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It’s Almost That Time of Year

You can go ahead and imagine little notes dangling around the title up there. Go on; it’s ok!

So my phone started jingling and jangling to tell me that the Brewers are playing Spring training games now. Hurray? That means it’s also time to try to fix up this old dump. #TURDPRESS amirite? I tried to move the site over to a new hosting provider this morning but AJ was screaming and I messed up the migration and then had to roll it back. #kids

So instead of moving providers (which I’ll still do but maybe not until next weekend) I just downloaded a new theme. Pretty not bad, I guess, although I’m sure you turds will find something wrong with it.

Wanna go to Vegas? We’re going at the end of September. Meet us there and party; I’ve earmarked part of our tax refund for the trip. Digression: holy shit we got a refund this year- the power of CHILD DEDUCTIONS and CHILDCARE DEDUCTIONS.

93 thoughts on “It’s Almost That Time of Year

  1. i’ll help you ROLL YOUR OWN. OUR OWN&)!#%)&(!#%)&*(!%#&*(!#%&*((*&!#%

    we can also make it themeable for other retards. i mean tardtards, or however it’s acceptable to point out that most humans are far below the potential of a GIFTEN human. ABILITIES. WHERE IS MY SCOTCH?!#%*(^&!#%()&*!%)&*(!%)&*(!%#()*!%#*()

  2. so… anyways… i hate everything about this theme. spacing, UX, UI, PU, STINKY, it all sucks VARIOUS SHADES OF GRAY. mostly the sucky ones.

    came here to say something else. bah.


  3. I like this turd, especially the all seeing eyes of T.J. Eckleburg.

    Vegas will not be “in the cards” for us. We are in Wyoming for a wild west wedding (with a pit stop in Salt Lake City, hold on to your pee holes). BUT, I would like to do a Vegas trip some time soon (prob have to sub our Dubuque though). Vegas or Reno or Biloxi. We need to expand K cars horizons and make him stand behind you while you roll craps for 10,000 hours in a new timezone.

    I’d also be up for subbing out a Canadian fishing trip for the UP or Dubbs. Oneil has been asking about doing one and he never asks for anything,

  4. why is the favicon a C? because the asshats who made the “Catch Evolution” theme wanted it that way? suck a duck.

    also, fuck the police

    illegally buying network hacking equipment, and using it to break FCC laws and violate the privacy of every citizen using a cell phone in their jurisdiction.


    my brother in laws brother is a cop for milwaukee… talked with him this past weekend… he made many jokes about arresting black people and laughed about it… “i pulled this one guy over” “was he black?” “duh.”

    then they started laughing about how every black person in milwaukee has weed on them, so you can basically pull over anyone and then lock them up for weed…. they were saying this like it’s a good thing. that’s how us whites stay in power. why would you want weed legalized???? you can already buy it, right? and we don’t use it to arrest you, right? we just use it to get all the blacks behind bars…. LIKE THE FOUNDING FATHERS INTENDED.

    you all suck.

  5. any of you fools going to be around madison this weekend? i’m thinking about a trip down. need to buy arugula and broccoli……. help me.

  6. weed criminalization is about keeping mexicans poor and keeping blacks locked up. IT’S A GOOD THING. WHY CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!#(%&*!)&#*(% IT’S FOR THE CHILDREN)&*!#)&(!#^%&)*(!#%(&*!#%(&*(&*!#^

  7. we really need to work out this UP schedule…. i might schedule my tommy john for this year if we’re skipping it.

    cal’s swing is pure. i could rip 70+ and he would still blast me. i need to work on change-up, and either get my headshots under control, or less under control.

    my favorite at bat of all time was the world series a zillion years ago where 1 pitch went like 10′ high, then one went 10′ behind the hitter….. i think it was kruk…. then the next pitches were all down the pipe, but kruk would duck and hide every pitch and he ended up striking out. even as a child i saw the value of pitching wild. “WHY DON’T MORE OF THESE IDIOT PITCHERS DO THIS???@^()&@^)(&!^#)(*!^)*(!^)*(*()_^!”

  8. boooooom. i think i found it.

    looks like it was all star game and not world series…. i’m pretty sure this was the clip, but there was more than 1 wild pitch. johnson was all over for the previous hitters too. all the batters were SCURRRRRED, and then johnson dialed it in and STOLE THE GAME.

