STREAK~!

Brewers just posted their ninth win in a row in a sweep over the Pirates. Hurray! The past few seasons I’ve started slow and faded fast in my Brewers TV game watching (though I’ve consistently listened in on games on the radio). Watching them win on the road and ruin other (former champ!) teams’ Opening Days has been quite a treat though.

Wwhazz and I talked about taking the tots to a day game sometime this summer; I haven’t been to a Brewers game at all since that NLDS game back in 2011.

317 thoughts on “STREAK~!

  1. Is the Kansas City Jewish Community Center shooter doing it right? Or not enough ash?

    … I’ll be waiting for the bell.

  2. the jew boomer did not reach critiCAL mass… he’s like a honey bee stinging a bears nose… bro, you’re dead now. the bear isn’t. how many did he get? 3-4? would it be too cliche to use gas? that was the move… then burn down the building. maybe save the teeth and hair for extracurriculars.

    #SHOULDACALLEDAUSTIN
    #ROGUE

  3. My parents traded us back and forth on the weekends. Sometimes the meet up place was the Hardees in Delafield (California Raisins figurines, holler) but more often it was the American outside Sussex. My mom was always messing up the time. I spend hours and hours of my youth wandering that store.

    #brokenhome

  4. The best post Brewer game Super 18 shows were Benny Hill and Three’s Company. Fuck the Ropers, though.

    Ralph Furley: Ryde or Die.

  5. He was Seth Rogan’s dad in Knocked up… that surprised me. My mind completely failed to connect his Rogan’s old dad to Egon.

    Busting makes me feel good.

  6. anyone want to wager money on the brewers game today? i don’t even have to be coy about it. thanks gambling exemptions that don’t make any sense?

    USD cash money. i want to wager it vs your USD cash money. on a baseball game. winner gets the money. gambling. i want to gamble money with you.

    those red birds are coming in with SPITE. i’m not sure the streak can hold, and maybe the brewers just give them the game to avoid dealing with the pressure of keeping the streak going.

  7. jodie sweetin is an interesting case of child stardom

    she didn’t start doing hard drugs until she married POLICE OFFICER Shaun Holguin…. gee… i wonder where a police officer would get access to X and coke…

    she had 3 husbands and divorced them all immediately after having kids with them. SMART. get that child support! what happened to men and women are equal? do we not REALLY want equality??? nope. give the women all the money. american justice is SEXIST and thus UNCONSTITUTIONAL and thus MUST BE OVERTHROWN.

    #BUYGUNS

  8. “federal law is optional so long as you have enough people with guns backing you up.”

    from the international relations journal, “DUH”

    seems extra obvious as the feds themselves keep invading countries illegally and blowing up weddings, full of women and children, using toy robots to drop bombs.

    home of the brave? home of COWARDS AND MORONS.

    #WAITFORTHEBELL

  9. no one will trade me. i have made GENEROUS trade offers and these assholes all say no.

    i analyze their team and fill their needs and offer more than i ask for. just like real life. all around nice guy. THESE HATERS KEEP SAYING NO.

    fuck them. #DROP

  10. You want to bet against the “Brewers win 12 in a row George Webb gives a free burger to the world?”

    COld, bro. I’ve waited for the my entire life and it’s only happened once.

  11. Yep. Why are no other ranchers complaining? Can I go put my cows on this dude’s public land?

    F him. Oneil is the smrtest of all, bro.

  12. these are the only facts i know:

    1) he lives on 160 acres in nevada… the same size of the blocks that were federally offered as part of the homestead act
    2) he has cows
    3) he has guns
    4) he has friends with guns
    5) he lets his cows graze on land outside of his own… (i believe there was a disney movie about this… they painted it as a dick move)
    6) he does not recognize the US federal government which seems to contradict his claim to land provided by the federal government
    7) the feds seized his cows and came with guns drawn for the rest
    8) rancher stood up with his own guns
    9) feds got scurrrrred, gave his cows back, and ran home to stroke their gurrrrrldiks

    i only read headlines, bro. articles are for CHUMPS.

  13. Well, feds probably wanted to blast, but Ruby Ridge shit cut their nuts off.

    Ruby Ridge leads to Oklahoma leads to feds can’t swing big dick in these situations.

  14. yup… nobody wins in a dikfight… except the people selling viagra.

    rach-os dad had a zillion air force magazines he had laying around to let his brother borrow… every other page was a new vendor trying to market their toy radio controlled foreign invasion wedding bombers. when you can charge $17,000,000 for a fixed wing single prop plane with no cockpit, no controls, and no FAA rules about protecting pilots, you can afford to spend $16,900,000 on magazine ads and still turn a profit. i swear to shit, you give me the spec for the network and weapons system API, and i could build you drone NO PROBLEM for $100,000. hopefully that fucker gary from gary’s hobby center is still alive. he was my grandpas friend… had predator drone sized planes running on autopilot doing runs from racine’s airport to kenosha’s airport round trip IN THE LATE 80s.

    it’s seriously like selling the feds a 20″ tube TV for $400,000. yes, it’s complicated. budget makers have no clue how to make one, but any idiot could get one off the shelf for under $100. same as $800 toilet seats. it’s just dumb. when i brought that up, the “land of brave” airforcers all said that $17,000,000 was worth the life of the pilot…… but now that pilot is out of a job and can’t feed his family rather than being killed in the illegal action of invading another country and killing 300 women and children at a wedding, and having a GENEROUS killed in action pension for his family. killing women and children, while simultaneously removing ANY chance of your own death, is cowardly. SEND A DUDE. send him in a $20,000 cesna. pay him $100,000 a year for *170 fucking years*.

    i’ll be your president, morons.

    wait for the bell.

  15. the best move for the government at this point is to drone strike the rancher.

    LOUD AND CLEAR, HOMIE.

    i’ve been practicing various fascist arm salutes in preparation for dear leader’s revolution.

  16. so, brewers got my prescribed reality check. way smart coaching.

    you just sweeped 2 teams, made lots of home opener CHILDREN cry. HOT. pulling that wheelie up accelerating past 100mph. FAST.

    so, you lost. even if you get swept, you still swept 2 out of 3… that’s still a win… but do you really want to let these birds sweep? that isn’t going to happen…. UNLESS YOU TRY TOO HARD IN THE 2ND GAME.

    so, this 2nd game is a toss up… are they going to BRING IT ON? if they do, and lose, at that point you’re just banking on the 2 out of 3, and that 3rd game is all but guaranteed a loss. take 2, give 1… cash out, and hit the tittie bar.

    BUT… birds came in VICIOUS. they BROUGHT IT ON. can they bring the sweep? doubt it… so maybe they’ll be soft in game 2… who knows. lots of drama now, but i got all the parameters mapped.

    #PICKEM

  17. You son of a bitch. That free burger at 12 wins is important to me. I start thinking about it anytime we sweep. I’m still surprised neither you nor penny knew about it. I thought it was wisco common knowledge. Uke talks about it every game. Listen when he gives his burger run spiel. It concludes with the 12 game prediction.

    The only time it has happened was 1987– it happened on Easter and gw gave out 168,194 burgers.

  18. I just read that Sobelmans was in on the fun and set to give free burgers if they won last night. Webb is nothing to write home about but Sobelmans is the real deal. That place is awesome.

  19. all the more reason to lose… between the 2, we’re talking $250,000+…. once you get all the overtime pay worked in, you’re easily over $500,000… now add in all the lost productivity from a bunch of idiots standing in line all day for a free burger, and the hit to the economy is easily over $1,000,000. brewer win = wisco economy loses millions. it’s just not fiscally responsible… go out there and just have fun today, boys. don’t try too hard.

    todays game will be the battle of who can try the least. if the brewers don’t get worked up with tunnelwinnovision and pull off a win, then they’ll win game 3 too. if they try too hard game 2 and lose, game 3 is guaranteed lose.

