I apparently exist in a social vacuum wherein no one will lay claim to my allegiance. Traditional media insists that “Generation X” is defined as anyone born between 1965 and 1977. On the other side of the fence, (and believe me, this varies more and is somewhat less specific) I’ve seen the media define Generation Y (or “What Came Next,” or any of the other banal shit they use to define generations these days) as anyone born between 1980 and 2000. I just checked Wikipedia, however, and it defines Y as being born between 1978 and 1999. Whatever; the point is I was born in 1978. The Point Is that I’m either the youngest Gen Xer or the Grandaddy of the Gen Yers (I mean, christ, I’m sharing that classification with some 6 year old shit right now, and I’m 28).

All in all, who cares what fucking generation I fall into? Some do, I shouldn’t, but I make a note of it just because Klosterman’s book is about all the popular culture Gen Xers, people who fall into that age range, experienced and it is the shit I grew up in. Sugary cereal, fucking Star Wars and Saved by the Bell. The major difference, and perhaps the reason I shouldn’t be considered part of Gen X is that while I experienced all the same stuff, it was at a vastly different level of perception. These kids were 15 years old in 1985, I was 7. It’s funny that Klosterman relates that Empire Strikes Back was the first movie he attended in a theater, it was my first movie-going experience as well, but being 3 I don’t remember much beyond being vaguely scared of Dagobah and wanting to own Yoda as a pet.

The other place we part ways is Music; I feel comfortable saying that I didn’t really listen to music in any way until I was a freshman in high school and I got my first CD player. My first CD ever: Weird Al. My second CD ever: Pearl Jam Vs. That puts me so out of the realm of musical consciousness that I’m almost embarrassed to admit it, but there you go. Everything I know today about 80s music (and boy oh boy it still ain’t much) I’ve learned in the last 5 years.

I think I’m a weirdo, though. My memory is horrible (bordering on tragic, which borders on having some sort of early Alzheimer’s) and I don’t remember things well at all. Talk to me about something that happened 6 months ago; you’ll see. In the end, I’ll probably need whazzmaster.com just to chronicle my life for me. “What? I knew a guy called ‘the madd scientist’? What?”

Five years passed: I’ve moved it four times (three with Judd’s much-appreciated help) a total of 10 flights of stairs and it is a heavy fucker. I haven’t played it much lately but when Scientist was out here earlier this year we hit a few rounds. Fun times, fun times.

I just sold it for $500 plus a $20 tip for helping the guy bring it down to his van. The dream has died.

*sigh* … say lah vee. Feel free to reminisce about how whazz has affected your lives. I know I will tonight. Break out the whiskey.

The Shrine on our desk.

Can I still call myself whazzmaster? Or do I have to change the name of the website? So many questions.

Mine: I want to say Vandover and The Brute, but my revelation there was not so much something about life but something about the construction of literature itself (as in, the act of authoring).  Instead, I may have to go with a nonfiction book such as Carl Sagan’s The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark.  It brutally deconstructs the way that humanity has, for centuries, invoked superstition and religion to fill the gaps of human knowledge.  I still read it every so often when I want to see Carl Sagan call alien-abduction advocates “crazy”.

That may not be the best example, but it informed my rational outlook on life and so it did affect me.  McTeague: I love, and love reading it, but did it affect me personally? I’m not sure.

And you?

By the way, Scientist, I don’t know if you ever ended up watching the Firefly series on DVD, but I found something else you might be interested in. I’d heard lots of good stuff about the new Battlestar Galactica series on SciFi channel so I bought the miniseries on DVD. It’s pretty decent, and they actually tell a somewhat logical story given the background. I’d recommend picking up the miniseries DVD, and if you like it get the first season DVD later.

Finally, I had my Intuit review this week and got a promotion. I’m now a Senior Software Engineer, which is cool. It also just so happens that July 9th was my five year anniversary with Intuit. Five years ago roundabouts wwhazz, samahama, and rock chalk escorted me out of Madison and into California. It’s been a long, strange road whazzmaster. Thanks for being there with me…

whizz whazz

I’m so sorry.

I’d like to class up the joint a bit and I’ve got some idears, but they’re not quite ready for primetime yet. Plus, you jerks would probably wreck it anyway. In any case, I’ll be pushing tetris blocks behind the scenes, young jeezy, and you can bet your ass that when I get a Four-Row-Special that shit’ll go bling-blung. Until then feel free to amuse yourself. And if, by the grace of god I ever finish my special project, and no one is left to see it… fine, I’ll go get new friends.

– A whole new world/A new fantastic point of view/No one to tell us no/Or where to go/Or say we’re only dreaming

(Moved the quotes behind the jump; click through to view.)

