whazzmaster.com: Housecleaning Edition

I was going to put all of this info in a comment on the last story, but I think there was a bit too much to say, so I put it here:

1. I received an ewaz xmas card straight outta Wild Rose. Thank you very much ewaz, I wish more than anything that I could attend a Rosin family gathering. I would most likely be at a complete and utter loss for words. Plus poker is cool.

2. On the same day that I received an ewaz xmas card, I also got a letter from the Connie that included (1) AccuWeather forecast, (2) bellman business cards, and (1) killer nanobot. Just kidding, the third thing was a newspaper clipping detailing how a 64 year old man got his ass beat soundly by madison cops on Halloween night, the day that all hell broke loose in Madison. The guy looks so familiar, but I can’t figure out where he is from. Someone please clue me in, because I know I’ve seen him before. I would post his picture here, but I don’t have a scanner to scan it into the computer. Since I will probably need one for the Whazzmaster.com Picture Contest, I’ll probably be buying one soon.

3. Notice to Ed Neesvig: I am using your mailbox bank full-time as of right now. It sits where my wallet and keys go when I get home from work, so all of loose change goes right on in there. Thanks very much for such a finely-crafted piece of functional art. I will be telling all my friends and co-workers about it.

4. Last night I played poker at Madd Scientist’s house. Pretty ok night, I won $50 by the end. Night was notable for many threats by people to “cut” other people with brandished knives, and also by a very long fingernailed, younger version of genghis khan winning a lot of my money. It was also notable for the fact that there were 9 people playing and exactly 1 (Madd) would speak to me without scowling or calling me a bitch.

5. Today is the Madd Scientist’s Birthday! Happy Birthday, Madd Scientist! He’s having a party at his house tonight, which me and the missus will be attending. I’m sure it will contain a certain quota of drunk people, and I’m hoping he brings out the craps table for a little action. Ah, fuck it, I just hope he has alcohol. More updates (with pictures) tomorrow on Whazzmaster.com!

6. Cal, you have two days until me, my new tennis shoes, my new tennis shorts, and my terribly huge biceps go up against you in tennis. What’cha gonna do, brother, when the 24 inch pythons come… see… you!

7. My house is a complete and utter goddamned mess. It needs a good scrub down, bellcart-style. So, when Erin is at work tomorrow I have taken it upon myself to get the whole damn place back in order, including throwing out the xmas tree that is rapidly shedding its needles ever-goddamn-where. Don’t worry, Caspa, the Magic Garden stays put. Hopefully after the house is clean I’ll have time to get Bellman Profiles done, and maybe even the voting page. Here’s to hope!

8. Ewaz, last I heard you were on your way to Africa with a fancy gal you met at Montemarte. What happened there? Did all of you “banking” business get in the way? Seriously though, why the switch from the sweet, sweet rainforests of the Congo (where killer apes and brontosaurus’ live) to dumb ol’ europe, where all they have are people who will be mean to you beacuse you are a tourism emissary from George Dubbaya. Personally, I would much rather here a story from you revolving around how you ended up in a village where they talk in clicks than how you got drunk on Absinthe in Prague and stubbed your toe on the curb while getting out of a cab.

–whazz on

One thought on “whazzmaster.com: Housecleaning Edition

Comments are closed.