  9. right click on your robot guy, save as “favicon.ico” and put it in your web root… done.

  10. california just passed a “delete me” law that lets anyone require any website that hosts data posted by them before they were 18 to delete the posts so they aren’t viewable. holy christ. homies. i’m not joking. buy guns….. buy RELIABLE guns. buy ammo. we’ll be ok. the key is FLANKING. we’ll OUTFLANK any mother fucking haters that dare hate. don’t be scurred. my dogs respectively took a heater to the head and lower ribs…. both shook it off. batting helmets are for GURLS. ladyball. starring jonah hill AND CAL*^(!#%^*(&#%!(*&!#%(^*^&*(!#%^&*(!#%^&*(!#%^

  11. yo cal… if you get the stickbug midspring and want to BLAST some HEAT…….. i have 2 empty guestrooms and a “if you build it they will come” field a block away that sits empty 23 hours a day. don’t even CAL me…. just knock.

  12. oh no…. i attacked all the online colleges and overnight, they all shuttered their advertising, and it’s now replaced with “public” / “charter” 6-12th grade online schools.

    seriously…. don’t debate…. just buy an AR AND an AK. no time to quibble. #BUYAMMO

  13. man, i hate bad beat stories… but just saw a dandy on WPT…

    money bubble with lots of shorts stacks and lots of super rich. obviously lots of super tight broke players and hyper aggressive rich people.

    one super rich with JJ…. chipleader has 73d with position after the raise…. flop comes out J65 rainbow and the chipleader just keeps raising… ALL IN… obviously the JJJ called. 4 on the turn and JJ is your bubble boy.


  14. bitcoin drama is at critiCAL…

    so, the initial release of bitcoin was signed as written by a single guy “Satoshi Nakamoto”…. everyone was like “no way a single person could have written this” “japanese military is behind it” “it’s a pseudonym that means death to allah”…. whatever. all of these statements by IDIOTS that couldn’t program their way out of a bathtub. i could write bitcoin in a day. i could write the compiler for the code in the day. i could write an operating system to run the compiled executable on in a day. IT IS SIMPLE AS FUCK. one or zero… that is it. a brain dead retarded monkey could do this…. but humans: ALL 100% IDIOTS.

    turns out “satoshi nakamoto” was really just “satoshi nakamoto”… a guy. a guy living in southern california in a rundown dump with his parents.

    the next 3 biggests bitcoin exchanges all got hacked in the last week because they were run BY IDIOTS. one of the guys that ran one of them was found dead.

    the CIA is working with the Federal Reserve and american cyber espionage teams to take advantage of their control of all internet traffic, and their poisoning of all security software in commercial systems.

    the world is near end. if you don’t have at least 10 guns, YOU’RE THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF ALL.


  15. I think back to you and whazmaster’s conversation in the Dubuque sweet suite. You were getting theoretiCAL about money and MP said “who says a dollar is worth anything?” and you answered “a fucking army.”

    Side note: the google chrome spell checker underlines Dubuque and wants to change it to Albuquerque. #hateful #westcoastbias #buyguns #growcorn #pissinacup

  16. fuck jimmy fallon

    guess who is never going to watch that show? me. EVER. test my grudges, bro…. I’M FUCKING GRANITE…. INFUSED WITH STEEL…. INFUSED WITH PURE GRUDGE.

  17. american colonial soliders kill all the “native americans” on land invaded with sail ships = “manifest dynasty”

    nazi’s kill all the “native jews” on land they already controlled = “GET THE NAZIS!!! BOOM BOOM BOOM WAR TIME!”

    guns, bro. #LOTS

  18. I hate the word penultimate. Use it and I hate you.

    On the other hand, I’m delighted by kriftopumpkin.

  19. Also not a fan of that Fallon twerp. Belly has a raging girl boner for him. Weird fantasy, bro.

  20. i dont want anything to do with amy adams…….. i just want to grab the tits attached to her, and bury my wanger somewhere inside.

    i never watched fallon show, but for his last couple weeks, i watched every show just to get his ratings up, then i stopped watching the tonight show completely. many many years ago. i never watched it with conan either. fuck leno. tonight show is junk. SUCK A DUCK.

