Someone Found That Goddamned Medallion? Good.

Each year I delight in your feverish, paranoid riddle-humping conspiracy theories but I can only stand them for so long. So an underpaid newspaper staffer hid a dirty puck in a pair of jeans with a terrible poop stain and that’s wholesome family entertainment that we’re all supposed to get behind? You’re a state of perverts and lunatics, Minnesota.

Hey look, that guy that kcar hates is being reported on by The AV Club. I’m not his biggest fan, but at least I don’t hate the guy!

Bitcoin is so yesterday. I turned my GPU into a DOGECOIN MINING RIG. TO THE MOON. SUCH DOGE.

79 thoughts on “Someone Found That Goddamned Medallion? Good.

  1. even no good mother fucking police hate the god damn no good mother fucking police.


  2. flickering dots on a screen showing sailing ships used to conquer a fictional place and collect fictional treasures while human contact is reduced to nil. wisconsin. we stay inside to play alone????

    I’M MINNESOTAN NOW, AND HATERS *STILL* GET DEALT WITH*&(!#%)&(!#^%)&(^!)*(&!^)*(&!^()*!^


  3. just in case you were wondering… if you’re a cop and you show up to a traffic stop, and identify yourself as an off-duty officer from a different jurisdiction, and then you refuse to obey officers orders, take a swing at them and resist arrest, AMERICAN TAXPAYERS will reward you with $260,000.


  4. am i raking the muck or racking it? both?

    CAL(*!&#%*(&#!^ let’s party in the snow. come back.

  5. how many dogecoins can i get? i have a top of the line GPU, but it’s like 6+ years old. at the time it was the best of the best though… can i make DOGECOINS too? can i run the software on windows XP? is it a trojan?

    how do i pronounce that? no one is going to use a coin they can’t pronounce. dodge? dowj? doogee? doggie? is it doggie coins? that’s cute. KITECOINS are better. they aren’t KITE coins. that is lame. they are KITTY coins. KITE. like DOGE. IT’S LIKE MONEY, BUT NOT)&*@#%)&*(!#%^)&*(^#!)&*(!#^&*)(!#^

  6. one of the 9 $14,000,000 drones the BORDER PATROL AMERICAN NAZIS crashed looking for tired huddled masses that want to come to america for work, or serve our government subsidized decree that the demand for narcotics must be served by criminals.

    just $14,000,000 of your money in the toilet… and another $100,000,000 of JUNK is set to sit and rot because they can’t keep them in the air.

    keep fighting for your pennies to teach the next generation to SUCK.


  7. Mary Cummings, director of Duke University’s Humans and Autonomy Laboratory, is a dumb bitch that doesn’t understand that GOD DAMN ROBOTS falling out of the GOD DAMN SKY and landing on your GOD DAMN FACE is, “NO BIG DEAL”


  8. 1. Here’s a spreadsheet listing common hashrates amongst various nVidia-based GPUs. I have a GeForce GTX 670 (line 132) and have been hitting 250 khash/s. As a comparison, I set up a miner on my raspberry pi (which has an ARM GPU) and it did 0.33 khash/s, which wasn’t recognized as a proper ‘worker’ by the pool I mine in.
    2. Yeah, it’s whatever. I say ‘doggie’ because it brings me pleasure but most folk say ‘dohsh’.
    3. I mined around 2000 coins in the last 24 hours. Right now each one is worth ~$0.00013 — i.e., I ain’t getting rich. Just trying to understand more about how these mining operations work.
    4. While mining bitcoins can be done with ASICS, most of the new altcoins are based on a different hashing algo that doesn’t work on those chips. Even hardware-based bitcoin miners are no longer cost-effective given the enormous (often zombie hordes of compromised machines) networks of chinese mining operations. So for new altcoins you are limited by the number of high-powered GPUs you can link together rather than the number of $10 ASICs you can string in parallel.

  9. let’s fork the repository, abstract the block chain, and make KITECOIN a REALITY.

