I Wish My Arms Were 2127 Miles Long

Just so I could strangle the bitchwad from the Isthmus article. I have now finished reading it and I just wanted to pop in with my opinions.

1.) First and foremost, I want to illustrate how stupid she is using her Thursday “wild night out” story. First she says:

Not wanting to ruin Friday night’s festivities with Thursday night’s hangover, my friends and I decide to explore the tamer side of Madison’s night life with a couple of drinks at Genna’s. Located off-campus on the northwest corner of the square, Genna’s manages to avoid a lot of loud, immature crap taht we undergrads have atendency to pull when we’re loaded.

Where do I even start with this dumb broad? Genna’s is on the south corner of the Square, to start with. Look at a map, bitch. And just when I think that she can do no stupider she goes and says:

Tonight, for some reason, it’s wall-to-wall with irritable grad students and girls with big hair. My friend Jess and I stay for one drink before the existential conversation at the next table make us realize we aren’t actually having any fun. Rather than wait for the rest of our party to forge through the growing line outside the door, Jess and I put our cell phones to good use and notify the others that we are on the move to the City Bar for a slightly more sociable atmosphere.

*blink* *blink* Did she just say she wanted to go somewhere quiet for a nice drink and conversation and then say “hee hee, I lied!” in the very next fucking paragraph? I believe she did. Then, as if the night is a plane going down in the mountains of Guatamala, she goes ahead and lights the cabin on fire on the way down. They head to the City. The goddamned City. Look bitch: Madison is not New York, and you are not in Sex in the City. And you with your fucking Cosmopolitans. I’m not knocking the drink. My mom drinks them and so does my lady-friend. I’m knocking the fact that this chick got shit-faced on three of them. Three. And then she desperately needs Qdoba.

*zzzot* That’s it, I can’t go any further, my brain just shorted out. This stupid article has done what 4 years of reading the Opinion page of the USA Today could not. I’m done.