The Miraculous Mister Bumpaddle

puts "Hello World"

So, er, what’s happenin’ with y’all? I’ve just been coding my ass off lately; last weekend I was in IL for a wedding and managed to code up an initial version of a home page for our local Ruby meetup. And since I was moved off of the desktop team and started doing web development full-time at work I’ve been rampaging across a code base, refactoring and improving things every day. It’s pretty energizing!

In the background, shit’s been busy as hell since July, er, April I guess. I feel like we’re emerging from an every-weekend-going-somewhere-or-someone-coming-by… case in point: today I deep-cleaned my kitchen for the first time in, well, ever. There was lots of gross stuff, and I may have gone overboard on usage of CLR but I’m much happier with the result. Tomorrow morning: try to do something about the nightmare that is my backyard.

Go Packers.

162 thoughts on “The Miraculous Mister Bumpaddle

  1. Football doesn’t matter now, guys. Jermichael got hurt and his agent says so… via twitter.

    Those other days, when, you know, LT is having sex with 14 year old hookers and Hernandez is killing, football still matters. Same with other days when there is war and other petty shit.

  2. a lady on “the price is right” today won a car…. just like she did 20 years ago. i hate her. i hate myself for hating her, BUT I STILL HATE HER.


  3. rach-o got really sad for Jerry Fins… the cheers from the week 9 conference room in my brain were a little deafening, but i consoled her.

  4. “hey guys, can you please shut the fuck up… a MAN is DOWN”…



  5. yesterday: cheered for the bears
    today: prayed for the vikings


  6. I agree that FF makes things emotionally complicated Thursday, Sunday & Monday, but you really made it way harder on yourself by drafting Peterson & Marshall. Sure, you’re doing great in the league, but at what cost? You’re looking at a lifetime of PTSD. And what are you doing to your family? You totally forgot to put your kiddo in Packer gear, putting the game in serious jeopardy. You should probably consider tanking the rest of the season and getting your head on straight.

  7. during last weeks game when boinky was sucking so hard, i offered 20:1 that he would get a touchdown to end the current drive in the 3rd quarter. i was way drunk, but i was very sure it would happen. i got 1 taker for $1, and put my twank on the table, when my accounting staff started yelling at me. “BRO… I GOT THIS. go back to your cubicles.”… but i still felt regret. the pack drove down the field, around the 15 yard line i was counting my sure profit ($1… it was easy. i did it a few times)…. boinky was wide open in the end zone, and cussionhead didn’t trust him and basically threw the ball away.


  8. as the contractor was finishing installing my sink downstairs, he told me, “i just have to install the P-trap”

    i asked him, “now, is that going to trap ALL the pee?”


  9. peapods… i am in no way hateful towards your recent pure-hearted FF acquisitions and success. i’m very happy. i’m having a great week just knowing the possibility of the pure happiness your situation makes available.

    are the magwai for sale?


  10. cal… guess what domain i just bought? i have a business plan all set up that starts with you taking in cash for anonymous opinion tied to personal buying patterns, and ends with an 8 figure check from an affluent californian body.


  11. i haven’t looked into this yet, but i was expecting a live show from jeeeeneene gerfalafalo tonight on AXS… gotham live… instead i got judah reruns……………. why? was jeeeeneeeeneneneneee having hot flashes because she found out her great grand daughter died of old age?

    haha. she’s old.

  12. i started from the BACK ROOM of the BOTTOM of the Q. mixing ROOT BEER with a POWER DRILL.

    fucking LIBERAL MEDIA LAWYERS don’t even let restaurants have basements anymore. i’m from a BOTTOM that DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE*)&!#%&*)(!#*&()%)!*(&#%&*)!#%(*&!#)%&&()!#%)&*(!#%)&*(!#%)&*

    now we here………………….. so hard to not drop bombs here. i know it makes jen h sad.

    even here.

    ok, i wont.

  13. here is the plan… CAL DECIDES. dot com. i post interesting legal cases at bar in america, or hypothetical legal cases. cal anonymously writes his opinion including references to products available for purchase at those products are linked to using an affiliate account… someone elses account, so it can’t be traced to us. those people pay cash to us for the link placements. money money money. eventually people are coming to cal for everything. cal decides is an influencer that can alter the results of elections. an american election? cal decides. literally, figuratively…. we sell out. move to france.

  14. RE: tampa bay fans booing their own team at home throughout the entire game…

    does the booing serve in any way to help anything? could it hurt? is it a self fulfilling prophecy of SUK? would new coaches even help?


