Last night the roomies went down to the local T.G.I.Friday’s for some down home suburban excitement. I saw my future in the human beanbag sitting by the bar and realized that I had better keep my diet up. I WANT TO BE THIN. If only for a day, I want to live the world the way the Judd Jacobs and the Scott Fourniers do. Come off it Scott, you’re fucking thin. You have like 10% body fat or some shit. Go puke after lunch you bulimic whore.
Just joking people. Also Scott is, in fact, correct in his observation:
“if only u could fit a no-fun-sombrero around a whole house…”
I made a mockery of friendly comraderie last evening when, returning home from a dinner of steak and steamed vegetables, I decided not to travel down to San Jose to go to the show at Agenda. I apologize. How was the show? I definitely have to make more of an effort to get out. See, right now our house functions as sort of a carnival. You’ve got everything under one roof: drinking, gambling, video games, movies, a restaurant, sex. You have to understand that it gets hard to motivate oneself to leave. “Why should I go? I can have just as much fun here.” is the prevailing thought. I know that thought is misguided. I think it has something to do with the current weather, too. I mean, honestly, after all I said above, pile on the fact that it’s raining and cold outside all the time. Would you want to leave the House of Stuff To Do to go out into it? You’d probably be delighted to live in such a place.
Again, sorry to all I have disappointed. These are causes of the problem; they’re not meant to be excuses.
By the way, I have a question to all of my English major friends out there. It’s been bothering me for some time and I would like a critique. Have I been using semi-colons correctly in my writing? I’ve tried to pepper them throughout my posts in what I think are correct usages, but I’m not sure if it’s appropriate. KatieK? Wirkuswhazz? Big Show? BrianK? Anyone? Am I a writing super-genius, or a schmuck who presumes too much to think he knows how to use one of the most baffling punctuation marks in existence?