  21. i love your dictatorial commishing, where you offer a poll, and then demand people vote how you want.

    fuck that. CHAOS CENTRAL. i vote against what i want… because that’s how i play the game. voting OF ANY FORM is rigged. might as well vote for what you don’t want, then TAKE what you desire.

  22. i’m also over overbay. line out double play with bases loaded. R U JOKIN ME?!#%*(&!%#)(&!#%

  23. YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF……… this is BACKYard type shit….. all of the news reports is shit like “the rockies resign 2B cal calverson”

    resign = voluntarily leave a job or other position.

    re-sign isn’t any better. just say EXTEND. they resigned him? aw…. too bad. OH, YOU MEANT THE OPPOSITE OF THE WORD YOU SAID…>>)&#%!&*()!#%*(&)!#%)*(&!#%)*( IDIOT*()&!%)&*(!#^)*(

  24. fucking can go suck 12 ducks.

    fucking 19 year old running around his mom’s kitchen with a plastic chromebook… he probably is the guy that coded the site. he says “BOOM! instant teacher”…. he’s obviously home alone, but then he goes over to his younger brother sitting alone at the table… “it’s 6-12, so next year we’ll be going to school together!” WHERE ARE YOUR PARENTS?!#%(*&

    my favorite is his claim that he has “friends all over wisconsin! and there is much less drama”

    so, more friends isn’t more drama? is drama always bad? does iforward even have drama classes? do you put on G+hangout plays? you all suck. just sell me my chaw and let pump 12 know that he’s good to go for post-pay cash gas. only in wisco. everywhere else: they already don’t trust you. the world is full of people that REFUSE TO TRUST YOU…. freedoms eroded… prejudice everywhere…. wisco is the last hope, and you FAP MONKEYS are FEEDING THE MOLD)(&*#%)&*(!#%^()&*!#^%*(&!#%^&*(!#^


  25. nothing weird about a 6th grader and a 12th grader spending most of their peer time and “school” time together. they’re both idiots… they can talk about that.

  26. I went to the website for ifuckward… so it is basiCALly VGHS?

    The principal is Mr. Billy Beesley and the guidance counselor is Mr. Cass Bettendorf. That sounds more fishy than Big J and the Old Man.

    So what do you hate more: regular teachers or ol Billy and Cass?

  27. One of my “students” went to an online charter school. It was created for idiots who fucked off for 4 years but then wanted to graduate.

    It was a room full of computers and a proctor. They took multiple choice tests for a few weeks and then boom: gradumalated. They told me you could click the back button if you got an answer wrong. Loooots of clicks involved. And then you are smart, like the company that sucked a politician’s dick to allow them to take tax money to educate via clicks instead of school.

  28. i don’t hate any teachers… teachers are the greatest. administrators, executives, and students are the problem.

    schools shouldn’t have a PR department or a recruiting department. athletics can serve that role if you want to break from your core values of educating and watch a bunch of retards GO DUMB…


  29. livr looks promising….

    a “friends” app that comes with a breathalyzer, and you can only use the app when you’re drunk.

  30. JOE’S IS OPEN.

    roll to the cleeze. shorties or no. bring broccoli and lettuce please.

  31. the cleeze has a big indoor gun show this weekend… come on up and help get you STRAPPED.


  32. bah… if i knew you were free for rager i def would. what’s crackin tomorrow? maybe i’ll try to roll down solo. wirksu has a poker game lined up… not sure if that is just tonight

  33. wifey is getting hair did at 9am. we’ll probably hit the kiddie museum after that, then i’m 90% planning on bombing down after that. put out the APB on arugula, broccoli and indoor shrubbery.

  34. my netflix movie reco of the day is PRIMER

    whazzman, WATCH IT. it’s the same plot you described, but more believable, and it throws in the startup culture angle which makes it all the better.

    also, 100% white cast, so the racist white government will be okay with you watching it, and not add you to any homeland security lists.

  35. i haven’t had a mouse in the house since the slaughter a month ago, but i saw one hoping around the snow outside, so i got out the benjamin sheridan and blasted that fool with a .20 pellet. i think i just winged him because he hopped off weird and i couldn’t find him.