  15. not sure if belly and pods are cheering for our success or cheering for me to leave the country…… either way, #IGETPAID

  16. sell drugs 1500 feet from a school to someone that wants them: WORSE THAN A FELONY
    GIVE drugs to a STUDENT WHO DIDNT ASK for them, INSIDE a school, then sic a drug dog on them: here is a giant taxpayer funded retirement package, enjoy your $80,000 a year starting salary job as a donut eater.

    uggg. why do i read?


  17. i fucking lost to taco.

    before the game, briguy says, “i don’t even care… next year i’m going to throw $100 in the river instead”


  18. also, on that fucking golden shower taint play… he taunts in the middle of a run, he gets flagged, but they let the play stand.


    you broke the rules. BRING IT BACK. how many times does that fucking guy get to have the refs hand him a touchdown he didn’t earn???!#%()*&)&*(!#%&*()!#%^


  19. the 2006 BBC comedy series SNUFF BOX cheered up my JORDY BLUES. only 6 episodes… i long for more.


    and…. cal?

  20. I thought Spite Bowl 2013 was this week. Ooooeeeee!

    Then the Great Kaaleesh went and pulled the $100 bill on a string/river trick. He was way happy texting me his joy at 5:50 am on Tuesday morning. Your team = the dude in breaking bad from Mike’s crew who got shived 100 times in prison.

    I’m shocked you burned your waiver on Stills. Never pay full price for a career day.


  21. burned my waiver?? i don’t know how this shit works. i needed someone immediately… how else do i get them??

  22. from rotoworld, the foremost authority in FACTS:

    Stills is the definition of boom-or-bust.


  23. It’s the spite bowl, bro:

    Sorry, but the waiver request you made in foo ball has been denied.

    Player Dropped: Quarless, Andrew
    Player Added : Stills, Kenny

    This happened for the following reason:

    There was another manager with a higher waiver priority requesting the player.

  24. i’m back on appleses nutsack after years of hate. get the ipad. the thing just works real good. comes to life quickly, plays movies, does Skype. is highly portable. it does everything she will need it to do. i was hating on our ipad but eventually came around.

    sucks to type on though. you can get one of those bluetooth keyboards if she’s going to be typing with it. not sure about the mini or what the cost is etc but my bet is it’s the best deal going… SO SPEAKITH CAL

  25. Ok, cool. Our family suckles from the apple teet so I figured we would just go that way. I’m trying to get off it and join the haters.

  26. if you want a bigger screen, i like this one…

    if she doesn’t want a tablet and instead wants more of a laptop thing, the macbook air is cool. i’d suck on those balls. for a while. i’d let it shoot on my face, but i couldn’t stop sucking. so tasty.

    or you could go chromebook… they are the best selling laptops in the world lately. if she has limited needs (email, web, video calls, simple document editing) but she doesn’t care about touch screen and would rather have a real keyboard, and save $1,000 over a macbook air, then get one of those.

    enjoy your shoes, JERK()&*!#%)&*(!#^

  27. video porn? asians? lezbos? is she fine with a general sense of a dik going in a juicy hole, or does she need to see the juice to get a gurlboner?

    will she be making her own porn for emailing? videos? asians? lezbos?

    I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR LACE SITUATION@^(*&!#^)&*(!#^)&*(!^#

    does she have wide feet? wide vag?

  28. Thnks jerks.
    I have wide short feet and a bunion. I’m going hiking-the weather is hot and dry. I’ll prob watch some princess porn.

  29. I need it for email, Internet, viewing and note taking on a 572 page syllabus for a conference, accessing epic to do patient care notes, orders, view lab results while in meetings.

  30. ok… so… this syllabus… what format is it in? is it a PDF? a word document? just some document on a website?

    how will you be taking notes? annotating directly in the document, or some separate program? are the notes something like, “this is the same as from section 28.b”, or is it many sentences that would be a pain to type out?

    the galaxy note has a stylus that makes for super easy handwriting note taking.

    does accessing epic require an app to be installed, or is that a web service?

    what do the other people in the meeting use? could you just get your employers to give you something to use?

    is taking notes on patients into your own internet accessible device even legal? should it be? maybe cal needs to chime in… i know he has a wide vag.


  31. *pain to type out ON A TOUCHSCREEN….

    if you’re going to be doing lots of typing, get a keyboard. that chromebook is selling like crazy and everyone likes it.

