H-O-R-S-E

Good morning, whazzers. Just wanted to lay down a post about the weekend. It’ll be short and sweet.

First off, I went out friday night with Madd and Scott. We wanted to go to Waves but they were having a ~FASHION SHOW and wanted to charge us $30 to get through the door to drink. We said no. Then we headed over to the Brittania Arms, wherein Madd and Scott bought 2 pitchers of beer (one for each of them to drink out of like a cup) and I purchased a double-Belvy gimlet on the rocks for (are you ready for this?) $16. Those fuckers. Anyways, Scott and Madd are chatting up various people (young and old) at the bar, resulting in such situations as:

1. They met a “senator” (actually just an old man) and proposed legislation such as a.) everyone should drive on the left side of the road, and b.) you should be able to drink and drive. Madd then set up the senator with a 20 year-old chick.
2. They heard a girl say that she had the hiccups so Scott ran up from behind, grabbed her by the ankles and held her upside-down while Madd poured beer in her mouth. The hiccups went away. Then they got her number, which they immediately used to call gher answering machine at home and battle rap for several minutes about how they were going to have sex with her. She was pretty ok looking, but she was accompanied by a number 1 stunner and a rarely seen 0.
3. There was a camera crew in the bar filming footage for a commercial for the bar. Madd and Scott both wanted to be in the commercial, but the cameraman kept swinging the camera away when they would get close. After he handed the camera off to another camerawoman, he got trapped at the bar by Scott and Madd. He was cornered and could not escape. Madd explained his idea for the final version of the commercial: it involved footage of the senator getting a handjob in one of the booths of the bar. I don’t think the cameraman ended up using that footage.

I just flipped over to the site and saw wirkuswhazz’s post. Yes, I got the fur coat pics and they are sweet. I’ll use the scanner to make them into computer shit and then I’ll post them here.

In sports news, Cal did not beat me yesterday, because we did not end up playing. My elbow hurt like the dickens and Cal had a bum leg, so we hit around for awhile and then went to play basketball. We wanted to play HORSE, and about a minute after we started this little kid came up with his basketball. We (Cal, Madd, and I) asked if the kid wanted to play HORSE with us. He agreed and we were off. Let me put this next part in caps and italics so you all understand: THE KID WOULD NOT MISS. I battled him right down to the wire and he was just too good. I had a bad taste in my mouth so we decided to play one more game. Yeah, he won again. This time it came down to little kid against Cal, and Cal lost it for the entire race of people over 5 years old. Dammit Cal.

Also, I spoke with Rita on the phone. The funny part? I asked for Cal and she knew exactly who I was talking about.

I’m sure there’s more, but I have a shit-ton of work to do today because I’m teaching a class at work tomorrow for QA engineers. Judd is my assistant professor. It is gonna suck big time, and I don’t have any sort of lesson plan or teaching materials laid out yet. Wirkus, you used to teach illiterate college children english: quick, what’s the baddest fire you ever saw? Really, though, teaching tips would be appreciated.

–YOSSARIAN LIVES!

3 thoughts on “H-O-R-S-E

  1. I should beat your little tennis-faggot ass in that run for class treasurer! Then, you might have done something worthwhile, instead of this stupid forum of shit!

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