Me and Bellgirl celebrated the 4th of July in style, road tripping to Pittsburgh for the Brewers/Pirates game. I picked her up from work on Thursday night, and we kept rollin, rollin, rollin for nine hours until we got there. Some of the badder fires we seen:
Forget that cute little Gary, Indiana Song. The whole place is factories, refineries, smog, pregnant teenagers, and an insane number of Fazoli’s. All along the interstate are signs warning “animal present when light is flashing”. Thank god the light never flashed.
Birthplace of our own Zach Moneypenny. Again, not a very cool place. The interstate is all toll way and boring as hell. Every thirty miles is a “service plaza.” The Service plazas all look the same and house the same four restaurants, so you never get any variety or fun when you stop. At the Penn/Ohio border is a quaint little burg called Warren. After nine hours of str8 driving we ventured off the turnpike and stopped for some eggs at a truck stop. We sat at one of the two non-smoking tables and met this 10 year old who must have been the world’s youngest trucker.
We arrived at about ten in the morning, and thanks to my recent poker winnings, upgraded from the Motel 6 on the outskirts of town to the Downtown Westin. It was a swell place. The Brewers and Jessica Simpson were also staying there. Our room was on the 19th story and offered a wonderful view of the city, including an honest to god ketchup factory. Overall downtown is a bit beat up, but nice, completely different form our trip to Minneapolis for last years Brewer/Twins game. In Minn, Miller Lites are 6 bucks. In Pitt, you get 50cent tappers.
We slept for a bit then explored the city, checking out the Warhol Museum. If art made from human urine is your thing, this is one place you will not want to miss. Piss Flowers, art made from peeing flower patterns in the snow and making a plaster mold of the pattern: art can go no further.
After that we hit the second game of a double header that the crew lost by a combined score of 21-3. Ouch. After the game we hit a bar, and while I was in the bathroom whazzing, Bellgirl met a man from Milwaukee, Darren Sutton, the Brewers TV guy. He was swell, getting us drunk, talking brewers and giving us tickets to the next nightï¿½s game. Overall a very odd and interesting experience. Worth noting: I had to stop an intoxicated bellgirl from telling Darren that she suspects that Bill Hall has the biggest penis of all the Brewers.
A few more interesting things:
1. The hobos in Pittsburgh are a very limpy, sickly, beatdown brand of hobo. Even more so than normal hobos. We even witnessed a hobo domestic dispute: two hobo lovers had it out in full daylight because of the woman hobo’s (Cheryl) supposed infidelity. During the entire argument Cheryl sipped from a Blue ICEE.
2. Instead of racing sausages, Pittsburgh has racing perogies. I had never had a perogie so I tried one at the game. Very gross. They are some Polish delicacy sort of like mashed potato stuffed ravioli.
Hmm, that’s about all for now. All in all Pittsburgh is a friendly and interesting city worth checking out. They put on a great fireworks show, and nestled in between mountains and surrounded by three rivers, it is a physically beautiful place. A bit rusty, but still a nice looking city. Booze is cheap, the restaurants are good, and not all the art is piss art. The baseball stadium is still very new (2001?) and it’s located in the center of downtown, just like Milwaukee’s oughta be. A good place to catch a game. My only regret is not checking out that ketchup factory.