    #ACTION

  20. funny thing on price is right today…. they called down a guy named hagop sargagian. he was in the first row, right next to bidders row.

    by the time the announcer started the “uh” in “hagop”… like… hag….uh- right then he was already jumping up and down.

    interesting world that guy must live in to be so confidently identifiable with so few gutteral articulations…. “hag” = “they are almost certainly taking about me”…. “uh”=”COULD NOT BE ANYONE ELSE”.

    OR…. the game is rigged and he new he was going to be called. wouldn’t put it past those hollyWEIRDOs. land of fruits and nuts.

    cal sucks.

  21. I was reading about regional MMA and I saw this poster:

    http://www.rfafighting.com/

    Notice dickman vs barchelos… I thought to myself: I wish I could bet $100 on DICK MAN… turns out the fight already happened and the DICK won.

    My problem gambo is acting up.

  22. bro…. i watched the fight LIVE. you think i’m not up on the shows??

    not sure if it was AXS fights or bellator on spike or back to AXS for foreigners…. that was a busy night. i didn’t watch any of the other fights… maybe big country fought?? there was only 1 other guy i knew, but i was certainly going to watch dickman.

  23. ah, it was the early AXS one. i like that show. “jumping jew, kangaroo”. that’s A+ stuff.

    or is it “jumping jew kangaroo”, and the pause is part of his colorful delivery?? is the kangaroo jewish?? why is the kangaroo jumping?? how does judaism fit into the jumping narrative??

  24. i have come to the conclusion that roehniggy is going to whip the crew tonight. EVERYTHING YOU GOT, QUEERS! the cards blew a giant wad game 1… might come soft betting that the crew would come soft and they could both get in a nice day outside. ROPE-A-DOPE little birdie. DIE SLOW. BOOM. LUCROY. BOOM. SEGURA. BOOM. GENNETTE.

    #WIN

  25. Maddddd, do you think you’d like head to head baseball better than roto? For the longest time I liked h2h better but now I might be a roto man.

  26. crew came out SOFT. roehniggy made A MISTAKE. players on both sides were yawning on the field. should have been a day game.

    so, per the gods, brewers win today is a LOCK.

    get your wallets out.

  27. i knew hendo was coming out, and i was ready to get another win out of him.

    #FIRSTFUCKINGPITCH()*&#%!*(&)!%(&*!#%$&(*!#%&*(^&*(!#%

  28. american justice: where you face your judge on a tv screen over the internet.

    you can’t prove that the video feed wasn’t manipulated and a pirate signal sent instead. every conviction made using telecommunicated courtrooms should be dismissed.

  29. here’s some good VIRTUAL justice

    the accused: “i don’t care, man. i really don’t care.”
    judge: “well, i’m not going to say that i don’t care.”

    um…. who suggested you would? your subconscious? do you WANT to say you don’t care? do you care? maybe you should have said “well, i’m not going to say that i care”… IT’S YOUR JOB TO CARE, but you are under no obligation to say it. claiming you aren’t going to do something you’re not supposed to do is RETARDED.

    JOHN HURLEY IS NOT QUALIFIED TO DISTRIBUTE JUSTICE.

    #FUCKEVERYTHING

  30. here’s some fight rigging fun

    i especially like the come-back fights where they basically set up a jobber, and the jobber ended up destroying the guy, and everyone hates on the jobber because he was expected to lose.

    Why did I fix fights? I fixed fights because it was the smart thing to do.

  31. both beauties. i’ve been looking long time too… $3k+ is pretty standard for anything decent.

    features i like, but they all can’t be on 1 game:
    1) ramps / isolated targets: hit it here… you’re done… that’s it. you want to do this.
    2) conditional ramps / isolated targets: same as above, but can be blocked with obstacles or otherwise inactivated
    3) target sets: historiCALly 3+ buttons on the opposite side of the launch lane. i prefer 4+… make me work for it. 5. no problem. 6?? you fucker. 7??????! FUCKING GRIFT(*^&!#% GIVE MY QUARTERS, SHARLENE.
    4) extra flipper up top: fuck that ball…. let me hit it.
    5) conditional extra flipper up top: that’s cool too… just tell me how to make it turn on. i want to hit that ball. that fucking ball.
    6) launch touch rewards: a classic launch into a gated target set is fine…. pretty much rando pretty, but sometimes you can touch it in the gate you need to complete the set. i’ve played a few games where a full pull and release would always launch you into that classic top gate, but you could do ~50% pulls and the ball will divert into a ramp, but only continue on the ramp if you hit it perfect in the middle third of the power required to divert into that chance. that would reward you with like 50% of the points required to get a free ball, but if you miss, it dumps the ball down to immediate bounce off the angled bumpers directly above the flippers…. and it does it at such an angle that 50% of the time it’s going to end up in the exit lanes on the side of the flippers… on guides you down the pipe… a gimme… knock it out of the planet… THE OTHER leads to death. so that side game is extra fun… almost have to take that chance every time, but for idiots who just jack the launcher off and let it fly, the game still seems fun.
    7) boobs
    8) conditional save pole: that’s probably how i’m going to die. right down the middle. let it bounce back up. that’s only fair. can’t have it always on… i get it… you need quarters… but let me turn that shit on.
    9) tits
    10) ballstore – multiball: same as target sets… 3+, then let them all free at once and RAAAAAAAAGE(^!%#^&*(!#%

    my dad has one… about once a year something will need repair… like plunger head breaks, or flipper band stamps, or sometimes the mechanical things break like the bells and whistles and lights… if money ain’t a thing, you just get a pinball guy…. or you become a pinball guy.

    SO… the things that break are when you have balls flying around… basically anything cool like ramps or general mayhem. so you can prevent that by having all the ramps be under the table in holes or flip up conditional dropboxes like in mars revenge. then you won’t have the ball slam and crack the glass or land on a bumper weird and bumper it out of whack of bit… maybe it takes 10,000 hits to break it, but it’s going to happen.

    i’ve cured myself of the immediate obsession by just deciding i’ll build my own “some day”. JOKE’S ON ME. THAT COULD ALWAYS BE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! THAT MORON SIGNED THIS!!!!!! HE DOESN’T DESERVE TO DECIDE. HE’S FILIBUSTERING OUR DREAM(*^!#%*(&!#%(*&!#%(&*!#% KILL HIM!#%(*Y!%#(*&!%#&*()!#%)*(!#%&*(!#$%(&*^!#%

  32. “Perfect playfield with new rubbers”

    haha.

    i like the crypt one best… $1,000 cheaper, and it’s got a ton of wireframe ramps…

  33. in iowa: kids under 14 are not allowed to shoot guns

    where are parents right to teach their children about the 2nd amendment??? my childhood is the same as the girl in the story…. we would all go with dad to the range a lot. my bro is like 4+ years younger and he would go too. me and my sister would compete. it was way fun. very strict environment and we all 100% followed all the rules. safe and fun. BOOM.

    #CALSUCKS

  34. 2nd guessing my demonizing of roehniggy… coming soft game 2 was risky if the birds didn’t come soft too… but that was pretty certain. i also didn’t factor in that game 3 wasn’t televised, so a sweep would be less embarrassing. so now they get 2 sweeps and a spoiled sweep and have momentum to play off. if you were happy taking the birds for just 1 of 3, might as well be game 3 you win.

    this is why i’m in last place. i’m starting to consider QUIT. i have kids… they need to eat. i’m throwing money down the toilet. i can’t beat you. i’m barely a man.

