Wrestlemania XX: Where I Get Really Drunk… Again

My head hurts. I awoke at approximately 3:00 this morning flailing in my bed in very wet underwear. My saliva glands in my mouth basically said, “Fuck it. We’re not workin anymore.” I started to have delusions that there was a man standing outside my bedroom window laughing murderously. I couldn’t tell if the bedroom door was open or closed. I think I proposed to GMC that I pay him $60 to clean the entire house. I awoke to find a note on my bathroom mirror that said “I stayed up all nite and cleaned the entire house as you requested. –RC”. In short, another successful Wrestlemania, I guess.

Not too successful, mind you. Erin went to stay a friend’s house for the evening. There’s beer all over the house. Half of all the clothes I own are wet in a basket on my hallway floor. But in a world where Scientist blacks out on a regular basis, I got drunk enough to fall down a lot. That’s something I hadn’t done in months, maybe even going back to the Bachelor Party.

There were two main aspects to yesterday’s partying: Pool Party BBQ and Wrestlemania. Me and GMC started out the day by nearly blacking out by blowing up to very large rafts that we had bought at Target. One was your run-of-the-mill double-sized raft with a pillow while the other one was some contour-shaped monstrosity that we thought would be cool. Oh how very wrong we always are; that dumb raft is impossible to lay down on. We’re now sure that the young lady laying on the raft on the box was airbrushed in. There’s no way that she actually mounted and stayed on that crazy thing.

Once we had the things seaworthy, we launched them and hopped on. We then proceeded to use them in all possible ways that disobeyed the printed warnings on the sides. “Do not use alcoholic beverages on or nrar this device.” (yes, it actually said “nrar”) Ha! “Do not jump onto this device or stand while on it.” Pssssh. “Do not use this as a life-saving flotation device.” I personally used one of the rafts to save no less than 3 lives yesterday.

We had a pretty good time drinking, jumping around, drinking, playing in the water, drinking, sitting out in the sun, and drinking. 4nyay, fuddruckus, Amander, and Neetha (??) got there around 3pm and so we had an additional hour of playtime before Wrestlemania began at 4pm.

Just before Wrestlemania started I switched from beer to margaritas, a truly poor choice in retrospect. I was making big cups of margaritas with 3 or so shots of tequila in there. They tasted delicious. I was pretty drunk, but still functional, when I prepared our dinner (beef kabobs with Zach’s Special Sauce via the Weber Book of Grilling). Erin helped me skewer beautifully marinated beef and bell peppers. I would be truly drunko by the time those skewers came off of the grill.

Moneypenny: pre-Hogan shirt rip.

Moneypenny: post-Hogan shirt rip.

One highlight: at one point GMC and madd scientist took turns blading in the bathroom. GMC face was eventually a mask of blood; scientist eventually had a small trickle coming down his face. I think this was the point where Rachel went away. Around that time I was walking around falling down a lot. At one point I knocked over a bunch of beers and my wife went apeshit nutso. I think that was when she decided she wasn’t staying in our house that night.

Due to the sensitive nature of the pictures, I’ll post a link so you can visit them if you want. WARNING: blood is everywhere, so don’t be a pansy and click but then post that you are horrified. OK, here we go: picture1, picture2, picture3, and picture4.

More random pics:

GMX Flexin.

4ynay puts GMX in a submission move.

I have no idea what this is.

After most people left for the evening (I was my drunkest around 9pm) me, GMC, and scientist went and hopped back into the pool for awhile. The water was surprisingly a very nice temperature. We relaxed out there for awhile before going back inside to watch some Chappelle Show reruns.

In retrospect I didn’t really see any of the show after the Brock/Goldberg match, which I didn’t see in its entirety. I’ve read some recaps online that were saying the crowd absolutely booed Brock and Goldberg out of the damn building. I think I’ll sit down and watch the replay on Tuesday to see that. The Undertaker return was quite possibly the gayest thing I have ever seen. Not only did it not live up to my expectations, but after 6 months off to retool I’m pretty sure everyone thought it was dumb. It was just the Undertaker in his same old janitor outfit but with a wide-brimmed hat. OOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOooooooh! Fuck you, Undertaker; you’re just dumb.

