Paul & Amy’s Wedding: Chapter One

My awesome weekend in Wisconsin for the Paul Larsen & Amy Kotowski wedding started
on the plane ride out from San Francisco. I was riding Midwest Airlines
into Milwaukee and it was a direct, red-eye flight. The plan was to leave San Francisco at 11:30pm and get into Milwaukee
at 5:30am. The plane had at least 30 rows of 5 seats each, and there were between 30 and 40 people TOTAL on the flight.
I got my own row, which was awesome considering I was planning on getting squashed between two jackasses on the way out there.
As soon as I sit down my fun starts, as a slightly thugged out gentleman across the aisle and one row back said “Hey! You from
Milwaukee?”

“Yeah,” I said, “Racine actually.”

“WOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!” was his response as I remember it.

From there things only got funnier. He was either thoroughly drunk or insane. Not really the kind of insane where you are just
eccentric but the type where you’re a hobo screaming at the flying pirate tampons. He immediately started badgering the air
waitresses for beer. While going through the pre-flight routine he routinely shouted out “YEEEAAAAAHHH!” in response to the
instructions. He asked me if I wanted to have a beer with him once in the air and I said “Sure,” but only because I felt he
was going to piss on me or put a rock in my mouth if I refused. As soon as possible when we were in the air I fell asleep.

I was awoken seemingly minutes later by the air waitresses telling me that we were almost in Milwaukee and I had to return
my tray and seat to some or another location. It just so happened that we were landing through a rather large thunderstorm
over Milwaukee and as we were descending there were cloud-to-cloud lightning strikes everywhere. My friend, Captain Insane-O,
was delighted at the light show. Everytime a lightning bolt cut through the early morning sky, he would yell out, “Striker!
STRYker! STRIKER!”. We wheeled around over Lake Michigan and landed at around 4:50am local time (almost one hour early). As
we were pulling up to the gate my trip was officially completed when the following conversation occured between Captain Insane-O
and Business Traveler #1 (this is almost exact because I vividly remember it):

Captain Insane-O: “I really love this direct flight from San Fran to Milwaukee. You do this often?”

Business Traveler #1: “Yeah, I like it ok. No hassle with a connection in O’Hare or anything.”

Captain Insane-O: “Yeah, it’s just that I really like the direct flight from San Francisco. It’s a direct connection, you know?”

Business Traveler #1: “Um, yeah, I like it too.”

My mom picked me up at 5:45am and we headed to get some breakfast before playing golf. It turns out that Wisconsin was having record
storms and rain this year and everything was flooded and wet. Golf was an adventure out at Ives Grove Golf Links, what with most of
the sand traps looking like water hazards. Me and the mom had a pretty fun round, and afterwards jetted back to Racine to rest up
and eat some lunch. My brother came home from work and we had some deli-style lunch down at the Gourmet Market Place on 6th St.
downtown. It was fairly good and reminded me strongly of Piazza’s Grocery back in San Mateo.

We ended Thursday by heading up to Milwaukee to have dinner with Wirkuswhazz, bellgirl, and my father. We ended up eating
at a newish restaurant on the lakefront called Coast. It was an upscale place that was themed around dishes from the coasts.
I had an unbelievably good Ahi tuna entree with a white wine butter sauce (burre blanc, dad, BURRE BLANC!).

After dinner I went home with wirkuswhazz and bellgirl to stay with them for the evening. I was immediately drafted into setting
up wwhazz’s new Airport Extreme wireless system (which is apparently already broke). He told me I wasn’t going to be fed or housed if I didn’t. I sprang into action
and sat there for 3 hours or so trying to figure out why it wouldn’t work. While waiting impatiently for me to do him a favor,
Wirkus asked if we wanted to play Scrabble. Hell yeah I wanted to play Scrabble. In typical wwhazz fashion, I was destroyed by words
that I would never think to play in a million years. I also won a $10 side bet with him when I successfully played the word “fiat.”
I finally figured out the wireless problem and got it fixed.



Scrabble Championship

The last things I remember really well from Thursday night are, in order:

  1. Thinking about how I had only had 3 hours of sleep in the last 45 hours.
  2. Listening to wwhazz and jessie argue about who was drunker at Scubby’s wedding and not being able to stop it.
  3. Taking just one more shot of Jager.

darkness reigned…