    I QUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…NO!#%(*&!#%*&(
    FUCK YOU.
    i am HOV.
    you are NOTHING.
    say it.
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA
    HOVA

  35. the crypt machine sold… gotta MOVE on that shit.

    our sitter asked me to sell her shirley temple doll from the 20s… supposedly worth $1,200… so now i’m becoming an expert on these stupid things. lots for sale, some pulling $3k+. hers doesn’t have box or original dress. UH OH… that’ll cost ya.

  36. boston game was fun last night…. fucking muhica blew a save for me, but then the game went 14 innings and the sox ran out of pitchers and had to let one of the infield guys WHIP a few. he gave up 2 runs pretty quick. RED WINS. WHITE LOSES.

    #SOX

  37. considering “corporations are individuals”, i’d like to adapt this same strategy

    if you’ve ever taken anything from our interactions that could be considered a “benefit” of that relationship… maybe i bought you a beer or sucked your dick…. then, you can’t sue me, and you agree that any disputes between us will be solved in “binding arbitration” outside of the american justice system. FUCK THOSE GUYS. we’ll just use “binding arbitration”. sure, the arbitrator is a friend of mine who always decides that i’m right, but sometimes fixing a fight IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

  38. I was watching that double Sox game. From the perspective of closers you, me, timmer, and oneil all had skin in the game:

    oneil’s dude had a hurt shoulder so your Sweet, sweet Mujica had a shot: BLEW IT

    My White Sox guy #1 had a shot: BLEW IT

    Timmer’s guy came in to clean up my guy’s mess: BLEW IT

    My other white sox guy came in: BLEW IT

    And then a second baseman got in on the fun. Additional, there was some Chris Capuano and Burke Badenhop action.,

  39. TNG pinball

    that might be the one with the launch touch ramp…. that looks way fun, but the assholes selling them know that TNG fans have money. $7,500+

    I’LL BUILD MY OWN, JERK)*&(!%)&*(!#%&)*(!%#

  40. oh wait… ATTACK from mars was #3…. REVENGE from mars was #32…. still up there.

  41. I like that Fazolis and your son getting your credit card are both recurring snapchat telemarketer themes.

  42. evolutionary algorithms at work, bro…. keep what works, ditch what doesn’t.

    my old lady used to work like gold… they would ask about debt, i would talk about grandkids… but then they just started hanging up. who hangs up on an old lady???? that is their target market.

    SPEAKING OF THAT…… remember all those scam auction sites where you paid for bids, but bought stuff $1,000 stuff for $80? there are 1000 sites… they are all scams. they used to advertise with hip youngsters in shiny vests. for a long time… then, they went away. now, it’s all old people claiming they won their very first auction and bought something super cheap. i’m not too worried, because a middle aged woman who has a laptop and TV hooked up to a computer and watches netflix all day still has no idea how to “use ebay”. old people aren’t going to fall for this.

    ubid? more like USUK.

    yo cal, did you see cornmoney take a dive today??? SO SUK.

  43. I do enjoy that my dude did this:

    “Santos threw three run-scoring wild pitches, which is a pretty amazing feat.”

    #indeed

  44. I was watching that on stat tracker.

    The first one, I was like. Come on. bro.

    And then the second one, I was all: bro.

    And then the third one, I was… whoa, never seen that before.

  45. k-rod does it one more time.

    i was mumbling through clenched teeth “BEAN HIM!”…. just to play head games with the batter, but worried i would give kuntrod a case of the springerphones… preprogramming shit. a bean wouldn’t really be THAT bad though… runners on 1st and 2nd… 2 outs…. BEAN THE NEXT GUY TOO!(*^!#%(^*!#%^(&*%!&(^*!%# BEAN HIM! BEAN HIM!!

  46. just played a new story… i bought a motorcycle on my visa, but didn’t know that i needed a separate license, so i couldn’t get the title to clear because i couldn’t get proof of insurance without the license… and i got credit advance through payday loan contingent on the bike as collateral, but i couldn’t take delivery of the bike until i had the license and insurance so i could get the title.

    fucker hung up on me. that story was VERY plausible. i’m a mark. take me down, you pussy. YOU’RE SCARED TO DO YOUR JOB. my performance was solid, the story was original… he should get fired.

  47. starting to think they are the repo mafia.

    i’ll try another angle: old jewish lady… supported her grandson darren through law school… $150,000, with $9,000 on your Visa and $4,400 on mastercard.

    is this a case that interests them? new laws make that debt bankruptcy proof…. but WHO’S bankruptcy?? the grandma paid for it. the law guy should take a business loan to start an office… pay his grandma as 1099c $150,000 for “interior design services”… file bankruptcy as individual and corporation. everyone walks away.

  48. can someone explain to me how there is a “Do Not Call” registry set up by the federal government, but those same ASSHOLES that set it up wrote in an exception for themselves???!(&*#%

    I AM ON THE DO NOT CALL LIST. IF YOU CALL ME, I WILL FUCK WITH YOU. YOU BROKE THE LAW.

    ron “cunty cunt” kind just decided to break the law and call me up and waste my time telling me he is coming to town. I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK. you want me to know??? how about you take the zillions of crony bucks you steal from america every year and BUY SOME LEGIT ADVERTISING FROM LEGIT DISTRIBUTORS.

    FROM THIS DAY FORTH: anyone running against ron kind has my vote.

    ONE STRIKE POLICY. FUCK YOU RON KIND.

    #ASSHOLE

  49. i offered up trout to timmer. he let the trade sit for 2 days. finally figured out what he was doing…. waiting for braun or tommy2tits to get hurts so he could sweep in and take the trade after the fact.

    what a jerk. trade off the table. still fuming how you gave him your best 3 players for his garbage.

    i smell conspiracy. IT STINKS LIKE RON KIND’S KUNT)*&%!)(&!#%^*()!#^

  50. Bro, you are looking at a corn field in May and complaining there is no corn. Miggy will grow green and strong.
    #money

    I liked tommy2tits. He was my savior.

    Braun is my true love, but I had to hedge on the thumb. I still own him in my cal league.

    Reynolds was 1/2 of the greatest 3b platoon in fantasy history. Reynolds plus Bonifacio = speed and crack and power.

    I think it was a good trade. The feedback has been 50% he ripped you off and 50% you ripped him off. I miss the 5hr I gave up and the 3 saves but I am playing the long game– the long dong game. You interested?
    #doubler

  51. the hollyWEIRDo house of child rape cards is tumbling down.

    THANK GOD THE UNIONS PROTECTED…. oh wait.

    might as well just let the catholics run hollyWEIRD. this jew kid rape thing just isn’t resonating me the same way that catholic kid rape does. i think the key is the word “papal”. PAYPAL already sucks super hard kid dik… and it sounds sexy… like, i want to squeeze some papals pretty bad. maybe get my papal sucked?

  52. how could you ever be ripping him off by giving him the #1 ranked player who plays every game every season, and a legit closer who has MORE SAVES THAN GOD, and then tossing on reynolds on top of that????? HR LEADER??

    i wanted to draft reynolds real real bad, he looked awesome in preseason, but it looked like there wouldn’t be room for him on the roster. then dicky weeks decided to dicky suck, and reynolds is balling HARD. all 3 of those players are gold.

    miguel cabrera????? WHO???? DOES HE EVEN PLAY FOR THE BREWERS?! GARBAGE.

    timmer didn’t just rip you off…. he child actor jew director raped you. i offered him GOLD for just 2 of those guys and he wouldn’t take it. MIKE TROUT. NO THANKS. COME ON BRO. FISH.

  53. insanity:
    George Springer Hou – OF

    $65 Winning Bid

    The Papermakers $52 (Outbid)
    Hard Balls $36 (Outbid)
    Young Tim’s Ass Hats $19 (Outbid)
    braun’s thumb excuse $16 (Outbid)
    tornadotim $9 (Outbid)
    Boys of Sommers $3 (Outbid)

    i don’t get it. i’m in last place. cal still sucks.