  36. here’s the basis of primer… they are trying to build a box using various electrostatic / magnetic fields so that the weight of the box. they find a strange resonance so that after the machine is started, anything that gets in the box before the resonance starts will come out of the box the moment it was turned on.

    so, they have a whole string of boxes going and they are going in and out of all of them, and things get interesting.

  37. whoops… forgot to end my sentence….. so the weight of the box WOULD BE LESS… basically for freight shipping applications… you ship a ton, but it only really weighs 5 pounds, so it doesn’t take as much gas to move it.

    given the recent discoveries with pcell technology, i was sold on the plausibility.

  38. really want a nest, but now i remember why i didn’t pull the trigger last time i got the bug….. i also have a whole house humidifier hooked into the furnace, and it has a separate controller.

    lots of people say the nest can do it, but the wiring gets nuts…. “isolation relays” and such. maybe i just hire a guy to do it, and then refuse to pay when he can’t get it to work.


  39. here is the best “fun fact” for PRIMER from IMDB:

    The device in the movie is a person-sized, metal box that hums. One scene features Abe and Aaron standing behind some trees, as they watch themselves enter a U-Haul Storage facility. This scene was filmed in Carrollton, TX (a suburb of Dallas, TX), and in 2005 these trees were cleared to build a Hummer dealership.

  40. right now an “isolation transformer” is the last hurdle between me and a 100% working heads up whazz table.

    i know enough about electricity to build and repair stuff… but i also know enough first hand about electricity to fear it…. add on knowing that i don’t know everything, and OFTEN blow things up accidentally, and it gets really hard to motivate myself to stick my hands in with the wires.

  41. The coin market is weird. There is a shop by my house that has a chalk board with the days prices. Hermit looking old men are always going in there doing thousands in transactions with the Watto behind the desk. Is it true you don’t pay taxes on that? It seems way unregulated.

  42. my first thought with the 1899 coins was “WHY DIDN’T YOU MELT THOSE THE SECOND YOU FOUND THEM????!#?%?!#”

    granted… they are really old coins and probably would sell for more than the weight of the gold… but you could walk in to any gold buyer and get cash with no ID.

    sell and OZ a day. almost guaranteed no issue unless all the gold buyers start selling their security cam footage to the NSA and they start running their facial recognition software on it and already know everything about everyone. i talked to snowy ed, and he promised me that they would never do that. NEVER. almost for sure maybe NEVER. MAYBE.

    BUT…. even though melting them is the obvious first thing to do, SAYING that you melted them, EVEN IF YOU DIDN’T, is also the obvious move. chumlee ran in the back and fired up the kiln 3 microseconds later.

  43. just got the beniez for the socal prefix……. wrong number from an el mexicana… we had the initial set of unsure hellos…. then she rapped of verse of tijauno, and i reTORTed, “estoy numero…. NO.”

    that’s called efficiency, bro. in ANY language.

  44. “hey, scientist…. why don’t you turn off the power before you fuck with electronics?”

    “FUCK YOU!(*^!#%^(*!%# WE’LL DO IT LIVE(*&!#)(&*!#^”


  45. funny thing is, today i implemented a new language construct that i made accept “is not” as well as “not is”.

    my greatest contribution computer programming syntax to date is “if set”. so many practiCAL applications.

    you already got your do whiles, homie. the waters are tainted. IF SET. want to know an easter egg secret? THE WHITESPACE IS OPTIONAL. IFSET will work. 5 characters saving you all the hassle of describing all the business logic rules about only applying the rule if a non-empty value was provided as a parameter to the rule……….. look…… this rule…… with that parameter…. only apply the rule if the parameter is set. IFSET. ones and zeroes. mostly zeroes. IDIOTS)*&%!)&(^#&()*!#^&)*(^#(&*!#^&*(!^#&*)(

  46. there are multiple companies / quacks, offering up $1 BBBBBBillion dollars if you get a perfect mens b-ball bracket.

    first off……. is that legal? second off, who is insuring or covering these bets??? do they have the cash liquid??? third off, WHAZZMAN’S GD COMPANY IS ONE OF THE QUACKS.


