #NEPOTISM

  58. the “advise” for half of my fooball players ends with something like “you shouldn’t even be reading this… this guy sucks… you’re dum if you have him”

    #UGGGGGGGGGG

  59. Do not listen to the opinion of those rotoworld assholes. The player tab was previously reserved for news about playing time, arrests, and injuries. The little bitch who writes them has, over time, added more and more opinion and jokes. It really pisses me off.

    They talked madddd shit on Edelman last week and he has a 100 and 2 td… on my bench. Granted, he wasn’t going to play over JORDY no matter what. But I still didn’t like them disrespecting one of my prized late round Millennium Falcon chessmen. They also talked shit about my kicker… a blurb about his ankle and then some smack about the Raiders sucking and how they would not even sniff the endzone so don’t even expect an extra point out of him. I actually listened about the kicker and it cost me like teaching someone the five iron trick. I would have beaten you if I had left me kicker alone and ignored.

    They also do stupid shit like tell you to try and shop certain players or try and target certain players in a trade. Hey, great idea. Put a big red note on a player and then tell me to try and trade him to an idiot. Wouldn’t the idiot see the big red note that says TRADE ME TO AN IDIOT?

  60. yeah, i was looking through the shit heap sorted by points earned last week… all the guys with a ton of points had comments like “all of these points were earned while the other team was up by 2 scores and running a prevent defense in the 4th quarter, so don’t expect a quality stats line”

    uh…. if he plays for a team that is constantly losing in the 4th quarter, why shouldn’t i expect similar results? so dum.

  61. i just bought an “isolation transformer” to rewire the power in my cabinet and keep the power to the monitor isolated from the rest of the game. i also bought another $100 video chassis… i guess i’m trying to fix the CRT again. ZAPZAPZAP.

    also bought a golden tee classic JAMMA board. now i have the complete set. i just need to get the stupid thing working.

    i am going to make it PERFECT. anything less and i’ll blow it up and start over.

    i’m getting quotes from a guy to do custom control panel overlays… that will be another $100.

    i could buy a car and drive to an arcade and pay $5 a round for the rest of my life and not spend as much as i have. i’m so dum.

  62. the new “the ultimate fighter” with 8 guys and 8 girls in the house is also #DUM

    weight classes are dum. “ultimate” leaves no room for lessor classification.

    also, dana white is gay for d00ds.

  63. Brian texts me: trade me jordy

    I tell him: Mogwai not for sale

    He texts back:

    MJD?
    MJD and my kicker?

    I say: Mogwai not for sale

    Then he goes full Ted DiBiase: every man has a price

    Mogwai not for sale

    He says: be real, bro.

    I think about it and say: kill scientist

  64. bro, i’ll see you again week 9. you know the deal… I’ll hold on to the win. if you want it back, you can trade me for it, or try to play double or nothing tomorrow.

    #WORM

  65. I got a hit out on you, bro. I know you got guns. That’s fine. My dude has a bow and arrow. Check your trees for tree stands. If you see a big pile of Hardees in your backyard it might be bait.

  66. Can I sue fandule? They keep sending me invites to play in their $250 one-night daily MLB tournament. First is $555,555.

    Is this leading the witness? Hearsay? Haebeus Corpus? Vladimir Poontang?

  67. fanduel is going to go belly up just like all the rest… MLB has a giant cheating scandal on it’s hands. as someone that lost money at fanduel, don’t i have reason to expect to get my money back because the games were determined to be played under illegal circumstances?

    oh, right… lawyers are idiots and MLB wrote the constitution.

    THANKS, OBAMA

  68. Ok, I’m in. I borrowed from the roto prize pool. I can still win that thing, right? Plus, isn’t that what big corporations do, pay the guy at the top and rob the rest? I’m the commish, who is higher than the commish? Goddamned B-rad?

  69. 1) missed our humble host last night :( stupid phone off.

    2) got offered a (paid) job at the court as a clerk. gonna take it.

    3) singapore???

    4) ate peach pie yesterday like an idiot. was very afraid. did not die.

    5) most importantly: RIP Tupac Shakur, 17 years ago today.

  70. yo, cal… i have a patent in mind for a device to make it easy to adjust potentiometers soldered on circuit boards.

    i’ll give you a 50% stake in exchange for filing all patent forms and paying all submission fees.

    #SHARKTANK

  71. here is my question. the MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER dudes are doing a live show at the CAstro. like, they sit up front and make jokes. On a scale of 12 – 2000 how funny will this be/not be.

    it’s 30 bucks so there’s that too. I think i want to go.