You’ve got you’re Beat The Streak boasts and threats…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by zachery
I’m halfway to Wirkus’ record 8-in-a-row. Lookout, old man, look in my face and see your destiny.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by zachery
Speaking of Ha, remember when I said “HaHaHa!” because Soriano just got a hit? I remember like it was yesterday, Wirkus. I’m gonna punch you in the balls next time I see you, old man. Better jack off into a cup so you and bellgirl can have babies sometime in the future.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by zachery
Ordonez has two hits today. That makes six in a row you homos. Cal, you’re dead. Wirkus, give up.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by cal
i emailed greg and told him to pick some guys in advance since he’s off to MN for a week and he wrote this: “yeah they only let you pick 7 days ahead… but i should have access to a computer… fuckin moneypenny at 8″ everybody hates you moneypenny.

…you’re Frenchy yelling at Scientist…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Frenchy
GENERAL WARNING TO ALL WHAZZERS: Don’t let the Scientist run free w/out somebody havin an eye on him. If he thinks you’re home, but you’re not, he’ll beat on the door until someone shows up. He will knock out the peep hole & piss on the doorway. When you do arrive & say what the fuck are you doin, he will look perplexed, deny it all & say it must have been some street kids. Even though he’ll still have his dick in his hand. Can’t wait to get a new complaint from my neighbors. Oh yeah…he also cheats at drinkin games.

…you’re Cal nonsense…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by cal
that is not all. i bought julianna hatfield a gin and tonic last night. but actually it’s not a very good story – she didn’t really care.

…you’re on-the-job bitching…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by wirkuswhazz
open letter to all wedding havers So you are having a wedding. It’s stressfull. Here is a tip: be fucking nice to the help. Goddamnit. Tip us. Say thank you. Don’t take out your anger on us. Not if you’re the bride, the groom or the mother of the bride. If the flowers are pink instead of white, fucking deal with it. It is not the end of the world. And another thing… if you are mean to us, keep this in mind: we help make your food. We know where your tooth brushes are. We know where you live

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by wirkuswhazz
ok, the bitch that inspired my last post just got hers. The bride of the groom came in and chewed her out– it was like in Jurassic Park when the T-rex eats the raptor. Also, the t-rex got tears in her eyes because the room she was in did not have a table (keep in mind tables are movable). Rock Chalk, if the room you are in is missing a table, don’t freak out. I’m sure they can bring one in from somewhere else. Ok, off to MN. This is my kind of vacation. Our only plans? We have a hotel and tickets to Sunday’s game. The rest of the weekend is up in the air. Whazz on. Ps marksie, I’ll call you this week. Me and Bellgirl might be in for the 4th. Whazz on.

…you’re wrestling discussions…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Grand Masta Caspa
in more important news, Moneypenny did you watch RAW last nite. Kane finally showed his face. I don’t know about anyone else (mainly Moneypenny) but I never thought this would happen.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Frenchy
He actually showed his face last week w/ a fukt up hair cut (half shaved)…obviously shaved it all this week. I didn’t think they’d show it so they could still make money off the mask.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by zachery
1. Yeah, I saw him. Looked like he got hit by the Mary Kay Cosmetics Bus on his way to the arena. By GAWD! He walked through fire, brimstone, and eyeliner to get at the Undertaker!

…you’re random paratrooper entrance of an old friend…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Sweet Mandy
Hey guys. I just wanted to let my presence be known on whazzmaster.com. I wish I had something interesting to say about the Brewers or whazzing scores or something, but I don’t. Reading everyone’s posts is entertaining enough! So – big wedding coming up – I hope nobody had cold feet! Only kidding. Any plans for the fourth of July?

…you’re wedding talk…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Rock Chalk
Ok Jenny, the hair appointments are made. There are 6 appointments with 2 people at Images on the corner of Spring St. & Newman. The times are 9:00, 9:30, and 10:00 with Sue Fortier and 9:30, 10:00, and 10:30 with Lance. I’m thinking my mom, sister, and I will take the ones with Sue, since mine is the one at 10:00, and it’ll take an hour, so you don’t have to be there until 9:30 or later. I’ll give you first crack at the Lance appts – which one do you want? Over and out.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Jen
Can I have the one at 10:30 a.m.? Should I call and “claim” my appointment?
This man better be gay, and you better realize how much I value your friendships to have someone named “Lance” do my hair. You all know how I feel about lances. They foul.

---

[July 1, 2003 04:57 PM] by Rock Chalk
Ok Jenny; I have you down for a 10:30 appointment on Saturday, July 12. Unfortunately, Lance is not gay. I am guessing pictures will start around 12:30 at the Lighthouse, but this will have to be later confirmed. Talk to you soon!!

…you’re random timmah-talk…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by zachery
No one probably cares, but I just beat Zelda. I can’t help but feel… unsatisfied with the ending.