  54. the new fox sports ticker is annoying as fuck… constantly refactoring the same info and changing “Brewers” to “MIL” so they can append on an “at bat” stat. it annoys the fuck out of me…. BUT… i really like seeing: “At Bat: Springer”… i always chuckle and think about a phone falling out of his pants and leaning down to grab it just as a heater beans him in the neck.

    #DEAD

  55. Googling “law sucking back his tear” leads to wonderful.

    1. The HHH wikipedia page
    2. A tucker max essay about why NOT to go to law school (cal, how late wisdom comes to us)
    3. Alley Mcbeal wikiquote
    4. Some tips for beating breathalyzer tests

  56. i drafted joe mauer because after i signed yo mamma, she failed the physical. AIDS. our tests show she’s had it forever. you got it too, bro. just roll with it like i did…. draft joe mauer.

  57. i’m sick of cunt lawyers telling people not to go to law school. cowards who can’t deal with competition in the marketplace. yes, there are too many lawyers. same as politicians. law and politics shouldn’t be a career… it is a necessary evil that lies on the fringes of civilized society, but the system is put in place so only the lawyers and politicians can change the system, so they change it to cement their positions and give themselves more power. politics and law is intended to serve the public, but it has been bastardized by those who would keep you from their holy circle, where they use the need for law and policy to only further their own personal agendas. GET OUT OF HERE!!! IT’S CROWDED!!! WE’RE ALL WORTHLESS HUMANS GORGING ON THE LABORS OF OTHERS!!!! THERE ISN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU!!!! I’M FIGHTING TO STAY ALIVE!!!! WAHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S TOO HARD!!!! STAY OUT!!!!!! WAHHHHHHH!!!! I’M A FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!

    all politicians and lawyers should be required to operate a bowling alley.

    #ED

  58. i watch law & order every day…. being a lawyer is about 1 single thing: OVERCOATS. o’neezy has the game on lock.

    #BESTLAWYER

  59. tucker’s conclusion:

    Don’t be me. Don’t go to law school. Go do something with your life that you’ll enjoy, is rewarding and productive and makes the world a better place.

    of course “don’t be me”… if you were him, being him wouldn’t matter as much. don’t lower his self worth. don’t become his competition. go make the world that he lives in better…. so he can reap the rewards and gorge on your sweat and tears while he sits back and does nothing of value to anyone.

  60. those friendly lawmakers are at it again… too confined by freedom and the right to personal privacy, the supreme court says that anonymous tips are enough to warrant search and seizure.

    find a politician, judge, copper pig, lawyer pig, anyone you want… toss a sack of grass in their car or through an open window, call up the coppers and offer an anonymous tip.

    your right to privacy is worth less than everyone else’s right to invade your privacy.

    #FUCKAMERICA

  61. on my way to work today, a helicopter approached from the road above… no more than 20 feet above the power lines and overpasses… slightest mistake and that moron would get caught up in the power lines and crash into me. went directly over my car and continued on behind me exactly the same. not sure if they were just trying to save money on street sweeping or what. either way, way dangerous and i don’t like it.

    CAN I SUE????

  62. You drafted Mauer because you miss living in Minnesota and you want to put your lips on his mouth.

  63. I told you to take Gomez #1, bro.
    Now you are trying to sell Trouser Trout?

    “Mike Trout went 1-for-5 and scored two runs as the Angels defeated the Nationals on Tuesday.
    Advice: Trout struck out three times, the continuation of an uncharacteristic trend. He has now struck out in 15 of his last 38 plate appearances. His 28 percent strikeout rate on the season is well above last season’s 19 percent rate. Trout has still been incredibly productive, but it’s something to keep an eye on.”

  64. he was taking joe rogan’s focus juice, but now they’re testing for that.

    in the last like 24 hours, joe rogan and recorded and published 3 podcasts… 8 hours total material. he’s insane. i get it though… the internet is NUTS. you can just SAY SHIT. NOTHING BUT SHIT. you can do that. ANYONE CAN. BUY MY FOCUS JUICE.

  65. Here are some choice comments from your rancher buddy:

    “I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” Bundy said during one of his daily press conferences. “[B]ecause they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their young children; they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

  66. He likes the browns though:

    “Now, let me talk about the Spanish people. You know, I understand that they come over here against our Constitution and cross our borders. But they are here and they are people. And I’ve worked side by side with a lot of them. Don’t tell me they don’t work and don’t tell me they don’t pay taxes,” Bundy said. “And don’t tell me they don’t have better family structures than most of us white people. … We need to have those people join us and be with us, not not come to our party.”

  67. I mean, he doesn’t hate the “negros” he is just a post colonial wondering which chain is better for them: slavery or the government’s teat. I mean, they gotta live in the white man’s world and they are too dumb to function on their own what with all the time they spend in jail and abortion clinics and cement porches.

  68. Burn this fucks cows. And then mow down his pussy ass militia. Get off my lawn and don’t step on any turtles on your way out.

    What sort of militia peacefully assembles anyway?

  69. yup…. i already called it. if the government wants to respond, they have to bomb the place. there is no other response.

    america is full of PUSSIES.

  70. best case would be to fire up the emergency alert system…. i’m so sick of that fucking thing… BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. FUCK YOU! it works. it’s never not worked. we have wireless data networks now. grow up. so everyone’s TV gets hijacked… them obama comes on…. from the oval office with a flightstick on his desk. it goes split screen showing the targeting camera of a predator drone with a hellfire missile…. zoomed in bundy’s heat signature from inside his house. “hey bundy”, mr. obama says. “here’s what is going to happen. 2 options. everyone dies, or you lay the fuck down, and tell all those queers on your front lawn to lay down too. you have 10 seconds to comply. 1, 2, 10″

    #BOOM
    #IFTHISHADBEENAREALEMERGENCY

  71. my favorite thing about complaining about your trade is that it makes no sense to complain…. even if i’m right, you just gave some help to the guy BURIED in last place, spoon with sucky cal. no threat to me… and we have h2h side action, so if i think you hurt yourself, GREAT FOR ME. basiCALly, you’re dumb. no double. i see the scoreboard fine. you planted that same GMO corn on all your fields for too many years in a row. YOU FUCKED EVERYONE IN YOUR COUNTY. now the insects have EVOLVED, and your crop is going to shit. no corn = no money, bro. no tractors. no chaw. no goats to fuck. NOTHING. you’re a man in overalls picking snagged line out of a downed tree down by the crick. i am HOV.

    #SAYIT

  72. that story is almost too perfect…. it’s like auto-tuned distraction propaganda.

    putting women on the front lines is such a great move. no one can complain.

    #EQUALITY
    #YOUDEMANDEDIT
    #YOUREWELCOME
    #GETONTHEFRONTLINE

  73. 2 cabreras… 2 castros… a crawford, a cruz, a cain, a chavez, a cueto, a cook…

    overall, i give your team a C.

