Starting my own casino and other bad decisions I have made…

When I was about 8 years old i thought it would be cool to ride my skateboard like a luge down my uncles quarter mile sloped driveway. Said driveway emptied out onto an extremely busy highway. I get started and i’m luging like a mother fuck for a good 1/8th of a mile. Good times. My speed is still increasing and I start to wobble. I lose control, fall off and slide on my ass all the way to the sidewalk where I stop 5 feet from sure death. I have the biggest road rash strawberry ever known to man. That was not a good idea.

As a younger lad in high school, a younger Paul Larsen fucked with the scientist. I stabbed him in the head (ed. note: it was with a sharpened pencil. posters counter note: it was a metal automatic pencil… i fucked that bitch up. eat a pizza. die slow, my bic automatic make sure all your kids don’t grow!). Not Smart.

The same scientist would later find himself with 7 friends that wanted to go out to lunch. 8 people in a Chevy Lumina doesn’t seem so bad… not until, of course, the police are taking down the information for the accident you were in because you couldn’t move your leg to hit the breaks. Judgement was definately lacking that day.

Staying on the theme of vehicular damage, I had the bright idea to save money and drive out to cali instead of fly. As the Durango and the “biggest uhaul ever” are gliding along the ice at 55 miles per hour… I can only remember thinking: hmmm… maybe there was a better way.

I once convinced Eric Boudreau to jump off my garage. He broke his foot. I’ll leave that as a good decision. That shit was funny.

2 words: Kim Falleck. 10 more words: the fat bitch I fucked after breaking up with her.

I think I made a few bad decisions in Las Vegas… one good decision I made, however, was not to remember any of them by guzzling copius amounts of liquor.

Shaving my balls.

On to my latest bad decision… Joe’s Casino. It started out great. I made a G faster than ever. It leveled out a bit, until the last 4 days when all of my winnings were depleated. A good 100+ hours of work with a net of near 0. I have made some rule adjustments and got some new bank money, but all in all, I could have spent my time wiser. Joe’s casino has reopened with a bank of $500. It is a rolling bank, meaning that if you lose today, it will be there for you to win tomorrow. The table limits are $2-$4 pass line, double odds with 2.5x odds on a $4 pass line on a 6 or 8 point. place bets are $2-4 on the 4,5,9,10 and $2.40-$4.80 on the 6 and 8. Prop bets are $.40-$4. We also now deal 6 deck blackjack. $1-$4 bets with blackjack paying 3/2. dealer hits soft 17; double-downs are restricted to 9, 10, or 11; player may not double after splitting pairs; player may not re-split pairs.

Any customers, holla. Christ I am dumb.

21 thoughts on “Starting my own casino and other bad decisions I have made…

  1. New thing on whazzmaster. If you are logged in when you post, then your posting will be linked to your bellman profile. It will also count towards your total of posts. For example, I am not logged in right now…

  2. To answer Henkel, the numbers of postings go all the way back to the beginning. I hand fixed the db table after adding the column I needed.

  3. Jenny, Chicken Florentine = chicken breat stuffed with rice and some colorful vegetables on the side. Vegetable napoleon = lots of vegetables (I only remember that there are red peppers) piled on top of one another covered with a sort of tomato sauce. Beef = either a sirloin steak or this other kind of steak that is sliced and then covered with a molasses sauce & mushrooms. Personally, I’m going to gamble with the beef.
    Zach, are you going to change your whazz-name when I become a Moneypenny?

  4. Look, K-Car, I get the point of Catch 22: War = Insane. I like the book, it’s a fun read, but it’s fuckin’ way flawed.

    Brewers are rollin’…

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