Whazzmaster.com: Milwaukee Stopover

Last night LosDogg and I went up to Milwaukee to have some fun with Wirkusswhazz and Parker. Parker was, as always, wrinklely and fun. Wirkuswhazz was non-grumpy and a terrific host/guide. We started out the evening with a competitive game of Scrabble. Wirkuswhazz talked a big game, but in the end Arlo went out of tiles with R-E-E-F with me holding my dick and a J. Wirkuswhazz was stuck with tiles also and the final was Arlo (185), then Zach (172), then Wirkus (171). After all that boasting he came in last place. So sad at his age, really. We drank some High Life while we played, and right before we left to go out again I had a shot of absinthe that Wirkuswhazz still had from when he went to Europe.

We took Parker for a walk and getting the “lay of the land” around the Milwaukee River. Wirkuswhazz showed us where adventures along the river’s shore could be had. We took Parker back to the house and went to the hottest, trendiest nightspot in Milwaukee: the redroom. There were no customers, only us and the bartender. Since no one was around to hear me but my friends, I launched into a soul-cleansing tirade about the state of Politics in America. After a while, the bartender informed us that George W. Bush should be imprisoned for War Crimes for starting a Preventative War (which IS illegal in international law). I love drinking in bars near colleges.

Our small group of drinkers did a whirlwind tour of the bars-in-houses of the Brady Street area. We were able to see pretty much the whole Packer MNF game, which was great by the way, and get ripped on $5 pitchers of High Life. Milwaukee rocks. We stopped at Wolski’s (alas, I did not Close Wolski’s), went to Wirkuswhazz’s favorite bar (all I can remember is a big J on the awning), and then hit up Pizza Shuttle for some dinner. Pizza Shuttle sells any food you could want while drunk. They also had $4 pitchers of MGD. I was happy that I could continue drinking while satisfying my tummy.

We walked over to Club Brady to play some Golden Tee Classic and finish watching the football game. Wirkuswhazz bet me that I couldn’t do better than -5 on the Rancho of Classic. I ended up tying for best score with a -18. In the game I had an eagle hole out from 170 yards out, and a hole-in-one. Just when they showed the records that I had got, Arlo and Wirkus flailed at the trackball in murderous jealousy and changed my name from RAJ to QQJ. I hate those fuckers.

After the game we went back to Chez Wirkus because the dog needed to go out for a walk and I had to take a massive drunken dump. Wirkus said I was in the bathroom for a half hour, which I don’t quite remember. After resting my butthole by sitting on the fluffiest cushion on the couch, I was ready to go back out for more. It was about midnight at this point, and Arlo was passed, as we say, the fuck out. So Wirkuswhazz and I left to go to Halliday’s Irish Pub to meet with Sean and Kristen, who had driven into town from Waukesha (i think). We had quite a nice conversation with them until the bartender politely came up to us and asked if we could head to the door because he was going to close down. We politely followed his wishes.

I don’t remember much after that but I woke up this morning on WWhazz’s couch, so I guess we must have gotten home at some point. There was also a door-decorating contest in WWhazz’s dormito– I mean, apartment building. We were really excited about winning until we found out that it wasn’t just the 30-odd people living in that building, but the thousands of units all over the city that the one management company owned. We were less enthusiastic then.

So TDAC 2003 seems to be on schedule for December 26th, 2003. Looks to be a fun time (again) this year. Dinner at Waves, drinking to follow at Moneypenny house, then drinking to follow that out and about in the town of Racine, WI. Holler back, young-un.

–whazz on

13 thoughts on “Whazzmaster.com: Milwaukee Stopover

  1. Dude, you forgot the most nutz moment of the night: when we were at Wolskie’s, a cop barged into the bar with a sack. In the sack was a very large black and white snake. Arlo suspects it was a corn snake. Apparently the lady who lives next door to Wolskie’s found the snake in her apartment and called the police. The police were so proud that they apprehended the snake that they had to bring it in the bar to show it to all the drunks. Needless to say, all the drunks (including me) were thoroughly impressed.

  2. mike’s turtle free vacation

    i went to feed mike’s turtles, just the other day
    came in his sheets, cause you know i’m quite gay
    i found his stash, it wasn’t hidden very well
    took a little, made me feel really swell
    nothing in the kitchen, so i made turtle soup
    the next mourning, i had a nice poop !
    i shat, i spat, i played tecmo bowl
    whooping tim’s ass, took a mighty toll
    no more turtles, i won’t be feeding them again
    just like they say, they tasted like hen
    now when mike comes back, he’ll be fatter than fat
    whining, i hate you, damn dirty rat

  3. god damn it.

    zach, please feed the turtles when you get back.

    and, hide my stash better.


  4. hey yo…ephedra friend zach, u probably heard, but stacker 2 will be off the market in roughly 60 days.

  5. Back in California. Thank you for getting our mail Timmah! The trip back was a goddamn disaster. The fucking fabulous friendly sky people lost my bag with all my clothes in it (as a result, I am in a Zach-provided outfit right now). They were nice enough to remember the one in which we packed our Scrabble game though, so Zach and I can have Ultimate Scrabble Battle (USB). SDS came to pick us up at the airport, and she was circling the airport for an hour before she went insane. Thank you again, and I’m sorry about that Heather. I won the GT football pool, so that’s cool. Has anyone heard anything about Zach’s camera?

  6. No problemo. also thank weakasslittle bitch. He ate a turtle or two also.

    Hey are you at work today? Cause we were going to stop buy to feed the turtles / get the mail, and we’ve got a Tecmo bowl score to settle.

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