Double Wedding All The Way Across The Sky

The Wedding of the (Pick One: Week, Month, Year, Decade, Century, Millenium) went off without any hitches at all this weekend!  Spacebee and I were married in front or dearest family and friends in Madison on August 28th, 2010 and I couldn’t be happier.  There will be much more to come once we get the myriad photos and videos processed and ready for viewing, so for now we’ll focus on the key things we learned this weekend:

1. The Don does Good Work as a best man, including the ability to carry 20,000 dental remedies at all times.
2. The Madddddddddddddd Scientist and Rach-O are gonna have a kid. Jesus Christ; nice curveball scientist. Can’t wait for this.
3. Wedding Summer is over and done (and not too soon)
4. It’s funny but scary when someone whips a pizza fastball-style at someone’s head from 5 feet away
5. The UW Band is terrifically awesome at weddings
6. Isthmus DJs are fucking incredible

Again, more to come.  For now we’re chilling out in the San Fran area, and we’ll be up in Napa come the end of the week.  I think we’ll get the pics back within a few weeks and then I’ll put up a little somethin-somethin for y’all to look at.

All The Way, Man. All. The. Way.

Hum dee doe, taking out the garbag– OMG. OH MY FUCKING GOD!

That’s a full-on double rainbow all across the sky. For a minute there I thought it was turning into a TRIPLE rainbow, but alas I was wrong.

Bachelor No More

The bachelor party has come and gone, and we’re now speeding northward to Michigan’s fabled upper peninsula. Big time thanks to all who traveled into Madison for a simple afternoon of grilled sausages, a beanbag toss championship, and an unrivaled night of gambling. Point of fact: Tim of psmgc.com fame and I won the damn thing and split the kitty of $120. In the weird time between bags and poker we took on all comers in cash games of bags and won even more money that (at least in my case) would be piddled away in a late-night basement craps game.

The food spread was the Ultimate: brat patties, hot & mild Italians, and some Hebrew Nationals. Mom’s delicious pasta salad and raccoon bars rounded out the buffet options. I really can’t rant and rave enough about D&G Meats out of Poynette, WI; their brats and Italians were just the best.

Late night gambling was, in a word, fun. I was the first goddamn one out of poker so I was unable to repeat wwhazz’s feat of winning his own tourney. After that we just gambled more and more, until the basement reeked of gambling and money.

If my calendar is correct, Cal is getting married to a French princess this week. Send him your best wishes through telepathic signals, and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see him (and punch him) at our shindig in a few weeks.

And with that, I bid you adieu. Whazzmaster.com is closed until August 13th; leave your message at the beep.

Winning Weekend

Shake-of-the-Day

Spacebee and I headed down Illinois-way for a surprise birthday extravadanza for Spacebee’s Mom.  It was a fun time all around, but the highlight was kinda-sorta an accident.

It was a surprise that spacebee and I would attend, so we had to be kept under lock and key until the party on Saturday night.  As such I demanded to go play golf with my future Brother-in-Law on Saturday morning.  After an early deluge of rain we headed out Cedar Dell for some country golfin’ action.  I played, literally, my worst game of the year and lost $8 to my opponent (almost the max I could lose.)

After a few drinks at the club house we headed to another country tavern so that I could sample the Best Burger in Town.  It was, as advertised, delicious.

Finally, as we moseyed back to the house my ever-alert passenger mentioned in passing, “you realize we’re close to Stoney’s, don’t you?”  Stoney’s is the greatest bar in Illinois, and high in the running for Best Bar Worldwide (though it would never top the Main Depot.)  Stoney’s is 1/2 liquor store and 1/2 bar.  There are two dart boards and Golden Tee classic.  Enough said.

So we stopped in for one (Just One!) and chatted with the bartender and other patron (singular).  Just as we were finishing our drinks my partner sputtered a little bit of drink and said “Quince!” (the bartenders name was Quincy.  I swear.)  “Quince!” he said, “lemme get the shake of the day.”  He plopped a dollar on the bar and rolled for shit.  He passed me the dice cup and said “Zach, you’re up.”  The next things all happened simultaneously:

• The other patron said “I hope you win but not before I roll.”
• With one hand I produced a $5 bill and told Quince that I’d need change
• With the other hand I tipped the cup and rolled five 3′s, the result of which was that…
• …I won $1000

After that there was lots of running around, yelling, high-fives, and congratulatory High Life’s.  Also: lots of reminiscing about previous winners and the circumstances of the wins.  Also: drinking.

Well, I used up my dice-based luck for the next decade– what did you guys do this weekend?

PoleCam Online

I’ve added the PoleCam to the list of links, and I’ve set my alarms for 3pm (central) to watch the Madddd Variety Hour.  Will we see The Dancing Duo of Willa and Quince? Will Quince HOLLLLARIT?  Will a tad come out of the water? What does a bald Maddddd look like any-damn-way?  Tune in at three and see for yourself… IT’S LIKE YOU’RE IN EAU CLAIRE!

