Softball Game Two

Went 1-2 with no RBI’s. I was also infuriated that the game was ended after 5 innings due to the Kill Rule wherein if one team is killing the other team, the game stops. The final score was 21-5. Embarassing. My fielding was much improved, however, with no errors and several unbotched plays. My first at-bat I hit into a double play. I never realized how professional baseball players are that, if they do hit into a double platy, they don’t swing their bat at the first human they see.

Season Stats
G: 2
AB: 6
R: 1
H: 2
BA: .333
RBI: 2
HR: 0
BB: 0
SO: 0

Team Record: 1-1

–whazz on

30 thoughts on “Softball Game Two

  1. 1. Alona is on a gay softball team, and I have pledged to go to all of her games. The gay softball league features the Shamrock Bar’s traveling beverage car: a brightly painted green hatchback with a cooler(s) “manned” by a chain smoking drag queen dressed as a cheerleader.

    I can’t f***ing wait.

    2. Alona was injured at practice this week. She was trying to catch a ball, but since she’s afraid of it, it missed her glove and hit her in the arm. Her girlfriend is the pitcher, though, so I was like: what’s it like to be the girlfriend of the team jock?

  2. Holy hell. My league is just a bunch of guys who can’t play softball attempting to do that very thing that I just said they can’t do. Jen H.’s softball league sounds like an bad episode of Queer as Folk. Well, at least I was able flip off the ump and call his work “fucking shit” after being called out on a tie at first base. I thought ties went to the runner, fuckhead. Why the hate? Maybe cause you know I’m the greatest to ever play the game, as evidenced by my .333 batting average. I’m ready to drink tonight, folks.

  3. where do you play softball, zach? i was just wondering cuz i have a group of friends that are in a softball league and have games every tuesday night, like you do…i used to go to cheer them on all the time…no, actually, i just went for the cheap beer…

  4. Behind Mercado Theaters at Mission College. Usually there’s 3 games going on at once. The other two fields are other leagues, so maybe they play there too.

  5. Yo,

    I took Parker to the vet for a his yearly check-up, and to calm him down, the vet sprayed this stuff. The stuff? The bottle said “bitch nipple pheromone”

  6. god damn it. i just got 53rd out of 400 on the nightly $10,000 tourney. top 40 paid.

    K73. i have AK. chip leader has A7. i check, he bets a lot, i raise all in, he calls.

    7 on the turn.


  7. $20 single: first
    $20 single: third (bad bad beat)
    next $20 multi: out 90 of 160 (somewhat bad beat)

    up 60 or so on the night i guess.

  8. yo GMX…um, the general plan is to meet downtown at a few before 5 for the game. still hammering out a few details for the transportation, but by lunch there should be better details. judd or i will keep u posted. tentative plan is to have brian drive. there might be six of us, so one might have to sit in the back of his truck…depends on judd’s answers tomorrow. u might want to bring a ziploc or road mug.

  9. i read nothing, cuz if its that good i could watch it on tv or in the theaters.

  10. I celebrated Cinco de Mayo with the Old Man. We were supposed to have one beer and one tequila shot, but about 5 beers and 6 shots later I was passing out at 9 p.m.

  11. i’m reading ‘shogun: a novel of japan’ by james clavell cuz it’s a fucking awesome book! it’s about samurai and geishas and swords and seppuku and sex and religion and love and hate; it’s also 1000+ pages, so people like el capitan and judd who don’t know how to read will never be blessed enuff to experience it…i pity them…

    i also, just last night, finished ‘the pearl’ by john steinbeck. in an attempt to learn to read, judd started his own book club; as yet, there are only two members–ruckus and manders–and we only read books that are 100 pages or less (gotta start with baby food, before he can enjoy solids, you know?). do you know how hard it is to find good books under 100 pages? if you know of any, let me know; we need more fuel for the ruckus-manders club o’ books…

    thirdly, a couple of days ago, i finished reading jane austen’s ‘mansfield park’ for the ump-teenth time. why? cuz it had been awhile since i last read it (or any austen novel, for that matter), and cuz i wanted to remind myself just how much miss jane kicks ass in the victorian literature department…

    in conclusion, i like reading. that is all.

  12. aiight GMX…we’re going to meet at judd’s no later than 4:50pm & leave by 5. i’m going to judd’s at about 4:30 so i can pick up a 40 for the road. we’re bringing ziplocs for innings 1-4 & will get beers/sober up during innings 5-9. i’ll try to call you to verify this. i reckon brian will drive.

  13. I just finished reading Positively Fifth Street by Jim McManus. Great book; reccomended by wirkuswhazz. He also gave me Zen and the Art of Poker, which is a quick little read and has no plot or characters but is fun to fly through.

  14. i just finished reading ‘XXL.’ its a magazine that brings hip hop to the next level. fascinating insight into some of your favorite rappers & r&b divas. like zach’s book, not much plot, but still fun to read.

  15. 1. who is this strange manders person?
    2. 4nyay – i already knew that you don’t know how to read. it’s OK, baby – no love lost here.
    3. US Weekly is under 100 pages; maybe you can add that to Judd’s book club.