    $1,000 apple tax for the macbook air is justifiable in some sick, ball suck fetish sort of way, but if you’re just doing email and watching youtube and doing video chats/flashdance, and viewing documents and creating simple documents like on google drive that mimics microsoft word pretty well, it will be perfect.

    my parents bought a microsoft surface. i don’t know why, they’ll probably die. it has the keyboard and full support for the enterprise document formats that friendly politiCAL lobbyists have forced upon the healthcare industry. it’s much heavier than an ipad (like 3-4x as heavy)… the battery lasts way less… not because it has a smaller battery, but because microsoft software is junk and does 20,000,000 things it doesn’t have to do just to support the one way they used to do it 20 years ago. so it will probably get hot much easier.

  32. you can always get cases for the tablets that include bluetooth wireless detachable keyboards in a protective case that holds everything together….

    here is just a dock, but it might be awkward to carry around to meetings… it doesn’t look like it comes with a case

    here’s a cheaper all in one thing…

    but going with the note 10.1 and that case/keyboard, you’re up to around $600. the chromebook is less than half that… but with the note you get a detachable tablet when you just want that, and a touchscreen with a stylus.

  33. PDF for the syllabus-short notes most likely. Any recs for apps to do this on nexus 7? There might be an epic app but I usually get there via the Internet-there’s a Citrix gateway thing and a million places for passwords.
    Thanks for the assistance. I’m happy to help u pick out ur next pair of shoes.

  34. yes, there are really great note taking apps on android. you’ll find one in the google play store. they are all free.

    also, #FUCKCHINA

    why do we have all these nuclear bombs if we aren’t going to use them when a chinese teacher orders a student to jump off the school to his death, AND HE DOES?


  35. apple and microsoft just teamed up to spend 4.5 BILLION of your shiny ball sucking dollars on a patent portfolio of a company that went belly up. they are going to use the patents to try and shut google down (and all their nice, affordable products and services).

    THANKS APPLE AND MICROSOFT! but better still, THANK YOU, AMERICA!!!! this is exactly how patents should work. they should be bought and sold as commodities and used to stifle competition rather than protect innovation.

    oh, and cal sucks.

  36. Rick from Kelley’s Sportscards warned me and Wirkus way back in 91 that the market was saturated. Also, I am pretty convinced Rick is now Rick of Rick’s Olde Gold. Watch the commercial.


  37. i am serious considering getting all my money converted to precious metals.

    i see local guys on craigslist trying to sell their shit… like giant $20,000 blocks of silver…

    1st thought) rob that guy
    2nd thought) it’s probably just a scam
    3rd thought) no way, that shit is real
    4th thought) cal sucks
    5th thought) PUT MORE CHAW IN YOUR FACE


  38. son of a bitch. i just realized that i NEEDED those minikins and went back to buy them, and NOW THEY ARE SOLD)*(&#%!&*()!#%)&*(!#^

    you fucking jerks. i know one of you bought them. hopefully early christmas shopping for your ol’ pal scientist.

  39. also just found out that similar to the UK re-release of series 1, the US is doing something similar… now they have “Garbage Pail Kids CHROME”… it’s just a reprint of all the series 1 cards. way smarter than churning out new garbage, but devalues the existing brand.


  40. one family came by trick or treating last night… 3 kids… rach-o offered up the candies, and then the parents were like, “no… we want canned goods”.

    rach-o gave them my vegetable beef that i was going to have for lunch today, and my cans of baby corn and water chestnuts for a TBD stir fry(*!#%*()&!#^)&(*!#^()*!#%*()!#^)*(&!#^

    the balls on some people.

  41. all 3 of those GPK minikin sets sold for $29.99 within the hour… there are a bunch of other guys selling the complete painted sets for $36.99+… i smell investment.

  42. so, i’ll take back my accusation that you JERKS bought those out from under me. the market is hot.

    rick just got too complacent in his offerings and couldn’t adapt. gold is a much better place for him, but he’s still a jerk. middlemen are jerks. go buy some shoes, asshat. ripping kids off for a 10 stripe joe flacco rookie… GET A REAL JOB.

  43. LAX officials:

    Officials said the authorities now have full control of security at LAX.

    heartless asshole:

    did they have full control of security earlier today before Paul Ciancia decided enough was enough?


    i’m a heartless asshole

    long dead man with long dead understandings of humanity:

    I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.

    cal is my only hope.

  44. i’m not saying is mobbed up…. but here are facts:

    1) from new york
    2) cheaper than anywhere else
    3) free shipping, no tax

    i just saw that for the apple stuff you have to call in rather than buy online… very weird. i’ve bought from there a bunch and never had to do that.

