Double Wedding All The Way Across The Sky

The Wedding of the (Pick One: Week, Month, Year, Decade, Century, Millenium) went off without any hitches at all this weekend!  Spacebee and I were married in front or dearest family and friends in Madison on August 28th, 2010 and I couldn’t be happier.  There will be much more to come once we get the myriad photos and videos processed and ready for viewing, so for now we’ll focus on the key things we learned this weekend:

1. The Don does Good Work as a best man, including the ability to carry 20,000 dental remedies at all times.
2. The Madddddddddddddd Scientist and Rach-O are gonna have a kid. Jesus Christ; nice curveball scientist. Can’t wait for this.
3. Wedding Summer is over and done (and not too soon)
4. It’s funny but scary when someone whips a pizza fastball-style at someone’s head from 5 feet away
5. The UW Band is terrifically awesome at weddings
6. Isthmus DJs are fucking incredible

Again, more to come.  For now we’re chilling out in the San Fran area, and we’ll be up in Napa come the end of the week.  I think we’ll get the pics back within a few weeks and then I’ll put up a little somethin-somethin for y’all to look at.

Bachelor No More

The bachelor party has come and gone, and we’re now speeding northward to Michigan’s fabled upper peninsula. Big time thanks to all who traveled into Madison for a simple afternoon of grilled sausages, a beanbag toss championship, and an unrivaled night of gambling. Point of fact: Tim of psmgc.com fame and I won the damn thing and split the kitty of $120. In the weird time between bags and poker we took on all comers in cash games of bags and won even more money that (at least in my case) would be piddled away in a late-night basement craps game.

The food spread was the Ultimate: brat patties, hot & mild Italians, and some Hebrew Nationals. Mom’s delicious pasta salad and raccoon bars rounded out the buffet options. I really can’t rant and rave enough about D&G Meats out of Poynette, WI; their brats and Italians were just the best.

Late night gambling was, in a word, fun. I was the first goddamn one out of poker so I was unable to repeat wwhazz’s feat of winning his own tourney. After that we just gambled more and more, until the basement reeked of gambling and money.

If my calendar is correct, Cal is getting married to a French princess this week. Send him your best wishes through telepathic signals, and maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see him (and punch him) at our shindig in a few weeks.

And with that, I bid you adieu. Whazzmaster.com is closed until August 13th; leave your message at the beep.

Winning Weekend

Shake-of-the-Day

Spacebee and I headed down Illinois-way for a surprise birthday extravadanza for Spacebee’s Mom.  It was a fun time all around, but the highlight was kinda-sorta an accident.

It was a surprise that spacebee and I would attend, so we had to be kept under lock and key until the party on Saturday night.  As such I demanded to go play golf with my future Brother-in-Law on Saturday morning.  After an early deluge of rain we headed out Cedar Dell for some country golfin’ action.  I played, literally, my worst game of the year and lost $8 to my opponent (almost the max I could lose.)

After a few drinks at the club house we headed to another country tavern so that I could sample the Best Burger in Town.  It was, as advertised, delicious.

Finally, as we moseyed back to the house my ever-alert passenger mentioned in passing, “you realize we’re close to Stoney’s, don’t you?”  Stoney’s is the greatest bar in Illinois, and high in the running for Best Bar Worldwide (though it would never top the Main Depot.)  Stoney’s is 1/2 liquor store and 1/2 bar.  There are two dart boards and Golden Tee classic.  Enough said.

So we stopped in for one (Just One!) and chatted with the bartender and other patron (singular).  Just as we were finishing our drinks my partner sputtered a little bit of drink and said “Quince!” (the bartenders name was Quincy.  I swear.)  “Quince!” he said, “lemme get the shake of the day.”  He plopped a dollar on the bar and rolled for shit.  He passed me the dice cup and said “Zach, you’re up.”  The next things all happened simultaneously:

• The other patron said “I hope you win but not before I roll.”
• With one hand I produced a $5 bill and told Quince that I’d need change
• With the other hand I tipped the cup and rolled five 3′s, the result of which was that…
• …I won $1000

After that there was lots of running around, yelling, high-fives, and congratulatory High Life’s.  Also: lots of reminiscing about previous winners and the circumstances of the wins.  Also: drinking.