  72. is it like a 25 year reunion 1 time thing, or are they starting a tour and GETTING THE GANG BACK TOGETHER

  73. #1. Do not enter into any biz agreement with scientist that involves electricity.
    #2. Too much breaking bad. I’m putting hits out on my friends and stealing from my roto league.
    #3. I never got into mystery science. But, I have a fun fact: the dude who has an office next to mine was college roommates w one of the guys. I think they had sex.

  74. OOOOOOOOOOH SHIT

    i did it again. find of the century. offer that d00d $150 and he’ll jump on it. he probably spent a ton on the monitor.

    it just needs a new video chassis. i’m basically a pro at this point.

  75. i was a giant fan, and then some point i had the existential realization that i wasn’t trapped on a spaceship and i wasn’t forced to watch be forced to watch movies, then i stopped, but i was always happy to flip channels and see they were still burnin’ film.

    #RUNON

  76. how does the points allowed thing work? i have 22 points, but he is only being penalized for “PA 14-20″…

    so, does that mean you just lose 2 points every time ANY points are allowed WHILE THE SCORE IS BETWEEN 14-20???

    somebody outsourced to india.

    #TOOMANYCLICKS(*^&#%!*(&!#^)&(*)(!#^

  77. i got spammed by yahoo the other day… their subject line and #1 selling point were “ONE LESS CLICK!”

    those mother fuckers are so click happy, that they think giving you a single click back on some stupid service that probably takes 150 clicks IS SOMETHING TO SPAM PEOPLE ABOUT.

    #WOMANCEO

  78. FUCK THE FED

    cal, could all the states secede at once? what do we need the fed for? currency and protection? the current goon squad just outsources both of those responsibilities, and they both serve to make a less stable currency and a target for terrorists.

    STATES RIGHTS. END THE USA NOW. ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA! ATTICA!

  79. Something similar happened with the H-town twister (uh, what’s a twister). Belly’s pa is the village prez and he had to tell all the local hillbillies with trucks and saws and other equipment to stop cleaning up their own town. FEMA (or some sort of gov agency… maybe something local) told them that if they didn’t stop they would be ineligible for any relief assistance.

  80. obama said that his richly toned brethren shooting up a navy cafeteria was “unimaginable”… the people we trust to protect us can’t even IMAGINE that one of the people that they give a gun to will turn around and shoot them with it.

    fucking idiots.

    #SECEDE

  81. CORRECTION: the people we are forced to trust at gunpoint and threat of imprisonment without trial

    thanks, obama. i trust you.

  82. i told rach-o to change the HWK… she says “she doesn’t smell like poop, she smells like farts.”

    i don’t think she knows how the butt works.

  83. the DC naval yard story is a false flag viral promotion by navy federal credit union

    #WAKEUPPEOPLE()&*#%!)&*(!%&)*(!%#)*(&

  84. somebody squatted on RAGINGASSHOLE.COM)*&#^)(&*!%)&*(!^#)&(!#^)*(&!#^

    FUCKERS(&*#!^%&()*!#^&*(!%#^(&*!#^&*()!#^)&(*

  85. Things quickly went downhill, however, as Dobson muffed no fewer than four of his proceeding nine targets, and generally looked like he had no idea what was going on.

    #GENERALLY

  86. stupid washington shooter screwed up my fantasy team… i benched justin upton because the game was postponed, but they’re playing a double header today and it started before i could set my lineup.

    THANKS, OBAMA

  87. My team sucks. And yahoo sucks. They tell me Rice and Gronkwhatever are both going to put up lots of points but that neither one is going to play. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s #impossible

  88. i had starks as my #1 waiver pickup… some #JERK sniped him. OH, IT WAS YOU!)#%(*&&(*!^#&)*(!#^)&(*!^)&(*!^#

  89. i don’t have any packers… my normal packers mindset is caveman simple: #JORDY. every play. quick slant…. 1st down… 7 points… WINNING. playing against wwwwwwwzzzzzzzz with jordy on his team completely ruined the game for me. i was numb. i need a packer. jermichael…. cobb… starks… i’m in the market for them all. MOGWAI NOT FOR SALE. UGGGGGGGGG.

  90. so, “gwai” or “gui” means spirit, but modern chinamen infer evil. at an old job, my next door cube mate used to call me “bokgwai”… “bok” = white. so i was like the evil white demon that likes to fuck in the rain.