  45. iPad mini features a beautiful 7.9-inch display, iSight and FaceTime cameras, the A5 chip, ultrafast wireless, and up to 10 hours of Battery life. And over 275,000 APPS on the App Store made for iPad also work with iPad mini. So it’s an iPad in every way, shape, and slightly smaller form.


  46. ok…. serious this time. BIZNISSS.

    we build a gold dredge robot and set it loose in alaska.

    we use the proceeds to pay off the person that finds the puck this year… $50,000 to give it to us instead. we get the fame.

  47. i’m guessing the JR call us to order might be a ploy to get around all the new laws… amazon lobbied for the laws to be exactly as they are… no federal law so they can still operate in states that might shun the federal law, but for states that do apply it, they are the only ones that have everything worked out to operate within the law. for wisco residents it’s a very very bad things because many online retailers are probably just going to shun wisconsin…. but at the same time, that sort of stuff is what i do for a living, so maybe they’ll just pay me to make their site comply with new amazon wisco laws.

    either way, all these corporations are teaming together to make laws to oppress everything but their profits. keep laying on your fancy sheets in your heated and insulated homes, playing with your apple toys. why would anyone care about the future when we get to play ANGRY BIRDS right NOW.

    i’m off to buy some more guns.

  48. i think the LAX airport shooting was a false flag to get attention away from the competition CRUSHING legislation that went into effect and will likely cut off millions of wisconsin residents from their favorite online retailers.


  49. masters of chefery: i come to you with an idea.

    scrambled eggs tempura.

    like mushroom batter… cook up the scrambled eggs… i’m thinking a little on the undercooked side to compensate for the frying, but maybe overcooked would work better… i’ll probably try both and one in between cooked normal before dipping and frying.

    probably serve with maple syrup.

    should cheese or sausage get involved? bacon? heart medication?

  50. Hoo hoooot- whazzing from the new iPad mini- we decided to keep up the teet suckling. Tanks for the help pals. Any recs on apps for annotating pdf’s? I annotate? Good reader? PDF pen?
    I’m off to tuscon tues night- wwhazz is in charge Of the circus- with some help from my sister. Anyone available to go out with him next sat? I’m sure he’ll be ready for a well deserved break.

  51. sorry about my current news spews… but the most gangsterish of shite just happened in town here…. 2 planes full of skydivers crashed into each other at 12,000 feet. the planes were shredded into basically nothing. EVERYONE SURVIVED.

    thanks, obama.

  52. I often get tricked when I order a roll that has egg in it because I forget tamago is eggs. So for your tempura keep the eggs easy greasy japanesy and go tamago. It’s dense and would hold up to a frying, I think.

    It would be good as is or with the sausage, kinda homemade hot pocket. Or ho-made.

  53. I’m thinking you can maybe go on the undercooked side if you let the eggs get cool before you dip them. Probably easier to handle, and frying should warm them back up. But letting them cool might just have the same effect as cooking them.

    I think some soft-boiled eggs surrounded by sausage and tempura would be good take on a scotch egg.

  54. The spite bowl is almost over. It’s Jordy -50 yards vs Brandon Marshall.

    Oneil and timmer are in their own spite bowl. Timmer might lose for the 2nd weekend in a row because of a 40 point receiver.

  55. We need to make a Dubuque decision.

    The SWEETS at Hotel Ricky and Juliann are sold out. We can pack the gang into a room with a king bed and a pull out sofa for the low, low price of $400. FUCK THAT.

    We can crawl back to the Canfield. I’m the only one who ever got sick. Why ruin the fun for you all? Plus, it was probably that shitty ass poke room anyway.

    We can look at suites at the Diamond Jo waterpark hotel. They have family packages that might work for our family.

    We can look around for suites at other hotels.

    We could go to chunk or poto.

    We could go to las vegas.

    We could have a sausage party at my house that weekend: whazz, poker, a day trip to chunk for dice, a nice dinner somewhere.

  56. st00pid me already ate breakfast. i’ll try this all tomorrow.

    i like the soft-boiled egg idea, but i don’t have 20 minutes to spend cooking, so i might try to do it in little single egg fry pan then crunch up some bacon and coat the egg in that before the batter.

  57. yeah, i was all over the google image search too… it seems there is a divide between those 1783 purist that think a scotch egg is baked, and modern visioneers who deep fry.

    poached then coated in sausage, then coated in batter and deep fried… tomorrow should be good.

  58. yahoo basically has us 50/50 and i agree. i’m not looking forward to this game at all.

    packers v bears at home on monday night, and i’m more concerned with my fantasy. ugg.