  47. Legal as long as no entry fee required. No wager = no gambo. Quicken Loans insured its game through Warren Buffett, who thinks he’s not going to have to pay out. But he’s got the cash. It’s a ploy to get leads for house loans. It’s limited to 15 million entrants.

  48. they said the odds are 1 in 9.2 quintillion… but that is treating every game as a flip… considering that a 16 seed has never beat a 1 seed, and only a few 15 seeds have ever won, and those games are in the early rounds during most of the slaughter, i’d say the true odds are in the low quadrillion range. maybe even lower.

    i forget how to do math… but 1,000,000,000,000,000 with 15,000,000 tries is still like powerball odds on a single ticket.

    yes, unlikely… but way possible. people have won the lottery before…

  49. submitting personal information has personal value to me… i consider that an entry fee.

    CAN I SUE?

  50. can i sue whazzman for his involvement in the parent company? i really really REALLY like one of his camera lenses and i want it.

    settle out of court, homie. I KNOW LAWYERS.

  51. how much photog are you doing? i do a fair amount, but just can’t find a justify $1200 for a piece of glass. lenses should be free. FREEDOM OF THE PRESS…. isn’t that what it means??? we all get free journalism equipment????

    THANKS OBAMA…. FOR NOTHING)&!%#&*()!#%)&*(!#^*()&!#^%*()&!^#()*!^#

  52. everyone vote for me. i’m officially running for chairman of earth. i recognize myself.

  53. my favorite thing about craigslist classifieds are people selling dirty worn used couches and demanding “NO SCAMMERS”…

    are dirty worn used couch scammers really a problem??


  54. i got a new idea for a sitcom… but i think we’ll need a pile of that A.L.F. coke to get it done.

    the show is called: A.P.I…. holy shit… now i know why i made an A.L.F. joke… anyways… the show is NOTHING LIKE A.L.F.

    all of the characters in the show represent various web services, and although there actions will largely revolve around the tasks put unto them, like taking an access token to the token refresh building and getting a new one, personal interactions are part of the job.

    V.G.H.S. style, and i’m not signing anything until we have the drift king on board.

    CALL HOLLYWOOD(&!#%&)*(!#%&*(!#%(*&!#%&*(!#%*&()!#%

  55. like one character on the show will command a cargo ship capable of space travel to MARS… this trip will represent writing data to a disk drive…

    his entire time over 10 seasons on the show, he’ll be taking single lines of a report file with a 99% empty ship. he is completely aware of the problem… he even sees the next package in line ready to go to MARS before he even leaves, but BUREAUCRACY prevents him of getting in the way… just take this package to mars and come back… from there we’ll give you the next package. over time the queue of packages builds up, but he has resigned himself to the task… eventually tending to find potential for fun.

  56. common theme: EVERYONE hates the people that represent facebook… but generally they are extremely helpful and the hate seems misplaced, but hey, you gotta hate someone. BOOK is the derogatory term used.

  57. some ruffians convince the cargo guy to allow transport of goods / people……. sex, drugs & rock & roll… it’s all in the life of a poorly architected log API.

  58. better yet, have him be a supply ship, where on mars they just have a FIFO system that automatically re-deploys the ship….. but all requests are itemized, so he keeps getting sent back for a single screw… and the lumber and screws and nails pile up on earth, but he just keeps going back and forth for a single thing. that’s much better. you’re welcome..

    seriously, lets get raYUUUUUUUUUU on board with those bing wang theory blokes. #CAHSMONEKYESL>

    uh oh.

    i think i drafted all brewers.


  59. also, humanitizations of poor security with an electrified barb wire mine field that just stops and you can just walk around it, and there is a giant freeway going around it. GIANT.

  60. when a “sleep()” command is executed against a “process”, they go sit and wait in the coffee shop and bitch about why there is no good reason they should be waiting……. but WHATEVER…… DO THEY SELL MUFFINS HERE??????? JUST BEER?!#@()%&!#)(&!#^


  61. one guy represents a hotmail API process that is jumping through all the security hoops trying to tell all the servers to restart because of some new spam email that is going out.

    it never stops.

    M$ is still relevant RE: marketing budget…. so we all get surface pro 2 excels for the set, and $5millos a yizzzzzzear.


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