The Don of Eau Claire

I didn’t do much over the July 4th weekend.  Spacebee had to work so I puttered around the house, did laundry, played some League, and then watched Brock Lesnar hulk up and kill Carwin. HOOOOOOOGAN! We’ll even be presenting a replay tonight for those that missed it.  The Lieben fight was also great; that dude is like a Terminator.  You punch him in the face, he doesn’t flinch, and then he punches you in YOUR face.  Take that, jerk.

The threat of thunderstorms hung over the midwest late in the weekend and I sat down to think about the Don of Eau Claire and where he goes during T-Storms.  A tree, I suppose, or possibly a social club.

I got my iPhone 4 in the mail a little whiles back.  It’s pretty ok… super fast compared to my 3G.  Seriously, when I upgraded the 3G to iOS4 it ran like a snail fucked another slow thing and produced slower offspring.  The main problem with the iPhone 4 is the highly technical task “making calls.”  As a little computer in my pocket the iPhone 4 is awesome.  As a phone it’s pretty terrible.  I blame it partly on AT&T’s fucking terrible service, and partly on Apple’s terrible antenna design.  I heard that The Eternal Rumor (i.e., iPhone on Verizon) is going to come true in January 2011 so I guess we’ll have to wait until then to see how much Fucking AT&T is a part of this mess.

I wonder where Cal is.  In a tree, I suppose, or perhaps a social club.

Hapy Burfing

Let’s get this out of the way: hapy burfing, bellygirl and good luck with your new griddle.  You could have had ours but you didn’t ask.

Thanks to all my homeys who came over last weekend and showed Joe they could roll– I apologize for ‘falling asleep’ right there on the couch.  UFC was only ok, with the main event result bringing things up slightly from the basement where it started.  Chuck Liddell SMASHED == perfectly fine result in my mind.

We’re hitting the start of the busiest summer in recent memory so some of these threads’ll have to hold ya for awhile, whazzers.  Hapy Burfing Everyone, Young And Old!

Crash!

Spacebee and I strolled, ambled, moseyed, etc. up to the Jamba Juice on State Street yesterday and on our way home we passed a crazy car crash at Johnson & State.  One car had run into the Cosi previously Stillwaters) and another was sitting in a trash heap on the sidewalk outside Triangle Market.

We wondered what could have caused the carnage and then promptly forgot about it by the time I got home.  In relegating the weirdness to wwhazz this morning he wondered what had actually happened.  Good question.  After a little eenternet search I have the full story:

A 78-year-old woman driving the wrong way on Henry Street started a bizarre chain of events which started with a car crash and ended up with both drivers and two pedestrians injured and an outdoor cafe damaged, authorities reported.

Seriously, go read that thing.  Crazy.

In Pneumothorax News, I had my follow-up checkup last week and everything looks A-OK.  Hurray!

Hey Aqualung!

Funny thing happened on the way to my connection in the Denver airport: I coughed and my right lung collapsed. “Spontaneous pneumothorax” they tell me. Who’s they? Why, the superb staff at the University Hospital here in Denver! After being whisked from the airport in an ambulance I had tests done and then they put in a chest tube to suck the misplaced air out of my body.

I missed my connection.

Current status: hooked up to a bunch of machines with a tube sticking out of my side. Got some vicodin. There’s a kid up the hall screaming about his finger. They very well may not let me back on the plane (pressurized environment), so maybe I’ll grab my bindle and ride the rails back to Wisconsin. Or maybe I’ll ask them to add a couple more tubes and go all Wolf 359 on cal.

Raise a Twank

Found one of the best TNG episodes ever on my dvr today: Second Chances.  My apologies for the length; this one gets tricky.  It also includes the greatest star trek poker scene in media history at 43 minutes in.  Away we go:

JAZZ PARTY IN TEN FORWARD. ANY REQUESTS? NIGHTFOX! bitch. BOODLE-BOODLE. TIME FOR AN AWAY MISSION: WTF?!?!? RIKER NUMBER TWO?! TRANSPORTER REFLECTION OF THE ION SHIELD! EIGGGGGHHHHHTTT YEEAAAAAAAARS! CMD RIKER WANTS WORK, LT RIKER WANTS TROI, TROI WANTS A BONER– TAI CHI! 5 CARD DRAW, NO LIMIT: LT.RIKER BET 50, WORF FOLD, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE 10(!), DATA CALL 60, LT.RIKER STRING RAISE 100, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE 20(!!), DATA FOLD, LT.RIKER STRING RAISE 300, CMD.RIKER STRING RAISE “EVERYTHIN YOU GOT LEFT”, LT.RIKER FOLD.  fold? FOLDDDDDDDDD!  DON’T YOU DARE GO OVER MY HEAD! BOODLE-BOODLE: TIME FOR AN AWAY MISSION! WTF? DEEP HOLE IN THE GROUND! HALP! GRAB MY HAND! DROP ME! NO! YES! NO! DATABASE RETRIEVED! THOMAS RIKER, SHIPPING OUT… DON’T FORGET YOUR NEW TROMBONE!