Well, I used up my dice-based luck for the next decade– what did you guys do this weekend?

The Don of Eau Claire

I didn’t do much over the July 4th weekend.  Spacebee had to work so I puttered around the house, did laundry, played some League, and then watched Brock Lesnar hulk up and kill Carwin. HOOOOOOOGAN! We’ll even be presenting a replay tonight for those that missed it.  The Lieben fight was also great; that dude is like a Terminator.  You punch him in the face, he doesn’t flinch, and then he punches you in YOUR face.  Take that, jerk.

The threat of thunderstorms hung over the midwest late in the weekend and I sat down to think about the Don of Eau Claire and where he goes during T-Storms.  A tree, I suppose, or possibly a social club.

I got my iPhone 4 in the mail a little whiles back.  It’s pretty ok… super fast compared to my 3G.  Seriously, when I upgraded the 3G to iOS4 it ran like a snail fucked another slow thing and produced slower offspring.  The main problem with the iPhone 4 is the highly technical task “making calls.”  As a little computer in my pocket the iPhone 4 is awesome.  As a phone it’s pretty terrible.  I blame it partly on AT&T’s fucking terrible service, and partly on Apple’s terrible antenna design.  I heard that The Eternal Rumor (i.e., iPhone on Verizon) is going to come true in January 2011 so I guess we’ll have to wait until then to see how much Fucking AT&T is a part of this mess.

I wonder where Cal is.  In a tree, I suppose, or perhaps a social club.

Hapy Burfing

Let’s get this out of the way: hapy burfing, bellygirl and good luck with your new griddle.  You could have had ours but you didn’t ask.

Thanks to all my homeys who came over last weekend and showed Joe they could roll– I apologize for ‘falling asleep’ right there on the couch.  UFC was only ok, with the main event result bringing things up slightly from the basement where it started.  Chuck Liddell SMASHED == perfectly fine result in my mind.

We’re hitting the start of the busiest summer in recent memory so some of these threads’ll have to hold ya for awhile, whazzers.  Hapy Burfing Everyone, Young And Old!

Whatta Weekend

Spacebee's Birthday Hat

It was quite a celebratory weekend here in Madison; we pretty much partied straight through from Friday at 5pm when we set out for a fondue dinner of epic proportions.  Three hours later I was filled with tiny bits of boiled meat, veggies, and chocolate-covered rice krispies.  We met a few pals and then dove into more celebrations, and long story short I woke up Saturday morning not feeling the greatest.

A Spacebee coworker was retiring and had a bash at the Hilldale Great Dane on Saturday.  Free beer from 4pm until 7pm started things off, and I hilariously fell asleep at wwhazz’s with a beer in hand around midnight.  Hey: two consecutive party nights don’t agree with my 31 year old bones.  So sue me.

Alas, I think the Iowa trip has been delayed.  Consolations to belly for her loss, and hope everything goes well next weekend.  Diamond Jo will always be there, and I’ll be ready to stick my finger in the small of his back and whisper “gimme everything you got.”

I’m super behind on TNG on my DVR… need to sit down and catch up. I saw that Time’ Arrow is on there and excitement can’t describe my feelings.  HELP A FORTY NINER! HE’S GOT A BAD COUGH! OH NOES, AN ALIEN STOLED HIS LIFE FORCE! GUINAN, HALP! TIME WARP! PICARD IS A DANDY FOP! DATA IS A FRENCHMAN! SAMUEL CLEMENS OF THE 24TH CENTURY!

Downhill From Here

Zach & Stacy at Big Powderhorn

Well, we got back safe and sound from Da Up North, Eh?  Had a ball in Bessemer with spacebee and the family.  As I mentioned earlier, we were afforded the unique opportunity to watch The Super Bowl at bucketheads in uptown Rhinelander.  They had $1.50 Miller Lites and free Hores Durves set out in back.  I drank three buckets of Jameson and then Stacy drove us ‘home’ to the Quality Inn.

