BY GAWD, IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!

Thought I’d go ahead and drop a non-drunk and -retarded post about Wrestlemania. I will use the handy whazzmaster list:

1. I started out the day playing craps at Madd Scientist’s house. Result? up $8. boo. yah.

2. We picked up Scott about 20 minutes after Wrestlemania started and drove to nearby Pleasanton where a bar was supposedly showing WM. Madd had a travel mug of vodka with him for the trip.

3. We get there and immediately order 3 pitchers, 1 each, and get to work drinkin them. We also order some food while watching Los Guerreros beat on Benoit.

4. At the table next to us was a guy wearing an Undertaker shirt, a guy wearing an HHH shirt, and a bunch of girls. Madd of course tries to impress the girls. One of them challenges him to a drinking contest. Both her and a 50 year-old man at another table beat Madd.

5. Madd teases a ketchup drink. We bet him $2 he won’t. He, of course, does it. He drank ketchup…. out of the ketchup bottle. This produces cheers from everyone.

6. The old man at the table next to us does a shot of whiskey chased by a pint of Guiness. More cheers while Madd tries to think of a way to top that.

7. Madd picks up the mustard bottle and the waitress swoops in and collects all the bottles off the table (A1, mustard, ketchup, Tabasco). I see her throw away the ketchup and mustard bottle with a look of disgust. Madd notices that she did not take away the salt shaker (a Corona bottle with salt in it).

8. Madd takes a sip of salt.

9. At one point we ordered another pitcher and while she was getting it, Madd’s back was turned. I lean over to Scott and ask him “Hey, do you have any diseases?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I then tell him to spit in the pitcher when it comes so Madd won’t drink any. This turns out to be one of the most backfiring plans in history. The waitress comes and before she can even set down the pitcher all the way Scott goes to spit in it. Madd sees this happening and lets on fly himself. It misses the pitcher but hits (a.) Scott and (b.) the waitress. She is the epitome of not happy now.

10. The guys at the table next to us run outside for a few minutes. They return with a copy of the Torrie issue of Playboy. More cheers.

11. Over the course of the night Madd started about 50 asshole chants directed mainly at Scott and Myself.

12. Our pals at the next table bought us a round of shots. Madd wasn’t taking his very well, so when he got up to go to the bathroom Scott drank his. He then said, “what the fuck” and drank all of Madd’s beer as well.

13. I bought a round of Jager bombs for our pals at the next table. We brought them over and everyone started drinking. I took it pretty well. I didn’t stop, just a slow chug. This pissed off our pals though and they demanded I get on the table and dance for them due to my sucking at drinking. I refused. Scott picked me up and put me on the chair. I did a little dance. Everyone cheered. As I got down off the chair the bartender came up and said to me and Scott “Look, you guys can drink here, but if you get up on the chairs or table, or you start wrestling, I’m kicking you out.” We responded with the thumbs-up.

14. Madd was chanting “show your tits” to a random girl. She declined.

Overall a really crazy night. We are definitely going back there for Backlash. Now we are driving back to San Jose. It is then that we realize that it is only 9pm. Plenty of night left. The problem is that we are all pretty bombed (maybe not Scott, he is never bombed). We get to San Jose and Judd meets us at Scott’s place. We walk halfway across the world and then split up. Me and Judd go into Agenda for reggae night, and Madd and French go into Spy for the E-A-Ski concert. I had a pretty good time in Agenda, I lost about 30 games of pool to everyone I played. Kendric got his game on with some chick, and Judd was… well, he was getting drunk.

Night ended with me driving all the way back to San Mateo, and I gotta tell you: my stomach does not feel real good right now. The thought of vodka OR red bull is making me queasy. Better rap this up and go take a shower.

Boo yah.

-YOSSARIAN LIVES!

7 thoughts on “BY GAWD, IT’S WRESTLEMANIA!

Comments are closed.