Who here, when getting on an airplane, wants to punch those smug First Class passengers in the face? Here I am, beat down by life and wearily standing in the aisle in first class while some retarded and/or butter-laden person ahead of me is attempting to figure out why their 300 pound suitcase won’t fit in the overhead bin, and this First Class Jack Ass is looking at me like I’m encroaching on his god-given luxury space. Fuck you, Business-Man. I might just give in to the urge to drop my pants and shit in your gin and tonic.
Also, I hate the motherfucks who take advantage of the preboarding “for the elderly, the disabled, and those with small children”. The airline employees should jump out from behind the podium and scream “BOO!” really loud at everyone preboarding. If you start to cry or you have a heart attack, they should let you on. If you don’t do either of the above, they should throw you in terrorist jail.
Finally, I hate when you arrive at the gate and everyone jumps frantically into the aisle only to stand there for 10 minutes or more. You don’t have to be an asshole buddy. You’re only going to get off the plane 2 seconds ahead of me. I’d like to karate kick those fuckers through one of those tiny airplane windows.