Mortgage Lenders

I have some things to say about the escrow process… but I’ll refrain from detailing them until we close escrow, which is apparently now next Tuesday rather than this Thursday.

But in the meantime, here’s an impromtu poll:

Say that you were in the escrow process for purchasing a home and had signed all of the disclosures and all of the loan papers. You then get the following email from your mortgage broker:

I have great news, your sign off (to sign loan documents) is going to be Thursday, October 7th at 4pm. It is at ******* located at *****************. Your escrow officer is [someone], the escrow # is [number].
Please be sure to bring your driver’s licenses with you for the signing.

Shortly after this you speak with the realtor you have been working with and she suggests you start getting all of the services turned on (water, phone, etc.) the weekend of the 8th. Now, the question: would you assume that your closing date on escrow is the 7th? Please post your answer below, using only this information to help you decide, as I did.

to be continued…

16 thoughts on “Mortgage Lenders

  1. motherfuker, I have no idea what youre talking about. I send my rent check off to brian and katie and they blow it at various passion parties. I cant help.

  2. My concrete-ish friend was as perplexed as I when I presented it to him. “A conundrum!” he declared forthwith, “If you have already signed all of the relevant paperwork, then if you are meeting do sign ‘the loan papers’ then it must be something important! The Close of Escrow, perchance?” Alas, I took his stolid advice and now I end up The Fool in this play. CURSES!

  3. HELL NO!!! The house is only yours when your lender funds. This is why we wound up with a refrigerator, washer and dryer delivered to our driveway instead of our kitchen and laundry room, respectively.

    Mortagage companies and realtors and builders are all bitches!

  4. They put your shit in the driveway to punk you out. And guess what it? Worked. You looked like a goddamn punk doing laundry in the driveway. Biggest fool in town. Even the mayor laughed his mayoral ass off at you.

  5. Wirkus,
    I’m sorry to bring this up, but as your rent was 13 minutes and 4 seconds late this month, I’ll have to charge you a 323,400.67 late fee. You can make the check to us or payable to Aeden McGoldrich. We also accept cash, moneyorder, and paypal.
    Thank you for your continued business.

  6. The other funny thing that I wanted to tell you all was that I signed up for a profile for Match.com, not because I wanted to start Internet dating (I have enough boyfriends for the present), but so that I could look at my old boss’ profile, Dave Hyttel and Adam Jensen’s profiles. Now I get all of their emails with new profiles of eligible bachelors. Sometimes, in procrastinating doing homework, I’ll skim through the pickings. Guess whose profile was there this week???? TODD MAUER. I almost died. If you were a Match.com member, you could have seen it to, but you are just going to have to talk my word for it. He likes the Badgers, is a “social drinker” (my ass one or two), and get this – long walks on the beach. I almost died. I almost died.

  7. Wow… uhm… wow. Did he come up as a match for you, sweety? Maybe you should go over to his place and “hang out,” Jen. Big Show, do you have any comment?

  8. Dude really is healthy as hell these days: He works out, doesn’t smoke, and he has a drink like once every 6 months. No kidding. And as far as beaches go, I think that’s something he would honestly enjoy. He’s a mellow kinda guy.

  9. Maybe we really would be perfect together…I’m pretty boring these days, unless you find the discussion of the duties and limitations of negligence in tort law titillating.

  10. Actually, Todd’s profile is 100% serious. He indeed does like the Badgers and long walks on the beach, but as far as being a “social drinker,” that is inaccurate. Todd doesn’t drink anything stronger than tonic water with lemon these days…he’s off the sauce. That, combined with working out every day and having a good, no wait, great job, makes him quite the catch I would think. If anyone wants to go for a ride in his new Lincoln Navigator with DVD and GPS, check out match.com. Hell, if you send him your street address his Navi will damn near drive itself to pick you up.

  11. I guess we lucked out – while Amy was signing the papers Best Buy was at the house with me delivering the washer and dryer. And then Charter came right after that (*early*!).

    Mmmm…tort law.

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