  16. i just finished reading ‘whazzmaster’…i am at capacity for today…maybe tomorrow i will read the menu at taco bell…


  17. I’m almost bought a subscription to the USA Today, today. I just wanted to see moneypenny’s face when it was sitting in the driveway.

  18. 100 page book?

    Denis Johnson, Jesus Son.

    Don’t worry it’s not ’bout Jesus as much as it’s about loons, pills and knives to the eye.

  19. 1 $2,500
    2 $1,500
    3 $1,000
    4 $800
    5 edrugtrader $500
    6 JJoff $400
    7 Hearttied $300
    8 skurkee $200
    9 reidshady $175
    10 BadAzCats $125
    11 LucKyOne111 $100
    12 VA-rake $100
    13 B_Bones $100
    14 Bird1234 $100
    15 darthboke $100
    16 bigcat11 $100
    17 jkrenner $100
    18 CBJ Nash 61 $100
    19 kaszaven $100
    20 Az Rich $100
    21 txsr123 $75
    22 air-king $75
    23 stickman26 $75
    24 AlSamood $75
    25 iarmed40c $75
    26 hatnyc62 $75
    27 regansguy $75
    28 scooby1000 $75
    29 QuinnCameron $75
    30 MR. TUNICA $75
    31 papa love $75
    32 Jinxer $75
    33 writeprefect $75
    34 The Rocks $75
    35 deucedoyle $75
    36 fpeter $75
    37 dano3 $75
    38 Tattoo Tom $75
    39 billtally $75
    40 Syekim13 $75


    the only reason i didn’t win this is because when i had Q8d, and the flop was Qs6d7d, some 2nd place in chips loony goes all in with Kc5c. he had 2 fucking outs, Kh, Ks… he got the spade. that fucker. so i went to last in chips with 10 left instead of 1st by 5 or times times over 2nd. i still fought back for 5th and played rocky music in my head for inspiration.

    also, i am fucking blazed, and played the entire tourney in this state.

    i am awesome.

  20. then in the $5+1

    1 RealDealVA Helena 87,627
    2 edmozz Salinas 63,349
    3 UTvols1 Salinas 54,063
    4 nicepair1 Helena 54,001
    5 hahapants10 Helena 44,180
    6 witthr Helena 29,527
    7 Dougie_103 Helena 25,447
    8 cardsandwine Helena 16,178
    9 McQuaid Helena 14,029
    10 Rozz Helena 9,099
    11 cooney54 FINISHED 0
    12 Southsider FINISHED 0
    13 rolln FINISHED 0
    14 C-Light FINISHED 0
    15 bjploppy FINISHED 0
    16 bogie1919 FINISHED 0
    17 The Lukewarm FINISHED 0
    18 RussVillain FINISHED 0
    19 greenroom FINISHED 0
    20 bl222 FINISHED 0
    22 Alohakid FINISHED 0
    23 KermGerm FINISHED 0
    24 bobbymman FINISHED 0
    25 edrugtrader FINISHED 0

    fucking 25th out of 300. only top 20 paid.

  21. For all teh 31337 poker players a question:

    Is it easier or harder to play poker online than in real life?

    I ask because it seems a lot of the movies/books/tv shows make reading people the #1 skill to being successful at poker.

  22. When online you play strictly scientific poker. The only way to read someone is to see how long it took their action to register. Mike can speak more to it, though.

  23. If you only play scientific poker do you use “cheats”, some program, table, etc to calculate your odds based on your hand?

  24. No, you just learn what the odds are. Then you’d be able to play scientific poker in any setting.

  25. well… i used to use this program that went through all the old hand histories and it would generate reports about how everyone on my table played….

    i knew for every player how much money they had won or lost, and on average how much they lost per hour. i knew how many times they called a bet on the river to be beat. i knew how many hands they called to see the flop with. this was a huge advantage during my learning years.

    reading the other player is still up there on the required skills… now you just do it through a few factors:

    1) how many chips do they have?
    2) what position are they in?
    3) how have they played previously at this table?
    4) are they capable of a large bluff?
    5) did they hit the “play in turn” button?
    6) if they didn’t, how long did it take to make the bet?
    7) how many chips do i have?
    8) who else is in the pot?
    9) what position am i in?

    with that information you can figure out if it’s worth calling their bet… pretty easy. you still get in their heads exactlly the same way, and that is what the players are saying when they talk about reading people… pretty much there is no such thing as “his left eye twitched, he has the best hand!”.

    so that is my advice, get inside their heads… then dance around with a knife.

    i’ve only been doing these multis for about a week and a half. i did a few a couple years ago and got 4th for a $500 payday, but stopped after that. in that week i went from average 50s out of 300+ to average in the 20s. by next week i’ll be in the money in 1 out of 3-4. tournament play is seriously very very easy once you have experience.

    next caller… ok, we have joanne on the line who seems to have stuck a cucumber up her vagina. whats the problem joanne?

  26. Sell your software to me and I’ll market Chumpbuster XP to all the other wannabe 1337 poker h4X0r5!!! Mwahahahaha!!

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