Golfing, A Wedding, and My Goddamned Name

Me and Cal went golfing on Sunday. We were put with another player by himself. A fella by the name of Barry. Barry was a pretty kind older gentleman who, every 6 holes or so, would let loose with a string of swears. Neither I nor Cal understood why. He’d be talking about something like how nic it is to be playing next to the resovoir, when all of a sudden he’d say, “Those fuckers don’t know shit about how to run a goddamned golf course.” Or something like that.

When we got to the 6th hole tee boxes, we got to see all the way down into the watershed area, which was really cool. About 100 yards from where we were drinking beer and hitting tiny balls into the trees, some poor couple was trying to get married. Barry asked if we wanted our pictures taken, and so we got two nice pictures: 1 of the wedding and the beautiful countryside and 1 of Cal looking gay:


Looking southwest from the 6th tee.


Me playing up my steez and Cal looking gay.

Probably the most ridiculous thing I had to put up with over the course of the round was Barry calling Cal… Cal. On the first tee we said, “I’m Zach, and this is Cal. Actually, his name is Zach too, but you can just call him Cal.” Barry took all of this in stride and didn’t ask why he should call Zach Cal. He just did. Now I call Cal Cal all the time, it’s actually weird to think about him as Zach. But deep down I know Cal is just a dumb made-up name we gave him because he played a video game. Hearing a 55 year old man yell out things like “Watch it Cal! The green slopes down over there!” or “Hey Cal, I found your ball!” from across the golf course was very strange.

Barry emailed our pictures to us within 10 secodns of leaving the course. Good ol’ Barry.

Cal can add more to this if he wants. I have to get back to work.

–whazz on

53 thoughts on “Golfing, A Wedding, and My Goddamned Name

  1. let’s pretend to be Kobe Bryant. Look at me I’m Kobe Bryant. Yeah I’m cool.

    Joke still sucks no matter who told it, where they told it, or how they told it.

    If you want a quality joke look at my cock. Now that’s funny.

    Man people around here take things too serious. Madd’s comment was funny then you had to come back and thank him for sticking up for you like you were attacked by a rabid ostrich with 6 STDs. SETTLE THE FUCK DOWN

    Commence back to the fun stuff. (Madd sucks my funny looking cock)

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