I Bet They Have A Camera In The Casket

A sad day indeed dawned as one of the foremost visionaries of television died today. Mary-Ellis Bunim is dead today at 57.

Where now will all the dumbs of the world get their weekly updates on what a bunch of pretty twentysomethings are doing in a lavish house? How indeed will America react when 6 drunkards can no longer ape and play for the cameras? Now that I think about it, how will tean girls be able to live out their fantasies of traveling through South Asshole, Wyoming in a Winnebago? The kissing, the “hook ups”, the DRAMA (I meant that in the “baby-momma-drama” sense of the word, not the Shakespearean drama sense). HOW WILL WE CONSUME UTTERLY VAPID ENTERTAINMENT NOW?

And the answer is: Jonathon Murray still lives to carry on the torch of entertainment mediocrity. He is already interviewing cast members for Real World: Candy Land where we see what happens when people stop being polite and start being real in a gingerbread house in Fantasyland! He’s already cast the jewish princess, the hip-hop thug, the white guy from Montana, and the homosexual. I think he’s still looking for the Piltdown Man, a hot dog vendor, and Donald Trump so that the house will be the ultimate take on “reality”.

Piltdown Man: “urrrr”
hip-hop man: “Yo dawg, this ape-man is buggin!”
white guy: “buggin!? I don’t understand your ‘street slang’ HOMEY”
Donald Trump: “You are all beneath me.”
hot dog vendor: “Hey Donald, want to buy a hot dog?”
Donald: “yes”
hot dog vendor: “$400”
homosexual: “ssomebody jusst got sswindled!”

I hate reality TV. Dave Chappelle is funny. The fact that I used up 8 precious hours of my life to watch the Soroity Life marathon last spring makes me want to fucking puke.

Again, Mary-Ellis Bunim dead at 57.

–whazz on

8 thoughts on “I Bet They Have A Camera In The Casket

  1. I’m not fat people! It’s just that my body naturally retains KFC (Kitchen Fresh Chicken), pizza, and beer.



  2. in that case, you must have like a 75lb shit ready to pop out at any second. best a luck. try metamucil.

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