    #BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN

  91. finally realized why i haven’t been catching the latest “sunny” and “league”…. it isn’t on FX anymore… it’s on FXX…. fucking obscure cable channel banked enough cash to start a 2nd channel and demand cable companies pick it up in addition to FXNOEXTRAX. then, move all your new shows there, keep the re-runs on the old channel.

    seriously, cal. someone needs to sue.

  92. Sorry, white devil-man. You need to get out of the rain. FX is now FXX. Soon it will be FXXX and you will behold Charlie’s pecker in HD.

  93. I’m about to get out of the cable game. I started a book reader and now I have $180 cable/internet bill. I’m happy to watch the packers on the digital free tv and watch sunny and all that BS a year later when it cums out on DVD.

    That’s a lot of bukkkake cards.

  94. Last time to called to downgrade my package the fuckers pulled a switchero and dropped my bill to $153 and ADDED three more pay stations. So now I have Showtime, skinamax and stars.

    And I pretty much watch Dexter and that’s it. Even that is DVR’d and watched 7-14 days after it airs.

    In the olden days I just called Maddd and he put it on trubbs for me via the old crab tank video feed. I think I need to go back to that life.

    #lefty2014

  95. FX is still FX… it just doesn’t have any of the shows that made FX worthwhile… now there is FX AND FXX. WHY?! it’s extortion on a class action scale. all these lazy lawyers sitting around letting this happen REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS.

  96. the new ultimate fighter is just a bunch of gurls crying about what people say about them on twitter.

    #FUCKEVERYTHING

  97. overheard during this weeks fight:
    THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR EATING BISCUITS FOR BREAKFAST!!@#%@#^@$^@#!^#^!@

    why so much biscuit hate?

  98. i spent my morning posting my disapproval of FXX to all of the shows public message boards. i can ruin shit better than they can ruin shit. fuck the courts. real justice is done IN THE STREETS.

    #CALSUCKS

  99. also, what the fuck, packer pro shop…. i want to buy a jordy jersey and have the name say “#JORDY”… they say “Please enter letters, numbers, periods, spaces, hyphens or apostrophes only.”

    WHY? i can have a . or – or ‘ but not a #? WHY??????

    you lost a sale, and now i’m going to pee on your stadium.

    STUPIDITY HAS CONSEQUENCES.

    #STREETJUSTICE

  100. so… this new movie “runner runner”… benji efffflick and jeremy timberlodge in a poker movie. ben can’t just let matt and ed be happy. will it be good? i’m not convinced it won’t be.

    #LOGINWITHDISQUS

  101. So some company (some shitty, shitty internet company) listed Belly’s cell as the contact for some investment firm. So she keeps getting cals.

    I emailed (no response) and chatted to a droid in the chat (not helpful) and I left phone messages (prob to china).

    Can I sue?

  102. Ok, the chat droid said they can probably change it in 10 business days… I can sue, right!??!?!

    Fucking cal, help.

  103. fuck the courts. #STREETJUSTICE. answer the calls. act like an asshole. tell them to fuck themselves. after the complaints and better business bureau reports start flooding in to the company that was supposed to get the calls, i guarantee the number is fixed well before 10 days.

  104. Bradshaw is a pure bench option, and an end-of-roster one at that. The dream is over.

    #WORLDOFROTOCRAFT

  105. yeah, i got lost in that rabbit hole going through everything. i want something really really bad. but i must expect so does everyone else… a few of the $100 items would be more than enough, but if i would pay $100, there must be 10 guys that would pay $1000.

    i saw the aztek was starting at $1000, but the bell started at 3500. i really wanted that bell. uggg.

  106. how about this story, cal

    300 teens trash NFL players home while he is away… they post their pictures in the public domain on a 3rd party site (twitter)… he takes the pictures and reposts them asking for people to identify the criminals… the parents of the criminals then sue him.

    this is the legal system that has you chained to a slave clerk job. drop your briefcase and pick up your whittle knife. it’s time to MAKE A CHANGE

    #STREETJUSTICE

  107. I busted a tooth and had to get a retainer. It’s basically a plastic grill. Still, I feel bad ass every time I put it in. If I can come in to a major payday I’m getting it done right: copper.

  108. I’d like one of hanks rocks. Or that Los pollos air freshener. Or the baby seat.

    I’m all about style plus utility. See: grill.

  109. i don’t want anything to do with hanks rocks… that was like the 1 thing i saw as garbage… IN AN AUCTION THAT WAS SELLING USED MENS UNDERWEAR.

    i have a rock collection i’ve had since a trip to the museum in 1st grade… i looked at it a few months ago, and i saw that i have like 5 different kinds of agate… each with a polished and unpolished sample.

    #BALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIN

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>