---

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by timmah
So you’ve name it “Zelda” huh? I’ve named my Thor. And I’m usually really satisfied by the ending.

…???…

[October 9, 2003 10:06 AM] by Grand Masta Caspa
i think i’m going to buy a mask and wear it in the wedding and call myself Sugar

Wow, just a funny, funny selection of comments from back when we’d have more than 100 on a single thread. It makes it even funnier that the timestamps are messed up so that at times it looks like someone time-traveled to the past to post a response. It’s even funnier to think that someone would travel backwards through time with the singular purpose of calling someone or something gay on an internet message board, then hop back into their time machine and go Back to the Future.

RAJ OUT.

Watch and learn, Cal. I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve. Here’s a test to see how awesome your English skrills really are. I will pwn you.

English Genius You scored 93% Beginner, 100% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 77% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can’t find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don’t. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you’re not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 35% on Beginner You scored higher than 73% on Intermediate You scored higher than 48% on Advanced You scored higher than 72% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

moneypenny is and has always been the devoted and dependable
moneypenny is the only character aside from bond to have appeared in every film
moneypenny is also wearing uniform
moneypenny is vice president of research and technology of manyworlds
moneypenny is possibly unique in bridging the gap between the temp agency and the independent virtual assistant
moneypenny is your australian virtual assistant
moneypenny is proud to boast the following australia companies as clients
moneypenny is available to speak wherever there are people who are interested in being encouraged in the faith
moneypenny is president of emaginit
moneypenny is a “quick strike” idea man who carved out a successful living by marketing ideas rather than elaborate advertising campaigns
moneypenny is played by babs
moneypenny is here all day
moneypenny is a virtual reception
moneypenny is a productivity tool which enables the processing of a mass volume of documents
moneypenny is always there to welcome bond home from his adventures in far off places
moneypenny is now famous for delivering set after set of high
moneypenny is britain’s overwhelming favourite “dream pa”
moneypenny is overshadowed by her new
moneypenny is desperate and ‘m’ is worried
moneypenny is trying to put together his best six minutes worth of material
moneypenny is a 7/8 chilean female
moneypenny is rescued
moneypenny is a james bond character
moneypenny is required for routing editing a moneypenny license is not necessary to use servant
moneypenny is the
moneypenny is in his 4th and final year performing comedy at ou
moneypenny is employed by the client or any related business or entity in a permanent position
moneypenny is one of the few constants on the ground in australia who represents and understands the issues of the domestic and off shore producer and lobbies
moneypenny is a desktop management tool that helps keep a desktop tidy
moneypenny is being asked to explain the epidemic of corporate scandals
moneypenny is in
moneypenny is allways the one to inform bond to report to m’s office
moneypenny is the one and only person in the world who bond can truly call a friend
moneypenny is safely returned
moneypenny is as
moneypenny is quite a funny role to play
moneypenny is billed by his accountant in march for the time he has spent on the questions of the tax office about his declaration
moneypenny is his vision of a bright new tomorrow
moneypenny is the labor representative on arc
moneypenny is still around? geez i thought they broke up?
moneypenny is inmiddels 10 maanden in business en beschikt over 150 virtuele assistenten die werken voor meer dan 50 opdrachtgevers
moneypenny is the last screen before you start the level
moneypenny is currently the international and legislative representative for the transport workers union of america
moneypenny is being held in the crawford county jail on a $10
moneypenny is shown to have a life outside the office
moneypenny is there just to provide some flirtatious commentary that will inspire laughter
moneypenny is president and owner of sel
moneypenny is a labor member of the amtrak reform council
moneypenny is an
moneypenny is a superb guitar pop band from sydney
moneypenny is more qualified that most to talk about the issue
moneypenny is james bond’s girlfriend or secretary
moneypenny is
moneypenny is no longer the sad spinster of
moneypenny is no longer the rather sad
moneypenny is your one
moneypenny is the one woman bond has never had an intimate relationship
moneypenny is teasing and catty
moneypenny is a middle
moneypenny is and has always been the devoted and dependable secretary of one mr
moneypenny is tuthill’s sales coordinator at its grimsley
moneypenny is vice president of manyworlds consulting
moneypenny is leaving covanta and on friday becomes cfo of 7
moneypenny is a bay 1990
moneypenny is a lecturer in banking & finance gene shearer is a biologist with the us national institute of
moneypenny is a client of drno; moneypenny`s current default domain is sfi
moneypenny is a team of professional film and television accountants with over 20 years’ experience
moneypenny is as good as ever
moneypenny is m’s personal secretary
moneypenny is the only woman that james can’t have?
moneypenny is director of reach student services
moneypenny is the only character other than bond to be in all of the official bond
moneypenny is murdered by a returned

For those unaware, in my first semester of college I took the five credit Math 222 course. I had taken AP Calculus in high school and saw Second Year calculus as the next logical step. What I didn’t know, however, was that the entire year of content in AP Calculus was only the first 7 or so weeks of Math 221 (i.e., First Year Calculus). The end result of the class was a five credit F that I spent the rest of my college career attempting to recover from.

