Oh you didn’t know?

Who? Zach Moneypenny
What? His bachelor party
Where? Milwaukee, WI
When? 7 June 2003
Why? Because

Yes, pals, it’s time for Ol’ Pennywhistle’s bachelor party. Long story short, I’ve rented a bus, we are taking said bus to a Brewer game, and then we are going to go out in Milwaukee.
Short story long, the bus is set to depart from a yet to be determined location in Madison, WI at 1:30 p.m. on Saturday, June 7th. We will drink beer, sing songs and make merry as the bus motors us to Milwaukee. Upon arriving Milwaukee, we will have a catered tailgate party in the beautiful parking lot that surrounds Miller Park. The tailgate party includes brats, hamburgers, oven baked beans (The preferred way to heat legumes) American potato salad, (which for some reason conjures up the vision of a drunken lawman with potato salad smeared across his bare chest, leading a group of drunken revelers in a wild chanting of USA whilst perched on top of the bus) chips, pickles, cookies, soda and unlimited beer. Gentlemen, I seriously want to make them regret selling us all-you-can-drink beer. I want to test their boast of “unlimited”. After the tailgate we will watch the Brewers play the Red Socks from our wonderful seats in lodge bleacher section 204. After the Brewers win, we will go bail eroz and Madd Scientist out of jail and bus down to On the Border for some adult entertainment. After all this is a bachelor party. When we get sick of looking at boobs and drinking $8 Miller Lites, we will bus to downtown Milwaukee and hit the Water Street bars until they kick us out. Water Street isn’t my favorite place in the world, but it’s the only place I can think of that can accommodate a group of our size.

The cost for this night of debauchery is a poetic $69 each for the bus, tailgate and ticket to the game and whatever else you spend on booze and boobs out at the bars. I’m guessing that an extra $50-$100 will be more than enough unless you go nuts on the lap dances and beer buying inside Miller Park.

If you have any questions about anything, call me, wwhazz, at (—) ***-**** or call Moneypenny at (***) ***-**** or post at whazzmaster.com. The sooner you send me the $69, the better, for nearly every penny I have is currently wrapped up in this project. If you are coming from out of town and need help finding a place to stay Friday or Saturday, again, let me know sooner than later, and I will make arrangements for you. There are currently 27 tickets and tailgate dinners. We are bringing the driver along with us, so that leaves 26 available tickets. The following individuals are receiving invites: Moneypenny, Wirkuswhazz, Ewaz, Timmer, Grand Masta Caspa, Lawman, Lawman’s new sidekick Sean aka Lawboy, Springer, Kyle, Madd, Danny, Ross, Judd, S Fitty, Arlo, Aaron Moneypenny, Brandon, Paul, Todd, Scubby, Dan P, Alandovos, Luke, K-Car, Cal, Steven, Rock Chalk’s brother, Havey, Tom Marks and Tangman. The 26 spots will go on a first come first served basis. By that, I mean the first to send me the sixty-nine bucks. My address is:

wwhazz(radio edit)
Madison, WI 53703

Again, if you have any questions, please call or post on whazzmaster.com. If you can’t make it to the party, please call me and let me know ASAP because the logistics of this thing are mind-boggling. Also, if any of you feel that I’ve forgotten to invite someone, let me know– maybe Moneypenny had a special relationship with his Boy Scout leader that I’m unaware of– and I’ll send out an invite.

I know that I’m stating the obvious here, but my God, is this going to be a great day/night of bachelor partying, and please, this is aimed at you Cali boys, leave the Prada at home: it’s Milwaukee.

Your friend,
wwhazz

34 thoughts on “Oh you didn’t know?

  1. apparently Mr. whazzmaster sucks does not understand that his concerns are too late, whazzmaster has moved on to other news & his boyfriend Dan is no longer part of it.

  2. apparently you fail to realize you and your clique of people that were taunted and beat down in high school are not the center of the universe not everyone knows of your dork web page, therefore making the issue very current. I knew when given the option YOU WOULD SHUT UP.

  3. no i am not a whazzer im not sure you guys understand thats not a good thing.Im sure as hell not Hinkel Im just someone who thinks a bunch of pussies like yourselves should stop talkin shit or start backing it up. San Mateo better be big so am i, BRING IT. Go ahead and ban my IP dork, Ive got access to plenty of other computers. Keep on swearing too it makes you sound tough. Honestly. I see you had to run to California, couldnt handle the weather or getting your ass beat for the lunch money your mommy and daddy gave you. Smart move.

