Zach’s Meeting Journal

I am currently in a meeting that is a complete and utter waste of my time. They made it “mandatory” because they knew there was no fucking way I’d show up otherwise. To make it worse, they passed around a sign-in sheet to ensure the mandatoriness of it all. A fuking sign-in sheet. Sooooo, what the meeting is about is unimportant. Wholly crap, as the motto page stresses. As such, I won’t be talking about what’s happening in the meeting. I’ll instead be using this space to let my mind wander during this waste of time. This colossal, enormous waste of time.

First and foremost: I think I’d like to go to Nola’s for din-din tonight. Giant hurricanes and sangria sounds pretty good about now. Erin can have a mojito.

This is brilliant. Eberyone thinks I’m taking notes. In actuality, I’m writing swears down:

fuck, bitch, shit, ass, mojo

I don’t really know where that last one came from.

Last night’s basketball game was quite the slaughter. Our team had (and continues to have) problems in the following areas:

**Inbounding the ball
**Dribbling
**Shooting (except for Aman and threes)
**Passing
**Fielding a full 5 player team (at least for some portions of the game)

Sometimes I wonder if the Midwest will ever rise up, beat their cheeseheads into weapons, and storm the coasts. Then the entire nation would bow to the might of Wis-kaan-saan.

I am falling asleep. No. Really. I think someones gonna be pissed when my head cracks down onto the conference table.

{picture of bat with top hat holding turkey removed}

Above: a flying monkey serving me a fully cooked turkey.

BORDER BORED BORED BORED BORD!

And now: a poem:

Aaron Money was a man;
Aaron Money hatched a plan.
Get a job eat corn on cob
and never wash a pan.

The following is how I rank airlines that I’ve flown recently:

1. Midwest
T2. American Airlines
T2. United
4. Northwest

TWO HOUR MEETING… WE ARE AT ONE HOUR AND TWENTY-TWO MINUTES. I REALLY REALLY HAVE TO PEE.

Just got back from peeing. I feel better.

The End.

–whazz on

58 thoughts on “Zach’s Meeting Journal

  1. the elderly woman was simply making a non-confrontational assessment of your work ethics.

    she thinks you are a lazy whore.

  2. My towns gone craaaaaazy:

    Last Saturday some chick got kidnapped, now the dude is on the run and swat team dudes and choppers are after him.

    Not something you see everyday.

  3. They should just unleash the dogs on that guy. In addition to all the crazies and homeless people who have harassed me today.

  4. i dooked a duce this morning. then i wiped with preperation-h medicated toilet sheets.

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