house deeeez nootz

in more housing news, the place is ours and i got $2000 in cash in my pocket to put on the security deposit. question: should i go and put the deposit down or do something else with the money? discuss.

also, assuming i go with plan A and get the house… to the roomates and anyone else that wants to chime in: digital cable or directv? i vote digital cable if it is the box that my dad has. the one ro has is jank-o. fucking advertisements on the only screen i can use to change the channel?? also i have had a nightmare experience with directv at cinnebar.

discussion topic number 3… erin, when will you be here to sign the lease? could you be around november 21st before 5pm? then we get the keys and rent starts on saturday the 22nd. we can not sign the lease before we take possesion, and we can not get into the house before we sign the lease. saturday i am going to a football game, so i can’t do it then unless they are open early.

not enough topics…. ok… KFC… health food or rediculously bad for you?

GMC: thoughts on the stripper pole situation? maybe put it in the garage? i’m torn.

no dogs. no cats. and because ro has a dog, lets ban her too just to be safe.

i am also curious as to:
1. who is going to have sex in the pool first.
2. how everyone else is going to react to it.

total gym 1500… has a better piece of exercise equiptment ever been built? i say nay. and chuck norris is in my corner so watch out.


96 thoughts on “house deeeez nootz

  1. I would rather have DirecTV if we could swing it, because it’s easy to order PPVs and season packages. Don’t know how to do it or even if we could do it with D.Cable.

  2. Stripper pole, well I think I would need to see the layout of the house first. If Erin doesn’t want it in the basement/living room, my room or the “office” may be a great spot. Or since our house is so pimp already, why not add a small stage next to the pool for the stripper pole with all the fixins (lights, music and such)

    Sex in the pool…the married couple doesn’t count because we all know them and they’ll do it wherever. The real competition is between Madd and GMC.

    Cable…don’t really care. You guys can decide that one on your own.

  3. 1. I don’t understand why there are whazzers without a pic on their bellman profile. And you call yourselves whazzers…

    2. Who is going to be at Whazzgiving? Am I going to be alotted kitchen time to whip up my dessert?

    3. Hello? Hello? Is anyone out there?

  4. Here is the up-to-the-minute guest list. If I know what you are responsible for, you have an item in parens, if not you have ???, so let me know what you are doing if you have ??? by your name. People with a * in FRONT of their name are not guaranteed at this point. If you have a *, please tell me whether or not you are coming.
    1. zachery (turkey)
    2. Rock Chalk (mashed potatoes)
    3. wirkuswhazz (???)
    4. bellgirl (???)
    5. madd scientist (???)
    6. rach-o kovar (???)
    7. jen h. (pie)
    8. *cal (tofurkey)
    9. *Greg (???)
    10. *Meridel (???)
    11. *Cheryl (???)
    12. *timmah (???)
    13. *SDS (???)
    14. *Ro (???)

    Here is a list of items we may want to have someone pick up to provide if they do not have an assigned item yet:
    -green beans
    -ice cream
    -pumpkin pie
    -that cranberry shit that Cal likes

    We’re getting down to crunch time, so everyone give me some goddamned information so this will be the finest Whazzgiving of all time.

  5. Wow, an outdoor stripper pole. Has that been done? Of course, I will not be participating if I want to stay happy and married.


    How random are carrots and corn? Why don’t I see vodka on that list?

  7. Look, I like you Jen. I like you a lot. You’ve always been a good friend. But if you ever assume the temerity to ask me if vodka will be present in my house again I will kick you into the grill. My refrigerator will be empty except for mustard and I’ll still have 2 or more bottles of vodka in my house.

    2. To the Old Man: so far, so good. It works better when your wife likes football and hates shopping.

  9. 1. Thank you for the clarification. I am bringing a secret pie that will preclude the necessity of a pumpkin pie. That is all I can tell you. I have been sworn to secrecy.

    2. Whew. Now there is a sigh of relief. When I saw your “Whazzgiving Grocery List” I was like, what? No vodka? What kind of holiday do these people think we’re having? Some kind of lovefest where we all politely nibble at turkey after saying grace and then round robin around the table telling everything that we’re thankful for? (I’ll tell you what I’m thankful for, you bitches, when you all shut your goddamn mouths for five seconds so I can have some peace) Who are these people? Do I even really know them? No vodka? Are we really friends?

    Freak out is over. I knew it deep in my heart all along: a holiday just isn’t a holiday without vodka present. Grocery list or no.

    I want to hook Cal up to an IV of vodka to skip right from Sober Boring Cal to Belligerant Cal. I think it’s do-able, people.

  10. the Old Man wants to know what Picaresque Day is. He also wants to know if there are roguish adventures involved.

  11. Old Man, join the Picaresque Day team! I’ll give you the quick & dirty version. You put all the Madison bars in a hat, pick one out, go there for a drink, pick the next bar, go there for a drink, and repeat. There are 3 hats, organized by area (Stadium, State Street, and Capitol area), so that you get as much bar action as possible.

    Whazzgiving: I believe the Madd Scientist is in charge of the green bean adventure. He seems excited about it. He mentioned some form of green bean casserole(“hotdish” for you insaniacs from Minnesota).

    Madd Scientist, let me know what you think about this lease signing debacle.