  4. So you want to stop everyone on the internet from swearing or talking shit…..Let me know how that works out for you.

  5. Wow Cal. Wow. I think you & Rita should come over this weekend for a celebratory dinner in the country so we can discuss your efforts further.

  6. exactly madd! the bitches are fat- causing pain in their lives- and from this you derive pleasure. any other whazzers have stories of their own personal shadenfreude? whirkuswhazz- remember when you hit the deck at county stadium? shadenfreude. moneypenny- that 8 year old smoking you in HORSE? shadenfreude.

  7. yes, 3 uglies… but associating with black women is my specialty… they see my hair and instinctively try and nurture me like one of their own

  8. Does anyone who follows Major League Baseball think Kevin Millwood looks a little bit like the Madd Scientist?

  9. get the LA post up. this shits gettin old. PFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

    I’m going to the brewers game today (by myself) and then to the bucks game (w/ eros) other than that, not much to share… the battle for the post bachelor party is raging between montamarte and the tornado… ahhh… yeah. not much to share.
    whazzzzz……………………………………………..

  10. Ah, Jen. “don’t be scurred”. I’ll lay off your mom (again) but you didn’t rebutt the fact that you want the beef…

    wow. the brewers lost to the expos. when you’re there, you’re gonna get smoked by randy johnson. strap a lot of vodka to your socks, boys, you’re gonna need it.

    I’m sending $40 with madd to ride that black bet. no wait, did that come out wrong?

  11. I cum bearing the gift of battle rap ability
    that will rock this whazz post facility:

    What I like to do most is spit this game like sports announcers
    And will pity pat them hoez down like a gentlemen club bouncer
    Ounce of killa dilla, be making my game more flagrant
    And once I done had some Cuervo ’bout six shots I’m nothin to play wit
    Like plug sockets and babies, possums, raccoons, and rabies
    Maybe Lady Luscious oba kaybee so they say thee
    An old school playa pimp type ass nigga like Tony Mercedes
    And will work every last muscle off in your body like Billy Blanky
    Hanky panky, where did you get your gold grill cause it’s banging
    And I like then redhot Fila straight from Walters off the chain

  12. MR. Whazzmaster, I’m not sure what whazz is i must be out of the loop but im sure your the master of it. You must be pretty cool considering you live in California yet worry about what a kid in Wisconsin writes about. You use really cool swear words to make your self feel good, I used to do that too.(when i was 8) Your out of college but still talk about high school.(nice) I am not a journalism major so I do not worry about grammar, but my major is giving you and the entire city of San Mateo the beating of your lives. So instead of having someone else punch Dan in the face why dont you try it yourself, stop on by on the way to your bachelor party Madison’s not that far from Milwaukee, hell if you want we can meet you there. Bring all your cool friends as I would enjoy beating all of them down too. Put up or shut up Haiku writing pussy.

  13. How is it possible for a college major to beat someone’s ass? Like rolling up the degree as if it were a newspaper? That’s not a major though, that’s a degree. Also, does a city have an ass that can be beat? Hmmm crazy renegade poster is very confusing.

  14. Madd Scientist, I may be just a small simpleton from Madison who likes to talk about how big I am, but even I know that you didn’t mean to say “pummle” again. Is that pronounced “pum-lay” or “pum-lee”? (You know I’m just messing with you. Love Rock Chalk)

  15. WEll guys, I was just shown this sight by my buddy the wassmastersux and i feel that i have to back him up on that. Apparently we have been brought in to a one dimentional world here where we have to make fun of a journalism student, talk about auditor’s to a college student(fellas when you only make $5000 during the summer you dont have to pay taxes, way to make up his fiance’), and find time to post stuff on this website constantly all while watching babylon 5/the Bachelor and trying to jackoff to pictures of Jack Osborne. Well we wont be fighting you guys because i am afraid of the swords that they used in Star Wars, Hans Solo was out of control. Maybe we should get together on a $3 table of roulette and hash this out. Ill supply the drinks(all for free) and then if push comes to shove we can do some Walker Texas Ranger trivia and play some Magic Cards.(to the death) Now seriously guys, i think that i have catered to what you guys enjoy in your free time. Now let the academic decathalon begin!

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