    #QUIT

  74. indian guy called up from cardholderservices today. i decided to go middle-eastern. got a good 5 minutes in… my story: $5,200 on my visa. i bought a TV from ericson’s rent-to-own, then i sold the TV… “they come for TV, but i don’t have TV… i sold TV… now they want money, i don’t have money”

    what interest rate are you paying? “i don’t pay… interest rate too high… i don’t pay”

    after 5 minutes, this guy apologizes and promises they won’t bother me anymore. FUCKING PUSSY. QUITTER. i switched to an english accent… “i’m a brit now, chap”

  75. yeah, i stopped doing most of the snap vids… my goal is to waste as much of their time as i can, and part of that is me trying to talk for as long as possible without having them just hangup. they hangup a lot. twitch finger, but it’s easily to lure them in. the problem with the vids is it’s just me talking for 10 seconds… the real magic is the balance and response to what the other guy is saying, but there is never time to get that in. and, half the time i forget to mute the phone first, so after 10 seconds the guy will hear the recording in the background, and i’ll flinch a bit trying to stop it and the call ends pretty quick after that. they are dogs. they smell fear. i’m a human. i OWN dogs. bark for me, BOY. good boy. keep wasting your life you fuck. i OWN you.

    every time anyone passes up an opportunity to do this to a telemarketer, a dead baby dies. AGAIN. shame on you.

  76. That rancher is a hoot, complaining about government subsidies. It’s not a subsidy if you just steal it from the government. His enlightened attitude towards the Spanish is obviously in deference to their having an even older claim to the land he ranches. Fuck the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo.

    #MANIFESTDESTINY

  77. yeah, TOO MUCH of a hoot. i smell fish. the story is perfect. call me when the bomb drops.

  78. bro… too many bros, bro.

    you’re right though…. I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS.

    cal sucks. RUSSIA WILL FALL.

  79. why aren’t there any men working as one of the “fox sports wisconsin girls”????? where is my equality??? where is the action of affirmation????????

    CAN I SUE?

  80. is anyone buying this braun “oblique” injury? seems pretty obvious it’s a clubhouse “you break it, you bought it” policy where you serve the same injury leave as the person you injured. why lie about it?

    #LIARS

  81. timmer’s exact quote: “i’ve never liked trout, trade him soon. his career is over soon.”

    #SOON

  82. timmer is a good enough card player to know that i need the 6 of clubs… he’ll keep his 6 and let me set on my pair of kings while he giggles.

    the fat vegan ate my kale dik and let me complete the straight flush.

  83. enjoy some new snap vids. guy today let me do the 44444444444444444444 bit like 6 times. kept asking me to do it again… it’s your funeral, buddy. then he says my phone number and says he’ll call back next week. THANKS! i’ll be here.

  84. good price is right today… during the spin-off, one lady just couldn’t do it… after 2 times of it not going all the way around and her screaming “BIG MONEY BIG MONEY” like she was on wheel of fortune, drew offered to help. so 3rd spin she gets like 60 or something… lots more confusion, then she decides to spin again with help. again, she screams “BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY” and drew corrects here and says “MEDIUM TO SMALL MONEY! MEDIUM TO SMALL MONEY!” then she hits the 40 for a dollar. G-ball in your pocket, lady. of course she hits the dollar on the bonus spin for another 25 boxes of ziti. good show.

  85. Ok, just watched the latest 4444444444. Holy fuck. That was the funniest thing I’ve seen in 2014. Are you sending these to cal and oneil and bunk and whazzmaster?

    I love the format too: just a hand holding a land line. The mise en scene: domesticity, children’s toys.

    I think that this exact format translated to youtube would be a hit that inspires 10,000 imitations. As is a virtual, mandala, it is good though I think it deserves some permanence.

  86. just sending them to you…. surprised how much value you put on them. i guess i could switch phone into camera mode and post to youtube directly.

  87. how can the NBA take a illegal warrantless wiretap as sole evidence to issue $2.5MM fines and lifetime bans on a team OWNER… they can’t even force him to sell the team, they have to ask someone else to ask him to sell it. how can you BAN someone that OWNS you??? so dumb. the NBA is going to get sued to nothing over this.

    thanks, obama

    #FUCKAMERICA

  88. i get the NBA thing now… UNIONS, bro. they are THE BEST. unregulated libertarian plutocratic utopias.

    he should buy the bundy ranch and GO NUTS.

    #LIKEAMAN

  89. The NBA is a voluntary association of team owners who have made an agreement governing the conduct of their association. Part of that agreement allows 3/4 of the owners to force another owner to sell his team if he violates a provision of the agreement. Another part allows the owners to appoint a commissioner who is allowed, among other things, to dole out punishment if owners do things that are detrimental to the best interest of basketball.

    If Sterling doesn’t like the terms of the agreement, he shouldn’t have joined. He also could have tried to convince the other owners to change the terms. If the commissioner is exceeding the rules, or if Sterling doesn’t think he violated any provision of the agreement and the other owners force him to sell, he can sue the association. For example, the agreement authorizes a $1 million penalty for doing something detrimental to the best interest of basketball. I’m not sure how the commissioner got to $2.5 million. If it wasn’t authorized, Sterling can sue. He could also argue that his actions weren’t detrimental to the best interest of basketball, but a court is almost always going to defer to the commissioner’s determination of what that phrase means.

    The government can’t use illegal wiretaps, but the government has nothing to do with this. The NBA can use whatever evidence it wants. The players union can make statements, threaten boycotts, and ask the commissioner to impose certain punishments, but at the end of the day, this is a dispute between the team owners based on a contract they all voluntarily agreed to make with each other. Libertarian heaven, in other words.

  90. that’s how i understand it… i just see it ending up in appeals court, maybe going all the way to the top… can the verdict from “binding arbitration” be forced upon someone if it was the result of illegally obtained evidence? it’s going to have to be settled out of court. the most baller move would be the NBA to offer him $1B to GTFO. he bought team for $100MM… current valuation at $800MM… $1BB is a can’t so no offer, and makes the league looker richer than super rich guys. move on.

    anything else, and he is going to end up winning in some kangapoo court.

  91. Maldonando pitched well today. He’s C, 1B, RP eligible. I think he is going to close. Estimated FAAB is $11. Bid less than that and you are a pussy.

  92. Yeah, his latest blowup is the least of his sins.

    There’s a clause in the agreement saying that when conducting investigations, the commissioner is not bound by any rules of evidence, so this guy won’t get anywhere claiming that the recording was illegal. Also found where the commissioner got the 2.5 million figure. Commissioner has lots of power and discretion under the agreement.

    My point is that nothing is being forced on Sterling. He agreed to be subject to the rules giving the other owners the right to force him to sell and to have a commissioner with tons of authority. I’m not saying he won’t sue, or that the rest of the owners won’t settle to make him go away. But what’s happening to him is hardly unfair.

  93. so, he could sue the girlfriend for making and distributing an illegal recording, but couldn’t sue the league for using that illegal recording to take further action??? i think there is at least 1 judge in the country who would let him sue.

    what about all those ruppurt murdoch guys getting paid to hack peoples phones? you can’t do that. when you do that and sell the info to the papers, and the papers use the info to sell more papers, everyone is liable… they’ve been sued before and gone to jail. how is this different?

    i really hope he buys the bundy ranch.

  94. oh, and FUCK THE POLICE

    speeding in residential area without your lights on… strike and kill a pedestrian… no charges filed.

    #JUSTICE
    #FUCKAMERICA

  95. if we signed a deal that said i could rape you, and during the rape you complained about being raped…. well, what is happening to you is hardly unfair, but you should still be able to charge me with rape and get some sort of justice out of illegal acts brought upon you.

    OR NAH?

  96. and if what he did was so bad and so public in the past, why wasn’t action taken then? lots of people doing lots of shady questionable things with lots of money on the line. lawyers are going to clean up, but a billionaire should be able to keep the fire burning a very long time. steinbrenner was asked about it, and instead made a joke about being a jew. smart move, jew.

  97. That “not bound by rules of evidence” stuff is how MLB got Braun and ARod. They went off the grid with ex FBI and shit.

    What he did is so bad and action was taken in the past just not by the NBA. And that’s the point of Kareem’s article. Time magazine, bro.