  12. lease signing done and done.

    we sign this saturday at 11am.

    she said the lease starts then… i was like, we don’t want to pay the $500 rent for that week cause we don’t need it… can we get the keys the following saturday?

    and she was all… no… the lease is the start date, just sign it then. i explained rocks situation and she was like, well then i would have to hold it an have a gap in the lease… well… ummmmm…. then she gave me a smile and i gave her the “girl you know i would hit it” smile back and she melted and said “OK… i’ll be here at 11am”.

    also in the period i was there the kid did no less than 3 business deals and took my 2S cash and counted and labled it like it wasn’t no thing. he is the true brains behind the sandy adams family of associates… trew playa playa.

  13. Thank you Madd Scientist; you are too kind to put up with my shit. Zach, do you want to go to Shirley’s going away party at Brigitte’s at 7:30 on Saturday?

  14. jen… zach said he wants a pumpkin pie. i want a pumpkin pie. he asks someone to bring a pumpkin pie. you tell everyone in CAPS not to bring a pumpkin pie. then you announce that you are not bringing a pumpkin pie but somethingn other than pumpkin pie.

    it is thanksgiving. there must be a pumpkin pie. if you aren’t brining a pumpkin pie, leave it on the list. in fact, i am going to bring a pumpkin pie. i will also bring a casterole of some sort and a case of country club 40s.

    hol. ler.

  15. Congrats to madd, GMC and the Moneypenny’s on your new house. There will definately be some crazi moments up in that bitch…

    am i really not allowed? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  16. john wayne was a pimp amongst cowboys…god damn, he musta had the floss that day. he flossed more than a dentist.

  17. name the movie & you win a free 12er of beer: your choice, but you split it w/ me.

    ‘309 times in a row…that must be some sort of record…a 2 pound, 6 inch brim stetson, 53 feet…that must be some sort of record.’

  18. why can’t you update your foto after you’ve posted one, then erased it, then tried to put a new one in….work on the site zach. c’mon, this is skrillacone valley…not austin, texas.

  19. Fine, you bitches, you don’t want a super Thanksgiving surprise, then FINE.

    I am making a pumpkin pie cheesecake (two, actually, so you assholes better eat it; I’m making a practice run tonight). It is the best dessert in the world. It not only has all of the elements of your everyday midwestern Thanksgiving pumpkin pie (graham cracker crust, pumpkin from a tin can), but lots of cream cheese, thereby satisfying everyone’s dessert needs. You whiny ass bitches (actually, just that whiny ass bitch Madd Scientist) make me fuckin crazy!

    This was the perfect solution for all those who A) don’t like pumpkin pie, but feel forced to indulge for the sake of the rediculous tradition and B) like cheesecake better anyway (Zach).

    R U happy now? Bitches.

  20. I was reading some trivia today. One was that the average person passes gas 14 times a day. I thought that was a lot of flatulence, then realized I was already up to 4 by 9:00am.

  21. Old Man,
    That’s really gross.

    Have you thought of the prefix: an.
    I think it would make your name very enigmatic.
    Also appropriate: dirty
    perhaps: perverted
    very fitting: flatulent

  22. Ooh… I like that, “an enigmatic old man”, very mysterious. A riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in some bacon. mmmm… bacon casterole with hasbrowns. Katie, it’s like you’ve known me for years.

  23. Getting back to the topic- I saw the TV commercial last night about how healthy KFC was, low fat, low carbs, chicken yourself to slimness. Right. Gobbling greasy ass fried chicken is going to take off some of that extra giggle you got going. Wash it down with some nice “diet” Michelob.

  24. Ro, I would like to extend an invitation to you to join me in my home at any time. Summer will be a particularly good time to stop by, as a dip in the pool might be very refreshing just then.

    Scott, I see you’re interested in Ro dropping off her slutty girlfriends at my house. Does this mean you might actually get in your car and drive over once or twice? I believe you have two perfectly good automobiles, neither of which I see very often…

    Jen, I’m sure the pumpkin cheesecake will be fabulous. In every way. I will ensure that you have the proper utensils to prepare such a thing. We shouldn’t be short on space in the new kitchen.

    Why is the stripper pole going in the garage? (1) Strippers are people too. Who are you to force them to hang out in the garage? (2) The pole was Casperson’s idea – why don’t you allow him some time to find a job, make some money, and then lure the stripper home before you put up a pole? Casperson, I think you need to discuss the actions that should be taken in this arena with Luke, Blaine, and Dan.

    Pool table. Not sure. Zach and I don’t really play… not a big fan.

  25. I have to disagree, RC. From previous personal bring a striper to Thanksgiving dinner experience, strippers do indeed belong in the garage along with the dogs and extra beer that won’t fit in the fridge.

  26. And she wated to be called a “dancer” not “stripper”. Unfortunately, she was more haughty than naughty.

  27. Big brown dogs will eat the pumpkin pie from the counter if left unsupervised in the kitchen. The stripper was never left unsupervised, so I’m not sure what bad things she would have done.

  28. I’ll bring my MilkShake to Whazzgiving. It’s better than yo’s. Damn right, it’s better than yo’z.

  29. 1. actually, i believe the stripper pole was my idea, madd & i have a bet on who will get one first.
    2. seeing how you won’t live 100 miles away round trip…yeah, i might drop by if there are sluts dancing on a pole. sorry for being a smarter drunk driver than madd is. i can walk to over 10 bars/clubs w/in a half a mile. why drive to san matty?
    3. yes, strippers are people too, but not girls gone wild. those girls are stupid drunk whores who gets no respect.
    4. get the pool table & i might bless you w/ my presence if the pole dancing sluts aren’t around.

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