  59. what’s the etiquette for when we get around playoffs and someone with a shitty team with 1 great player? can they trade the player to someone in the playoffs? is shit about to get shady as hell? should i be in there moving and shaking? we can’t let the BOPs win. showtime? more like pooptime.

    just give me all your talent and i’ll bring the gold home.

  60. Hey, wassup, cal, you half honky piece of shit. I saw you on whazzmaster, you been clerking 10 weeks. I’ll fuck in you honky mouth. I’m gonna slap your fuckin mouth, I’m gonna slap your real mother across the face. fuck you, you’re still a rookie. I’ll kill you.

  61. and NFL player quitting the team because of bullying…. jesus christ. and the UFC is scheduling fights around lady periods. i remember when things were better.

    it’s hard to complain about anything when you’ve got a good concussion going LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO.

  62. russell wilson: “i went to the university of wisconsin… it was a blessing in disguise”

    uh… asshole… it was a blessing in a blessing. where is the disguise? you didn’t like the friendly people? the nurturing community? the endless streams of strange? maybe your 35 year old ass should have taken the year of eligibility you twisted out of the system and went to work AT A FOOT LOCKER.


  63. all morning long the media was saying “bullying” about the dolphins situation… obviously someone from the “stomp out bullying” advertisers union got in some people’s ears (more likely their wallets) and now everyone is saying “hazing” every other word.

    it’s bullying, you jerks. life is bullying. win or die. cal sucks.


  64. Trade deadline is November 22. Big money leagues don’t allow trading, do some other shit to prevent collusion.

    Here, it’s mainly me the commish and the rest of the league having a general sense of decency about it all. We don’t even vote on trades. It works itself out.

    One thing you did not think of yet is adding and dropping like crazy to put the free agent pool on waivers to cockblock on bye week. Do not ever do that, just play honest.

  65. seriously… within 5 seconds of posting that, brian billick says, “i think using words like ‘hazing’ and ‘bullying’ isnt right anymore”

    he then suggests that comparing it to “watergate” would be more appropriate.


  66. yeah, i don’t have the whole waiver things worked out, and i believe i’m being fed misinformation to confuse me, so i’ll have to figure it out on my own.

    do we have unlimited adds and drops? if not, why not? if i’m allowed to add and drop, what’s so bad about it? if waivers make it fair, then why isn’t it fair? everyone can still add/drop on wednesday morning…

    i especially don’t get you hating on taking stills on a waiver, but then posted your own rejected waiver for the same player…….. spite week is poison. abandon the well. #BOMBS

  67. yes i would do jordy for AP. i would do peyton + decker for jordy.

    is that not allowed? who would you start instead?

  68. There are no tricks to waivers. I’ll hang my wang and talk you through it. It is a little confusing.

    The stills hate.hate.hate was sour grapes.

  69. and so is offering up jordy… just dumb, but i’m not smart enough to see it as just dumb until it’s just too late.

    spite bowl 2013 mirrors the real packer v bears situation pretty well… and it’s a flip, and i have heavy interests on both side. this game is purely numbing to all my gambo senses. i’m going to try and be a packer fan, but my fandon is like 100% tied to jordy. he’s my dog.

    i’m cheering for peapods tonight… just to spite yahoo’s 0% chance. if lacy and boink each get 3 TDs, she could have a chance… and that also means jordy probably didn’t get any, so win win win. you lose, but it’s all you could do. I AM A CHAMPION.

  70. microsoft’s latest ad for the surface:

    the battery lasts and lasts

    lasts…. AND LASTS.

    it doesn’t JUST last… it ALSO LASTS.

    it lasts and lasts and lasts, and then there is nothing left and it dies.

    maybe when they said “lasts” and “lasts” they meant their rank in batter life vs other tablet computers

    LAST… and LAST.

    suck a dick, microsoft.

  71. it was a TREAT YO’SELF day all around…

    i geared up with the complete aaron rodgers retirement suit

    i’ll probably buy a mannequin to put the ol’ zubaz on display… pair with my air jordan 6s and a hypercolor shirt… ol’ greeny is getting burned. i’m waiting for a large snowfall, then i’ll have a bonfire ceremony in the backy

  72. It would be super cool if you used a real skeleton and the skeleton was that of Paul of Paul’s tavern fame.

  73. So Dungy and his crack team of experts sniffed out Incognito:

    “That next spring in 2005, Incognito declared for the NFL draft. Former Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy recently told Dan Patrick that his team red-flagged Incognito for character concerns and removed him from their draft board. So did former New England Patriots personnel boss Scott Pioli, who echoed similar sentiments on NBC Sunday night.”