    In the end, he will be fined 2.5 million and then sell the team for a 100′s of million profit. So great punishment. If the NBA wants true revenge they need to get a player with some LA gang ties and get him with a nut shot, at least.

    #onepac
    #ash

  98. No action was taken because he was a smart and connected asshole. He gave millions to charity to make billions breaking the law.

    Give the NAACP a bunch of cash, smile and take their awards, get rich and lie happy while widening the racial disparity gap in LA.

  99. the NAACP should give all the money back. anything less and you’re tarnished forever. even passing the money on to some other charity that provides nut shots to racists would still be taking and spending a racists money. is that what you’re about?

    nothing was done, because anything that can be done can be appealed forever in mountains of lawsuits. he is going to bankrupt a lot of people while lots of jew lawyers get rich. (no homo)

  100. i’m still pissed about the sexist rules of judaism… my grandpa was a jew… but supposedly only sexy jew ladies can make more jews. a d00d jew who marries a normal lady just makes normal babies… not special jew babies. i guess those rules were made around the same time the world was believed to be flat, and all illness was the result of witches. DNA be damned, no jew lady = no jew.

    CAN I SUE?

  101. i especially like how modern slavery works…. as long as you give them lots of money, you can control their lives completely. the NBA has an off court dress code. ridiculous. i play basketball… you have a monopoly on the game… i don’t have any real choice other than to agree to your slavery terms. thanks for the house, massah. i promise be a good boy, massah… no crooked ball caps, and i’ll always wear the collared shirt you set out for me, massah. thankya much, massah.

  102. what happens when the next illegal recording comes out with an NBA player / trainer / coach / executive / owner dropping a juicy N-bomb out of context?

    immediate ban? immediate $2.5MM fine? incognito is still on the field. the ignorant hypocrisy train is FULL of coal.

    #CHOOCHOO

  103. i’m more pissed at the ultimate fighter… like 59 minutes of the UFC hype machine playing real world, i get completely sold on the fight and the fighters, then the octagon door closes, and it’s SUCK v. SUCK. terribly boring fights.

    PUT ME IN, COACH!

  104. No you can’t sue. You can convert. Welcome aboard, just chop off the end of your dong.

  105. bro, my dong is ready to go. real good work too. i think the rabbi who inspects it will offer me a signing bonus on the spot.

  106. dana white closing out the show, “it is impossible for the next fight to such as much as the last one did”

    well, geez…. sorry i complained. dana has shit under control.

    #SLAVEMASSAH

  107. SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK

    i suck at spelling SUCKSUCKSUCK.

    cal sucks. (period.) .

  108. i’m waiting form some business owner to install a nasty 2nd water fountain next to a nice one… label one “Humans Only”, and the other “Donald Sterling”. probably the best company to do this would be sterling optical. unless, of course, he is the guy that owns that place…. he probably is.

    what about the yacht manufacturer or real estate agent that takes his money??? should we stone them to ash too??

  109. 1. I respect the logic behind being a true jew. They want to see you crawl out of a Jewish woman to KNOW that you have Jewish blood in you. That non jew coulda been taking all forms of dick (cut, uncut, crooked, gonzo-nosed) and there is no way to know which one rung the bell. Well, pre genetic testing there was no way to know.

    2. Kareem touches on your comment about who is next. It creates a dangerous environment that does nothing to tackle racism.

    3. Popadick’s problem is blood related.

  110. i’m also interested in all the tax implications of having a charitable donation refunded.

  111. i think it’s way more racist for most people to date and marry people of their same race, and not even have mistress let alone different race mistress.

    actually, i think it’s most racist to even use the WORD racist. it implies races exist that are explicitly separate. unity is not about separation.

    is an expressed or implied preference the same as “racism”, or is it only expressed negative prejudice? i’ll give you a hint: FUCK AMERICA.

    i read kareem like day 1 and he hit it hard. whole story makes no sense. obviously obama and his LIBERAL MEDIA is behind it.

  112. shaq went on jim rome and said matter-of-factly that he will never be dunked on by a white man.

    when can i expect his ban to be delivered? how much of the $2.5MM fine will i personally receive as a victim of his racism?

    CAN I SUE?

  113. charles barkley: “we’re a black league”

    who is WE? you are NOTHING.

    also funny that charles barkely, a known racist, only called for a suspension of sterling because he knows that CHOOCHOO train is coming for him pretty soon after.

  114. today’s telemarketer took a very strange turn…. i got the full video. basically, once i told the lady that i had reached my credit limit, she started suggesting all the things i could do instead to help myself… like call up the bank and ask for some strange acronym of forms i need that could get help from other people. not sure if it was bullshit or not, but i did realize that it’s stupid to tell them my card is over the limit, because their entire mission is getting card numbers so they can steal money from people… but this chick went on for like 4 minutes telling me stuff i could do. i let her run with the ball.

  115. it’s funny searching the internet for people talking about NBA racists… 1 of 5 comments from 2004 was about sterling and all the damning evidence. not many complaints about him after 2006… but it was obviously WIDELY known. so, if the commish is the lynchpin, it’s pretty obvious it was david stern’s decision to not act, so lynch him with pins.

    #BAN

  116. also curious to see how things will play out with rental discrimination based on credit bureau ratings… how is a 3rd party allowed to say someone is of the race of unrentables?

    #HEARSAY

  117. after i convert, do i get assigned a bank to run, or can i pick? what about manipulating politics through the media… is that something i sign up for, or will someone call me? can i have shecky greene’s seat at the friars?? i can do poop songs.

  118. Maybe this will help:

    Fuck what you heard, it’s what you’re hearing. It’s what you’re hearing, it’s what you’re hearing. It’s what you’re hearing. -DMX

  119. I went to a whazzmaster burger and beer tech talk last night. One dude said, “PHP guys are the worst.” And I nodded in agreement.

  120. He gave a bunch of reasons and I gave one too: your Trout trade. Later I added a little something about turdpress. ANd then I was out of tech talk, so I ate a cheeseburger and watched the brewer game.

  121. Converts get almost nothing. Shit, I get practically nothing because I’m only half — a monthly check for $26.48 from the worldwide conspiracy. Your benefit would probably be Applebee’s coupons, but you will get cut off after you use them to buy a pork or shrimp dish. There isn’t as much money to go around as people think. Manipulating the media is a net loss and there are only so many banks to run.

  122. trout goes 0/4 far too often. i don’t like that. i’d rather a guy goes 1/4 every day than a guy have a .300 avg going 0/4 twice a week. also, i can get his numbers lots of other ways. i needed an elite closer. i got one. end of story. i made offers with pretty much everyone and they were rejected.

  123. i’m going to see what the methodists and unitarians got cracking for signing bonuses. i’d really like a bank.

  124. people who argue about programming languages are the worst. the language doesn’t matter… it’s all just flipping bits. if you argue about the language, you have no idea what you’re doing.

    wait for the bell, morons.

  125. 1. You are going to get busted quick. You’ll order the Applebees tequila Jack Daniel’s Michelob Ultra marinated shrimp fajitas. A man drinking coffee in the corner booth is watching. The coupons stop arriving.

    2. 0-4 is what you heard. Now, here is what you need to be hearing:

    Baseball is long as fuck. We are in the equivalent of the NFL week 2. You can’t give up on trousers in week 2. Over the last two years he is the #1 fantasy player. The general MLB fantasy rule of thumb is do not look at the standings or make a trade until May 1st. That’s when you LOOK at the standings. Caveat: a major injury. I am reluctant to cut or trade even a 5th round pick before the all star break. Do you know that Trout (with his slow start) is still the #9 ranked player in yahoo? And that is not some ADP bullshit–that is a true stat based assessment.

