I Hate College Newspapers

Its pretty tough to get through college. Exams, hazings, and liquor all conspire against you for four years. On top of all that shit, though, you have to deal with the sum collection of an entire state’s worth of bad high school newspapermen who go to college and decide to “enlighten the masses”. I mean, I can barely talk, and I only got my job because I could peck keys like a pigeon, but I don’t try to communicate to tens of thousands of people. These subnormals insist on doing the thing that pisses me off more than anything.


Everytime one of the retards writes, they will author about 3 sentences of description and then stop to toss a zinger of 3 word sentence at the audience. I’ll do it below:

So I went over to my friends hoouse and we got some beer. We also stopped and got a bag of doritos, and I saw my friend Matt at the store.

He was drunk.

You damn idiot. Put that goddamn sentence in with the paragraph you were just writing. Jesus. It is possible to write more than 3 sentences in one paragraph, its not against the laws of nature, economics, or the city of Madison. Do you absolutely need to 40 paragraphs to tell a story that really only has one point? If you want to know what it was that prompted this little outburst, look no further. It does nothing to further my notion of Southerners, while we’re at it.