    IT’S NOT KITE COIN, YOU MORONS(*&#!%)&*(!#%^)&*()&*(!#^% KITTY!#%)&*!#%^)&(!#^)&*(!^#)*(!^#*()&^!()*()*!#^

  10. well, duh, the ASICs won’t work for a different application… they are APPLICATION SPECIFIC. if a computer can process the algorithm, an ASIC can be made to do it too, also as well.


  11. the way i understand things is that there is some global pool of things that need to get hashed, and you take one of those things and hash it and send the value back…. and somehow tied into all that there is a reward system in place. this is exactly like high frequency trading algorithms….. what are the rules around rewards? is it weighted towards the people that provide the answers first? that provide constant streams of validated hashes? is it something like 1 is given away every 100,000 hashes? could a time based attack exploit that? i just want doggie coins so i can buy turtle food.

  12. >> well, duh, the ASICs won’t work for a different application…

    I meant the BITCOIN-SPECIFIC ASICS you clod.

  13. Yeah- I want to create our own pool. There’s an altcoin hackathon on Feb 15th in Madison and me and @samsonasu are going to talk about building a series of miner appliances/setting up our own pool. I’ll throw you info once we have details nailed down.

  14. I use cudaminer because I run an nVidia GPU. There’s an AMD-based miner as well, or you can mine off of your CPU but it sucks (40 khash/s versus 250+ khash/s)

  15. i’m just waiting for there to be an official “schrute bucks” and “stanley nickels”, and for a recognized exchange to recognize both.

    i’m in on everything. bit bucks.

  16. friendly chinese trout stream polluting scientists will now manufacture your 1-off narcotics for you… simple web based design and ordering.

    having fun dealing with that you “WAR ON DRUGS” MORONS who are DESTROYING the very civilization they claim to be trying to support. remember how all the reagans were coke heads? maybe their mother should have “JUST SAID NO” to them. you can’t legislate morality, but you can buy custom legal narcotics from china.

    so, fuck you nancy reagan. are you dead yet? i bet you are. die again. you’re a nazi enabler. WHY DOES NANCY REAGAN HATE JEWS?!#%()*&!#^)&(!^#

  17. Re: I’ll add how lawmakers lover drug testing the shit out of workers… except themselves. And I love how they live stiff drug penalties… except for their affluenza suffering offspring.

    I blame cal, for everything, always.

  18. This is something that makes no sense… Timmer is great at call of duty, but SUCKS at contra. How is that possible? Does he need vghs?

  19. there is no such thing as non-profits…. there are only organizations that choose to hire their cronies to run charities and suck up all the money through enormous salaries and advertising budgets.

    how about the $50,000,000 they spent on the heads up program to keep a steady stream of unpaid idiots ready ready to do anything they say to get some money.

    i heard that one of the NFL charity programs was providing guns and ammo to suicidal 40 year olds with no media prospects.


  20. donald trump should bring back the XFL, but make it a bunch of quad copter drones playing capture the flag or 3D soccer or whatever.

    robots. with guns. everyone in the stands is given a bulletproof shield, but the robots are instructed to try and not shoot into the stands.

  21. i don’t remember what reason he gave for closing the doors…. what is because he was too poor, or too stupid????


    just burned you HARD, trumpy.

    seriously though… were you just too broke to keep paying the players next to nothing, or were you just too stupid to manage it all to success? or are you blaming the market? are we the fault? is it US donny WALLSTREET? weren’t you in the backbeach boys? bye bye bye, NALDO.


  22. shit, i’m sorry. i completely disrespected vince by accidentally disrespecting someone else when i should have been disrespecting him.

  23. he had HHH dik creeping around his daughter’s vag…. no time to #COMMISH

    wwwwwwwhazzz is the best commish in the game. fuck cals league. fuck matt’s league. fuck every other league. next year i’m 100% wwwwwwhazzz, and getting in the game with my own suicide league. me and belly have unresolved suiciding.

  24. DANG- Phillip Seymour Hoffman dead. He DON’T wait for old people. Didn’t Scientist see him on the Santa Monica pier? Or something?!