I goddamned hate Super Bowl commercials.  “Here’s a talking (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s a wacky man-child (verbing) a (noun), buy our shit!”  “Here’s Tim Tebow, don’t get an abortion or prenatal care!”   Eat shit, Tim Tebow.

I skied for three days and fell down three times; that’s a shitload better than last year and I consider it a resounding success.  Let the mountains ring with God’s graciousness and ma-jest-fucking-ty!  We also returned to the infamous Pub N’ Grub for Thursday night karaoke.  All the old pals from last year were there and, again, by the end of the evening I was Marcus-n-Mcteague’n it with all of them.  Six dollar pitchers of Miller Lite and Jameson shots will do that, son. On the way back home I desperately wanted to go to (in order) the Watersmeet casino, the Lake of the Torches casino, and Ho-Chunk.  By the time we got south enough to consider Ho-Chunk, however, I just wanted to sleep on the couch the rest of the day. So… no Ho-Chunk.  I still owe wwhazz a night at the Canfield for his birthday, though, so anyone that wants in on that is welcome.

Wwhazz, thanks for doing our cat for a week.

There’s not a lot of upcoming events here at Whazzmaster Central– spacebee’s birthday is at the end of the month and at the same time (coincidentally) as my Yearly Start of Daily Wishing It Would Warm Up Already, Dammit.  I got her a birthday gift: The Big Minnie. Black. Clean. Tight Curl. Turquoise bead wrap.  Now that I look at the description that way I can’t decide whether I bought her a hat or a dildo. Say lah vee.

I really, really gotta get TNG on the Tivo.  We’ll make a space for it amid Spacebee’s ten thousand episodes of Criminal Minds.  There must be some room in all that serial killing for Data’s quest for humanity or Troi in a skin-tight leotard.  I assume that somewhere in history someone has already made a joke about a leotard being a retarded leopard, but the word still looks weird when I type it.

Pickles and grapes!

My Saturday

Today I spent an hour at Garys Hobby Center and then ate a sub from Lee’s Deli. All in all a great experience!

Tromboneulous

I have nothing to say, more or less. Got switched to a new group at work, and the year (and decade) is coming to a close. Poo poo pachu. This weekend I’ll be at the Wisconsin/Northwestern game down in Illinois, and next week is Whazzgiving.

The soup club is on: I delivered a white chicken chili and chemical burned my hands for, like, the millionth goddamn time.  Here’s what to get me for xmas: plastic gloves and a sign that says “USE THESE WHEN CUTTING CHILI PEPPERS YOU FUCK.”

In video game news, I finished up Borderlands this week (though the first DLC drops on 24th and I’ll be getting that) just in time to grab Assassin’s Creed II.  I’m a couple of hours into AC2 and so far it’s fucking great.  Also, my new gaming compy is coming on Monday and then I’ll be able to start Dragon Age. Woo!

That whole Golden Tee thing is a bummer, but I have faith that we’ll get a replacement eventually; and hopefully when we do we’ll have somewhere to put it.

Union. Reunion.

Rain Check

Attended Spacebee’s 10 year high school reunion last night down in Illinois.  It was a pretty fun time; I met a lot of her old ‘pals’ and had some Jameson.  Mandy’s awesome pa bought us a round of drinks via the token system at a local bar afterwards.

To follow up on the previous post, I beat Borderlands last week and started the second playthrough to try to get to level 50.  I started Dragon Age: Origins on my Macbook but it crashed every time I shut it down so I decided to wait on really diving in until I get a new gaming rig that can handle the game in all its glory.

Finally, a heads-up to wwhazz that this looks like a good solution for the project we were talking about.  I checked on costs and depending on how long it ends up being, we’d be looking at no more than $300 to publish plus $15-$20 per copy to purchase.  That’s incredibly doable– let’s get it started.