Casy Study II: Retard Redux

Guess who’s back? Back again. Guess who’s back? Daniel fucking Hinkel. I got my Daily Cardinal email with a list of headlines, and I saw one that seemed strange: Classes you do not need: Liberal Arts. I didn’t know when I clicked on the link who the author was, but as soon as his fucking face came up…

Punch to the face in 5… 4… 3…

…I knew what kind of fucking gayness I was in store for. So, this homo decides that he took classes that did not benefit him in any way in college, and he further feels that the college should be ashamed because of that. Let me get this straight, you shit-eating goony bird, you didn’t get anything out of school because, AS YOU SAY YOURSELF, you took classes that you weren’t interested in just to pass requirements, and it’s now the school’s fault that you didn’t learn anything.

Example: this cock-juice drinking troglodyte took “an elementary math class” to pass his Quantitative Reasoning B requriement. After taking the class he “couldn’t balance…” his “own checkbook”. Even taking into account that he is trying to be sarcastic, he is retarded. In fact, I believe that real retarded people should beat the shit out of him for giving them a bad name.

I think I’ve figured out what this fuckface’s MO is. He fancies himself a sarcastic purveyor of realism on campus. He wants to be the Jerry Seinfeld saying “what’s the deal with this Quantitative Reasoning B requirement? I mean, c’mon! I couldn’t balance my checkbook with that class!” News flash dickweed, you’re not funny. Moreover, you’re basically saying “There are stupid people who actually find this class hard?!” Hey Einstein, I didn’t see you in my Linear and Matrix Algebra class. Was that too easy for you too? What the fuck major are you in that’s so great and difficult? Oh yeah, journalism. And not good journalism either, just Daily Cardinal Feature Wednesday journalism. This fucking guy disses math, english, and foreign language (I would venture to say the core of most majors at the school since you can’t go into arts or science without a knowledge of english or math), and then expects us to laugh along with him at the stupidty of the school?! Does he even go to school?! Is he a homeless hobo on State St that Cardinal got to write features on Wednesdays?!

Bottom lines:

1. He is either being serious and he is the dumbest piece of shit on the UW campus, or he is attempting to be sarcastic and failing so spectacularly that it almost seems like he is being serious.
2. Liberal Arts is the most important aspect of the college education. Otherwise you’re just attending DeVry to get your associates degree in computer wiring.
3. If he wants the (nationally accredited) UW college to start requiring classes “on the Heimlich manuever, CPR, or self-defense” I suggest he first shove a 2-by-4 up his ass, then enroll in a 12th-grade home economics class for the more advanced training he requires.
4. If you want spend you life “reading up on how to cook, sew, and change” your oil… fuck it, take the home ec class for that shit too. It sounds like everything you require is waiting for you in Ms. Sanchez’s HOSA club at Washington Park High School in Racine, WI.

God this guy is a fuck-tard.

–whazz on

24 thoughts on “Casy Study II: Retard Redux

  1. Ewaz, you are supposed to have a tux. There is one waiting for you, just go to Gingiss to get measured.

  2. frenchy, i keep of flask of run in my car and always hit it on the way to lunch and on the way from lunch. it keeps my liver happy until i get home.

  3. run keeps ya done, huh scientist…i usually keep vodka in my lemonade throughout the day.

  4. he is talking right now as i type in the fobbish talk you have ever heard. i am saying uh huh ever 8 seconds. i have no clue what is going on. fuck.

  5. time to go to the car for the flask. that is a rare occasion, but in this case, a neccessary one.

  6. ok, either this is some weird sex talk between RC and raj, or they are both extremely high.

  7. What was that poetic form that you were telling me about god knows when that has a zillion rules to it? I think that there was one in some stupid thing that I was reading.

  8. French Connection, if you have never seen anyone stretch out on the dance floor I have one thing to say to you: Welcome to the wonderful and enchanting world of the drag queen/transexual. It is a magical place, but beware, you have never met a bitch like a gay man on hormones. Trust me.

  9. Hey everyone, if I get fired tomorrow, can someone find me a job in a hospitality-related field?

  10. Also, I want credit for that last post. Also, I bet 13.49$ on the Brewers. They are losing 1-0 in the second.

  11. Whazzmaster? More like Jizzmaster . You should probably have at least some connection to current events in the UW system before you take things out of context. UW has cut over 2% of classes offered next term. They didn’t cut so called “useless” classes such as rocks for jocks or clap for credit, but instead offer fewer classes like econ, physics and poly-sci. These I would consider classes of great use to nearly everyone….yes even the Jizzmaster.

    An intelligent reader would have picked up on this and realized what the article was really about.

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