Dr. Chaos

Sometimes the world is confronted by an evil so profound that one can only back away slowly utterly all the oaths they know. Sometimes its better NOT to know what the human soul is capable of. Sometimes… well, sometimes you can sleep easier knowing nothing of the under-society that dwells just beyond nightfall. I will now tell you the tale of Dr. Chaos.

As an aside, it is fairly funny to me that I only needed one morning in Wisconsin plus one newspaper to find what is perhaps THE breakthrough journalistic article of the year 2002. All this time mining the net for insanity to reproduce on whazzmaster.com and all I ever needed to do was fly to Wisconsin and open up a newspaper.

But back to Dr. Chaos, M.D.

‘Dr. Chaos’ says crime spree was result of ‘intellectual superiority’
20-year prison term likely under plea deal
By GINA BARTON
gbarton@journalsentinel.com
Last Updated: Dec. 20, 2002
The 26-year-old man who calls himself “Dr. Chaos” dropped out of school after ninth grade. Yet he told police he damaged computers, power plants and radio towers because he felt “a sense of intellectual superiority.”

Umm.

According to a plea agreement filed Friday in federal court, Joseph D. Konopka will likely serve 20 years in prison for a crime spree through 13 Wisconsin counties. Konopka pleaded guilty to six federal felonies including conspiracy, arson, creating counterfeit software and interfering with computers.

Konopka, formerly of De Pere, originally was charged with 13 federal felonies in Wisconsin. His actions from 1998 to 2001 resulted in $800,000 worth of damage, according to the U.S. attorney.

During a plea hearing Friday afternoon in U.S. District Court in Milwaukee, the thin and plain-spoken Konopka was anything but chaotic. He answered Judge Lynn Adelman’s questions politely, tucking his shoulder-length brown hair behind his ears when it threatened to hang into his eyes.

Ummm.

Using the screen name DOC-CHAOS, Konopka set up a Web site called the “Realm of Chaos.” There, he recruited at least a dozen young followers to help him commit crimes, including detonating at least 15 bombs and setting fire to the Bush Brothers sauerkraut pits in Outagamie County. Often, the targets were electrical power plants and energy facilities. One of his followers told police that every time Konopka started a fire at such a facility, “he would always drive into town to make sure that the lights were off,” according to court records.

I can’t make this stuff up, folks. Now, more to the point, I have to explain that it is extremely hard to be a cynical, smart-ass blog writer in a world such as this. I honestly don’t know what swear words I can add to this story to make it seem funnier than it already is. I thought about working in a reference to South Park’s Professor Chaos but that just seemed stupid, not funny.

Konopka also admitted searching for followers on a site called “Teens for Satan.” However, he told police the name was a spoof of “Youth for Christ” and not a reflection of his true beliefs.

Errm.

That’s about enough of the exploits of Herr Doktor Chaos. Read the article to find out more about what De Pere, Wisconsin does to the brain.

Packers Win! 12-3! Packers Win! 12-3! Packers Win! 12-3! Packers Win! 12-3! Packers Win! 12-3!

Racine is cold, and now I have a cold. Coincidence? I think not. More on the whazz when it becomes available.

–whazz on

One thought on “Dr. Chaos

  1. Should old acquaintance be forgot
    And never brought to mind?
    Should old acquaintance be forgot
    And old lang sine?

    For old Lang Sine, for old lang sine
    We’ll drink a cup of kindness, yet
    For old lang sine.

    Happy New year!!!

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