Looking back, there were more than a handful of reasons that I received that F in Math 222, and I will attempt to explore them in this post. So consider this post-mortem for my benefit mainly, though take what you will from it.

Summary of The Reasons

1. Math 222 not a continuation of AP Calculus
2. Math 222 third power lecture of the day
3. Never studied before, never needed to do homework before
4. Unfriendly, unhelpful teacher
5. Addicted to Quake/Quake II
6. Unable to admit defeat at hands of subject matter

Now let’s discuss them in detail. Note that the reasons are not in order of importance. Some did affect me more than others, but it is probably subjective as to the precise impact.

1. Math 222 not a continuation of AP Calculus: As mentioned above, the AP Calculus that I toko in high school did not logically lead to Math 222. Instead, it taught principles that would allow a high school student to more readily take to the material in Math 221. I know this because after failing 222, I went back and took the 221 course before attempting 222 a second time. What I found was that 221 was NOT entirely a retread of the AP Calc material, and that upon completion of the course I was MUCH better prepared to take the 222 class.
2. Math 222 third power lecture of the day: As was the case with most freshman students, I didn’t know how to create a good class schedule. My first semester of school I attempted to maximize my free time by scheduling as many course credits on Tuesdays and thursday as I could so that I would have Fridays off. The result was that on Tuesday and Thursday I had 3 power lectures (classes that last more than an hour) in a row. It just so happened that the most difficult subject I had that semester (Math 222) was the final lecture of the day. I was mentally exhausted after so much time spent taking notes and listening, and therefore I was not in the best state to absorb the most difficult material presented to me. Hence, I did not learn what I needed to in order to prepare me for homework and tests.
3. Never studied before, never needed to do homework before: In high school all my work was very easy. I never developed any study skills because once I was shown the way I remembered it. studying for any test in high school was essentially just randomly flipping pages until I got bored. The AP Physics Test was the only thing I ever REALLY attempted to study for. The problem was that once I got to college things weren’t so easy anymore. But since I was supremely confident in my vast intelligence (!) I decided that I had no need to study lowly quizzes. If I had a midterm or a final I’d give the textbook a cursory glance. Once I got an F on my first Math 222 midterm, however, I started to realize something. I needed to study, but I had no idea how to do it successfully. And since I was stupidly confident in my own ability to work through my problems, I never attended TA or professor office hours because that was for the “dumb kids.” Holy shit was I stupid. Just imagine trying to pass a difficult class without ever reading the book or asking for help.
4. Unfriendly, unhelpful teacher: All through high school I had very helpful teachers. They explained things well and helped you if you need help. They just came off as caring educators. When I got to college and (unluckily) got stuck in a class with a professor who didn’t necessarily CARE who passed and who failed, I flailed spastically (if indeed one’s Education can flail in a spastic manner.) Professors at the college level don’t ASK you twelve times whether you understand. They teach concepts once (or never if you were supposed to have come across it in your assigned reading) and then move on to the next. There is not much time and many concepts to be taught in one semester. Happily, upon retaking Math 222 I was in a class with a fantastic professor who simply presented the material Better.
5. Addicted to Quake/Quake II: I stayed up until 3am most nights playing Quake online. Though I would have dismissed it at the time, I know now that I had an unhealthy obsession with the game. Often I started playing at 10pm and just go straight on through til morning. This is the time that I should have been studying. Period. It was my fault, and I take full responsibility. In an interesting side note, I haven’t played an online game in some time (perhaps since Quake III in senior year of college, but even then it was not often.) My own theory is that I had few friends and no social life outside of my dorm room freshman year. Therefore I kept myself amused through computer games only, and that turned sour after a while.
6. Unable to admit defeat at hands of subject matter: Related to Reason 3. In my time in pre-collegiate schooling, I never came across a subject I did not easily master. Math, science, reading, writing, etc. I picked things up very easily, though I especially prided myself in my math and science (physics) capabilities. So to walk into college and immediately fail at one of things I’d long prided myself on was particularly scary for me. I was unable to come to grips with the fact that I needed help in that subject, during that semester. I had never, in all my schooling, dropped out of a class because it was “too hard” or worse, that I was going to fail it. My refusal to recognize my impending academic failure resulted in a more real failure (the F) than if I had admitted it to myself and dropped the class when I still had a chance.

Some of these reasons seem minor, and I’m sure they were at the time. There also may be more subtle reasons that I have not included but did affect the grade in a very real way. But I think the major reasons have been accurately represented, and I hope that in the future I’ll recognize my shortcomings prior to personal failures they herald.

–whazz on