Who? Zach Moneypenny
What? His bachelor party
Where? Milwaukee, WI
When? 7 June 2003
Yes, pals, it’s time for Ol’ Pennywhistle’s bachelor party. Long story short, I’ve rented a bus, we are taking said bus to a Brewer game, and then we are going to go out in Milwaukee.
Short story long, the bus is set to depart from a yet to be determined location in Madison, WI at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, June 7th. We will drink beer, sing songs and make merry as the bus motors us to Milwaukee. Upon arriving Milwaukee, we will have a catered tailgate party in the beautiful parking lot that surrounds Miller Park. The tailgate party includes brats, hamburgers, oven baked beans (The preferred way to heat legumes) American potato salad, (which for some reason conjures up the vision of a drunken lawman with potato salad smeared across his bare chest, leading a group of drunken revelers in a wild chanting of USA whilst perched on top of the bus) chips, pickles, cookies, soda and unlimited beer. Gentlemen, I seriously want to make them regret selling us all-you-can-drink beer. I want to test their boast of “unlimited”. After the tailgate we will watch the Brewers play the Red Socks from our wonderful seats in lodge bleacher section 204. After the Brewers win, we will go bail eroz and Madd Scientist out of jail and bus down to On the Border for some adult entertainment. After all this is a bachelor party. When we get sick of looking at boobs and drinking $8 Miller Lites, we will bus to downtown Milwaukee and hit the Water Street bars until they kick us out. Water Street isn’t my favorite place in the world, but it’s the only place I can think of that can accommodate a group of our size.
The cost for this night of debauchery is a poetic $69 each for the bus, tailgate and ticket to the game and whatever else you spend on booze and boobs out at the bars. I’m guessing that an extra $50-$100 will be more than enough unless you go nuts on the lap dances and beer buying inside Miller Park.
If you have any questions about anything, call me, wwhazz, at (—) ***-**** or call Moneypenny at (***) ***-**** or post at whazzmaster.com. The sooner you send me the $69, the better, for nearly every penny I have is currently wrapped up in this project. If you are coming from out of town and need help finding a place to stay Friday or Saturday, again, let me know sooner than later, and I will make arrangements for you. There are currently 27 tickets and tailgate dinners. We are bringing the driver along with us, so that leaves 26 available tickets. The following individuals are receiving invites: Moneypenny, Wirkuswhazz, Ewaz, Timmer, Grand Masta Caspa, Lawman, Lawman’s new sidekick Sean aka Lawboy, Springer, Kyle, Madd, Danny, Ross, Judd, S Fitty, Arlo, Aaron Moneypenny, Brandon, Paul, Todd, Scubby, Dan P, Alandovos, Luke, K-Car, Cal, Steven, Rock Chalk’s brother, Havey, Tom Marks and Tangman. The 26 spots will go on a first come first served basis. By that, I mean the first to send me the sixty-nine bucks. My address is:
Madison, WI 53703
Again, if you have any questions, please call or post on whazzmaster.com. If you can’t make it to the party, please call me and let me know ASAP because the logistics of this thing are mind-boggling. Also, if any of you feel that I’ve forgotten to invite someone, let me know– maybe Moneypenny had a special relationship with his Boy Scout leader that I’m unaware of– and I’ll send out an invite.
I know that I’m stating the obvious here, but my God, is this going to be a great day/night of bachelor partying, and please, this is aimed at you Cali boys, leave the Prada at home: it’s Milwaukee.