    I like thinking outside the box. I don’t follow ADP and I trust myself more than any fantasy expert including the Miz. I respect that you play the game with panache instead of blindly following what yahoo tells you to do. But you went too far on this one… unless you know something about Trout that I don’t know, like you plan on killing him.

    K Rod is off to a good start. But his days of elite are over. I’ll put cash money on his saves for the year at UNDER 40 even with his fast start. I’d also do ERA OVER 3.4 And I fucking love the Brewers. I will be delighted if it comes true.

    I’d also do side action for Soriano (a guy you cut) having more HR and RBI than your boy Collobello (a guy you traded the best played in baseball for).

    I also think that Phi, cal, oneil, and timmer will finish higher than you in the final standings.

  126. i get drunk and hit buttons. i don’t know what they do. are these words??? I HAVE NO CLUE.

  127. trout spends his days on set for subway commercials, on his phone with his investment broker. motivation is gone. 0/4??? IT DOESN’T MATTER NO MORE! WHO CARES?! drop kick your jacket, bro. his career is over.

  128. starting to think i really fucked up with trout.

    not going to think about it until 8 starts for cudddddddddddy

    WHO WANTS JETER?!?!?!?!?!

  129. You might be right about Trout. Maybe he roided to the gills until he got that payday and then turned off the juice. Maybe K Rod is the regime.

    I also have to give you props for Scooter. Crew has him batting cleanup– that ups his value by about 50%.

  130. I am still steaming over the 6I 9k shutout….. swear to shit I check that shit 20 times a day. Want to quit so bad.

    #NEVERQUIT

  131. I want trout back. Also want briguy back as partner to stop me from being dumb. He fits the profile.

  132. Pi has a book called “Skippy Jon Jones” about this cat that really likes Mars. There is a part where he steals some cinnamon from his mom who is baking cookies and dumps it in his bed to make it look red like the surface of Mars. When he does it he says:

    “I musty put some rusty in my big boy bed”

    I get this sentence stuck in my head all the time. For the record, Pi hates this book for some reason. We never finish it.

  133. yesterday i left a quarter on the conference room table when i left florida… a different guy forgot his mouse, and someone else left a charging cable, so i had to leave something too.

    it was one of the alaska quarters that looks fake.

  134. i didn’t see a single lizard… wasn’t really looking though, and we didn’t do much walking around this time.

  135. yo, neezy, signing up for fantasy and handing over my money, no one ever told me to “please play responsibly”…

    CAN I SUE?!

  136. i get really mad when my bench guys get homers. especially when i’m busy as shit and can’t get in until like 11am and the east coast games are already running, and half of my guys all get unscheduled days off on the same day, and i’m scrambling to get everyone else in, and as i’m doing that, the guy whose game started 2 minutes ago gets a homer on his first at bat. MADDDDDDDDDD(*!%#(^!#%*(^&%!#(*&!%#(&*!%

    i don’t even know what happened with brewers last night… saw KKKunt-Rod give up a homer 1 strike away from save…. brewers ended up winning… not sure if he pitched the 10th or not… and if he did, does he get the win? i’ll just check, but i was pissed.

  137. you work for ME, BOY! you get a save opportunity, YOU SAVE. WHIP! WHIP!!!! CRACK! CRACK! WHIP!! WHIP!!!! YOUR NAME IS TOBY)&!#)&*(%!#()&*!%#^)&(*!&*()!^#%

  138. looks like he did start the 10th and did get the save. nice 9.0 ERA bro.

    wait… but it says he only pitched 1 inning and gave up a run… so, why wouldn’t the guy that started the 10th get the win???????

    CAN I SUE?!

  139. oh wait… he started 9th… blew save, then brewers won in bottom of 9th. i hadn’t had my coffee yet.

  140. Have you looked at the official rules on how a save is awarded? I used to text cal all the time demanding answers. Way hard to follow.

    Did you cry, cum tears, when Jeter took his last Miller Park AB?

    Are you opening a branch of Joes at my house on Saturday? I have some dice fiends over here.

  141. Another weird rule:

    If you take off your glove and throw it at the ball, the hitter gets an automatic triple.

  142. i dumped mujica for thornburg… might be my new favorite slave… thinking about planting an entire new cotton field and let him get it up to speed with a team of his own slaves to manage… pretty soon he’ll be headlining my corn game and get the REAL money.

    #CHA
    #CHING

  143. saves and wins i’m clear on… weirdest part of the rules is how the guy on deck counts… not hitters you face for potential runs, but guys that came out of the dugout ready to go if you didn’t get the current guy out. that seems weird…. but so does the dropped ball on a swinging strike out, but i’ve come to terms with that. i came all over the terms. you can barely see them anymore. loose ball in play… you got no more chances to hit it anywhere better….. SO…. RUN SLAVE!!!! RUN!*(%!^(&*!%#)&*(!%^#*(&!#%&*(!#%&*()!%# but you’re out… FUCK YOU, “I’M OUT”… they don’t even have control of the ball…. i’m fucking running. FUCK EVERYTHING)&(!@#&*)(!#%^&*()!#^&*)(^!#

  144. i had the game out, but we had visitors… didn’t see most of the game, but i did walk in for the 9th and stopped watching immediately after the HR. i blame the brewers fans. they gave EVERYTHING on the 3-2 pitch that got fouled off… like they didn’t even realize that could happen. the ether of my control through their collective consciousness lost cohesion… i was powerless to stop the HR, and already knew it was happening before the ball left my slave’s slave hand.

  145. didn’t see jeter… didn’t care to see jeter. fuck jeter. dropped him to complete the lawry’s seasoning duo. SYNERGY. if someone took him, i had MUC-GUH-HEE ready to take over jeter’s arugula patch on the homestead. SAY-LA-VEE-NO-MUC-GUH-HEE-FOR-ME

  146. Poker night confirmed:

    Me
    oneezy
    Whazzmaster
    Timmer
    timmer’s bro (my wiener feels weird has to stay home)
    Phil
    Ross P

    Maybe, babies:

    MAdddddd
    craiger

  147. i have a very vague memory of using the thrown glove move.

    recently they had a guy toss a glove to first after the ball got stuck in the webbing. it had happened once before and was already ruled as legal. i think that one deserves a little more debate or statement of clarity. what about hats? can you throw your hat? can you catch the ball in your hat and throw the hat to first?

    the official rules is something like “ball contact with leather”, so, i’m guessing the reasoning was a conclusion that leather is conductive, so “ball contact with leather in contact with leather” can be reduced to “ball contact with leather”. what if the glove with the stuck ball was caught with the ball sticking outside of the closed 1st-baseman’s glove? what about the hat? doesn’t count because it isn’t leather? what about leather hats?

  148. we don’t have any major plans this weekend, but the madddddddlady has birthday pics scheduled for saturday morning. i’ll play it delicate and get the rach-nod tomorrow hopefully.

  149. I thought you were in favor there being consequences for secretly recording people without their consent. Or just for NBA team owners?

  150. i’m in favor of raking muck and the endless debate over whether it should be racked instead.

    my favorite recent clip is tommy lasorda’s comments

    i don’t wish that girl any bad luck, but i hope she gets hit with a car

    BAN HIM FROM HOCKEY!(*^#%(*&!%()&*!#(&*!#^)*(&!)(*^#

  151. i’m for the existence of a definition of a word spelled “privacy” that would serve to separate things that aren’t a part of public function.

    cops are slaves. if you’re on the clock, we are paying you and have the right to watch you. DEAL WITH IT, TOBY.