Hopefully we’ll get some pictures from GMC’s camera up when I get home from work today. I’ll try to get them up as soon as possible. Viewer discretion may be advised for some of the blading shots.

Final scorecard (for me): an estimated 10 beers plus 3 giant cups of margaritas. That was a lot for someone who doesn’t drink massive amonuts of liquor much anymore. Hey GMC, is there any beer left in the house from yesterday?

–whazz on

75 thoughts on “Wrestlemania XX: Where I Get Really Drunk… Again

  1. scientist…you’re retarded…u guyz aren’t a thugg mansion. ya’ll relationship mansion or some shit. this shits gay and wack at the same time.

  2. fuck u…shut eye dot com…ya’ll habitual line steppers…i’m fin ta get madd niggerish…sorry for the use of the n word jen, but i’m upset…in fact i’m gonna call u to discuss my problems, i hope you’re awake. what?!!?!?!…oooooooookaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy?!?!?! yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

  3. jen’s fone didn’t answer me, neither did judo’s, relationship mansion’s, matt’s, madd’s…o fuk it, ya’ll sook deek. i’m done and o yeah, done.

  4. 1. Jen H’s answering machine died. Jen does not answer the phone when she’s sleeping. FYI. As if you didn’t already know that from experience, I will once again state the obvious: men are stupid. It amazes me again and again that men run the world when they act so goddamn braindead all the time. End Rant.

    2. I have changed my mind. I want a law that says the gays can’t get married. If the gays get married like the breeders, I will be left alone to carry the Single & Fabulous banner all by myself, and I just don’t know if I am strong enough to fight the good fight solo.

    3. I saw E-Roz on Thursday. I was at Maduro’s with some friends after the gay Jesus play having dirty ‘tinis. E-Roz blasted in with this girl, made some small talk, did a shot and was on his merry way. I wonder what his world is like…

  5. In my experience most men are stupid. And don’t worry Jen, I’ll wave the single and fabulous banner with you.

  6. 1. Thanks, Rachel.

    2. If anyone is in the market for a good book, I would highly, 200% suggest “The Price of Loyalty: George W. Bush, the White House and the Education of Paul O’Neill”. It is AMAZING. I’m only half way through and it talks about how the first tax cut was almost a total scam (projections of the surplus were actually $500 billion instead of hte $1.2 trillion that was sold to the public), and how in the first few days of the GWB White House how senior officials were already planning an invasion of Iraq. Plus, it’s a really easy and entertaining read. Author is Ron Suskind. This is especially a great book, because it is a critique from the inside, not just another “preachin’ to the choir” kind of deal.

    3. How was Vegas?

  7. I watched “Kissing Jessica Stein” this weekend. How come no one has told me about this movie? I loved it, and I was laughing out loud pretty much the whole time. Jenny, I know you must have seen it. I blame you for my naivete.

  8. Scientist came, went to meeting, left.

    Oh, how I envy the life of the scientist, and his 30 minute+ workdays…

  9. RC – you’re funny. Yes, I did see “Kissing Jessica Stein”; Alona dragged us to the movie because she likes and makes us do lots of things with a lesbian theme. I was so surprised at the end when she broke up with that girl, in fact I exclaimed loudly as the credits started rolling: BUT EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL! (which was partly a reference to teh Moulin Rouge – remember when we saw that together? I cried through the whole movie, I was so stoned.)

  10. Back from Vegas and cleaned up now. I’ll try assembling a post between noon today and end of day tomorrow. The short form: I’m broke.

  11. Also Back, semi-cleaned up. The long story short form: I’m broke in the following ways: mind, body, soul and let’s not forget $$$$.

  12. You know, I was going to say something to the tune of how I always wanted to do vile things to you Ryan… but I think I’ll bite my tongue.

    If not just to protect my identity, then just cos your hair looks like crap. ::smiling::
    – ???

Comments are closed.