Royal Rumble 2004 (In Color, Where Available)

So last night we had several close acquaintances over to watch what is normally the best WWF show of the year: The Royal Rumble. A 30 man Battle Royal to decide who goes on to the Main Event at Wrestlemania in March. As is our custom, for every match you pick the winner before the opening bell; if your pick loses then you have to chug one (1) can of beer. Side bets are allowed (e.g., “hey, I bet you half a beer that the jilted ex-lover of that wrestler comes out and sticks a dildo in his ass resulting in a DQ” “you’re on man!”).

Prior to this PPV, the loser of the main event match also received, courtesy of the winners, one Flair Chop. For the Royal Rumble, though, we had to do something bigger and better. And thus I bring you:

The Pool Stipulation

Wherein, if, out of the 30 wrestlers in the Rumble, you pick the one who wins it all, you are allowed to perform one (1) wrestling move on any other contestant into the pool in our backyard. Guess who won? Me. Moneypenny. RAJ. Hell yes. What person did I choose? The Madd Scientist. What move did I do? A bulldog.

NOTE: To save these on your computer right-click on the images and select “Save Target As…”


Click to download, bitches.

Click here to download a slightly smaller version of the Bulldog. Oh yeah.

So after I did that everyone else wanted to get into the fun as well. So, without further ado, here are a few more idiots like myself doing wrestling moves into a swimming pool:


Oh Scientist, you take moves so well.


The deadly (when done onto concrete) F-U.

–whazz on

82 thoughts on “Royal Rumble 2004 (In Color, Where Available)

  1. I got me a pair of those joggers from U of C and they say “cal” on the ass. (woolf whistle) damn they look good on me.

  2. Cal – if you gain a little weight, you might have some ass to fill out your CAL sweats. Maybe the Fatt Scientist will offer you a loan…

  3. fucking idiots. i didn’t say you were not supposed to “excercise”. i didn’t even say you were not supposed to exercise. i said that it was banned because people over exerted themselves exercising while taking it, and i am not that stupid thus the ban does not apply to me.

    i’m not saying that my 20 minutes a day on chuck norris’ machine is anything special… i’m just saying that i hate you all.

    when i’m skinny i am going to eat most of you and get fat again. then i will poop you out.

    after that i’m not sure, but it could be anything.

    i’m crazy.

    yeah, suck on that, fuckers.
    holla.

  4. madd, the only thing you would do for 20 minutes on chuck norris’s machine is have a big meal cuz all the other seats were already taken up.

  5. no shit…and who the fuck is chuck Morris and what’s his machine all about. is that zach’s brother & albert clifford’s friend? is he related to the kung fu legend chuck Norris at all?

  6. madd, when u say the chuck norris machine, do u just mean you watch Walker, Texas Ranger for 20 minutes on the tv machine while the ephedra kicks in?

  7. fatribute: madd likes to eat the elephant animal crackers with hopes of turning into one.

  8. yo madd-

    look mayne, i think ur takin a lot of shit from errone….

    it’s just that ur morbidly obese and thus an easy target; i talked to Jared this morning and he is still recommending that the subway sandwich diet is better than Atkins and all that other shit…i told him that u smoke too much dope and subway ain’t no pizza when u rummage through the fridge;

    fuck em….eat, sleep, be merry, be fat…it’s not like we care…but for fucks sake, you’re gonna need an army of pallbearers to carry your dead fat ass

    WE WANT U TO BE HEALTHY….WE ARE UR FRIENDS….LET US ENCOURAGE U AND MAKE U THE CUDDLY MADD THAT WE KNOW U CAN BE!!!

  9. I am officially a blonde. A quick scenario for you to imagine the situation:

    (This morning in the office waiting impatiently for the coffee)
    Old Man: You know, it looks a lot better in the sunlight.
    Jen: (immediate knee jerk female quick reaction response) Are you trying to tell me that it looks bad in the artificial light?

    Jen: Can I really pull it off?
    Old Man: Of course you can. You’re Divalicious on the luxuryfashion message boards. Now you can be Divalicious in real life.

  10. Thanks, Jen, for emasculating me publicly on the whazz. “Your like a sister to me. I dont think of you that way. Lets be friends.” Masculinity fading… fading… gone.

    Ode to Jen’s Coif

    Framed with light, white snow her backdrop
    Sunlight streams through golden tresses
    Motes sparkle, celebrant attendants
    A fair-haired angel so very vivid
    I am blinded by her radiance

  11. I love logging in. And re-logging in. And then logging in again. Almost as much as I like HoHo’s with a side of Twinkies.

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