I Had A Dream

It was a really weird dream. I was in an episode of The Andy Griffith Show, but the show was set in 60’s. Opie was a little bit older, Aunt Bea was dead, and Andy has one of those big moustaches.

Yeah, kinda like that.

Actually, more like this.

Don’t even ask about Barney Fife. Anyways, so it was the 60’s, and everything had a vaguely yellow blur to it (like when you watch a home movie from the 60’s and that “What would you do if we sang out of tune…” plays in the background). It was also evident to me, in this dream, that I was in my Great-Grandmother Hanny’s house. It is quite small, and located somewhere in Illinois.

So I decide to go on a bike ride in my dream. I’m riding with someone who may or may not be a hot chick or a good friend. I really don’t know. So I’m riding around Racine near St. Mary’s Hospital, but further up the street towards West Boulevard, and all of a sudden I see a paratransit bus full of llamas go the other way up the street. Then I see a woman with a lion on a leash. I also see an elephant riding some sort of contraption. I ask the other person what is going on and they say that the city is moving the animals to a new zoo. Okay.

So then I see a branch in the road. I tell the other person to watch because I’m going to jump it (as if it is a ramp). So I ride up one side of it and my front tire gets stuck. I flip off and I hear people laughing. On the side of the road (in the bushes and down a small embankment) are three people (2 guys and 1 girl). Apparently they set up the branch with a booby trap so that anyone who tried to jump it like a ramp would fall. I start running down the hill swearing as much as I can, and in the dream I was thinking “I hope they run away because I don’t want to get into a fight. I’ve never been in a fight before and I don’t know what to do.” So I get to the bottom and they are still there and laughing, so I punch one of them in the face. The other person with me goes after the second guy while the other girl there just stares. I don’t remember much of the fight, but in the end the guy I punched had a shiner.

then i awoke.

It took me two days of spare work time to get all that down on paper. Impressive look into my night terrors, isn’t it.

Speaking of the night, (I hope Madd Scientist appreciates this) Dave Attel just announced that Insomniac will be out on DVD. It doesn’t say when on the website, so I went elsewhere and found out that it drops Feb. 4. So hell fucking yeah. Fucking A. I will now reprise the Insomniac Theme Song:

OOOOOOOHHHHH Drunks and losers, dwarves with limps,
Flos and hos and one-eyed pimps,
down the alleyway they creep,
they’re all your friends you can’t sleep!

do do do do do do dooooo do do do do deedle-do doooo
do do do do do do dooooo do do do do doo doo doo doo

Come with me and you will see,
a late night frakshow, JUBILEE!
Kick the sandman in his sack,
stay up late Insomniac.


Hmm, well, if you are not Madd Scientist and haven’t been kicked off the interweb yet, and need mindless entertainment to fill the void, go HomestarRunner.com. It’s a bunch of flash cartoons about Homestar, Strong Bad, Marzipan, the Cheat, and a bunch of other good peoples. You will like Strong Bad. In particular, Strong Bad’s Email is a good starting point.

OK, so now we have 5 definites for Vegas. We’ve got myself, Wirkus, Timmer, Sean, and O’Neil. Correct me if I’m wrong. It all pops off on March 15th. I will have camera and voice recorder for the event.

I apologize for the way I haven’t exactly been online lately. Dead tired between work and workouts. I think it is time to add new editors to Whazzmaster.com.

This is another one of my nightmares:

–Yossarian Lives!

2 thoughts on “I Had A Dream

  1. Jen & wirkuswhazz – the Jen/Bellgirl differentiation has been taken care of (reference 11:34 AM post by S Fitty), your input has been duly noted, thank you

    I vow not confuse the two anymore, sorry for confusion and distress it may have caused.

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