    #PIGASH

  152. the HWK got the nasty gene… she watches frozen a lot. there is a song “do you want to build a snowman”

    she sometimes sings it to me, “do you want to poop on a snowman”… very funny… i sang it to her yesterday and she got mad. i need to teach her a lesson… BITERS ARE GOING TO BITE.

    thankfully, i’ve had enslaved some FO REAL snapping biters in public captivity WITH IT’S OWN SET OF STAIRS LEADING TO A VIEWING AREA. remember dog the bratwurst hunter? HE JUST BITES. THAT IS WHAT HE DOES. HE IS A BITER. you can’t get hung up on this, honey. that was a really funny song you wrote. no turtle or otherwise can ever bite that away from you.

    #DADOFTHEYEAR

  153. i also taught the kids to collect quarters all over the house and put them in the whazzzzzzmachine. the only problem: one of them found the half-dollar i keep laying around for coinflips. silver dollars are too heavy. quarters could be bigger… thanks half-dollar. let’s flip. well, you put that in the quarter slot and it jams things up good. took me an hour to get it out. had to build special tools out of paperclips and then perform a triple fakie kickflip with them. i could probably do it in a few minutes now, but it was a real bitch, and completely jams up the quarter machine… so if you want to move in on the vending industry in a new town, just go everywhere and put half-dollars in their machines. SMOKE THEM OUT.

  154. if cops are banned from illegal search and seizure, and cops have illegally searched and seized in the past, then it’s likely to assume they might do it again… without evidence, you can’t bring a case. word against word and the cops and DA and their buttclub are going to side with the cop every time. a ban on collecting a record of a public employee on duty when you believe your rights are being violated is effectively a denial of those rights.

    #RACISTSRACE

  155. Fair enough. I don’t think the law should prohibit what Boston lady did. Or what Sterling’s special lady did. In Wisco, neither of them broke the law. You can record conversations here as long as one party consents. So your snapchats with telemarketers are legal. In most other states, they wouldn’t be. Nevada is same. That’s why the calls in Crank Yankers were made in Las Vegas.

  156. yeah, i’m way up on that shit… even when i was 14 and installing cameras and phone taps in the Q. i was going to make a public interface to view the camera feed, and told the papers, and i got a zillion calls from writers who wanted to do “big brother” stories on a feature to show a blurry picture of how many people were in a restaurant…. so i decided to not release the feature even though i made it work… i used my dad’s old laptop with a “snappy” device hooked up that spliced into the security camera feed… so it would take a picture once every 10 minutes and then FTP the image to the webserver over dialup… the restaurant had 2 lines so it would just use one of them every once in a while. also set up tape decks on both phones to bust the lazy slaves who made personal calls on the phones. looked into the law back then. WELCOME TO 1984, TOBY.

  157. i also don’t think what the girl did should be criminal or illegal…. but i also think that the fruits of those acts are tainted, and further public action based solely on them should be defensible on taint grounds. it’s going to get fun. i really hope sterling has all lawyers with richly toned skin… or maybe just a single such lawyer with a name like tolkienstein… wait??? he’s jewish????? he’s a token named tolien????? AND HIS FIRST NAME IS TOBY!??!#*&^!#%*()^!#%

    it’s better than anything steve harvey is putting out lately.

    #RACIST

  158. glad to say i’ve won my fight against FX. they had like 4 hit shows… moved them all to FXX and then tried to get the cable operators to buy the new channel in addition to FX. classic bait and switch. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE??? so i just spammed social media of the actors and fan clubs and called everyone out on the money grab.

    this season all the shows are back on FX and they are playing all the re-runs from last year, so i’m getting those too.

    nice try, monkeys. fuck with my TV and bitches get CUT.

    #BLEED

  159. i am currently wrapping up a case vs. the milwaukee, WI board of the public stadium district RE: relief pitcher will smith not coming out to “gettin’ jiggy with it”

    #MILLIONS

  160. we’re going to base our case on this study by the star tribune that states, “Credit scores vary ‘substantially’ by race”

    if it’s legal to discriminate based on “credit bureau” ratings, and those ratings have a demonstrable racial bias, then either shut down the credit bureaus, or let my client go. if a bitch ain’t shit, you must acquit. so, all that’s left is pillow talk with the silly rabbit. your honor… i’ll leave you with an obvious decision, i’ve got a plane to catch to consult the NCAA. we’ve only smeared 3 student athlete felons today, I HAVE WORK TO DO.

    lateskies,
    -toby

  161. How you looking for Saturday? We can set up a hangout if you can’t make it. You can at least watch.

  162. I was thinking about star wars and that part where Lando says “How you doing, Chewbacca?” And then I kept saying it over and over in my head. And then I started saying it in slow motion. And then I started saying it real fast. And then I had a vision that someone else, somewhere had the same idea. Thank you, google and youtube:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndRICjSpqeE

  163. trailer park boys wrapped their swearnet movie and shooting for season 9 starts today in sunnyvale. bubbles is there

  164. so, aaron rodgers is now banging olivia munn… so, now he has championship rings, all the money in the world, and pretty solid set of tits to grab on while he pounds a top tier vag.

    2015: 0-16.

  165. cussionhead is when olivia munn blows you, but you don’t remember it happening.

  166. stupid brewer game not televised today…. instead, they are showing high school bowling from ashwabanon…. uh…. REALLY?

  167. watching the stupid reds instead. i need a rule clarification… one of these slaves has a giant shell on over his hand… he didn’t wear it to hit… he got to first, then put on a new set of batting gloves that were more like mittens… but they extend like 2 inches+ beyond his fingers. why doesn’t everyone use these? it seems to me he is getting a 2″ advantage when stealing bases.

    #CHEATERS
    #BANNEDFROMSOCCERBALL

  168. Even if trout sucks, you got shit return on your trade. You could have had anything except my Miggy or Timmer’s Brauny.

    That finger slave is mine. Leave him alone.

  169. i made rach-o an aero-press coffee, then let her know about DudeFest 2014 (Basement Edition)… i suggested she bring the kids and see if A-Jizzle was free for a playdate while i stack chips across town, but she just said i should go by myself…. but she was hiding plans… immediately said “ok, and we’re going to my sister’s house for memorial day”… well played, sirma’am.

  170. cuddy is back next week. francisco is filling my emptiest bucket.

    1st rule of roto club: no punting.

    #NEEDSAVES

  171. weird price is right today… at the beginning where everyone is crazy excited, a bunch of people started sitting down… then they would pop back up as they saw other people standing, but by the 2nd name called, EVERYONE was sitting down. real weird. i think someone could do a PhD thesis on the group think and instigators that made it happen. this is what you’ve been waiting in line for 5 hours for… STAND THE FUCK UP. GO CRAZY.

    #WHATHAPPENED

  172. i offered trout to timmer and didn’t ask for braun and he said no. i offered him to other people… added in a pretty good guy and asked for their best 2 guys… no go. offered for their best guy and so-so guy… no. cuddy + kuntrod was what i wanted. we’ll see… i’ve fallen off since the trade, but i think i’m still net up on where i’d be without having done it…

  173. abbradibbadow was a classic packers draft… give the local boy a nod. #CRONIE

    olivia should break it off with arod, bang the badow, and all season long rodgers will hatefuck the ball right into his hands.

    POINTS!

  174. BRO, we BOTH got that stank on us.

    i can tell. I CAN TELL!#%(*^!#%(^*!#%()&*!%#*(&!^#*(&!^#)&*(!^#

  175. card services is now calling my house and claiming to be the wisconsin state police… and they did it on my voicemail without masking the caller ID. WHO WANTS THE CASE?

    or is felony impersonation not something the justice department is interest in pursuing as it doesn’t align with their “core values” of getting re-elected?

    #FUCKADUCK

  176. That does seem pretty illegal and sueable. Onezzy, can we get a ruling? I’d ask cal, but… you know.

    #suk

  177. Astros manager Bo Porter said Friday that he will use Chad Qualls to close games.

    The price just went up, dikturd.

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