  25. rach-o told me off some yahoo lady alert on her phone… then i immediately texted wwwwwhazzz with my legal fears… i once let his daughters say hi to my dogs… am i now on the hook for their rearing??? CAN I SUE?(*^#%!&()*!#%

  26. i’m sure my boy phil hoffman is happy.

    some guy in the PBA SUPER CLASH is wearing google glass.

    first… wasn’t the PBA bought by a bunch of microsoft guys? are they showcasing google glass just to make fun of it?? does the bowler just insist on wearing it and the microsoft guys are pissed?

    second… don’t those friendly neighborhood NFL lawyers have a problem with pretty much any other sport using “super” relative to anything?? those IP thieves over at KING just did that with the word “candy”… remember “candy land?” NO YOU DON’T. WE OWN THAT. IT’S OURS. IF YOU SAY IT’S YOURS, WE WILL END YOU. WE ARE A NON-PROFIT. THE PROFIT IS NON OF YOUR BUSINESS.

  27. lucid and human yet metaphysically emotional interactions Shaka laka do!Shaka laka doobie doobie do!

  28. re-reading that article, it’s not as good as i drunkenly remember… fight time i just skimmed the PHS parts… reading the whole thing is a bit of a pain. feels like college paper padded with meaningless sentences to get the word count up. also didn’t like all the preachy “this is how stories work” stuff. they don’t HAVE to work like that, so the author seems preachy.

    sarayu was the MacGuffin in “dealing with idiots”. basically same cameo that PSH made… sweep in, hit the star with completely fair strikes to the achilles over and over, then leave.

  29. all the spin today is going towards philly died because of the war on drugs, and regulated heroin would have been much safer for him.

    it’s almost like americans aren’t ASLEEP.

    i don’t care anymore. make everything illegal. let’s play guns FOR KEEPS.

    spoiler alert: i’ve been practicing

  30. Fight time had me way intrigued. That is how a story works, bro.

    I think it is an undergrad paper. I was shocked you liked it. It seems like something you’d hate. I still read it. I read a lot worse errrr day.

  31. i wonder about timmer’s strategy for survival in jungle warfare… do contra skills translate? do FPS twitcher skills translate? are you still thinking? i just shot you.


  32. yeah… re-read i didn’t like it… but drunk on philly thoughts, reading it through the eyes of someone else that appreciated it was still good. a few choice lazy adjectives.

  33. can someone explain to me how the moonshiners on TV can BLOW UP SOMEONE ELSE’S CAR… stuff a giant homemade bomb underneath, then shoot it with a rifle 100 yards away. all on camera. the cops find the car and investigate… they don’t do anything. do the cops not have a TV??? can’t they use the DEA parallel construction and claim they followed tracks back somewhere, then find where they guys buy bullets and claim you found a match. JUST LIE. you’re a cop… who is going to arrest you? you’re above the law. congratulations.



  34. there is nothing more desirable than a sexy woman who hates you… it’s the costanza conjecture. sarayu came out PURE sexy and PURE hateful…. but not like a bitch that was just waiting to pounce on anything… this was a GOOD person being RIGHTFULLY hateful… and way FOOOOOOINE.

    jeff carlin got SERVED.

    unlike old people who reassert themselves with 20 fold middle bets, jeff reasserted his indifference of the opinions of others with indifference. YU won the day.

  35. You playing as chix dix again or changing it up? I really love corn money… I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

  36. marketing dept is chugging sugar free red bulls in the BULL PEN.

    equal amounts of work going into new direction and reenforcing current brand.

    i thought “the 51 year old lesbians” would be hilarious… but cal isn’t very bright and would probably leave his padputerbook laying around and the roommate would look at it and know he was spittin her bizzzzz. ug. maybe just go, “fuck cal” on it, and start thinking color schemes.

  37. the scissor sisters?
    the san francisco clams?

    oh man….
    the SILVER scissor sisters. that gets the “old” spice back in the recipe. GRAY PUBES, BRO.

    i think that is different enough so that cal wouldn’t get in trouble, and maybe just think that he has a thing for old lesbians… and THAT MAKES TOTAL SENSE.

  38. i am the only person that can program his way out of most of the problems in the world. scotch or not. usually scotch.

  39. i watched VGHS all the way through for like 3 days straight… i’ve now absorbed it and cherish those absorbtions.

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