Virtual Friday

Last night I make my standard virtual friday calls, and it is decided we are to go to scott’s apartment to get drunk. Are you shocked yet?

We polish off a case and realize we are far too lazy to go to bar. Me and Judd also realize we are hungy so we head to Iguanas. You all remember Iguanas don’t you?

Judd drives. There are 2 scares about getting pulled over for window tint… we roll down the windows and act sober. It works. I pop out of the burb only to land on a pile of half full 40 ozers in the curb. I vocalize my situation to Judd and he is amused. We continue into the store.

We are the only people there, and I notice the bouncer is a Little Man. He greets me. I only had 7 beers, so I ask him if he knows me, and he says “yes”. I didn’t recognize this man at all and demand to know where Sarge is. Little man tells us that Sarge got fired. Apparently he was alone in the second room, and sold some guy a bag of salt and told him it was methamphetamines.

Oh, Sarge.

The other guy realizes it is fake and takes Sarge’s wallet. At this point Sarge screamed for Little Man to come help him. Little Man was not going to get involved. The owner now comes in, kicks them both out and takes sarges famed Iguana’s employee badge.

Little Man is done telling the story and the entire crew starts making fun of Sarge. They tell us tales of how big of a pussy he is/was. My favorite was when a “5 foot nothing skater” chased him out of Iguanas, and he ran into McDonalds for protection. Supposedly they each have a cousin that has kicked the shit out of him at least once. I am shocked. Sarge’s character lost a lot of points with me last night.

The bouncer then told me his pet peeve: guys fully geared out in jumpsuits and platinum that ask people for a few cents instead of paying with a dollar and tipping the change. He said one time a guy asked everyone in line for 3 cents, then 10 minutes later he was still hungry, went back in line and pulled out a wad of 100’s. At this point we have not ordered yet. Being that this is the first of month and all of my roomates paid their rent to me in $100 bills, I see a chance for humor. I pay for my super burrito (carne asada, no beans, no guac) with a single and 2 $2 bills. My total comes to $5.11 (after the 10% discount is applied that I am only now conscious enough to realize I get for being a “regular”). I ask Little Man for 11 cents. He gives it to me and I pay. Then I pull out my wad of 100’s and ask Judd if he wants anything else. YOU’VE BEEN ZAPPED LITTLE MAN.

I ate my burrito and went home. Like clockwork, I woke up farting and ran to poop it out this morning. Iguana’s hits like a mother fucker.

9 thoughts on “Virtual Friday

  1. Just a heads up to all the whazzers. I am spearheading the movement to block this website from the concourse. It should be blocked shortly. Enjoy your work whazz while you can.

  2. Who wants to spearhead the movement to have Kristi Klemm blocked from working at the Concurse Hotel?

  3. how about a fatal 4-way…Fitty vs. Scheizz vs. Fudd vs. Ro (the Ho) & special guest ref Money P

  4. 1. Sometimes I have to result to submisison on the outside so there are no ropebreaks, kinda cheap though. I much prefer the K.O. as opposed to tapping or pin. I’ve lost trying to hit my special instead of going for a pin or tap though, not cool after a 20 min fight when I’m showboating.
    2. The little dude named Pockets game me the most trouble, he’s quick and charismatic. He was part of a 3 on 1 attack. No tags, straight up handicap. The end guy wasn’t too bad.
    3. Crowd brawl would be tight.
    4. The look-a-like thing is a good idea.
    5. NORE is a bitch.
    6. Redman’s finish is tight. He also pins you by sitting on your chest and his arms on his knees.
    7. I beat the game, but I still need to unlock some photos of my bitches and 2 more characters. I think I have to change the difficulty level to get those characters. Stats are pretty good now, I had a shakey start because I forgot some things from ‘WCW Revenge’ and I needed to get my timing back.
    8. Time check:
    3:30-7:00 Pickup controls
    7:00-10:00 Dinner & bullshit
    10:00-2:30 Beat game
    2:30-4:30 Survival mode, after 23 matches realize I still have to beat all the rappers, allow myself to tap to Dub C (westside bia bia)
    4:30-7:30 Curse myself out for playing so long & go to sleep
    7:30-present – Too tired to remember what I did this morning

  5. Every game that Brian &/or I watched sucked:

    1. Saturday Brewers–Brewers Lost
    2. Saturday MU–MU really lost
    3. Saturday Bucks–Bucks lost
    4. Sunday Brewers–Brewers lost again
    5. Sunday Admirals–Admirals lost (which was my fault because I said–when the admirals were up–that I hoped they would tie, have to go into overtime and then win a shoot-out [which I didn’t know that they don’t do anymore]). They did get to a tie, and lost the overtime which was no longer in shoot-out format.

    On a happy note, we watched Roger Doger which started out a little shitty but turned out to be an interesting movie.

    On a side note, I think that Moneypenny is the angriest person I know. Even when he is really, really happy, he still seems a little bit angry–you know?

    On an astonishing note, my three-legged cat who hates being picked up and held is clamoring for my lap. Go figure.

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