    Was it the multiple arrests? The fact he was kicked out of Nebraska and Oregon? What tipped you off, old man? And the “echo” by the Patriots: US TOO US TOO WE KNEW IT TOO. Uh, duh, but murderers somehow slip past your surveillance?

  74. i’ll also accept bombs… bombs are better, but guns are so much fun, so i understand why so many justice makers take that route.

    remember, when the blue pigs cry for help, tell them that you know they are faking, while pissing up their nose.

  75. i heard a rumor that if wallace gets hurt in the game that #JORDY is the backup QB. i don’t like that.

    unless they run flea flicker #JORDY slants EVERY PLAY.


  76. did you know you can buy real human skeletons on ebay under “medical oddities”???

    but you can’t buy a nazi hat…

    you can buy a dead person and do whatever you want with it, but you can’t buy a hat with a certain symbol on it, because people that wore that symbol took people and did whatever they wanted with them.

    i feel dirty. i’m dropping this skeleton idea, even though it was GREAT.

  77. ebay’s policy even explicitly permits it… with one exception: you can’t sell native american bones. my bones aren’t as sacred as a native americans???! #FUCKOFF

    what about selling a holocaust victim’s bones? that’s ok with you ebay? do you know who else was in the business of holocaust victim’s bones?


  78. in fun whazz news: RE: craigslist guy selling that ’99 machine in town that had a bad monitor / no confirmation if game board worked…. he kept asking to buy mine… i finally gave him a price: 20 folds. he got snarky………… bad judgement.

    what happened next should be obvious…


  79. our last exchange:

    him: Your fucking stupid go away dumb ass and your blocked now daaa
    me: *you’re…. ur mum’s face is fucking stupid

  80. i still haven’t made my eggs… i’m all out of eggs.

    here is my plan: cook some sausage and back and crumble it… set aside. wisk the eggs and pour on a hot buttered griddle. fold in the sausage, maybe roll it in, so you’re left with little omelette rolls. take the tempura batter and put in a little maple syrup and the crumbled bacon. dunk the omelette rolls in there and fry. drink with scotch.

  81. the big bang theory is bullshit. before the bang, there would have to be a convergence of energy. suck before the blow.


  82. holy fuck… plasmacars are awesome. A++++++++++++ WOULD CHANGE FUNDAMENTAL STATE OF MATTER AGAIN.

    you need about the size of a basketball free throw lane (just lane? fuck you.) the surface needs to be hard as fuck and flat as fuck and smooth as fuck. my basement is poured cement, so it’s perfect. i’ve found myself taking plasmacar breaks quite often tonight.

    cal cal cal. cal cal cal. cal my booty.

  83. i made the eggs. they are everything i hoped for. thinking about starting a restaurant just to sell these.

    i made a super thin omelette in a giant pan, then cut up sausage super thin and rolled it up sushi style and put a toothpick through it. i cut up ham super dicey and fried it up, then added the ham bits to the batter…. dip and fry.

  84. one unexpected thing: the littles bites blew up like popcorn.

    the roll was hard to keep together… i’ll probably just go straight scrambled next time with little sausage bits in it. also, i’ll knock off some of the batter before frying, and put the cooked pieces on paper towel to soak up some of the oil. that should fix everything.

    i might start experimenting with a syrup nugget in the egg before dipping

  85. My new thing is killing mice. I got 3 so far.

    The little fuckers tipped their hand when one of them left a chewed up peanut butter cup behind the coffee maker. Now it’s war. Murder death kill.

    One crafty fuck chewed a hole in my bag of finch thistle and then brought it in the house and hid it in my turkey baster. I think he is the same one who can lick the peanut butter off the trap without triggering it. At first, I though the trap was malfunctioning and almost lost a finger. At this point in my life, I aint got fingers to spare. He’s gonna be the toughest target.

    Belly is back from AZ on Saturday and she wants to hire a pro. Tonight it ends before she gets home: glue traps at ever entrance. The kitchen filled with traps. I’ll sleep on the couch with a loaded bb gun. Dog, babies, watch your paws. She can add the exterminator funds to my dubuque roll.

  86. This has been a tough week as a solo dad. Besides caring for two kids, they are both sick. Little Evil with a butt rash and pi with a z104 fever. On top of that, vermin.

    On Saturday night I will drink like Noah after the ark hit land.

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