I’m Down With The Sickness

I AM SICK. Goddammit.

United flight back to Cali was pure fucking shit. From the gate change to the sittin-at-the-back-o-the-plane to the fucking child screaming “I WANT TO SIT BY THE WINDOW!” at his dad to the fucking airline losing our luggage, it was not a pretty site. In addition, I woke up this morning with a veritable cornucopia of delights such as fever, chills, cough, chest pains, sore throat, headache, and nausea. Yup, thanks for the flu. Either Wisconsin gave it to me or United did, but the only way I’m gonna be happy come tomorrow is if I win the $210 million Powerball drawing. If I win I think I’ll buy a Golden Tee 2004 machine.

Wisconsin was humming along swimmingly right up until the point where either I turned Alzheimer-ish and dropped my digital camera into the toilet, or someone stole it from me. And now we get to part where I blow my lid: YOU MOTHERFUCK. YOU DON’T HAVE THE CHARGER OR THE LINK CABLE, AND THE BATTERY WAS ALMOST DEAD. THAT CAMERA WAS OF NO USE TO YOU. FUCK YOU AND EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS. I HOPE YOU FALL INTO A SEPTIC TANK AND DIE. Needless to say, all of my pictures from December 19th-Dec 29th were in that camera. At this point, I alternate between being happy that its gone so that I get to buy a new model, and fucking pissed that all of my pictures are now in the hands of a greasy camera-stealing lunatic.

Of late, Tha Wife has taken an interest in poker. I have been teaching her the basics and she’s picking things up rather well. Since I suck myself, however, I think she will have to suckle from the Poker Knowledge Teat of the Madd Scientist. Once Casperson moves out here, I hope to see many games of Hold’Em at our house. In fact, I’m playing on pokerroom.com RIGHT NOW. I’m also deathly sick, so it’s either slump in a chair in front of the computer with a blanket over me playing poker on the internet, or masturbate furiously in bed for the next 4 hours.

I was in the middle of writing a complaint against modern politics when I got the chance to cleanse my bitter soul to Wirkuswhazz and LosDogg in Milwaukee. Since I no longer want to post that piece of shit I was writing, I’ll just drop some knowledge on you and hope you take my in-good-faith word that it’s worth your time and energy to visit these websites.

The Daily Kos — A really good political blog that keeps track of a) the sins of the Bush Administration and b) all of the Democratic presidential nominees. Good links to background info and follow-ups.
The Daily Howler — If you actually believe that Al Gore said he “invented the internet” please immediately read this full account of the spinning that took place on that particular Gore attack point. The Howler does a very good job of going into the data that all those pundits like to present on Fox News and actually research The Truth. A very good read.
Eschaton — Another political blog that follows very closely with the topics that Kos presents, albeit with a slightly lighter tone.

That’s three good ones to start you off. If there’s one thing that I’d like Whazzmaster.com to collectively pull off this year it’s for everyone to get out and vote in November. We don’t have to argue and debate if that pisses people off, but in light of 2000’s result, it’s clearer than ever that every vote counts. Even if you live in a state that will easily go Democrat, vote anyways to show HOW MUCH you want that Democrat to win. The public only knows what Fox News and CNN tell them, and if this election is anything like 2000, it will lies and half-truths from the top to the bottom.

One more thing: Clinton was impeached because the Republican-controlled Congress said that America was outraged over his conduct in office. The only data they had to back this up was polls that showed that some 30% of the nation believed Clinton should be impeached. When currently asked whether Bush should be impeached for breaking international law (starting a preventative war in Iraq) the polls show about 30% think he should be. Clinton WAS impeached because of a blowjob. Bush and the Re-pundi-cans want the nation to think that he’s doing a GREAT JOB and he CARES ABOUT THE TROOPS even though he waged an illegal war AND members of his administration treasonously revealed the identity of a CIA operative BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO PUNISH HER HUSBAND FOR PROVING THAT THEY LIED IN ORDER TO GO TO WAR. Does no one see this? This isn’t consiracy theory. This isn’t making up stories about how Clinton had Vince Foster murdered RIGHT BEFORE HIS PLANE CRASHED INTO THE GROUND. Bush favors only those people who donate to his massive warchest. Why is he stalling the 9/11 commision? Why is Dick Cheney fighting so that the Energy Task Force papers are not released? Why won’t the Administration cooperate with the Valerie Plame investigation? Why did we need a missile defense shield to combat men with box cutters? WHERE ARE/WERE THE WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION?

*puff, puff* I know that I sound hysterical. I’m not. I’m angry that the spread of misinformation has reached a point where rational humans want to butt their heads against walls. Every single one of the people who read this site is smart enough to read on their own and find out for themselves who did and said what. When Krauthammer tells you that Howard Dean is “a nut” because Krauthammer butchered Dean’s speeches to parse out exactly the sentences he was looking for, he does a disservice to the entire nation. Do not let them lie to you.

Now I’ll get right back to swearing at little people on pokerroom.com and attempting to gather the Whazzgiving 2003 pictures into a ZIP file so’s y’all can download them.

Happy New Year (and so help me God if you have my camera and I find out, I will eat cereal out of your fucking skull)!

–whazz on

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